Three principles

From Respectable Sins

So again, I commend to you the three principles or practices that I find so helpful:

a firm belief in the sovereignty of God;

a diligent pursuit of brotherly love that covers a multitude of sins and does not keep a record of wrongs;

and a humble realization that, in comparison to my brother's sin against me, I am the ten-thousand-talent debtor to God.

Anger towards others

 From Respectable Sins

I have found that a firm belief in the sovereignty of God is my first defense against a temptation to allow anger to linger in my mind and emotions. If I want to deal with the temptation decisively, I actively call to my mind that the actions of another person (or persons) that triggered my initial response of anger is under the sovereign control of God. Though the actions may be sinful in themselves, God intends them for my good. As Joseph said to his brothers, "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good." (Genesis 50:20).

Anger towards God

 From Respectable Sins

God, I know that You love me, and I also know that Your ways are often beyond my understanding. I admit I am confused at this time because I do not see the evidence of Your love toward me. Help me, by the power of Your Spirit, to trust You and not give in to the temptation to be angry at You.

Discontentment

From Respectable Sins

You will recognize that there is a recurring theme running through this chapter as well as the previous one. That theme is the importance of a firm belief in the sovereignty, wisdom, and goodness of God in all the circumstances of our lives. Whether those circumstances are short-term or long-term, our ability to respond to them in a God-honoring and God-pleasing manner depends on our ability and willingness to bring these truths to bear on them. And we must do this by faith; that is, we must believe that the Bible's teaching about these attributes really is true and that God has brought or allowed these difficult circumstances in our lives for His glory and our ultimate good. 

Willing to

From Respectable Sins

Lord, I am willing to -

Receive what you give,

Lack what you withhold,

Relinquish what you take.

Acceptance

From Respectable Sins

Acceptance means that you accept your circumstances from God, trusting that He unerringly knows what is best for you and that in His love, He purposes only that which is best. Having then reached a state of acceptance, you can ask God to let you use your difficult circumstances to glorify Him. In this way you have moved from the attitude of a victim to an attitude of stewardship. You begin to ask, "God, how can I use my disability (or whatever the difficult circumstance may be) to serve You and glorify You?"

Frustration

From Respectable Sins

I have already mentioned Psalm 139:16 as a passage of Scripture that helps me with frustration. But the same truth that God has ordained all our days, with all their ups and downs, their blessings and disappointments, can help us (and does help me) deal with the circumstances that tempt us to be discontent. Whatever your circumstances, and however difficult they may be, the truth is that they are ordained by God for you as part of His overall plan for your life. God does nothing, or allows nothing, without a purpose. And His purposes, however mysterious and inscrutable they may be to us, are always for His glory and our ultimate good.

More green flags

 I love these...

Green flags in people:

• They celebrate your wins
• Remember small things about you
• They respect your boundaries
• You feel energized after seeing them
• They listen without being defensive
• They allow you to be fully yourself
• They make you feel safe
• You don't have to watch what you say
• They support your goals

Disrespected

Don't make the mistake of being

so understanding and forgiving

that you overlook the fact that

you're being disrespected.

Waiting

and I said to my body, softly.

"i want to be your friend."

it took a long breath.

and replied 

"i have been waiting my whole life for this."

~Nayyirah Waheed

Short life

 In this short life that only

lasts an hour

How much -

how little - 

is within our power.

~Emily Dickinson

Make sense

 Your boundaries don't have to make sense to them.

Own voice

 Give. But don't allow yourself to be used.

Love. But don't allow your heart to be abused.

Trust. But don't be naive.

Listen. But don't lose your own voice.

Desperately needs

your tenderness is a gift,

your gentle heart is a strength,

and your willingness to see the

best in people is the light that

this world desperately needs.

~topher kearby

Against me

 I never once felt it was wrong to have such a

capacity to feel until I saw just how many were

willing to use it against me.

~Samira Vivette

Crave

 You can't disappoint

 a woman multiple times

and expect her energy

to still crave you.

Don't respect

 If you repeatedly have to tell

someone the same exact things

about how you feel and nothing

changes, understand they don't

respect you.

More green flags

 This is such a new concept to me since often only red flags are talked about...

GREEN FLAGS IN A RELATIONSHIP

• They can genuinely apologize
• They lean in and listen
• They don't diminish your feelings
• They take responsibility for their actions
• It matters to them how they make you feel
• They want to grow together and find compromises and solutions instead of blaming you or something else
• They respect you and make you feel safe when you want to express your feelings
• They are not scared of hard conversations

~Empower Wholeness

How far you've come

Instead of focusing on how much more you have left to do,

I think you need to take a deep breath and recognize just

how far you've come. There are parts of you that don't ache

the same way they used to. There are people you no longer

miss. Situations that no longer bring you to your knees. 

There are things you do now, easily, that used to feel 

impossible. Yes, it's important to keep moving forward but

it's equally important to see the distance you've traveled,

the versions of yourself you thought you'd never outgrow

that are but distant memories now. It's incredible, just how

much you have healed, traversed, let go, and accomplished.

Progress is amazing, but time a moment to acknowledge 

just how much ground you've already covered.

~Jamie Varon

One thing

That's the one thing you have to

understand. If it was really meant to be.

Then it would have been. Nothing more.

Nothing less.

I just hope it doesn't take you a lifetime

to understand this. that's all.

~r.m. drake

Love came first

LOVE CAME FIRST

by Donna Ashworth

You don't move on after loss, but you must move with. 

You must shake hands with grief, welcome her in, for she

lives with you now. Pull her a chair at the table and offer

her comfort. She is not the monster, you first thought her

to be. She is love. And she will walk with you now, stay

with you now, peacefully. If you let her. And on the days

when your anger is high, remember why she came, 

remember who she represents. Remember. Grief came to

you my friend because love came first. Love came first. 

Feel stupid

Don't ever feel stupid for loving someone

who turned out to be everything they

promised they would never be. But be proud

that you still believe in the goodness of people,

because that is rare. Don't let it harden you. 

Learn the lesson, but keep that soft heart.

~Stephanie Bennett-Henry

Interested

i know it all ends the same,

but i was interested in seeing

how you would break my heart.

~AVA.

The search

the search stopped at you.

i like myself more 

when you're around.

i breathe a little deeper -

i sleep soundly and love

without fear, and i think it all

comes down to one thing -

you understand me like

no one else ever has.

~s.colinson

Eventually

If they never regret not treating you better,

eventually they'll come across those who make

them realize that your patient, loyal, nurturing

traits were rarer than they thought.

And that will solely be enough to make them

know what they lost.

~Samira Vivette

Overly independent

 Somebody said,

"Being overly independent

is a defense mechanism

from constantly being let

down"

& I promise you I felt it in

my soul.

Rescuing people

A little secret from a therapist:

Rescuing people from natural consequences might

delay them from learning a valuable lesson. People

learn from mistakes, and if they aren't allowed to

make any, they might not learn critical problem-

solving skills. Allowing people to experience what

they need to is a beautiful way for you to do less

work and for them to have an opportunity to learn

what's required.

Repeat after me:

I can support people in ways that don't require me to save them.

~Nedratawwab (?)

Mine

Good reminder...

While praying one day a woman asked,

"Who are you, God?" He answered, "I am."

"But who is, 'I am?'" she asked.

He replied, "I am love, I am peace, I am grace, I am joy,

I am strength, I am safety, I am shelter, I am power,

I am the creator, I am the comforter,

I am the beginning and the end.

I am the way, the truth, and the light."

With tears in her eyes she looked toward heaven

and said, "Now I understand, but, who am I?"

God tenderly wiped the tears from her eyes and

whispered, "You are mine."

Monarch butterflies

Monarch butterflies will not

attempt to fly in the rain

because the raindrops will

damage their wings.

They will rest and wait it out.

It's self-preservation.

It's okay to rest during

the storms in your life.

Take all the time you need.

You will fly again

once the storm passes.

~Sharyn March

The peace

 THE PEACE THEY NOW FEEL

They're not angry, those you lost.

Wherever they are.

They're not bitter, or traumatised by the pain they once

felt.

They're not hoarding regret, nor are they interested in

retribution or revenge.

They are at peace.

And if you believe that they watch us, that they flow

alongside us in essence, they you can be certain they

would wish only for us to feel that peace, they now know.

And their love.

So, if you are feeling any of the painful emotions above, in

honour of your loved ones passed over, please, please find

a way to release it to the heavens.

They will take it for you and let it go.

They're not angry, those you lost.

They are at peace.

Let them share with you, the peace they now feel.

It was hard won.

~Donna Ashworth

Wish I knew

 I WISH I KNEW

I wish I knew, from the start,

that self-esteem is a home grown virtue.

And that you should never plant those precious seeds,

in someone else's garden.

I wish I knew, at every step,

that all those seeds really require,

in order to bloom,

is approval, from yourself.

Yes I wish I know, way back then,

that self-approval is their sunlight,

peace is their soil

and love is their rain.

And all the other things can come and go like the seasons

and the wind.

I wish I knew, all along,

that those seeds can grow so tall, so strong and so fierce,

like the most beautiful sunflowers,

if the conditions are right.

Or they can wither away to weed and husk,

if neglected.

I wish I knew, that no matter how much of the world I

scoured,

I would not find a better garden,

than the one I could grow myself,

if only I knew how.

And I wish for you,

to know 

this too,

so you,

can grow,

and water,

you.

~Donna Ashworth

Just live

OR YOU COULD JUST LIVE

You are going to wish your body was more,

You are going to wish your body was less,

You are going to wish your body would change,

You are going to wish your body would not.

You are going to wish your body was many things,

between now,

and the day you leave this mortal coil.

And one day,

as is always the way,

you will look back,

and see,

that your body was always as it should be.

Doing its best

To be you,

for you.

And you are then going to wish that just once,

you had told your body,

"I accept you, as you are, right now."

And that maybe had you done this,

you would have spared yourself a lifetime,

of wishing for something you didn't really ever need.

That what it was you should have been wishing for, in fact,

was the courage to accept,

the strength to embrace,

the wisdom to really see,

what you have.

You're going to wish for many things,

when it comes to your body.

Or you could just wish for health.

And live your life,

flawed

and 

beautiful.

~Donna Ashworth 

Enough is enough

 

There must come a time after taking so much for so 

long when you acknowledge enough is enough. This is

your soul stepping into a new evolution of self-love.

This is you proclaiming the days of being treated less

than you deserve are one hundred percent done.

~Samira Vivette, Tunnel Vision

Green flags

 Had to think about these for a minute...

10 DATING GREEN FLAGS

that look red

1. Lack of an initial spark

2. Infrequent communication

3. Clarifying intentions early

4. Not making you a priority

5. Slow progress

6. Different interests

7. Not always being available

8. Setting up the relationship culture

from the start

9. Asking for space in or after conflict

10. Conflict

Treat right

 

TOXIC is when they CAN'T let you go,

but they CAN'T TREAT you RIGHT either.

~Jay McKinley

Agreement

 

Pray not to get, but to come

into agreement with God.

When you and  God agree

together as one, then all

that's left is an expectation

of seeing what you both

have agreed upon.

~Papa Kenneth E. Hagin Fans

Wait differently

 

The moment you begin

to UNDERSTAND that

God is never late, you 

begin to wait

DIFFERENTLY.

Exhale

It's okay to distance yourself from

spiritual spaces that are more concerned

with what doctrine you believe than

protecting you.

Find a place to exhale.

~Cole Arthur Riley, Black Liturgies

Until then

There will 

come a time

when every

step of the 

journey God

is taking you

on will make

sense. Until 

then, keep

trusting Him.

~Toby Mac

Good years

 

So many good

people have lost

so many good 

years staying

loyal to toxic 

people.

My distance

 

My distance is not

meant to hurt you.

It's to protect

myself.

~Morgan Richard Olivier

At all costs

 From Flying Free Now

A church that promotes marriage at all

costs is not promoting a biblical

covenant marriage, they're promoting

religious bondage disguised as a biblical

covenant marriage. God didn't create

covenant marriage for His child to be abused and

betrayed. God created covenant 

marriage for his people to love each

other like Christ loves the church

(Ephesians 5:25)

~Patrick Weaver

Impulsive

I wish more people

talked about how 

trauma makes us

impulsive. We

can't cope with

uncomfortable

feelings so we shop,

drink, jump into

relationships, and say

yes to things without

thinking. Anything to

feel better, quickly.

Which ultimately

makes us feel even

worse, afterwards.

~The Holistic Psychologist

Great trap

 From Flying Free Now

One of the great traps of the narcissistic relationship is that

the narcissistic folks actually believe they are nice people.

They really do. It's part of their system of delusional

grandiosity, self-righteousness, and moral rectitude. This

would all be much easier of they walked around and owned it.

"Hey, I am a jerk and I believe everything should be all about

me, so just deal with it." Then, when they behaved badly or in

a manipulative manner, you may be a bit perturbed, but you

wouldn't be surprised, and you'd be far less likely to blame

yourself for their bad behavior. These are deeply asymmetric

relationships and you and the narcissistic person are playing

by different rules and expectations.

~Ramani Durvasula,

It's Not You Identifiying and Healing

from Narcissistic People

Prayer

 Prayer at end of Praying Like Paul

And now, Lord God, we ask your blessing on all who read this book for without it there will be no real benefit. We may have more information, but not compassion; we may have forms of praying, but no fruitful adoration and intercession; we may have oratory, but be lacking in unction; we may thrill your people, but not transform them; we may expand their minds, but display too little wisdom and understanding; we may amuse many, but find few who are solidly regenerated by your blessed Holy Spirit.

So now we ask for your blessing, for the power of the Spirit, that we may know you better and grow in our grasp of your incalculable love for us. Bless us, Lord God, not with ease or endless triumph, but with faithfulness. Bless us with the right number of tears, and with minds and hearts that hunger both to know and to do your Word. Bless us with a profound hunger and thirst for righteousness, a zeal for truth, a love of people. Bless us with the perspective that weighs all things from the vantage point of eternity. Bless us with a transparent love of holiness. Grant to us strength in weakness, joy in sorrow, calmness in conflict, patience when opposed or attacked, trustworthiness under temptation, love when we are hated, firmness and farsightedness when the climate prefers faddishness and drift.

We beg of you, holy and merciful God, that we may be used by you to extend your kingdom widely, to being many to know and love you truly.

Grant above all that our lives will increasingly bring glory to your dear Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip us with everything good for doing his will, and may 

he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

Give your love

Never give your love

to somebody

who doesn't know

what to do with it.

~Mark Anthony

Upside down

 The truth is...

You never return to being

who you remember, before

life was turned upside down.

But you can embrace,

who you are meant to become

in the turn around.

~Madame K. Poetess

Real victory

You don't have to fight. It's okay to walk away.

It isn't giving up if you're choosing yourself over

a battle that will leave you bloodied and broken.

You didn't surrender, you chose something more

worthwhile to put your effort into and that is the

real victory.

~JD Lynn

Taught strength

 

Sometimes we must experience the worst to be able 

to know what can be possible, we must experience

heartache to understand that love can exist. We

must experience hurt to finally find joy in living.

Life will test us; it will test our strength to endure.

We are not born strong, but we are taught strength

through the trials and tribulations in our lives.

~J.M. Preston

Destruction

He's a raging, out of control hurricane,

and I'm nothing more than a paper plane

caught up in his storm. I cling to him while

I wait it out, hoping against hope that

there's something left behind in the

aftermath of his destruction.

~My Name is Tryst by Julie Anne Addicott

Sometimes

A little depressing but relatable...

Sometimes I wonder.

How life would've been.

When I had the chance to

really live.

Instead of healing from many

things. That weren't my fault.

~Jessica Fiona

Asked for

 

He asked for strength that he might achieve,

he was made weak that he might obey.

He asked for health that he might do greater things;

he was given infirmity that he might do better things.

He asked for riches that he might be happy;

he was given poverty that he might be wise.

He asked for power that he might have the praise of men;

he was given weakness that he might feel the need of God.

He asked for all the things that he might enjoy life;

he was given life that he might enjoy all things.

He has received nothing that he asked for, all that he hoped for;

his prayer is answered.

Might grow

 

I asked the Lord that I might grow

In faith, and love, and every grace;

Might more of his salvation know,

And seek more earnestly his face.

I thought that in some favored hour

At once he'd answer my request;

And, by his love's constraining power,

Subdue my sins and give me rest.

Instead of this, he made me feel

The hidden evils of my heart,

And let the angry power of hell

Assault my soul in every part.

"Lord, why is this?" I trembling cried.

"Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?"

"'Tis in this way," the Lord replied,

"I answer prayer for grace and faith."

"These inward trials I employ

From self and pride to set thee free,

And break thy schemes of earthly joy,

That thou may'st seek thy all in me!"

From Praying Like Paul

Questioned

A man who tells the truth doesn't mind being questioned.

A liar does.

Fear of insecurity

 From Praying Like Paul

"I am speaking now of  'charities' in the common way. Particular cases of distress among your own relatives, friends, neighbors or employees, which God, as it were, forces upon your notice, may demand much more: even to the crippling and endangering of your own position. For many of us, the great obstacle to charity lies not in our luxurious living or desire for more money, but in our fear - fear of insecurity. This must often be recognized as a temptation."

Your body

Your body is a glorious body.

Your body is a wonderful body.

Your body is a strong body.

Your body is a good body.

Your body is a worthy body.

Your body is YOUR body.

Become her friend.

Become her ally.

See her radiance.

See her magnificence.

See her worth.

Nurture her in love.

Smother her in kindness.

Embrace her in compassion.

She is your home.

(Side note - temporary home)

~Kat Shaw

Holes

 holes.

i wonder if those who have the biggest

holes in their hearts are also the ones

who have the greatest capacity to let

the light come in. to love. and give.

and weep their sorrows into gratitude.

that is to say, sometimes brokenness

has a way of cracking you right down 

to your barest parts. and when you have

nothing left to hide, nowhere left to go

and no one left beside you, you can either

choose to become a boarded up wall or a

wide open window.

~ullie-kaye