Look good...

Posted by Jennifer Rhine Williams

from an Instagram post by Sarah Nicole Landry

Years ago, I listened to a well-intended man speak on how he was on a "look good naked" diet. He went on to explain his desire to be aesthetically pleasing for his wife by making his body thinner and fitter, to look good naked.

It's amazing to me how some things are said so casually, yet in your mind they reveal themselves like a gas leak, slowly poisoning your thoughts.

And that's exactly what happened to me that day. A slow leak.

I remember sitting there, listening and feeling like it was over for me. I was 225 lbs., had birthed and breastfed 3 children. My body showed for it.

In the years to come it didn't matter how thin or fit I would come to be. "Look good naked" felt like an impossible standard placed on me in today's society.

Sure, I could look good dressed up. I could wear T-shirts in the bedroom, or be laying down just so. Pillows placed strategically. Thought put into every single move. Just be covered. Hide.

Nakedness was not something I looked forward to; it was something I feared.

And let me stop and say now that you don't owe anyone your nakedness. You really don't. Your body is forever your choice. No matter the relationship status.

But over the last few years I've slowly allowed myself to be seen. To myself first, and then to a man whose children these were not. With scars and the signs of the life and the nourishment that my body gave those children present and in sight.

And I realized, in all this guilt and shame in feeling I had to "look good naked", I had missed the entire point of nakedness.

A complete vulnerability, connection, intimacy. With oneself, and if chosen, another.

I had sold myself short.

With these gas leaks in my mind, I was missing the experience and gift of intimacy and connection by focusing on LOOKING good instead of FEELING good.

Missing how worthy I ALWAYS was of it.

Because I was always more than my body.
All stripped away, I see that now.
I can see that I was always more.
A feel good naked truth.

His gates

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 100:4-5
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.
For the Lord is good;
His mercy is everlasting,
And His truth endures to all generations.

Walk in Him

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Colossians 2:6-7
As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.

Whatever you do

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Be thankful

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Colossians 3:15
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body, and be thankful.

Know why

from Toby Mac

by Adrian Rogers

You don't have to know why when you know who.

Sorry

God, I am so sorry for the way I complain about circumstances.
Please forgive me for my bad attitude when things don't go my way.
I know you have a beautiful plan for my life, and have already showered me with more blessings than I can count. Amen.

Do not lean

When the Bible says, "Do not lean on your own understanding,"
the Bible is being serious.
Your heart is deceitful,
your emotions fluctuate,
your understanding does not see the overall, big picture.
God never lies, God never changes, God knows all.
Trust Him.

Than you

You are stronger than you know.
More capable than you ever dreamed.
And you are loved more than you could possibly imagine.

Give thanks

from Toby Mac

Many people give thanks to God when He gives.
Job gave thanks when He took.

Figured out

The Bible never once says, "Figure it out."
But over and over it says, "Trust God."
He's already got it all figured out.

You and God

What if your struggle is simply God's way of saying, "I miss you"? It's time to slow down and go to the Father, and lay your burdens down at His feet. No more running from God. No more trying to fight by yourself. No more trying to please man. Just you and God together.

Preparing you

God is preparing you, not punishing you.
Trust His plan, not your pain.

Blessings

Abundant blessings come your way when you are being a blessing.

Undone

from Toby Mac

by Elisabeth Elliot

To pray, "Thy will be done,"
I must be willing,
if the answer requires it,
that my will be undone.

Survivors

from Flying Free

by Darlene Ouimet

Survivors of any and all abuse become very good at anticipating moods of others, looks, actions; all of it in an effort to survive. Believing that if we can be agreeable, be compliant, and loving, do things how they want, that we will be safe. This becomes our way of life.

The Helper

Some people aren't good at asking for help because they're so used to being "the helper."

Throughout their life they've experienced an unbalanced give and take, so their instinct is usually "I'll figure it out on my own." The self-reliance is all they've ever known.

Later roles

from Toby Mac
by Louie Giglio

God is using your present
circumstances to make you
more useful for later roles
in His unfolding story.

Be grateful

by Toby Mac

Be grateful for the wound that pushes you toward God.

Trouble and anguish

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 119:143
Trouble and anguish have overtaken me,
Yet your commandments are my delights.

Suffering

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

1 Peter 3:18
Christ's Suffering and Ours
For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit.

Can't get enough

You will never be too much for someone who can't get enough of you.

Surprised

Psalm 18:16-19
But me He caught-reached all the way from sky to sea;
He pulled me out of that ocean (of despair),
that enemy chaos,
the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved - surprised to be loved!

NKJV:
He sent from above, He took me;
He drew me out of many waters.
He delivered me from my strong enemy,
From those who hated me,
For they were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
But the Lord was my support.
He also brought me into a broad place;
He delivered me because He delighted in me.

Life to live over

If I Had My Life to Live Over
by Erma Bombeck (I've always loved her)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have just bought anything because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or wasn't guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of willing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside of me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle...

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would have never said, "Later...now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's", more "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it and really see it, live it and never give it back...

Stop sweating the small stuff!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us...

Include/exclude

At the end of the day, I'd rather be excluded for who I include, than be included for who I exclude.

Missed myself

I missed myself.
I'm glad she's coming back.

Whispers

Grief shows up for many reasons, in many moments, in many shapes and forms and experiences.
Grief whispers, "Love lived here."

My own note in regards to the last line: It still does

The day you left me

Since the day you left me, I realized that in grieving, one never heals from the pain of losing a loved one. I have just learned to live one day at a time with a heartache that has become a part of me.

She tried

She tried talking to you, but you won't listen.
She's cried herself to sleep at night,
but you're not paying attention.
She's tried everything in her power to get you to show her that you still care.
The sad part is - you may not see it until she's no longer there.

The world

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

1 John 2:15-16
Do Not Love the World
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-is not of the Father but is of the world.

Snow

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Job 37:5-6
God thunders marvelously with His voice; He does great things which we cannot comprehend. For He says to the snow, "Fall on the earth;" Likewise to the gentle rain and the heavy rain of His strength.

Never been a day

There has never been a day when God has panicked and thought - she's ruined everything.

A woman's soul

If a man loves a woman's soul, he'll end up loving one woman, but if he loves a woman's face, all the women in the world won't satisfy him.

A day

Never regret a day in your life:
good days give happiness,
bad days give experience,
worst days give lessons,
and best days give memories.

Rewires

from Flying Free

by Ryan North

Our brains are wired for connection, but trauma rewires them for protection. That's why healthy relationships are difficult for wounded people.

The Merton Prayer

This was shared by Jill in the prayer group from the Sunday night Bible Study

The Merton Prayer
by Thomas Merton

My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though
I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

After the storm

from Flying Free

After the Storm

They were in the galleys of the clouds, roaring and rowing the menacing gloom across the beaming, hopeful expanse. Unsolicited and enraged, they pelted her with thunderous labels:

"Toxic"

"Unstable"

"Unworthy"

  The unwarranted lightning which they struck her only reflected their own corruption. Her unrelenting trust and faith were rendered irreparable by those charlatans who called themselves leaders. They despised her inexhaustible optimism and radiating harmony, so they lacerated her soul, barbarously slashed away her dignity, and discarded her as if she were filth. Their opaque clouds of destruction and hatred smothered her once-ferocious gleam of passion.

   Then, the rain fell swiftly. The torrents of tears lasted for years. She and her loved ones were flooded with injustice and pain. 

She was drowning.

   Even so, she sustained those diminishing embers of aspiration. She endured the unyielding storms. Those meager flames, her tearful smiles, and her unconditional love were often the only sparks igniting joy within her home. With tenacity, she stood firm.

   Years later, she progresses toward healing and revival. Her sparkle has returned, and she is unbelievably radiant.

   Those calloused casuists have not yet seen her again, but they will. When they creep out from their dastardly fortresses, they will search the ground for remnants of her trampled optimism.

   Nevertheless, they will not find her there. They will lift their eyes and discover that she resides above them. Just as a rainbow glimmers after the storm, she will emerge triumphant and renewed despite their hostility. Her illustrious colors will overwhelm the sky and vanquish her agony. They will have no choice but to describe her as she truly is:

"Undefeatable"

"Flourishing"

"Worthy"

Some more

Thank you for the songs last night...I knew that was you

I will love you until the moment I pass from this existence to the next,
and then I will find you again and love you some more.