If you're pretty, you're pretty.
But the only way to be beautiful is
to be loving. Otherwise, it's just
Congratulations about
your face.
Thursday, May 30, 2019
Biggest fan
A relationship means you come together to make each other better. It's not all about you, and it's not all about them. It's all about the relationship. Support them in their dreams and vision just as much as you would expect them to support you. Make each other better. Challenge each other to go beyond average. Pull out the greatness from within each other. Make sure they can find their biggest fan in you, and you can find yours in them.
Sign of strength
Never apologize for being sensitive or emotional. Let this be a sign that you've got a big heart and aren't afraid to let others see it. Showing your emotions is a sign of strength.
That girl
Do not let that girl go...
You only get one great girl in your life. You might have other good girls too but only one great girl that you will never forget for the rest of your life I promise you. Do not let that great girl go and do whatever it takes to keep her cause you'll regret letting her walk away.
You only get one great girl in your life. You might have other good girls too but only one great girl that you will never forget for the rest of your life I promise you. Do not let that great girl go and do whatever it takes to keep her cause you'll regret letting her walk away.
Important
A man should understand he doesn't protect his woman because she is weak...
He protects her because she is important.
He protects her because she is important.
Every Christian
While not every Christian who attends church is a strong Christian,
EVERY Christian who is a STRONG Christian is a CHURCH-GOING Christian.
EVERY Christian who is a STRONG Christian is a CHURCH-GOING Christian.
Creative masterpiece
from Flying Free
by Carolyn Curtis James, Half the Church: Recapturing God's Global Vision for Women
Like the man, she is also God's creative masterpiece - a work of genius and a marvel to behold - for she is fearfully and wonderfully made. The ezer never sheds her image-bearer identity. Not here. Not ever. God defines who she is and how she is to live in His world. That never changes. The image-bearer responsibilities to reflect God to the world and to rule and subdue on His behalf still rest on her shoulders too. God didn't create the woman to bring half of herself to His global commission or to minimize herself when the man is around. The fanfare over her is overblown if God was only planning for her to do for the man things he was perfectly capable of doing for himself or didn't even need. The man won't starve without her. In the garden, he really doesn't need someone to do laundry, pick up after him, or manage his home. If Adam must think, decide, protect, and provide for the woman, she actually becomes a burden on him - not much help when you think about it. The kind of help the man needs demands full deployment of her strength, her gifts, and the best she has to offer. His life will change for the better because of what she contributes to his life.
by Carolyn Curtis James, Half the Church: Recapturing God's Global Vision for Women
Like the man, she is also God's creative masterpiece - a work of genius and a marvel to behold - for she is fearfully and wonderfully made. The ezer never sheds her image-bearer identity. Not here. Not ever. God defines who she is and how she is to live in His world. That never changes. The image-bearer responsibilities to reflect God to the world and to rule and subdue on His behalf still rest on her shoulders too. God didn't create the woman to bring half of herself to His global commission or to minimize herself when the man is around. The fanfare over her is overblown if God was only planning for her to do for the man things he was perfectly capable of doing for himself or didn't even need. The man won't starve without her. In the garden, he really doesn't need someone to do laundry, pick up after him, or manage his home. If Adam must think, decide, protect, and provide for the woman, she actually becomes a burden on him - not much help when you think about it. The kind of help the man needs demands full deployment of her strength, her gifts, and the best she has to offer. His life will change for the better because of what she contributes to his life.
Fall in love
Fall in love
with someone who loves the way
you laugh and would do absolutely
anything to hear it. Fall in love with
someone who puts their head on your
chest just to hear your heart beat.
Fall in love with someone who kisses
you in public and is proud to show
you off to anyone they know. Fall in love
with someone who would never
ever want to hurt you. Fall in love
with someone who falls in love with
your flaws and thinks you are perfect
just the way you are. Fall in love with
someone who thinks that you are the
one they would love to wake
up to each day.
Interrupt
My therapist taught me to interrupt
my anxious thinking with thoughts
like: "What if things work out" and
"What if all my hard work pays off?"
So, I'm passing that on to you
wherever you are, whatever you're
leaving, or whomever you're becoming.
my anxious thinking with thoughts
like: "What if things work out" and
"What if all my hard work pays off?"
So, I'm passing that on to you
wherever you are, whatever you're
leaving, or whomever you're becoming.
Number one reason
by Mac Miller
The number one reason
why people give up so
fast is because they tend
to look at how far they
still have to go, instead
of how far they've gotten.
The number one reason
why people give up so
fast is because they tend
to look at how far they
still have to go, instead
of how far they've gotten.
Stand
So love this
You stand before God
as if you were Christ,
because Christ stood
before God as if
He were you.
Charles Spurgeon
Shhhhh
from The Malignant Narcissistic Abuser
Shhhhhhh
I am allowed to abuse
you, but you're not allowed
to talk about it, and if you do,
I will become a victim and accuse
you of harassment.
Never hurt
Never hurt the heart that loves you, because the same heart might never learn to love you again.
Tuesday, May 28, 2019
Your face
This morning when I was trying to wake Carter up, I laid down next to him to wait for him to wake up. The room was still dark, and with the way his hair was parted, and with the low level of light in the room, it almost looked like I was looking at your face. It was so much like yours, it brought tears to my eyes imagining seeing your face again for real. Thank you for that.
Go high
by Michelle Obama
When someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you don't stoop to their level.
No, our motto is, when they go low, we go high.
When someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you don't stoop to their level.
No, our motto is, when they go low, we go high.
Herself
She tried so hard to make everyone happy, but she realized she was forgetting someone: herself
Thursday, May 23, 2019
Easy way out
from Flying Free
The erroneous idea that "divorce is the easy way out"...
Here is the thing...when a woman, who has shown signs of following the Lord...who has tried and tried and tried...finally leaves an abusive marriage...most likely...it is not the easy way out. Good heavens! Do you know what she is facing? She faces divorce, court hearings, terrifying child custody issues and scares, loss of income, possibly having to go back to work for the first time in years or decades, the possible loss of support from her own family (depending on whether or not they were raised to believe that "divorce is not an option")...she probably loses his family, she may lose support from her local church, she faces single-motherhood, she wonders if she will ever find love again. She wonders if her self-esteem and/or self image will ever grow from the minuscule dot it has become. She wonders if she will be rejected from church. She is looking at a failed marriage. And those around her are watching the marriage fail. She does not know if she will receive child support or alimony. Listen...whatever small amount of security she may have had in her marriage will now be gone.
Whoever says that leaving a marriage is the "easy way out"...has never walked in her shoes; has never lived in her home; has never EVER had to face the gut-wrenching decisions she has had to face for herself and her children.
Let's not judge; let's stop saying things like "don't leave and take the easy way out." Let's have some compassion.
The erroneous idea that "divorce is the easy way out"...
Here is the thing...when a woman, who has shown signs of following the Lord...who has tried and tried and tried...finally leaves an abusive marriage...most likely...it is not the easy way out. Good heavens! Do you know what she is facing? She faces divorce, court hearings, terrifying child custody issues and scares, loss of income, possibly having to go back to work for the first time in years or decades, the possible loss of support from her own family (depending on whether or not they were raised to believe that "divorce is not an option")...she probably loses his family, she may lose support from her local church, she faces single-motherhood, she wonders if she will ever find love again. She wonders if her self-esteem and/or self image will ever grow from the minuscule dot it has become. She wonders if she will be rejected from church. She is looking at a failed marriage. And those around her are watching the marriage fail. She does not know if she will receive child support or alimony. Listen...whatever small amount of security she may have had in her marriage will now be gone.
Whoever says that leaving a marriage is the "easy way out"...has never walked in her shoes; has never lived in her home; has never EVER had to face the gut-wrenching decisions she has had to face for herself and her children.
Let's not judge; let's stop saying things like "don't leave and take the easy way out." Let's have some compassion.
1886
Marriage Advice from 1886
Let your love be stronger than your hate or anger.
Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend
a little than to break.
Believe the best rather than the worst.
People have a way of living up or down to your opinion
of them.
Remember that true friendship is the basis for any lasting
relationship. The person you choose to marry is deserving
of the courtesies and kindnesses you bestow on
your friends.
Please hand this down to your children and your
children's children: The more things change the more they
are the same.
by Jane Wells (1886)
High tolerance
A history of trauma can give you a high tolerance for emotional pain. Just because you can take it doesn't mean you have to.
If she flinches
If she flinches when you go to put your arm around her...someone else's hand once wasn't so sweet...If she questions you...someone else lied to her...If she doesn't tell you things...someone else once betrayed her secrets...Behind every cranky, complicated girl or girl who is scared to love is...A girl who is tired of being broken...
Doesn't give you the right
Saying, "My body, my choice" is like
saying "My house, my rules." It still
doesn't give you the right to kill
anyone inside of it.
Keep on shining
Let people judge you. Let them
misunderstand you. Let them gossip
about you. What they think of you
isn't your problem. Their opinions
do not pay your bills. So you stay
kind, committed to love, and no
matter what they do or say...never
doubt your worth or the beauty of
your truth. You keep on shining
and let the haters hate.
The sad parts
He cried.
He knew Lazarus
was dead before He got the news.
But still. He cried.
He knew Lazarus would be alive
again in moments.
But still, He cried.
He knew this world is not home. He knew death
here is not forever. He knew eternity
and the kingdom better than
anyone else could.
And He wept.
Because this world is full of pain and regret
and loss and depression and devastation...
He wept because knowing the end of the story
doesn't mean you can't cry at the sad parts.
Build with you
When someone is willing
to struggle with you, just
so that they can build
something with you,
that's love.
A new one
from Flying Free
If you feel like
you don't fit in this
world, it is because
you are here to help
create a new one.
What people think
Caring about what people think of you is useless.
Most people don't even know what they think of themselves.
Most people don't even know what they think of themselves.
Tuesday, May 21, 2019
You didn't fail
by Angela Miller
I have to tell you this. You didn't fail.
Not even a little.
You are not a horrible mother.
You didn't choose this. You didn't want this to
happen. You didn't do anything wrong. It just
happened. To you. Despite your begging, pleading,
praying, hoping against all hope that it would not.
Even though everything within you was screaming, no
no no no no no no no no no!!!!!
Even if you did nothing more, you are already
the best mom there is because you would have
done absolutely anything to keep your child
alive. To breathe your last breath to save
theirs. To choose the pain all over again just
to spend one more minute with them. That, is
the ultimate kind of love.
You are the ultimate kind of mother.
Their own abuse
from Flying Free
THIS. IS. THE. TRUTH.
"I feel the need to address an important thought process that I see often in both life and my counseling practices. I just heard another recording of a well-known leader asking a woman what her part was in the abuse she was describing.
Nobody ever causes their own abuse.
I am a trained systems therapist, with 26 years of practice behind me. I am trained to both believe that each person plays a role in a relational system and to identify that role.
While in many cases relational dynamics have something called "mutual casualty" in which both parties play a part in "causing" the conflict, this is not the case in the dynamic of abuse, especially not in cases of abuse perpetrated by someone with a personality disorder.
A personality disorder us a pervasive pattern ingrained not only in an individual's behavior but in their entire world-view. This pattern is cemented in their personality and highly unlikely that it will ever change.
Abuse perpetrated by a personality disordered individual is not in any way provoked by someone else. It is inherent in the disorder. Also inherent in many of the Personality Disorders is the underlying dynamic of all abuse behaviors: the willingness to assign blame to the victim by the disordered individual.
People who believe ALL marriage problems are 50/50 and who have no training or awareness regarding this type of disorder and abuse, will unwittingly join the abuser in looking for what the victim did to "provoke the abuse". Many professionals still operate with this harmful assumption and do damage when dealing with abuse.
It IS true that the victim in the case of abuse plays a role, but that is different than assigning them responsibility for the reactions and misbehavior of the abusive individual. The role the victim plays is to stay in the dynamic and accept the responsibility for trying to change the abuser.
Keep in mind, in many cases an abuse victim may be a dependent minor and their options to walk away are extremely limited. When they ask for help, it often leads to the "what are you doing to cause it?" question. Many adult victims grew up with this kind of dynamic and believe they are responsible to carry the weight of a disordered individual's inappropriate behavior.
For the victim to actually stop playing their role in an abuse dynamic they must stop tolerating the abuse, and in many cases must walk away from the abusive relationship. In most religious settings this is seen as wrong and abuse victims are often counseled to "Go back and do something better so that the abuse will stop".
Especially with a personality disordered perpetrator, that is a sentence to a lifetime of abuse.
Let me state this plainly. When dealing with true abuse, and especially with a personality disordered perpetrator, to question what the victim did to cause it, or recommend they try to change their behavior to manage the abuse plays right into the hand of the abuser.
Whether you are a counselor, a pastor, a motivational speaker, or just a friend, DO NOT question a victim about their role in being abused. And DO NOT recommend they go back and try to manage the abuser's behavior by improving their own behavior in some area. This strengthens a deadly dynamic that you should be helping to stop. Ask instead what they need to be safe."
THIS. IS. THE. TRUTH.
"I feel the need to address an important thought process that I see often in both life and my counseling practices. I just heard another recording of a well-known leader asking a woman what her part was in the abuse she was describing.
Nobody ever causes their own abuse.
I am a trained systems therapist, with 26 years of practice behind me. I am trained to both believe that each person plays a role in a relational system and to identify that role.
While in many cases relational dynamics have something called "mutual casualty" in which both parties play a part in "causing" the conflict, this is not the case in the dynamic of abuse, especially not in cases of abuse perpetrated by someone with a personality disorder.
A personality disorder us a pervasive pattern ingrained not only in an individual's behavior but in their entire world-view. This pattern is cemented in their personality and highly unlikely that it will ever change.
Abuse perpetrated by a personality disordered individual is not in any way provoked by someone else. It is inherent in the disorder. Also inherent in many of the Personality Disorders is the underlying dynamic of all abuse behaviors: the willingness to assign blame to the victim by the disordered individual.
People who believe ALL marriage problems are 50/50 and who have no training or awareness regarding this type of disorder and abuse, will unwittingly join the abuser in looking for what the victim did to "provoke the abuse". Many professionals still operate with this harmful assumption and do damage when dealing with abuse.
It IS true that the victim in the case of abuse plays a role, but that is different than assigning them responsibility for the reactions and misbehavior of the abusive individual. The role the victim plays is to stay in the dynamic and accept the responsibility for trying to change the abuser.
Keep in mind, in many cases an abuse victim may be a dependent minor and their options to walk away are extremely limited. When they ask for help, it often leads to the "what are you doing to cause it?" question. Many adult victims grew up with this kind of dynamic and believe they are responsible to carry the weight of a disordered individual's inappropriate behavior.
For the victim to actually stop playing their role in an abuse dynamic they must stop tolerating the abuse, and in many cases must walk away from the abusive relationship. In most religious settings this is seen as wrong and abuse victims are often counseled to "Go back and do something better so that the abuse will stop".
Especially with a personality disordered perpetrator, that is a sentence to a lifetime of abuse.
Let me state this plainly. When dealing with true abuse, and especially with a personality disordered perpetrator, to question what the victim did to cause it, or recommend they try to change their behavior to manage the abuse plays right into the hand of the abuser.
Whether you are a counselor, a pastor, a motivational speaker, or just a friend, DO NOT question a victim about their role in being abused. And DO NOT recommend they go back and try to manage the abuser's behavior by improving their own behavior in some area. This strengthens a deadly dynamic that you should be helping to stop. Ask instead what they need to be safe."
Isolates
God isolates you so you can get yourself together.
It may seem like you lost friendships and relationships, but a better you is worth more.
It may seem like you lost friendships and relationships, but a better you is worth more.
Soulmate
A soulmate is someone
who challenges you to do better,
someone who can't stand seeing
you sad, someone who stays
faithful, loyal and committed to
you, someone who helps take care
of you when you're sick, someone
who stands by your side through
the good days and the bad days,
and someone who wants to grow
old and gray with you.
Black sheep
from The Minds Journal
In a toxic family system the black sheep is often just the person who sees through every else's b.s.
In a toxic family system the black sheep is often just the person who sees through every else's b.s.
Unbreak
Grab a plate and throw it on the floor. Did it break? Yes?
Ok, now tell it you're sorry. Good, now, did it unbreak?
No?
Now you understand.
Ok, now tell it you're sorry. Good, now, did it unbreak?
No?
Now you understand.
The depth
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
Romans 11:33
Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out!
Romans 11:33
Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out!
Thursday, May 16, 2019
In your midst
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.
God's book
All of your days have already been written in God's book. When you go through a disappointment
don't stop on that page. Stay the course. Keep believing. You may be tired, discouraged and frustrated, but don't give up on your future. Our God is faithful.
don't stop on that page. Stay the course. Keep believing. You may be tired, discouraged and frustrated, but don't give up on your future. Our God is faithful.
Your heart knows
You can't stop the feelings you have for someone, you can't lie to yourself either.
Your heart knows the truth all too well.
Your heart knows the truth all too well.
Tuesday, May 14, 2019
My inward parts
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
Reminds me of the movie, "Unplanned"
Psalm 139:13-14
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
Reminds me of the movie, "Unplanned"
Psalm 139:13-14
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
No stronger
by Jessi Snapp
There is no stronger,
braver, or more courageous
mother than a mother that
has experienced the death of
a child. A mother who has
endured the unthinkable
and yet she still loves with every
ounce of her being. A mother who
has endured the worst pain
and still she is brave
enough to face another day.
Over everything
The woman you are becoming
will cost you
people
relationships
spaces
and material things.
Choose her over everything.
Hard on yourself
You're so hard on yourself.
But remember, everybody has a chapter
they don't read out loud. Take a moment. Sit back.
Marvel at your life; at the mistakes that gave you
wisdom, at the suffering that gave you strength.
Despite everything, you still move forward, be proud
of this. Continue to endure. Continue to persevere.
And remember, no matter how dark it gets,
the sun will rise again.
Gift is given
from Gift of Life by Dr. Joshua Mezrich
These organs we transplant...
they are the ultimate gift, the
gift of life, the last thing the
dead can bestow upon the
living. We, as surgeons, simply
transfer them from one person
to another. We are the
stewards, and it is our job to
make sure the gift is given.
These organs we transplant...
they are the ultimate gift, the
gift of life, the last thing the
dead can bestow upon the
living. We, as surgeons, simply
transfer them from one person
to another. We are the
stewards, and it is our job to
make sure the gift is given.
Give one back
by Erma Bombeck
On Mother's Day
I can think of no mother more
deserving that a Mother who
had to give one back.
On Mother's Day
I can think of no mother more
deserving that a Mother who
had to give one back.
Slightest sin
by R.C. Sproul
The closer we are to God,
the more the slightest sin
will cause us deep sorrow.
The closer we are to God,
the more the slightest sin
will cause us deep sorrow.
How deeply
by Jessie Snapp
She never knew
just how deeply
she could love.
Until she stood
on one side of the veil
& her child on the other.
Her feet rooted on earth
& her heart forever reaching
towards Heaven.
Safe haven
by Jen Hindley
The problem is not that the church isn't a safe haven.
It's that it's a safe haven for abusers instead of victims.
The problem is not that the church isn't a safe haven.
It's that it's a safe haven for abusers instead of victims.
Longest walk home
The longest walk home that any parent will ever take
is the one that they take
after their child has "ran home" ahead of them.
is the one that they take
after their child has "ran home" ahead of them.
Flaws
When you meet someone
who tries their
hardest to stick
by you regardless of how
difficult you are,
keep them.
Keep them at all
costs because
finding someone
who cares
enough to look
past your flaws
isn't something that
happens every day.
You are
Stop hating yourself for everything you aren't and start loving yourself for everything that you are.
Praised
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, shall be praised.
Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, shall be praised.
Be kind
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
Ephesians 4:32
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Virtuous wife
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
They had all of these verses because of Mother's Day...
Proverbs 31:10, 27-28
The Virtuous Wife
Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and called her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her.
They had all of these verses because of Mother's Day...
Proverbs 31:10, 27-28
The Virtuous Wife
Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and called her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her.
The bravest thing
from Flying Free
"What is the bravest thing you've ever said," asked the boy.
"Help," said the horse.
"What is the bravest thing you've ever said," asked the boy.
"Help," said the horse.
Monday, May 13, 2019
Mental health
First rule of mental health:
Learn to distinguish who
deserves an explanation,
who deserves only one
answer and who deserves
absolutely nothing.
Deadly lie
from Flying Free
by Ramone Probasco, Healing Well and Living Free
Some women falsely equate enduring abuse with developing godliness. Perhaps they have been led to think their abusive situation is a cross they must bear. They have come to believe that if they remain faithful through the abuse, they will become more like Jesus, or they will win their husbands over without a word through their quiet and gentle spirit. This is a deadly lie.
It's true that in this world we will suffer. We may be laid off from work, get diagnosed with a terminal illness, or get in a car accident. These are all examples of bad things that can happen to good people. But abuse is different. Abuse is evil and there is no good in it. No one needs to stick around to be abused. Not me and not you. Abuse is never of God. He does not want you to be anyone's whipping post. God definitely used this extremely painful time in my life for good, but He did not endorse or ignore Ben's actions. Understanding and accepting that God was never to blame for my pain kept me from going down the wrong path. Your suffering was not God's choice, and it is not His fault. It is not yours either. Understanding these foundational truths about God and yourself is paramount to healing well.
by Ramone Probasco, Healing Well and Living Free
Some women falsely equate enduring abuse with developing godliness. Perhaps they have been led to think their abusive situation is a cross they must bear. They have come to believe that if they remain faithful through the abuse, they will become more like Jesus, or they will win their husbands over without a word through their quiet and gentle spirit. This is a deadly lie.
It's true that in this world we will suffer. We may be laid off from work, get diagnosed with a terminal illness, or get in a car accident. These are all examples of bad things that can happen to good people. But abuse is different. Abuse is evil and there is no good in it. No one needs to stick around to be abused. Not me and not you. Abuse is never of God. He does not want you to be anyone's whipping post. God definitely used this extremely painful time in my life for good, but He did not endorse or ignore Ben's actions. Understanding and accepting that God was never to blame for my pain kept me from going down the wrong path. Your suffering was not God's choice, and it is not His fault. It is not yours either. Understanding these foundational truths about God and yourself is paramount to healing well.
Thursday, May 9, 2019
Rejoice
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Walk in wisdom
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
Colossians 4:5-6
Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.
Colossians 4:5-6
Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.
Free
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
Romans 8:1-2
Free from Indwelling Sin
There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:1-2
Free from Indwelling Sin
There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.
Wednesday, May 8, 2019
Terrible
from Give Her Wings
Many people have told me, "He's a bad husband but he's a good father." The truth is, men who abuse their partners are ALWAYS terrible fathers. They damage their children emotionally (sometimes physically or sexually), model for them that abuse is "normal" and that love and abuse "go together", and they set a horrible example of manhood. Even after separation or divorce, most abusers typically work to destroy the maternal-child bond, as a way of punishing the partner for leaving. Long-term, this abuse tactic damages the children even more than witnessing the violence.
Sadly, this is rarely understood by those working in child protection agencies and family courts. In the vast majority of contested custody cases, the man wins, and in most cases where is fighting to gain sole custody, he is an abuser. (Good parents nearly always work out a shared custody situation that will be in the best interests of the children, regardless of how they feel about each other.) LET IT BE KNOWN: It is flatly NOT in a child's best interest to EVER be in the unsupervised care of an abuser, under any circumstances!
So many people think if children are not being hit or hurt physically, and a man plays with them, gives them attention or buys them things, this constitutes being a "good father." IT DOES NOT! If this were all that were required, then a babysitter would easily meet the criteria.
Many people have told me, "He's a bad husband but he's a good father." The truth is, men who abuse their partners are ALWAYS terrible fathers. They damage their children emotionally (sometimes physically or sexually), model for them that abuse is "normal" and that love and abuse "go together", and they set a horrible example of manhood. Even after separation or divorce, most abusers typically work to destroy the maternal-child bond, as a way of punishing the partner for leaving. Long-term, this abuse tactic damages the children even more than witnessing the violence.
Sadly, this is rarely understood by those working in child protection agencies and family courts. In the vast majority of contested custody cases, the man wins, and in most cases where is fighting to gain sole custody, he is an abuser. (Good parents nearly always work out a shared custody situation that will be in the best interests of the children, regardless of how they feel about each other.) LET IT BE KNOWN: It is flatly NOT in a child's best interest to EVER be in the unsupervised care of an abuser, under any circumstances!
So many people think if children are not being hit or hurt physically, and a man plays with them, gives them attention or buys them things, this constitutes being a "good father." IT DOES NOT! If this were all that were required, then a babysitter would easily meet the criteria.
Good people
by Bob Marley
The problem today is
people don't cherish
good people. They try to
use them.
Beg
"I don't ask anyone to
stay
Not anymore
The phone may tremble
in my hand
But never again
Will I beg for someone
to love me"
stay
Not anymore
The phone may tremble
in my hand
But never again
Will I beg for someone
to love me"
One thing
by Sky N.
If there's one thing I learned about grief,
it's that it always surprises me. Disappearing
one minute, returning with a
vengeance another. Sometimes it surfaces
in tears, other in anger and apologies. I
don't understand...the smallest trigger, a
similar laugh, a song, a place you drive by...
and in an instant it feels like you are flung
into a time machine and transported back to
that moment when the time stood still and
they were standing next to you.
Monday, May 6, 2019
Hearing vs. knowing
There's a difference
between knowing about
somebody and hearing about
somebody. Just because you
"heard" doesn't mean you
"know"
Over themselves
by Mary Wollstonecraft
I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves.
I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves.
The way I cared
One day you're
going to miss my boring
texts, my random calls, my
silly questions. You'll miss my
fights, mood swings, my
arguments, my possessiveness
and my insecurities. But most
of all you'll miss the way I
cared for you.
Most wakan
I felt this so much after you died...
In the Lakota/Sioux tradition, a person who is grieving is considered most wakan (powerful), most holy. There's a sense that when someone is struck by the sudden lightning of loss, he or she stands on the threshold of the spirit world. The prayers of those who grieve are considered especially strong, and it is proper to ask them for their help. You might recall what it's like to be with someone who has grieved deeply. The person has no layer of protection, nothing left to defend. The mystery is looking out through that person's eyes. For the time being, he or she has accepted the reality of loss and has stopped clinging to the past or grasping at the future. In the groundless openness of sorrow, there is a wholeness of presence and a deep natural wisdom.
-Tara Brach
In the Lakota/Sioux tradition, a person who is grieving is considered most wakan (powerful), most holy. There's a sense that when someone is struck by the sudden lightning of loss, he or she stands on the threshold of the spirit world. The prayers of those who grieve are considered especially strong, and it is proper to ask them for their help. You might recall what it's like to be with someone who has grieved deeply. The person has no layer of protection, nothing left to defend. The mystery is looking out through that person's eyes. For the time being, he or she has accepted the reality of loss and has stopped clinging to the past or grasping at the future. In the groundless openness of sorrow, there is a wholeness of presence and a deep natural wisdom.
-Tara Brach
Never given up
Don't feel sad
over someone who gave up on
you, feel sorry for them because
they gave up on someone who
would never have given up
on them.
She deserves
She'd rather struggle than ask anyone for help, because she's tired of empty promises and getting it thrown in her face. She deserves effort and loyalty without asking.
The table
by Nina Simone
You have to learn
to get up from the table,
When love is no
longer being served.
No matter how much
No matter how much
you wish you could, you cannot control how
another person feels and loves. Just because
someone fails to see your worth, it doesn't make
them a bad person and it doesn't mean you are
unlovable. It simply means that they are not
meant for you. You should never have to spend
your days and nights wondering if you are good
enough for somebody. You are enough. You are
more than enough for the right person. Always
remember that your happiness comes first.
Focus on loving yourself, like really loving
yourself, and you will see your value and find
the strength to walk away from unrequited love.
Weeks, months, years will pass and you'll
look back and wonder why the hell it took you so
long to see all along you deserved everything
you always wished you had.
Surely
Psalm 23:6
Surely Your
goodness and
mercy shall
follow me all the
days of my life,
and I will dwell in
the house of the
Lord forever.
Surely Your
goodness and
mercy shall
follow me all the
days of my life,
and I will dwell in
the house of the
Lord forever.
Don't judge
by Toby Mac
Don't judge people for the choices they make
when you don't know the options they had to choose from
Don't judge people for the choices they make
when you don't know the options they had to choose from
Heavy crown
by r.h. Sin
Heavy is the crown and yet she wears it as if it were a feather. There is strength in her heart, determination in her eyes, and the will to survive resides within her soul. She is you. A warrior,
a champion, a fighter, a queen.
Heavy is the crown and yet she wears it as if it were a feather. There is strength in her heart, determination in her eyes, and the will to survive resides within her soul. She is you. A warrior,
a champion, a fighter, a queen.
Accordingly
Not everyone
gets the same version of me.
One person might tell you I
have an amazingly beautiful
soul. Another might tell you
I'm a cold-hearted a..hole.
Believe them both. I don't
treat people badly. I treat
them accordingly.
Show you
People may not
always tell you how they
feel about you but they
always show you.
PAY ATTENTION
She said
She said-
"Where I messed up is that I continued looking for happiness with the person who was taking it away from me; continued to give chances to someone who had proven to be unworthy of them; and continued to expect a different result from someone who had no plans on changing at all."
"Where I messed up is that I continued looking for happiness with the person who was taking it away from me; continued to give chances to someone who had proven to be unworthy of them; and continued to expect a different result from someone who had no plans on changing at all."
Her own lane
She silently stepped
out of the race that she
never wanted to be in,
found her own lane and
proceeded to win.
Make time
People make time for who they
want to make time for. People text
and reply to people they want to
talk to. Never believe anyone who
says they've been too busy. If
they wanted to be around
you, they would.
want to make time for. People text
and reply to people they want to
talk to. Never believe anyone who
says they've been too busy. If
they wanted to be around
you, they would.
Hardest decisions
One of the
hardest decisions you will
ever face in life is choosing
whether to walk away or
try harder.
This woman
This woman has
fought a thousand battles
and is still standing.
Has cried a thousand tears
and is still smiling.
Has been broken, abandoned, rejected,
but she still walks proud.
Laughs loud, lives without fear,
loves without doubt.
This woman is beautiful.
This woman is humble.
This woman is ME.
fought a thousand battles
and is still standing.
Has cried a thousand tears
and is still smiling.
Has been broken, abandoned, rejected,
but she still walks proud.
Laughs loud, lives without fear,
loves without doubt.
This woman is beautiful.
This woman is humble.
This woman is ME.
She deserves
She waits
patiently through the storm
for the life she knows
she deserves in her heart.
Let go
Sometimes you let go
of people without even noticing.
You stop thinking of them every
day. You stop waiting for them to
reply to you. You stop allowing
them to take up so much space in
your life. You move on, you go
about your day without worrying
about them. You stop expecting
them to come back with an apology.
You accept that they are no longer a
part of your life. You just let them
go, simple as that.
Worst side
Some of us matured early
because life showed us the
worst side of the world at
an early age.
Deserve
If someone stays by your
side through your worst
times, they're the ones who
deserve to be with you
through your best times.
Lose interest
If you ever lose
interest in me, please respect
me enough to tell me. Don't
keep me in your life to gain
confidence and energy from my
affection, loyalty, and genuine
kindness. Let me go, so I can
pour my time, patience, and
energy into someone who'll
value and respect me.
Stop fighting
The best
thing I did was learn to stop
fighting for someone who
was okay with losing me
Skinny
YOU DON'T
have to be skinny to be
sexy or beautiful; beauty is
the size of your heart, not
the size of your jeans.
Grief is love
by Jamie Anderson
Grief is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.
Grief is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.
A monster
from Flying Free
"I knew something was wrong when you watched me cry inconsolably, over something you had done and you didn't even flinch. You didn't attempt to apologize. Nor were you remorseful. Instead, you carefully twisted it around to be my fault. I knew then, I was dealing with a monster, not a person."
"I knew something was wrong when you watched me cry inconsolably, over something you had done and you didn't even flinch. You didn't attempt to apologize. Nor were you remorseful. Instead, you carefully twisted it around to be my fault. I knew then, I was dealing with a monster, not a person."
Dead people alive
Amen!
from Pastor Dan Dickerson
from Pastor Dan Dickerson
Jesus didn't come to
make bad men better.
He came to make
dead people alive
Confidence and compassion
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
1 John 5:14-15
Confidence and Compassion in Prayer
Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.
1 John 5:14-15
Confidence and Compassion in Prayer
Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.
In prayer
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
Romans 12:12
rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer;
Romans 12:12
rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer;
The head
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
Ephesian 4:15
but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head-the Christ-
Ephesian 4:15
but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head-the Christ-
Without faith
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
Hebrews 11:6
But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
Hebrews 11:6
But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
Seek and save
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
Luke 19:10
for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.
Luke 19:10
for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.
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