Irreplaceable

 No lie...some women are

irreplaceable. Like the

things she does for you and

the feelings she had and

showed you...you may

never experience it again.

Know them

Know the red flags

A person doesn't have to only drain you with arguments and

fights. They can drain you with lack of communication, lack of

trust, lack of empathy, lack of apologizing, lack of

acknowledgment and lack of fulfilling your love language.

Know the red flags.

It's not always loud and chaotic; sometimes it's the quiet

neglect that drains you the most. The lack of effort, the

unspoken words, the absence of empathy - it all chips away at

the connection. It's those small, overlooked actions (or lack of 

them) that show the real red flags. Pay attention to how they

show up, not just in words but in consistent actions. It's about

being valued.

Beg

 You disrespect yourself

When you beg someone for bare minimum things like:

• Love
• Attention
• Affection
• Support
• Reciprocation, etc.

Don't do that to yourself.

Never lower your standards to keep someone in your 

life. When you beg for basic things, you diminish your

own sense of worth and self-respect. Love and 

attention should be freely given, not earned through

begging. Invest your energy in those who meet you

halfway and appreciate you fully.

Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything

that makes you question your value.

Can't love you

 He Can't Love You...

One of the most disappointing things that you,

as a woman, could ever go through is to

fall in love with a man that can't

love and respect you because he hasn't 

learned to love and respect himself yet.

~Mr. Amari Soul

Effect

Posted by BookPlug

Here are ten lessons from The Absent Father Effect on Daughters by Susan E. Schwartz, which explores the impact of absent or emotionally unavailable fathers on daughters and how they can heal and develop a strong sense of self.

1. Understand the "Absent Father" Concept: Absence doesn't only mean physical absence; emotional unavailability or neglect also leaves deep emotional scars. This book shows how daughters of such fathers often feel unseen or misunderstood.
2. Impact on Self-Worth: Many daughters with absent fathers struggle with self-esteem and self-worth. Recognizing this impact is the first step to healing, as it allows one to understand the roots of self-doubt.
3. Seeking Validation: Daughters of absent fathers often seek validation from others, particularly in relationships. Schwartz encourages recognizing this tendency and finding ways to build internal validation instead.
4. Trust and Attachment Issues: A lack of secure father-daughter relationship can lead to issues with trust and attachment in adult relationships. Understanding this helps women work on building healthy attachment styles.
5. Self-Compassion as a Healing Tool: Developing self-compassion is crucial for daughters of absent fathers. It enables them to replace self-criticism with understanding and begin to heal from unmet needs.
6. Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Avoidance: Daughters often internalize emotional avoidance patterns. Consciously choosing vulnerability and openness can break this cycle and lead to more fulfilling relationships.
7. Recognize Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships: Some women expect partners to fulfill the emotional void left by their fathers. Schwartz encourages women to set realistic expectations and find fulfillment within themselves.
8. Healing Through Inner Work: Therapy, journaling, and self-reflection are essential for processing feelings of abandonment or rejection. This inner work allows daughters to reframe their experiences and heal.
9. Embracing the Power of Female Role Models: Schwartz suggests finding strong female role models or mentors to help daughters or absent fathers develop resilience, self-worth, and a sense of identity.
10. Reclaiming Personal Identity: The absence of a father can lead to identity struggles, but embracing personal interests, passions, and strengths helps build a strong, independent identity free from past trauma.

The Absent Father Effect on Daughters provides insights into the emotional challenges faced by daughters of absent fathers and empowers them with tools to heal and reclaim their sense of self.

Red flag

A red flag is a red flag.

You could lose many years of your great life ignoring this rule.

Maya Angelou said it beautifully: "When someone shows you who they are believe them."

So, in love, business and life, when you see (or sense) that someone has behavior that is concerning, avoid them. Wish them well on their path. And protect your peace.

Hold on

Posted by Brenda Fernandez

May you get married to a man who will love you more than you love him. 

My mother once told me:

When you hold a man's hand and he makes your heart beat faster and he makes you feel giddy and excited, walk away from this man. He is not the man for you. If you hold a man's hand and he makes you feel warm, safe and secure, hold onto him.

Not doing anything

Posted by Larissa Rissy Roo

If they are not doing anything

to keep you,

then why are you fighting to stay?

Rediscover

Often, when a woman ends a long-term relationship, the man's first thoughts are:

"She must have found someone else" or "How could she just leave after all these years?"

What many men don't consider are the countless nights she went to bed feeling worthless because of his disrespect or broken promises to change.

They don't remember all the times she stood by his side when no one else did, or how she prayed for him to become a better person.

They don't think about how she always put everyone else's needs before their own.

They don't acknowledge how her friends and family urged her to leave, yet she stayed.

No, all that many men can focus on is, "How could she just walk away?"

The truth is, women don't suddenly wake up one day and decide to leave.

A man's actions, his words, and the way he makes her feel gradually add up, and eventually, the burden becomes too heavy to bear.

When she stops expressing her frustrations, stops pushing you to understand your perspective, it's not because she's given in - it's because she's planning her way out of the toxic situation.

She didn't leave to find someone else;

SHE LEFT TO REDISCOVER HERSELF.

Stay strong to all the women building the courage to know your worth.

Faithful

Being faithful in a relationship isn't just

about staying out of someone else's bed.

It's way deeper than that.

It's the texts you don't send, the flirty conversations

you don't entertain, and the decisions you make when

no one's watching.

Being faithful isn't just about avoiding the act of

cheating. It's about consciously removing yourself

from any situation that could potentially blur the lines.

It's about not seeking validation or attention from 

anyone outside the relationship. It's about not having

anything on your phone that you wouldn't want your 

partner to see. Being truly faithful is not just about 

physical monogamy. It's about emotional integrity.

Love them

 Posted by Jecris Suriben

Don't allow someone to treat you poorly just because you love them.

It doesn't matter if it's a friend, a family member, or even your partner. It doesn't matter how long you've known them or how nice they may have been to you in the past, you are allowed to call people out on their abusive behavior.

Set boundaries about what you are and are not willing to tolerate. You are allowed to vocalize how their abuse makes you feel. You are allowed to share those feelings and experiences with other people. And if necessary, you are allowed to leave and distance yourself.

You have every right to stand up and say, "I love you and I really want you to be a part of my life, but I can't continue to allow you to treat me this way. I can't continue to sacrifice my wellbeing for the sake of maintaining this connection.

So if things don't change, I'm going to have to cut you out of my life. Not because I don't care about you or respect you, but because I care about and respect myself.

~ctto

Overshare

Posted by Flying Free Now

Reasons we overshare after experiencing abuse:

• We feel we have to justify and defend who we are - our thoughts, our life, our choices, our feelings.
• We believe we are inherently unlikeable and we are trying to prove that we are really ok.
• We feel constantly misunderstood or that we cannot explain ourselves properly (due to gaslighting) so we overcompensate
• We believe when people get to know us they will reject us so we may as well get the inevitable out of the way.

From thepersonalgrowth.project

Winter

Shared by Jenny Rhine from Serendipity Corner

Plants and animals don't fight the winter; they don't pretend it's not happening and attempt to carry on living the same lives that they lived in the summer. They prepare. They adapt. They perform extraordinary acts of metamorphosis to get them through. 

Winter is a time of withdrawing from the world, maximizing scant resources, carrying out the acts of brutal efficiency and vanishing from sight; but that's where the transformation occurs.

Winter is not the death of the life cycle, but its crucible. 

Once we stop wishing it were summer, winter can be a glorious season in which the world takes on a sparse beauty and even the pavements sparkle.

It's a time of reflection and recuperation, for slow replenishment, for putting your house in order.

Doing those deeply unfashionable things; slowing down, letting your spare time expand, getting enough sleep, resting...

Don't deserve

 Posted by Alan Sinnott

Thank you for hurting me to the point that I realized I don't deserve someone like you.

I was so down on you that even if you fooled me a hundred times, I would still love you with everything I have. I've been treated poorly, disrespected, and betrayed over and over again. But I was so in love with you that I was willing to turn myself blind to all the bad things that you had done to me. I was literally the one who would willingly die for you. No matter how painful it was to love you, I would always choose to stay. I was so stupid to think that you would also do the same for me. I was so stupid to think that you could love me right too.

But today I want to say thank you for hurting me again. Not because I deserve it, but because I realized that I do not deserve any less. That I do not deserve you. I do not deserve all the heartbreaks that you gave me. It took me a lot of pain before I realized that I'm already tired of putting up with something that I do not deserve. I've cried a lot, hated myself for so long, and told myself that I wasn't enough so many times - all because I wasn't treated properly. You robbed my happiness and self-respect from me, yet I was still there for you, thinking that you were the only one who could make me happy.

Thank you for making me realize that you are not good for me. Thank you for hurting me so badly that I learned to realize that I deserve better.

Yourself

Posted by Chairty Rosen

Because you didn't want to lose him, you lost yourself in

the process.

You became a girl who endured mistreatment, telling 

yourself, "I'm used to it."

You accepted being unappreciated, convincing yourself,

"It's okay."

You learned to downplay your worth, saying, "I'm fine."

You let others put you last, reacting with resigned, "It's

whatever."

You allowed yourself to  be taken for granted, responding

with, "Everything's okay."

You lived in unhappiness, assuring everyone, "I'm going to

be fine."

If you're reading this now, it's time to realize: no guy is

worth losing yourself over.

No one is worth your suffering at the cost of your

happiness.

So, let go of that old self.

Focus on YOU!

Reclaim your life and get yourself back!

Bare minimum

 From The Bat Wolf

I came across a quote that said,

"Just because I don't require 

much doesn't mean I deserve

the bare minimum."

And that hit different.

Affect

You let your bad days affect you too much.

You don't let your good days affect you enough.

Fix that.

Return with water

 The most beautiful souls

are the ones who walk

out of the fire and then

return with water for

those who are still in it.

The wind

How can I blame the wind for the

mess it made, if it was me who

opened the window.

~Nayaaziza

Good rule

#1 RULE:

Never get so attached that you accept being disrespected, used, lied to, or cheated on.