Their loss

 By Antarix Nirvana

Never cease to be a good person just because people around you are taking advantage of your true self.

Remember, when you are a good person, you don't lose people; they lose you and that's not your loss, it's theirs.

Trauma

Trauma makes you tolerate a lot of shxx you don't deserve because you don't want to lose people. Healing makes you realize some people don't deserve to be in your life, no matter how much you love them.

~@Mind Tendencies - Synchronistic

On my own

By Alisa Lynn Valdes

My son's dad left me for his current wife.

I stayed single, raised my son alone.

When he was 15 I said I was glad he had his "other parents" to model a relationship because I couldn't.

My son said, "You taught me something more important, which is how to be happy on my own."

Show you

 Sometimes

you need to stop

seeing the good 

in people and

start seeing what

they show you.

@SpirituallyAround

Let it go

"Let it go,

let the sky

take it.

Let the water

carry it.

Let the earth

hold it.

Because you 

don't have to 

anymore."

~Victoria Erickson, Rhythms & Roads

Not selfish

You're not selfish

for wanting the same

energy and love you give

A privilege

It's time to start

making people

understand it's a

privilege to be in

your life.

Your heart

 It's okay if

your 

heart needs

more time

to accept what

your mind

already knows

Too amazing

 You are too amazing for someone who doesn't mind losing you. 

Treat you

People treat you 

exactly how they

feel about you.

Don't choose to

be blind to it.

~Vintage Vivids

Sick tragedy

It's such a sick tragedy to have such great chemistry with someone who cannot meet you halfway communication-wise. You can have so much passion, great conversation, humor and banter together and yet, their emotional maturity is nowhere to be found.

~ThirdEyeThoughts

When to leave

 From 3 am Thoughts

When there are more tears than smiles, leave.

When there are more fights than jokes, leave.

When it hurts more than it feels good, leave.

They don't have the right to destroy you just because you love them.

And loving them doesn't mean you have to stay.

Better

Things will be better with the right person. You won't have to remind them of how you want to be treated. You won't have to fight for their attention. You won't feel alone. You won't feel broken. Empty. As if something is missing. It'll be easy with the right person. Effortless. And it'll just feel right. You'll no longer feel insecure about the relationship. You'll no longer worry. It'll be beautiful. Memorable. And the wait will be worth it.  The right person will make you feel at home. And they will calm the storms in your heart. 

~r.m. drake

Owes us nothing

John the Baptist fully obeyed God,

and yet God still allowed him to be beheaded.

Pleasing God must be its own reward.

He owes us nothing.

Relatives

Relatives seem to appear over the holidays and quite often they are not well-received. They are certainly not perfect but I feel it is important to spend time with them. Most of them, especially your aunts and uncles, have know you for your WHOLE life. They know the stories of when you were born, when you were little, growing up, all of your milestones, etc. They have different stories and different memories of you than your parents and siblings. How special is that? 

No matter what their shortcomings may be or how you feel they have treated you (or mistreated you) in the past, it means a lot to show up when they're in town. When I think of the Hartmans, I know that it would mean a lot to Grandma and Grandpa that we still see each other and catch up. At the gathering at Aunt Phyllis' recently, it was fun to share stories and memories of Grandma. We just don't take the time out of our daily lives to do that on our own. They deserve to be remembered for the huge impact they had on all of us. (I just teared up writing this).

Relatives may seem nosy, but most of them just want to know what's going on in your lives and making sure you're doing okay. And how good does that make your parents look when you show up as well? Also there is often quite a delicious spread of family food favorites. We all need to set our selfishness aside and take a few hours out of our day to do this. It only happens once a year and all too soon that will be gone. Families are a gift from God. 

What we have

I've been realizing lately how much in life that we take for granted...

A sound mind. I think of some of my aunts and uncles who have suffered or are suffering from dementia. "They" (or what makes them "them") is not fully there anymore or not all the time anyway. Their spouse is left alone even before they physically die. Their spouse has to take on new duties and face a much different future than they imagined. Money can't cure that or buy it back. It's gone. 

A sound body. I thought of this when I saw a former co-worker from Target walking across the street with a walker and his wife helping him up the sidewalk. Everything changed for him. He can't do his job right now. His independence is gone and he is dependent on someone else. I'm sure this changed quickly for him, maybe even overnight or in a split second. 

On a much smaller scale, I remember when I had Covid and "getting ready" to leave the house wasn't an option without any energy to do so. Getting a goodnight's sleep, waking up to be able to brush my teeth, eat breakfast, pick out an outfit, put on make-up, do my hair, etc. was not going to happen those days. Now I do it everyday, sometimes begrudgingly, not realizing what a gift it is.

Even as I "age", I can't do as much as I used to without something in my body hurting. Things change and they change oh so quickly.

Daily provision. How about getting into a working, warm car and driving to a good job that I can perform on a daily basis. Being able to come home, make/eat dinner, do household tasks, run errands, etc... how much has to go into that even happening. Money for gas, money for groceries and other needed items. Not everyone has these privileges and they are privileges. 

New life. Being on the other side of a challenging marriage I never imagined being able to get out of. THRIVING on my own, establishing my own identity and rebuilding a beautiful life for myself on my terms and God's. Wow, just WOW!

Children at home. One of my kids walking in the door and being able to have a conversation with them. There is one less to do that with now and no one saw THAT coming. HEALING from that. On another level besides physical, some people have kids who don't talk to them at all. How much has to go into that type of relationship. It's not a given just because they're your kid.

Peace of mind. How easily that can be lost sometimes when something isn't "right". I'm thankful for the deeper kind that comes from being grounded in our unchanging Lord. So many circumstances used to take me down so easily. I am not totally immune from these, but recovery comes much quicker these days. I am so thankful for this. 

To paraphrase from the Bible, thanks be unto God for His unspeakable GIFT(S)!

Imperfections

My own thoughts (for once):

As a former self-labeled "perfectionist", I am recently learning to appreciate all of the imperfections in life...

The lights on the Christmas tree that aren't perfectly distributed.

The branches of that same tree that have noticeable "holes" or "gaps".

The typo on the laminated prayer card from the ladies' group that I chose to hold on to instead of trading it in for a corrected one.

The incorrect year on the birthday list for the missionary family at church, noticed because two of the kids' dates both say 2015 but they're not twins. Being able not to be so quick to point that out to the thoughtful person who put that together.

The slight slope on the back of a beautiful child's head who is oh-so-perfect in every other way.

Hanging the decorations on the porch randomly on purpose so I don't fret about keeping it all "even".

Not being so OCD about how I "speak my truth" when what's important is just saying it even if the person takes it the wrong way initially or gets mad. It doesn't mean that I don't love them. 

Focusing on my eyes instead of the under-eye circles.

Not fretting over all of the things that could be done/redone at home and being content when things just work or aren't leaking.

Appreciating my age and all that comes along with that instead of wishing I was younger. 

Being thankful that I have what I need for today and not worrying about next week or next month.

Not being so quick to defend myself when I'm misunderstood.

This is real life. It's full of imperfections no matter how hard we try. Peace comes when we learn to embrace that. We need to get used to things not going the way we want them to, knowing that God's way is always the best way whether we understand it now or not. He's got us!

More than once

If she mentions it more than once,

it's bothering her. Don't make her

always seem crazy or emotional 

for expressing herself and noticing

inconsistency. Listen.

Worn

You are worn and cracked

and dented. And that is 

okay, because I have

never heard of a 

clean and shiny sword

that won a war.

~Erin Van Vuren

Hanging

When you are hanging by a thread,

make sure it's the hem of His garment.

Disrespected boundaries

The answer to disrespected boundaries

is not a fight.

It's distance.

Always reward

 "Those who are gracious to the poor lend to the Lord, and the Lord will fully repay them." 

 ~Proverbs 19:17

In many ways, the mere act of being charitable is its own reward. God has blessed you to be a blessing toothers. When there's a need, find in your heart to sow a seed. God will always reward your acts of love.

Hitting a wall

 I told my friend that I'm emotionally

"hitting a wall" and she said

"Sometimes walls are there so we can

lean on them and rest."

I can't even begin to express how

much I really needed to hear that.

She always

And she always

said it with

honesty;

called a spade

a spade;

yet was never

able

to call herself

beautiful...

~Darrielle Cresswell 

Prepare

If you wish to be a warrior,

prepare to be broken.

If you wish to be an explorer,

prepare to get lost.

And if you wish to be a lover,

prepare to be both.

~Daniel Saint

Floundering

 By Elisabeth Elliot

Nothing touches me that does not come through the

hedge of God's will. He's in charge. We don't 

flounder around in a sea of pure chance.

See Ecclesiastes 9:1

"For I considered all this in my heart, so that I could declare it all; that the righteous and the wise and their works are in the hand of God. People know neither love nor hatred by anything they see before them."

More myself

He is more

myself

than I am.

Whatever our

souls are made of,

his and mine

are the

same.

~Emily Bronte

Kind person

 From @biohackingbombshell

Can we please stop associating 

being a good person with how much

you're willing to suffer in silence

for other people? You can be a kind

person and still say, "No, I don't 

have the time/energy to help you

with that." You can be a kind person

and still say "This makes me 

uncomfortable, please stop." You

can be kind and still say "I'm not okay

with this." Being kind is about

treating people with kindness, not

about being the equivalent 

of a doormat.

Thousands of things

 From 3 am Thoughts

Don't belittle your woman

because you provide bread.

There are thousands of things 

she does that your money

can't do for you.

Care too much

 Some people care too much. I think that's called LOVE.  ~Winnie the Pooh

Green flags

 Never hear about these...

Green flags for people in your life:

• Their presence is calming
• They respect your opinion
• They make you laugh
• They listen without judgment
• They are supportive
• They respect your needs
• They honor your boundaries
• They make an effort
• They make you feel valued

Part of you

By Steven Furtick

God is saying to you today,

"If you want to know who I am, you need to understand I'm the God of that part of you that you don't want anybody to see. I'm not just the God of your success. I'm the God of your struggle. I'm not just the God of your victories. I'm the God of your defeats."

Ungrateful

 FOCUS ON YOU.

You've done enough for the ungrateful.

Not yours

Not sure if I posted this yet or not...

One day you'll look back and be thankful that it went God's way and not yours.

Kaleidoscope

Her soul is a kaleidoscope

Bursting with every shade and hue.

But shift your gaze ever so slightly

And she's something entirely new.

~e.h.

Beautiful

 I'm pretty sure I've posted this before, but worth repeating...

"She was BEAUTIFUL, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for the SPARKLE in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile, even if she was sad. No, she wasn't beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul."

~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Dear December

 Dear December,

Come on in with your lights,

your music,

your promise of joy.

You make the harsh winter warmer,

the dark months brighter,

and bring us together,

in so many ways.

Let your festive graces,

warm our hardened hearts,

and remind us of what's important,

each other.

And December,

please be kind,

to those who find your lights,

too bright.

Let them see that hope lives,

in every card,

in every invitation,

in every glass raised.

And for Christmas,

give them memories,

old and new,

like the precious gifts they are.

And show them what to do,

with all that love.

~Donna Ashworth

Posted on Grief Bites

Apology

An apology

without change

is manipulation.

~Jam Alker

Beauty is not

Beauty is not who you are

on the outside. It is the

wisdom and time you

gave away to save another

struggling soul like you.

~Shannon L. Alder, MW Facets

This baby

 I like to think that at the end of

a long day, when they're asleep, and

we miss them, we scroll through

photos of them because we still

can't believe they're real. They're here.

They're ours. Ours to love.

How very lucky we are.

Once upon a time, you dreamt about

 this baby. Now you lay your head

down at night, knowing your

greatest dream came true.

~@mybestmomfriend

Constant source

 From Timothy Keller

Three truths Christians believe that should be a constant source of happiness:

1. Our bad things will turn out for good (Romans 8:28)
2. The good things we have can never be taken away from us (Romans 8:29-31; 37-39)
3. The best things are yet to come (Romans 8:18-21)

Invest

Invest in your man. Men do dope shxx when you believe in them.

Invest in your queen. She makes moves the king can't.

Romance

We mistake sex for romance. Guys are 

taught that pushing a girl up against a

wall is romance. Sex is easy; you can 

do it with anyone, yourself, with 

batteries. Romance is when someone

you like walks into a room and they

take your breath away. Romance is 

when two people are dancing and they

fit together perfectly. Romance is 

when two people are walking next to

each other and all of a sudden they

find themselves holding hands, and

they don't know how that happened.

~John C. Moffi

Someone

I don't need a savior (please note small "s"). I never did.

what I need is someone to be there for me when I don't

have enough in me to keep going. someone who respects me 

and treats me well. and someone who doesn't go back on their

word when they've promised to be there no matter what.

~r.m. drake

Perfectly loved

When my son died, many people with the best of

intentions lied to me. I was the perfect mom. My son

was the perfect son. He and I shared a perfect

relationship. Isn't that comforting?

Well, frankly for me, the answer is no.

I wasn't the perfect mom. I made a lot of mistakes. I

got angry. I was selfish at times. I was not the perfect

mom.

I was a normal one.

My son wasn't the perfect son. He made bad decisions

which impacted everyone who loved him as well as

himself. He got angry. He was selfish at times. He was

not the perfect son.

We did not share a perfect relationship. There is no 

such thing as perfect between imperfect people.

There are a lot of things I wish we had both done

differently. We did not have a perfect relationship.

We had a normal one.

I can find no comfort in lies I could never fully accept.

But I find much comfort in the truth.

We always loved each other.

~Susan Sek, Welcome to the Tribe, Sorry You're With Us

Five minutes

I want five minutes

With you

To feel

Your skin

Under my fingertips

Your energy

Washing over me

Sharing a breath or two

Savoring

The essence of you

So my lips may know you

As something more

Than just a dream.

~S.M. Klees

Like home

some will love your

outside and some 

will fall in love

with your actions,

but they aren't

meant for you.

hold out for the one

who falls in love

with your inside,

the broken pieces

and all.

not because  it is

wrapped by your

beautiful shell,

but because it feels

like home.

~JmStorm

Be mindful

Be mindful of how people:

• Make you feel
• React to your good news
• Respond when you need help
• Respond to your boundaries
• Energize or deplete you
• Include you
• Give you room to take up space
• Encourage you
• Celebrate you
• Allow you to shine
• Support you

~@h.e.l.e.n.m.a.r.i.e.

Who I am

 From Steven Furtick

God is saying to you today,

"If you want to know who I am,

you need to understand I'm the God

of that part of you that you don't

want anybody to see. I'm not just

the God of your success. I'm the

God of your struggle. I'm not just 

the God of your victories. I'm the

God of your defeats."

An effort

Giving up on

someone who

isn't making 

an effort,

isn't actually

giving up on

anything BTW.

Lose you

When you have a heart of gold and

pure intentions, you don't lose

anyone - they lose you.

Tree-ness

 From Max Lucado

You don't influence God's love. You 

can't impact the tree-ness of a tree,

the sky-ness of a sky, or the rock-

ness of a rock. Nor can you affect the

love of God. He loves you because He 

decides to.

You and you alone

 Only you and you 

alone can change your

situation. Don't blame it

on anything or anyone.

Too sensitive

 From wordables

What they say:

"You're too sensitive"

What they mean:

"I don't want to be

held responsible for

your reaction when I mistreat you."

Investments

Struggle is temporary. Sacrifices are like investments. 

Give up the short term comfort for the long term win.

Be patient and stay focused.

Risk

 From The Little Prince

Of course I'll hurt you.

Of course you'll hurt me.

Of course we will hurt each other.

But this is the very condition of existence.

To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter.

To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.