Dear Hayden

I started this blog soon after the death of my beautiful 17-year-old son, Hayden, as a way to deal with my grief. I titled it "Dear Hayden" because at first I wrote as if I was writing to him. My use of the word "dear" ended up being twofold: "used as an affectionate or friendly form of address" and "regarded with deep affection; cherished by someone." Many posts are saved quotes, song lyrics, Bible verses, poems, etc. with credit given to the actual authors as much as possible. Enjoy~

Friday, August 28, 2020

The company

"Which is more important," asked Big Panda, "the journey or the destination?"

"The company," said Tiny Dragon.

Being appreciated

Being appreciated by someone is priceless.

Treat people

from Toby Mac

The way you treat others says a lot about who you are.

Be careful.

Your actions are screaming over your words.

~Thema Davis

Only as pretty

from TobyMac

You're only as pretty as how you treat other people.

Too funny

I've always thought this was so funny...

I'm afraid if I start working out,

I'll be too sexy.

She realized

She realized she could no longer

carry the weight of other people's

expectations or the responsibility

for their happiness.

She realized she could decide to

be at peace herself. And she could

care for herself well.

She practiced listening and loving

and also setting healthy

boundaries.

She stopped wearing things to

make herself look slimmer or

hipper and began to wear

laughter and curiosity instead.

Money

from 3 am Thoughts

Money can buy a house, but not a home.

Money can buy a bed, but not sleep.

Money can buy a clock, but not time.

Money can buy a book, but not knowledge.

Money can buy food, but not an appetite.

Money can buy friends, but not love.

Karma

from Karma has no deadline

Karma says:

Never get too attached to someone,

because attachments lead to expectations,

and expectations lead to disappointments.

Act

from Gods411

I heard them say, "She doesn't act like a Christian."

God replied, "I am not looking for actors,

I always look at the heart."

Success

Success is never owned, it is rented.

And the rent is due every day.

Help people

Help people.

Even when you know they can't help you back.

Genuinely caring

from The Relationship Room

A lot of men aren't used to women genuinely caring about them...

Just are

Never apologize for how you feel. No one can control how they feel. The sun doesn't apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn't say sorry for falling. Feelings just are.

My comments on this:

First of all, the "just are" part reminds me of discussions with you when you were a toddler...

"What are you so funny for?" "I don't know-just are."

Secondly, as far as feelings go, I think they can be controlled to an extent, as far as how seriously you take them knowing how fleeting they can be. On that same note, not taking things so personally or letting feelings control you, etc.

Healthier

from Deep Texts

saying, "hey, I'm not ignoring you, I just don't have the energy to talk right now" is much (more?) healthier for relationships rather than just ignoring a message

Work of God

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

John 6:29

Jesus answered and said to them,

"This is the work of God,

that you believe in Him whom He sent."

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Great peace

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 119:165

Great peace have those who love Your law,

And nothing causes them to stumble.

Monday, August 24, 2020

People will talk

from 3 am Thoughts

But darling, people will talk.

Whatever you do. Whatever you say.

People will judge you if you're

confident and say what's on your mind.

But they'll also judge you once you're quiet and shy.

They'll judge you if you eat a lot.

But they'll also judge you once you don't eat much.

They'll judge you if you don't say your opinion,

but once you say it? They'll judge you too.

People will judge you.

No matter what you do.

So remember it's your life, not theirs.

So be yourself and let them talk.

Obsessed

If your man isn't obsessed with you get a new one

So Hope Will Live

posted by Ruby on the 5th anniversary of her liver transplant

So Hope Will Live

We are strangers, now a family,

forever proud - not by choice -

but joined by need and joined by pain:

different lives, but common voice -

a cry for love, a cry for life,

so hope will live, eternally,

born of saddest irony.

Life will never be the same -

not for you and not for me.

One you love - who shares your name -

now is gone, but I remain:

a second chance, a new domain -

a gift of life that lives in me -

strangers now a family

Know that I am grateful

for the life you gave to me.

May my life give you light

wherever you may be.

And may my life bring comfort

from the pain that hurts you so:

we are strangers now a family,

wherever we may go.

And may the life that lives in me

shine a light so all can see

that life goes on, ironically,

when we choose to donate life,

so hope will live, eternally.

~Daniel Mark Extrom

Generous giving

by Dave Ramsey

Generous giving is the antidote for selfishness.

Perfect relationship

from Relationship Memes

You don't need a perfect relationship.

All you need is someone who loves your weirdness, wants to spend time with you

and respects you.

All things

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Romans 8:32

He who did not spare His own Son,

but delivered Him up for us all,

how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?

Multitude of anxieties

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 94: 18-19

If I say, "My foot slips," Your mercy, O Lord, will hold me up.

In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.

Lovingkindness

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 42:8

The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,

And in the night His song shall be with me - A prayer to the God of my life

Friday, August 21, 2020

My right hand

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 16:8

I have set the Lord always before me;

Because He is at my right hand,

I shall not be moved.

Thursday, August 20, 2020

With grace

from Toby Mac

Let's respond with grace

even when others don't.

Measured

by John Piper

If God's love for His children

is to be measured by

our health, wealth & comfort

in this life,

the God hated (the) Apostle Paul.

The lesson

From Thinking Minds

If you erase all the mistakes of your past, you would also erase all the wisdom of the present.

Remember the lesson,

not the temporary disappointment.

Who He says

God is not who you think He is.

He is what He says He is.

Discarded

from Natalie Hoffman, Flying Free

After being discarded by Christians, there is only one thing left of my former faith.

Jesus.

I can't get past Who He was and how He lived and what He said.

He was/is nothing like them.

And I still see Him.

Just not in the places you'd think.

A rebuke

Contrary to what modern Christianity teaches today,

One of the greatest acts of love is a rebuke.

Your worth

from Toby Mac

There will always be someone who can't see your worth.

Don't let it be you.

Great relationships

from 3 am Thoughts

You can't just give up on someone because the situation's not ideal. Great relationship aren't great because they don't have problems. They're great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work.

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

A baby's cells

From Wendy Rollyson on Surviving After The Loss Of An Older Child

During pregnancy, cells sneak across the placenta. The fetus' cells enter the mother and the mother's cells enter the baby -- and stay there for life. In mothers, fetal cells often take residence in her lungs, spinal cord, skin, thyroid gland, liver, intestine, cervix, gallbladder, spleen, lymph nodes, and blood vessels. The baby's cells may also live a lifetime in Mom's heart and brain.

I thought it might be of some comfort for all of the grieving mothers to know that your child will really always be with you and a part of you...

Your mental health

Your mental health is more important than your career, money, other people's opinions, that event you said you would attend, your partner's mood and your family's wishes, combined.

If taking care of yourself means letting someone down, then let someone down.