Power

 From Georgios Charpantidis

Avoidant attachment is about power.

Every time an avoidant pretends they don't like you - they get the power of being desired

without desiring (being chased without chasing).

Every time an avoidant withdraws, asks for "space" or stone-walls you -- the avoidant gets the

power to control the relationship through distance. The avoidant decides when to communicate and 

when to withdraw.

Every time an avoidant complains that you are being too needy or clingy, the avoidant conditions

you to expect less and ask for nothing in the relationship.

What each of these behaviors tell you:

The avoidant needs to be in control - making all the decisions while indirectly and quietly conditioning you to feel ashamed about your needs, boundaries, and expectations

The result?

Erasure and submission. Through manipulation and control-tactics -- you become a tool without a voice. A slave without needs -- and a victim that's waiting to be saved.

To enforce this dynamic and make sure that you never leave -- the avoidant uses intermittent reinforcement and breadcrumbing to keep you like a dog on a leash. 

Like an animal/dog experiment -- the avoidant throws you a bone every time that you're starving/just to keep you around.

Like a vampire that feeds his vassal with his own blood -- the avoidant controls you in a trauma bond or parasitic enmeshment that weaponizes your natural biological need for intimacy and turns it into a tool to control you.

Like a narcissist -- you are turned into supply.

The avoidant gets validation, time, energy and money because he knows how to take advantage of the

very same "neediness" that he loves to complain about.

The end-game? To condition you to self-abandon and become addicted like a pigeon to their breadcrumbs.

Which is why an avoidant is not much different in behavior and relating from a leech that needs a host to feed on.

But "tell me again" how different that is from narcissism.