Don't leave me

 I have an angel holding my hand

Don't really leave me,

don't ever fully go.

Be the rain,

be the sky I look up to,

be the stars,

or a rainbow.

Give me a sign,

any sign,

and I'll know you're still walking beside me.

Be a butterfly

or a rose petal,

or the scent of snowy mornings.

Come visit me often.

Speak to me in all the ways you know.

And in any way, I'll listen.

But don't truly leave me.

Call me, talk to me, whisper to me.

Drop a feather

at the foot of my bed

on a weary morning,

my angel,

and I'll know you're still here.

Everything is returned

You reap what you sow,

No matter how long it takes.

Everything you do gets 

returned to you.

Big beautiful ways

sometimes

we honor them

in big beautiful ways.

we write. we paint. we sing.

we share their story. their picture.

we do good things in their name.

and sometimes we honor quietly.

we cry. we break. we get out of bed.

we try to stay alive and love them.

we can honor a person's life by

sharing things. creating things.

and we can also honor a life by

surviving in a world without it.

There

find me there

by sara rian

please don't be afraid

to sit with someone's grief.

it is just love learning to cry

and memories turning to gold.

Ruining

 He is ruining someone else's life now.

You are safe.

A year later

 And a year later ~

she looked back with so much

peace in her heart.

Her heart, once weighed down by

the past, now danced with

gratitude, for the present, a 

melody of joy echoing through

her every step.

~annawin

For itself

 Worth reposting...

Nothing in nature lives for itself.

Rivers don't drink their own water.

Trees don't eat their own fruit.

The Sun doesn't shine for itself.

A flower's fragrance is not for itself.

Living for each other is the rule of nature.

Big heart

You have a big heart for a reason, my darling. You stand out from the rest of them because you can endure far more than what you think you can. You are so strong and so brave, even when your heart has been ripped apart and is beyond recognition. Even when you have been left alone by the ones you needed most, you still got up to face another day. You are the bravest of them all. A survivor who makes sure she's a thriver.

~Kayil York

Not a pushover

 This is from The Sun Times News. Article by Steve Gwisdalla

(Favorite part is about giving)

Be Kind, But Not a Pushover

Hello, my friends. It is the time of year we look back and reflect on a year nearly complete. For most of us, it is also the time of year we offer to help the less fortunate. Perhaps it is a food donation to a local pantry. Perhaps a little something in a red kettle next to someone ringing a bell. Whatever it may be, acts of kindness are worthy, noble, and ever-more necessary to our society.

With all that being said, it is easy to become a target for those looking for easy marks to take advantage of. The old adage of  'nice guys finish last' comes to mind, but it is more than that. Nice can be faked. Nice can be temporary. Anyone can be nice when they want something. Being nice isn't what the Tribe of Up is about, my friends. Nice lasts only as long as necessary to achieve a desired outcome. Let me challenge all of you with something a little more...robust than simply being nice.

Be a good person.

You can be a good person and not be nice all of the time. A good person knows boundaries, practices empathy, is honest, and takes care of themselves before taking care of others. Why you may ask? If you do not take care of yourself first, or as the late Dr. Stephen Covey called, sharpening the saw, simply being nice will fade and burn out can happen. Find inner peace. Seek to understand before being understood. Good people know that they cannot truly help others build themselves up if their own foundation is faulty. In a previous article, I spoke of deposits and withdrawals. Giving to those in need is certainly from you, but at the end of the day and at the same time, it is also for you. Let me say that again. Acts of kindness are for you first. Otherwise, there is reliance on the feedback we receive to help to determine the value of the act. If the feedback isn't what we think it should be, the act feels lessoned and the aforementioned kindness burnout becomes a realistic possibility. If we are truly good people, we do good simply because the opportunity is there. While we certainly hope the act yields a deposit in other people's emotional bank accounts, it absolutely will add a deposit in ours. Once our account reaches a high enough level, we can give from the interest earned in our accounts, not the principal. Being nice is one thing. Making sure our emotional finances are in good order makes us good people. Advocating for more joy makes us kind people. 

On the contrary, saying yes to every request and burning your emotional candle at both ends just to please everyone is not the way a truly good person lives. Sometimes, we must say no. Sometimes, we need time to recharge, to rebuild our emotional finances a bit. Don't be a pushover. Be true to your values while helping those you choose to help for the reasons that matter to you. It has been my experience that I have never found happiness in the reactions or feedback I have received. Positive feedback is nice. It surely is better than the alternative. But when I do, or give, or act, it is for me. It is for the example I am trying to be for myself first. Only I know the bar I am trying to clear. Only I know how close I am to the person I want to be all the time. Admitting imperfection and admitting limits are a very real thing are tremendously important to avoid emotional burnout. Help where you can. Give what you can. Don't worry if statues aren't built in your honor as a result. By having a rock solid foundation, you will be well armored to go out into the world and be a great person, not a pushover.

Introvert

You think you're an introvert

because you like being alone.

But in reality, you just love being at peace.

And you're actually extroverted

around people who bring you peace.

Now

 By Toby Mac

One of the 

biggest 

mistakes we 

make in life

is thinking

we have time.

Be present.

Be kind.

Love more.

Love now.

Beautifully fragile

 Another repost...

We are all just a car crash, a diagnosis,

an unexpected phone call, a newfound love,

or a broken heart away from becoming

a completely different person.

How beautifully fragile are we

that so many things can take but a

moment to alter who we are

for forever?

~Samuel Decker Thompson

Love yourself

 Have posted this before, but always a good reminder.

"Do you love me?" Alice asked.

"No, I don't love you!" replied the White Rabbit.

Alice frowned and clasped her hands together as she did whenever she felt hurt.

"See?" replied the White Rabbit.

"Now you're going to start asking yourself what makes you so imperfect and what did you do wrong so that I can't love you at least a little.

You know, that's why I can't love you.

You will not always be loved, Alice, there will be days when others will be tired and bored with life, will have their heads in the clouds, and will hurt you.

Because people are like that, they somehow always end up hurting each other's feelings, whether through carelessness, misunderstanding, or conflicts with themselves.

If you don't love yourself, at least a little, if you don't create an armor of self-love and happiness around your heart, the feeble annoyances caused by others will become lethal and will destroy you.

The first time I saw you I made a pact with myself: "I will avoid loving you until you learn to love yourself."

From Alice in Wonderland

Later

Don't leave anything for later.

Later, the coffee gets cold.

Later, you lose interest.

Later, the day turns into night.

Later, people grow up.

Later, people grow old.

Later, life goes by.

Later, you regret not doing

something...when you had

the chance. 

Intelligent people

 I'm not saying I am one, but interesting...

Happiness in intelligent people

is the rarest thing I know.

~Ernst Hemingway

Valid

 Your feelings are

valid, even if no one

understands them

Making others happy

10 Lessons from When Making Others Happy is Making You Miserable

1. People-Pleasing is a Form of Self-Sacrifice

Constantly trying to please others comes at a cost to your own mental and emotional health. People-pleasers often neglect their own needs, leading to burnout and resentment.

2. Saying "No" is a Healthy Boundaries Practice

Learning to say "no" is essential for preserving your energy and maintaining healthy relationships. It allows you to focus on what truly matters without feeling guilty.

3. The Root of People-Pleasing is Often Fear

Fear of rejection, conflict, or not being loved is a driving force behind people-pleasing behavior. Understanding this can help you address the underlying issues and work through them.

4. You Can't Control Others' Reactions

No matter how hard you try, you can't control how others perceive you. Letting go of this need for control frees you from the stress of constantly seeking approval.

5. Self-Worth Shouldn't Be Tied to External Validation

Your value isn't determined by others' opinions or expectations. True self-worth comes from within, and aligning your actions with your values leads to greater fulfillment.

6. It's Okay to Disappoint Others Sometimes

It's impossible to please everyone all the time. Disappointing others can be uncomfortable, but it's necessary to your own well-being and authenticity.

7. Recognize the Dangers of Enabling

People-pleasing can sometimes lead to enabling others' poor behavior. It's important to recognize when you are overextending yourself and enabling unhealthy dynamics.

8. Practice Self-Care Without Guilt

Taking time for yourself isn't selfish. It's essential for maintaining emotional health and having the energy to care for others when needed.

9. Reframe Your Perspective on Conflict

Conflict isn't necessarily a bad thing. Healthy disagreements and differing opinions are a part of life, and they can lead to stronger, more honest relationships.

10. Seek Support and Accountability

Breaking the cycle of people-pleasing can be challenging, but seeking support from trusted friends, a counselor, or a mentor can help you stay accountable and reinforce your new mindset.

(Book is by Karen Ehman)

Hesitate

 Don't Hesitate

by Mary Oliver

If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy,

don't hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty

of lives and whole towns destroyed or about

to be. We are not wise, and not very often

kind. And much can never be redeemed.

Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this

is its way of fighting back, that sometimes

something happens better than all the riches

or power in the world. It could be anything,

but very likely you notice it in the instant

when love begins. Anyway, that's often the

case. Anyway, whatever it is, don't be afraid

of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.

(Posted by Nona)

Imitation

 Rudeness is the

weak man's imitation

of strength.

~Eric Hoffer

Shaped you

 In order to love who you are,

you cannot hate the experiences

that shaped you.

~Andrea Dykstra

Boats and storms

 We are not all in the same boat.

We are in the same storm.

Some have yachts, some canoes,

and some are drowning.

Just be kind

and help whoever you can.

Resolution

This feels impossible to me, but...

My 2025 resolution is to stop

wondering if I'm good enough for

other people and start wondering

if they're good enough for me. 

Irreplaceable

 No lie...some women are

irreplaceable. Like the

things she does for you and

the feelings she had and

showed you...you may

never experience it again.

Know them

Know the red flags

A person doesn't have to only drain you with arguments and

fights. They can drain you with lack of communication, lack of

trust, lack of empathy, lack of apologizing, lack of

acknowledgment and lack of fulfilling your love language.

Know the red flags.

It's not always loud and chaotic; sometimes it's the quiet

neglect that drains you the most. The lack of effort, the

unspoken words, the absence of empathy - it all chips away at

the connection. It's those small, overlooked actions (or lack of 

them) that show the real red flags. Pay attention to how they

show up, not just in words but in consistent actions. It's about

being valued.

Beg

 You disrespect yourself

When you beg someone for bare minimum things like:

• Love
• Attention
• Affection
• Support
• Reciprocation, etc.

Don't do that to yourself.

Never lower your standards to keep someone in your 

life. When you beg for basic things, you diminish your

own sense of worth and self-respect. Love and 

attention should be freely given, not earned through

begging. Invest your energy in those who meet you

halfway and appreciate you fully.

Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything

that makes you question your value.

Can't love you

 He Can't Love You...

One of the most disappointing things that you,

as a woman, could ever go through is to

fall in love with a man that can't

love and respect you because he hasn't 

learned to love and respect himself yet.

~Mr. Amari Soul

Effect

Posted by BookPlug

Here are ten lessons from The Absent Father Effect on Daughters by Susan E. Schwartz, which explores the impact of absent or emotionally unavailable fathers on daughters and how they can heal and develop a strong sense of self.

1. Understand the "Absent Father" Concept: Absence doesn't only mean physical absence; emotional unavailability or neglect also leaves deep emotional scars. This book shows how daughters of such fathers often feel unseen or misunderstood.
2. Impact on Self-Worth: Many daughters with absent fathers struggle with self-esteem and self-worth. Recognizing this impact is the first step to healing, as it allows one to understand the roots of self-doubt.
3. Seeking Validation: Daughters of absent fathers often seek validation from others, particularly in relationships. Schwartz encourages recognizing this tendency and finding ways to build internal validation instead.
4. Trust and Attachment Issues: A lack of secure father-daughter relationship can lead to issues with trust and attachment in adult relationships. Understanding this helps women work on building healthy attachment styles.
5. Self-Compassion as a Healing Tool: Developing self-compassion is crucial for daughters of absent fathers. It enables them to replace self-criticism with understanding and begin to heal from unmet needs.
6. Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Avoidance: Daughters often internalize emotional avoidance patterns. Consciously choosing vulnerability and openness can break this cycle and lead to more fulfilling relationships.
7. Recognize Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships: Some women expect partners to fulfill the emotional void left by their fathers. Schwartz encourages women to set realistic expectations and find fulfillment within themselves.
8. Healing Through Inner Work: Therapy, journaling, and self-reflection are essential for processing feelings of abandonment or rejection. This inner work allows daughters to reframe their experiences and heal.
9. Embracing the Power of Female Role Models: Schwartz suggests finding strong female role models or mentors to help daughters or absent fathers develop resilience, self-worth, and a sense of identity.
10. Reclaiming Personal Identity: The absence of a father can lead to identity struggles, but embracing personal interests, passions, and strengths helps build a strong, independent identity free from past trauma.

The Absent Father Effect on Daughters provides insights into the emotional challenges faced by daughters of absent fathers and empowers them with tools to heal and reclaim their sense of self.

Red flag

A red flag is a red flag.

You could lose many years of your great life ignoring this rule.

Maya Angelou said it beautifully: "When someone shows you who they are believe them."

So, in love, business and life, when you see (or sense) that someone has behavior that is concerning, avoid them. Wish them well on their path. And protect your peace.

Hold on

Posted by Brenda Fernandez

May you get married to a man who will love you more than you love him. 

My mother once told me:

When you hold a man's hand and he makes your heart beat faster and he makes you feel giddy and excited, walk away from this man. He is not the man for you. If you hold a man's hand and he makes you feel warm, safe and secure, hold onto him.

Not doing anything

Posted by Larissa Rissy Roo

If they are not doing anything

to keep you,

then why are you fighting to stay?

Rediscover

Often, when a woman ends a long-term relationship, the man's first thoughts are:

"She must have found someone else" or "How could she just leave after all these years?"

What many men don't consider are the countless nights she went to bed feeling worthless because of his disrespect or broken promises to change.

They don't remember all the times she stood by his side when no one else did, or how she prayed for him to become a better person.

They don't think about how she always put everyone else's needs before their own.

They don't acknowledge how her friends and family urged her to leave, yet she stayed.

No, all that many men can focus on is, "How could she just walk away?"

The truth is, women don't suddenly wake up one day and decide to leave.

A man's actions, his words, and the way he makes her feel gradually add up, and eventually, the burden becomes too heavy to bear.

When she stops expressing her frustrations, stops pushing you to understand your perspective, it's not because she's given in - it's because she's planning her way out of the toxic situation.

She didn't leave to find someone else;

SHE LEFT TO REDISCOVER HERSELF.

Stay strong to all the women building the courage to know your worth.

Faithful

Being faithful in a relationship isn't just

about staying out of someone else's bed.

It's way deeper than that.

It's the texts you don't send, the flirty conversations

you don't entertain, and the decisions you make when

no one's watching.

Being faithful isn't just about avoiding the act of

cheating. It's about consciously removing yourself

from any situation that could potentially blur the lines.

It's about not seeking validation or attention from 

anyone outside the relationship. It's about not having

anything on your phone that you wouldn't want your 

partner to see. Being truly faithful is not just about 

physical monogamy. It's about emotional integrity.

Love them

 Posted by Jecris Suriben

Don't allow someone to treat you poorly just because you love them.

It doesn't matter if it's a friend, a family member, or even your partner. It doesn't matter how long you've known them or how nice they may have been to you in the past, you are allowed to call people out on their abusive behavior.

Set boundaries about what you are and are not willing to tolerate. You are allowed to vocalize how their abuse makes you feel. You are allowed to share those feelings and experiences with other people. And if necessary, you are allowed to leave and distance yourself.

You have every right to stand up and say, "I love you and I really want you to be a part of my life, but I can't continue to allow you to treat me this way. I can't continue to sacrifice my wellbeing for the sake of maintaining this connection.

So if things don't change, I'm going to have to cut you out of my life. Not because I don't care about you or respect you, but because I care about and respect myself.

~ctto

Overshare

Posted by Flying Free Now

Reasons we overshare after experiencing abuse:

• We feel we have to justify and defend who we are - our thoughts, our life, our choices, our feelings.
• We believe we are inherently unlikeable and we are trying to prove that we are really ok.
• We feel constantly misunderstood or that we cannot explain ourselves properly (due to gaslighting) so we overcompensate
• We believe when people get to know us they will reject us so we may as well get the inevitable out of the way.

From thepersonalgrowth.project

Winter

Shared by Jenny Rhine from Serendipity Corner

Plants and animals don't fight the winter; they don't pretend it's not happening and attempt to carry on living the same lives that they lived in the summer. They prepare. They adapt. They perform extraordinary acts of metamorphosis to get them through. 

Winter is a time of withdrawing from the world, maximizing scant resources, carrying out the acts of brutal efficiency and vanishing from sight; but that's where the transformation occurs.

Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but its crucible. 

Once we stop wishing it were summer, winter can be a glorious season in which the world takes on a sparse beauty and even the pavements sparkle.

It's a time of reflection and recuperation, for slow replenishment, for putting your house in order.

Doing those deeply unfashionable things; slowing down, letting your spare time expand, getting enough sleep, resting...

Don't deserve

 Posted by Alan Sinnott

Thank you for hurting me to the point that I realized I don't deserve someone like you.

I was so down on you that even if you fooled me a hundred times, I would still love you with everything I have. I've been treated poorly, disrespected, and betrayed over and over again. But I was so in love with you that I was willing to turn myself blind to all the bad things that you had done to me. I was literally the one who would willingly die for you. No matter how painful it was to love you, I would always choose to stay. I was so stupid to think that you would also do the same for me. I was so stupid to think that you could love me right too.

But today I want to say thank you for hurting me again. Not because I deserve it, but because I realized that I do not deserve any less. That I do not deserve you. I do not deserve all the heartbreaks that you gave me. It took me a lot of pain before I realized that I'm already tired of putting up with something that I do not deserve. I've cried a lot, hated myself for so long, and told myself that I wasn't enough so many times - all because I wasn't treated properly. You robbed my happiness and self-respect from me, yet I was still there for you, thinking that you were the only one who could make me happy.

Thank you for making me realize that you are not good for me. Thank you for hurting me so badly that I learned to realize that I deserve better.

Yourself

Posted by Chairty Rosen

Because you didn't want to lose him, you lost yourself in

the process.

You became a girl who endured mistreatment, telling 

yourself, "I'm used to it."

You accepted being unappreciated, convincing yourself,

"It's okay."

You learned to downplay your worth, saying, "I'm fine."

You let others put you last, reacting with resigned, "It's

whatever."

You allowed yourself to  be taken for granted, responding

with, "Everything's okay."

You lived in unhappiness, assuring everyone, "I'm going to

be fine."

If you're reading this now, it's time to realize: no guy is

worth losing yourself over.

No one is worth your suffering at the cost of your

happiness.

So, let go of that old self.

Focus on YOU!

Reclaim your life and get yourself back!

Bare minimum

 From The Bat Wolf

I came across a quote that said,

"Just because I don't require 

much doesn't mean I deserve

the bare minimum."

And that hit different.

Affect

You let your bad days affect you too much.

You don't let your good days affect you enough.

Fix that.

Return with water

 The most beautiful souls

are the ones who walk

out of the fire and then

return with water for

those who are still in it.

The wind

How can I blame the wind for the

mess it made, if it was me who

opened the window.

~Nayaaziza

Good rule

#1 RULE:

Never get so attached that you accept being disrespected, used, lied to, or cheated on.

Start calling

Start calling yourself 

healed, happy,

whole, blessed,

and prosperous.

Stop talking to God

about how big your

mountains are, and 

start talking to your

mountains about

how big your God is!

Abandoned

 Whoever abandoned you in the middle of the ocean 

has no right to know

what the sharks did to you

or how you managed it to the shore. 

Change people

You can't change people, and you shouldn't have to. You can't shape someone into who you wish they were, nor can you rush their growth. You can't ask them to be anything other than their true self, but you can change your expectations.

You can decide how much of yourself you give, where your energy flows, and what you choose to hold onto. You can draw boundaries that protect your peace and shift your focus to what truly matters. You can practice the art of acceptance, embracing the freedom that comes with letting go.

You can choose to surround yourself with those who uplift you, who recognize your worth and cherish your heart. You can invest in relationships that nourish your soul, rather than drain it. You can set the standard for how you wish to be treated and walk away from those who fall short.

You can also remind yourself that it's okay to be disappointed, but not to lose yourself in the process. It's okay to want more for someone, but not at the expense of your own well-being. You can learn to find peace in the space between what is and what could be.

In the end, when you reflect on the paths you've walked and the ones you've left behind you'll see that the most beautiful transformations occur not by changing others, but by changing your own heart.

~Worth Sharing, Amanda Oleander

The bond

 On the days when you miss the bond,

please remember the disrespect.

Next chapter

 this next chapter is called

"i deserve this"

Everyone

 If you want to make the wrong decision, ask everyone. ~Naval

Being alone

Being alone never felt right.

Sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right.

~Charles Bukowski

Toxic to yourself

 7 signs you are 

toxic to yourself

1. You apologize a lot, even when the fault is not yours.
2. You keep hanging out with people who treat you badly.
3. You keep checking your phone for messages when there are none.
4. You take criticism too personally.
5. You keep comparing yourself with others.
6. You sleep a lot to avoid life.
7. You agree with other people's opinion even when you have a different one.

Strongest

 The strongest man you know is a first born daughter.

Broken home

I hate when people refer to single parents

having a "broken home"

It's not.

You know what is a broken home. Having

a house full of people who shouldn't be

together and bleed that toxic energy into

their kids.

THAT is a broken home.

Queen

The girl you once were, heal for her.

The woman you are now, protect her.

The queen you were created to be, fight for her.

~Morgan Richard Olivier

Grown

This older lady just said to me you date at the level of your own self esteem and maturity.

No grown woman tolerates games and no grown man plays them. WOW

Not willing to fix

Most men are not running away from a great woman.

They are running away from parts of themselves they are not willing to fix to deserve her.

You decide

 Posted by Dave Ramsey

You get to decide what you tolerate in your life.

My friend Dr. Henry Cloud wrote an excellent book on this topic called Necessary Endings. When is it necessary to end a job? A business? A relationship? It's when there's no hope in your mind that things are going to get better.

Top tier

A man who updates you because he knows how you overthink

while waiting for him is a top tier and green flag energy.

Let it starve

 I've learned that

the best way to end

something is to

let it starve. No response,

no action, no altercations,

just don't feed it.

That's where the true

power lies.

Strong man

Only a strong man can handle a strong woman.

A weak man will say she has attitude and unrealistic expectations.

Most women

Most women want

a man who's already successful.

But a strong woman will be part

of his struggle, survive it, succeed

together, and build an empire.

Two broken people

You tried manipulating me

While I tried healing you.

It's funny

Is it not?

How two broken people

Abuse differently;

One toward others 

And the other against themselves.

~The Bat Wolf

True color

 You see a person's true color

when you are no longer

beneficial to their life.

~Bob Marley

Less

 From rupi kaur

i didn't leave because

i stopped loving you

i left because the longer

i stayed the less

i loved myself

Same effort

From love intertwined - celina maeve

my heart

doesn't understand

why you (can't)

(don't)

choose not to 

put in the same effort

as I do

~i don't feel the love

(The words in parentheses were crossed out)

Peace

wrong places.

the only reason

you're unhappy

is because you've been

searching for peace

in chaotic souls.

Easily offended

 The more easily you get offended, the less intelligent you actually are.

Positive

 If you are thinking positive during negative times, you've already won.

Darkest night

Even the darkest night will end

and the sun will rise.

~Victor Hugo

Valued

 Stay where your presence is valued

Better

 by Mark Anthony Poet

You deserve better.

Move on.

They blew it.

You know it.

They know it.

You can't fix

what isn't meant to be.

Move on.

Your heart needs rest.

Self respect

 Your self respect has to be stronger than your feelings.

What you lost

 From 90 Days of No Contact

Day 24

I hope one day

You realize what you lost

Breadcrumbs

By Morgan Pommells

Actual things I have said in therapy lately, as a trauma therapist (pt. 3):

"When you've been starved of love your whole life,

it's easy to mistake breadcrumbs for feasts."

Honest

People who have harmed you

will create false stories

around you, your experiences,

and your character. They are

doing this because in order to

be honest about who you are,

they would have to be honest

about what they've done.

Deeply

 Overthinkers feel everything so deeply that

they hurt themselves more than anyone else.

~Lakhan Nathawat

Speak

some people will

understand you

even when you don't speak.

and some will not

even when you speak

~THE RANDOM STORIES

Unlove

 I read somewhere:

"You keep forgiving someone

until you unlove them."

And I felt that.

Receive

 you deserve to receive the love

you gift to everyone else.

3 rules

I live by 3 simple rules:

Love needs action.

Trust needs proof.

Sorry needs change.

Quiet lion

 A quiet lion is more

dangerous than a

barking dog.

Any longer

Do me a favor,

stay away from me,

if you don't have good intentions.

I don't have it in me

any longer,

to give my love

to those who only abuse it.

~YoungNakedSoul

Fighting for

Normalize letting people go

when it's no longer healthy,

not everything is worth fighting for.

~I Was Never Broken Vol. 2

You can

You're still here, you know;

under all the messy things,

under the stress, the anxiety, the sadness,

you're still you.

Come up for some air;

there are bright skies up here.

You have to pull yourself up;

I know like you feel like you can't,

but you can.

I believe in you,

more than you know.

~Pillow Thoughts

Actions speak

People may not

always tell you how they

feel about you, but their

actions will speak for

themselves.

Pay attention.

Have everything

the day you have everything

i hope you remember

when you had nothing

~rupi kaur

Never lies

I no longer listen to what people say,

I just watch what they do.

Behavior never lies.

~Winston Churchill

Not afraid

Courage doesn't mean

you don't get afraid.

Courage means you 

don't let fear stop you.

Really quiet

I don't get mad anymore, I just get really quiet.

Why keep talking when they are not really hearing you

Reactions

 A narcissist wants

to convince you that your

reactions to their actions

are the problem, when in

fact, without their actions,

there would be no 

reactions.

Attachment

 Attachment is the very

opposite of love. Love says, "I

want you to be happy."

Attachment says, "I want you

to make me happy."

~Tenzin Palmo

Better

 When we love, we always strive to become

better than we are. When we strive to

become better than we are, everything

around us becomes better too.

~Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

You know

 Deep down. You know exactly

where you stand with someone.

Hope blurs the lines a little bit but,

you know.

Played themselves

 They might think they played you. But in reality, they only played themselves out of a decent person.

Best versions

 We all wasted the best versions of ourselves on people who didn't care at all.

Hard step

Trusting God is a hard step to take,

but it's also the only step that leads to anything good.

Red flags

 Red flags aren't always about the other

person. When you start lying to yourself

about who they are so that you don't 

have to face losing them, that's the flag

to pay attention to.

~Julian Turecki

Power of hope

yes,

not everything went 

as planned. in fact

it all fell apart.

terribly.

spectacularly.

no problem.

the pieces are all

still there. i can

put them back together 

in a new way.

that's the power

of hope.

~topher kearby

Flow

but darling

you are a river.

the rocks will

break you.

the valleys will bend you.

but you will never

stop.

because that is what you do.

you flow.

~vinati

Happiest people

 The happiest people

forgive, forget, love, help, care, smile.

The happiest people

are the givers, not the takers.

~Sahiba

Do better

Do the best you can until you know better.

Then when you know better,

do better.

~Maya Angelou

Simple

We make life more complicated than it needs to be,

Jesus makes it simple.

Okay

"I'm not okay." said Bear

"And that's okay." said Rabbit.

Read other way

Laziness kills ambition

Anger kills wisdom

Fear kills dreams

Ego kills growth

Jealousy kills peace

Doubt kills confidence

Now read that right to left.

Never

 Have a heart that never hardens,

and a temper that never tires,

and a touch that never hurts.

~Charles Dickens

Detachment

Some people will notice

your reaction of detachment;

yet, never consider how their actions

led to that decision.

~Morgan Richard Olivier

Not the same

 You replied when you had time.

I replied when I saw your message.

We are not the same.

Quiet

 If I'm arguing, I care. If I'm quiet, I'm done.

Unconditional

 Unconditional love

does not mean

unconditional tolerance.

Unlearn that.

~Thinking Minds

Selling himself

 Many a man thinks he is

buying pleasure, when he is 

really selling himself to it.

~Benjamin Franklin

Fully fighting

 You can be full fighting for

your life & people will only

notice that you're not

showing up for them the way

they want.

Give up

 Sometimes you gotta give up on

people. Not because you don't care

but because they don't

Cruelty

 Cruelty is all of out ignorance. If

you knew what was in store for you,

you wouldn't hurt anybody. Because

whatever you do comes back much

more forceful than you send it

out.

~Willie Nelson

Bleeding heart

No more apologies

for a bleeding 

heart

when the opposite

is no heart

at all.

Danger of losing

our humanity

must be met with

more humanity.

The most

 Be

kind

to unkind people.

They need it the

most.

In between

 Beginnings are usually scary,

and endings are usually sad, but

it's everything in between that

makes it all worth living.

~Bob Marley

Sugar and spice

 SUGAR AND SPICE

(an ode to strong women)

They taught us that we had to look pretty

That we had to be gentle, accepting and nice

Not too bold

Not too contrary

Made of sugar and spice

But when I was soft and gentle

I was so gluttonously devoured

By jackals who seemed to prefer me

Meek

Obliging

Unempowered

So I changed the thematic

And broke every rule in this game

Now I have tea parties with lions

While wolves holler my name

~Nirvashnee Naidu

Flowers of the Earth

Feel loved

 I just heard someone say,

"Just because you love me

doesn't mean I feel loved

by you." WOW.

Contented

He who is not contented with 

what he has would not be

contented with what he would

like to have.

~Socrates

My body

Today I asked my body what she needed,

Which is a big deal

Considering my journey of

Not Really Asking That Much.

I thought she might needs more water.

Or protein.

Or greens.

Or yoga.

Or supplements.

Or movement.

But as I stood in the shower

Reflecting on her stretch marks,

Her roundness where I would like flatness,

Her softness where I would like firmness,

All those conditioned wishes

That form a bundle of

Never-Quite-Right-Ness,

She whispered very gently:

"Could you just love me like this?"

~Hollie Holden

Colorblind

 From dining with the enemy

i was never 

colorblind

to the red flags

i just hoped

i was wrong

With me

From please love me at my worst

i just want to be in love with somebody 

who wants to be in love with me

To ask

 Every woman's 

love language

is not having to ask

Wrong time

And in his still silence,

I realized,

I liked him.

Maybe I even loved him.

But that didn't entitle me

to have him.

my right person, our wrong time

Ignoring

Ignoring your partner's needs and still expecting a happy relationship, 

is like ignoring your plants need water and still expecting a beautiful garden.

Position

If I'm in a position where I can help, I will. Every time.

~Christopher Ferry

My people

I used to tolerate a lot because I didn't want to lose people, but now I realize those aren't my people.

Set boundaries.

Deserve better

Sometimes the person you want

doesn't deserve you, so the

Universe will try to convince you

to love yourself, respect yourself,

to commit to yourself, because you

deserve better, and you are better.

Trust the divine plan. Don't force

yourself to fit in where you don't belong.

No one prouder

There is no one prouder

than the person you once were.

The person who struggled

to speak their truth and protect their peace.

The person who so badly wanted the love

of others that they neglected to show love to themselves.

The person who saw the good in everyone else

yet couldn't identify, appreciate, and act upon

the goodness that always resided within them.

They are rooting for you, because unlike everyone else on this

earth, they know the extent of what you felt, all you overcame,

and all you had to lose to gain the wisdom, empathy, and

awareness you have now.

~Morgan Richard Olivier

(There is someone prouder than me...God)

That day

THAT DAY

Right in the middle of our life, an ordinary day, the

unthinkable happened. Everything went from ordinary

to chaotic and there I stood, in the mess of it all,

knowing there will now forever be a before and an after.

That day.

~Sharyn Marsh, Leave Her Wild

Love small

i don't know how to love small

so if i can't love you a lot

i can't love you at all

Let

Let July be July

and let August be August.

And let yourself

just be

even in uncertainty.

You don't have to fix everything.

You don't have to solve everything.

And you can still find peace

and grow

in the wild

of changing things.

Deeply afraid

Yelling and a 

quick temper is

the language of 

the deeply afraid.

Behind anger is fear.

Let me suffer

I will never forget how you let me suffer

while you're enjoying the presence of other people.

Last act

For my last act of love, I'll let you go

because you weren't ready for us to work

and you weren't going to admit that.

Some

Some people love you.

Some people love to be around you.

Some people love what you can do for them.

Understand the difference.

Reason not to

 There's never a reason not to chase the ones who make you feel something.

Confused

 by parm k.c.

be careful.

someone who is confused

about what they want

can cause you to become confused

about what you're worth.

Best of me

 REPEAT AFTER ME:

I'm allowed to do what's best 

for me, even if it upsets people

The best you could

You did the best you could

with what you knew at the time.

Don't let new wisdom

lead you to condemn yourself

over old struggles.

Forgive yourself and move forward.

~Morgan Richard Olivier

So damaged

 From Pillow Thoughts

You've become so damaged

That when someone

Wants to give you

What you deserve

You have no idea

How to respond

Lyrics

If she sends you a song pay attention to every lyric.

She's talking to you.

Stronger

 A strong woman stands up

for herself. A stronger woman

stands up for everyone else.

Sovereign

If God is not sovereign over the bad

things that happen, they happen for

no reason.

If God is sovereign over the bad

things that happen, we can be

confident that He is working even

those things for His glory and our

good.

Lies

Men don't realize it's

unnecessary to lie to women.

If she likes you enough, she

will lie to herself.

Not about you

A person's emotional

response to your need

isn't about you.

You could be the best communicator in the world

asking for a basic need, yet people will always

perceive you through the lens of their own

experiences, value systems, and emotional capacity.

How people perceive your needs isn't about you.

Remember that.

Who you are

Do things

for people

not because 

of who they

are, or what

they do

in return,

but because

of who

you are.

Energy

From Stardust Poetry

Be the type of energy that no 

matter where you go, you always

add value to the spaces and the

lives around you.

Worth

Just in case no one tells you today.

You are worth keeping, worth

committing to, worth making a priority,

and worth loving.

The problem

The problem in the

marriage doesn't try to 

solve the problem. So if

you're desperately trying

to solve the problem,

you're not the 

problem.

~Natalie Hoffman

Survival

This pretty much sums up my weekends lately when I can't get off the couch...

You are not lazy, unmotivated,

or stuck. After years of living

your life in survival mode,

you are exhausted.

There's a difference.

~Nakeia Homer

Laziness

 Laziness has some people

believing they have an unfair life.

If you do nothing, you will get

nothing.

~3 am thoughts

Forgive

 A person who cannot

forgive has forgotten

how much God has

forgiven them.

~3 am thoughts

Powerful

From Chief Red Eagle

Angry people want you to see how powerful they are.

Loving people want you to see how powerful you are.

Lose you

When your intentions are pure,

you don't lose anybody,

they lose you.

~Nipsey

Bravest thing

"Pooh, what's the bravest thing you've ever said?" asked Piglet.

"Help" said Pooh.

One day

 God created heaven and earth

in six days

Who's to say He can't

change your life in one.

STAY FAITHFUL

Your potential

 People who repeatedly attack

your confidence and self-esteem

are quite aware of your potential,

even if you are not.

~Wayne Gerard Trotman

Heals himself

 Until a man heals himself, he will

be toxic to every woman who tries

to love him.

Motivation

 When there is no consequence for

poor work ethic, and no reward for

good work ethic, there is no motivation.

Marriage advice

THE BEST MARRIAGE ADVICE EVER

• Choose to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.
• Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling and when possible, try to keep your phone off when you're together with your spouse.
• Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the "currency of relationships" so consistently invest time in your marriage.
• Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage and remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.
• Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy, and even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.
• In every argument, remember that there won't be a "winner" and a "loser." You are partners in everything so you'll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.
• Remember that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It's usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak. Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to make a strong marriage, but it's nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!
• Remember that marriage isn't 50-50, divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It's not splitting everything in half but both partners giving everything they've got!
• Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you've given your best to everyone else.
• Learn from other people, but don't feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else's. God's plan for your life is masterfully unique!
• Don't put your marriage on hold while you're raising your kids or else you'll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.
• Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.
• Never lie to each other. Lies break trust and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.
• When you've made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, "I was wrong. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."
• When your husband/wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly which will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You should be quick to say, "I love you. I forgive you. Let's move forward."
• Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important than your schedule.
• Model the kind of marriage that will make your sons want to grow up to be good husbands and your daughters want to grow up to be good wives.
• Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places.
• Always wear your wedding ring. It will remind you that you're always connected to your spouse and it will remind the rest of the world that you're off limits!
• Connect into a community of faith. A good church can make a world of difference in your marriage and family.
• Pray together. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it.
• When you have to choose between saying nothing or saying something mean to your spouse, say nothing every time!
• Never consider annulment as an option. Remember that a "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

Current trouble

How is God using this current trouble?

1. To test the strength of our faith.
2. To humble us.
3. To wean us from earthly things.
4. To call us to heavenly hope.
5. To reveal what we truly love.
6. To help others in trial.
7. To bring himself glory.

~John MacArthur

Nothing whatever

 Nothing whatever, whether

great or small, can happen to a

believer without God's ordering

and permission. There is no such

thing as "chance," "luck" or

"accident" in the Christian's

journey through this world. All

is arranged and appointed by

God, and all things are "working

together" for the believer's 

good.

~J.C. Ryle

(Side note: For some reason, I have a hard time wrapping my head around this. It's both comforting to know that nothing happens without God's involvement but also terrifying at the same time)

Entitled

 There isn't a single person

on this planet who is

entitled to treat you badly.

Remember that.

Defeated me

 From Philosophy Insights

I traded my borders to fill all of your pain into my life. I gave up my peace to calm your chaos. I forgot my worth, so you didn't have to change. I forfeited the right to feel my pain, because it was too much for you to carry. I erased the idea of being loved because you said you're incapable. I stopped questioning because answering wasn't worth your effort. I surrendered my fight to be understood because you defeated me before understanding me.

~ANANYOMOUS

-- A. Starr (?)

Alone

 It's beautiful to be alone.

To be alone does not

mean to be lonely.

It means the mind is not 

influenced and contaminated

by society.

~J Krishnamurti

A means

 People who cannot love other

people, start loving money because

money is a means to possess things.

~Osho

Because of you

You took her heart,

ruined her trust, and

tainted her views on love.

I am not saying that you are fully 

responsible,

because she must learn to get up on her

own strength,

but her knees are weak because of you.

Not because you swept her off her feet

but because you pushed her to fall into

the worst kinds of things.

Don't underestimate

 Ruth in the Bible went

from gleaning in the field 

to owning the field. Don't

underestimate how fast

God can turn things 

around.

Better

 Risking is better than regretting

Perspective

By Randy Alcorn

Prosperity theology claims that God's love causes Him to withhold suffering from His children. The Bible, on the other hand, insists that God's love empowers His children to live gracefully and gratefully with their suffering. We do not testify to the world that we suffer less; we testify that God empowers us to face suffering with perspective. "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as  you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." (1 Peter 4:12-13).

We do not testify to the world

that we suffer less; we testify that

God empowers us to face

suffering with  perspective.

Sabotage

 A man can meet an absolutely perfect

lover who is ready to go the distance

with him. Yet no matter how head-over-

heels in love they are together, if he has

not gone the distance for himself by 

facing his shadow and healing his

wounds, he will inevitably sabotage their

relationship.

Then?

When she brings it up once...you say

she's complaining.

When she brings it up twice...you say

she's nagging.

When she cries about it...

you say she's being too sensitive.

My good friend, let me ask you this:

When she leaves, what will she be then? 

Enough

 There's a time to be a nice

person and there's a time to

say enough is enough.

~TheOldWords

imagine

imagine being loved

the way you love.

~s.colinson

I pray

 I pray because I believe

in the power of prayer.

I pray because I have no

doubt that God has answered

my prayers. I pray because

God allowed me to wake up

to see another day. No

matter what others think

or say, I will pray.

Positive people

Positive people

are not ignoring

the darkness of this world

they have dragged themselves

painfully

into the light

and are choosing

to share it

with you.

~Donna Ashworth

Grown man

A woman should never be

struggling financially, spiritually,

insecurely or emotionally with a 

grown man laying next to her.

Take note

From A Woman's Soul

Men, take note...

When a woman stops getting jealous, stops questioning, doesn't text first, seems unconcerned about your actions, or no longer asks about the other women in your life, accepting everything with an "its okay" or "I'm not upset", just know that last tear has dropped and she no longer cares what happens.

A woman does not make noise when she's leaving you.

She made noise before when she wanted to stay, but you didn't listen.

One day

 Posted by William Forcier 

My mom did not sleep. She felt exhausted. She was irritable, grumpy, and bitter. She was always sick until one day, suddenly, she changed.

One day, my dad said to her:

-I've been looking for a job for three months and I haven't found anything. I'm going to have a few beers with friends.

My mom replied:

-It's okay.

My brother said to her:

-Mom, I'm doing poorly in all subjects at the University.

My mom replied:

-Okay, you will recover, and if you don't do well, you repeat the semester, but you pay the tuition.

My sister said to her:

-Mom, I smashed the car.

My mom replied:

-Okay daughter, take it to the car shop and find out how to pay and while they fix it, get around by bus or subway.

Her daughter-in-law said to her:

-Mother-in-law, I came to spend a few months with you.

My mom replied:

-Okay, settle in the living room couch and look for some blankets in the closet.

All of us gathered worried to see these reactions coming from Mom.

We suspected that she had gone to the doctor and that she was prescribed some pills called "I don't give a damn..." Perhaps she was overdosing on these!

We then proposed to do an "intervention" with my mother to remove her from any possible addiction she had to some anti-tantrum medication.

But then...she gathered us around her and my mom explained:

"It took me a long time to realize that each person is responsible for their life. It took me years to discover that my anguish, anxiety, depression, courage, insomnia and my stress, do not solve your problems but aggravate mine. I am not responsible for the actions of anyone and it's not my job to provide happiness but I am responsible for the reactions I express to that. Therefore I came to the conclusion that my duty to myself is to remain calm and let each one of you solve what corresponds to you.

I have taken courses in yoga, meditation, miracles, human neurolinguistic programming, and in all of them, I found a common denominator in them all...

I can only control myself, you have all the necessary resources to solve your own problems despite how hard they may be. My job is to pray for you, love on you, and encourage you but it's up to YOU to solve them and find your happiness.

I can only give you my advice if you ask me and it depends on you to follow it or not. There are consequences, good or bad, to your decisions and YOU have to live (with) them.

So from now on, I cease to be the receptacle of your guilt, the laundress of your remorse, the advocate of your faults, the wall of your lamentations, the depositary of your duties, who should solve your problems or spare a tire every time to fulfill your responsibilities.

From now on, I declare all independent and self-sufficient adults.

Everyone at my mom's house was speechless.

From that day on, the family began to function better because everyone in the house knew exactly what it was that they needed to do.

For some of us, this is hard because we've grown up being caregivers and feeling responsible for others. As moms and wives, we are fixers of all things. We never want our loved ones to go through difficult things or to struggle. We want everyone to be happy.

But, the sooner we take that responsibility off our shoulder and onto each loved one, the better we are preparing them to be responsible.

We are not here on earth to be everything to everyone. Stop putting that pressure on yourself.