Shade

 Worth repeating...

Never respond to shade thrown from a tree that bears no fruit.

Based on love

Stop marrying and committing your

life to people just based on love and

love alone. You'll lose every time.

Respect is important. Fidelity is

important. Finances are important.

Spiritual growth is important.

There is more to marriage than love.

~@fiftyshadesoftired

Unhealthy

 People ask me all the time

"how do I change something I

know is unhealthy?"

And my response is always

"by understanding why you are

choosing it in the first place.

~Tory Eletto

Never

 She wanted to give

him the love he

never got and ended

up getting the pain

she never deserved.

Broken man

 From Johanna Lynn Davis

A broken man will punish you for loving him.

Not because your love was wrong, but because it 

exposed everything he was running from.

Your softness triggered his buried wounds.

Your patience made him feel unworthy.

Your light became too bright for someone who

never learned how to receive warmth without 

suspicion.

He'll push you away and then resent you for

leaving. He'll confuse chaos for chemistry and

silence for safety. And every time you try to pour

into him, he'll make you feel like you're doing too

much, asking too much, being too much.

Not because you are, but because he doesn't 

know how to be enough.

You'll find yourself shrinking, second-guessing,

overgiving, hoping love can fix what trauma built.

But love doesn't heal someone who hasn't chosem

healing.

Love doesn't save someone who's committed to

sabotaging everything good.

A broken man will call your boundaries disrespect.

Your honesty, an attack. Your care, control. And all

the while, you'll be drowning in confusion, trying to

decode behavior that was never your

responsibility to fix.

Say their name

From Letter To My Son In Heaven

Say their name like a song you'd sing out loud.

Unapologetically and full of love.

They are not a shadow to avoid,

but a part of the light I carry forward.

You won't break me by remembering;

you'll remind me how they danced in your

world too.

Grief doesn't hush the story;

it deepens the roots.

And every time you speak of them,

you remind me they sill bloom

in the echoes of every day life

~The Heart of Grief

Not the way

 From Warrior Soul Sisters

"That's not the way the world works.

You can't have someone halfway.

You can't want their company but give them

none of your time.

You can't put them on a shelf.

You can't call them on a Friday and pretend

they don't exist on a Monday.

Can't you see?

You can't have your cake and eat it too.

And you fxxxed up, so badly,

because she was the sweetest of them all."

~S.N. White

Isn't always physical

 abuse isn't always physical.

it's also abuse, if...

you experience

constant criticism

that focuses on 

your character,

personality, or

things you can't 

change

you aren't

allowed to make

your own

choices or say

no without

unpleasant

consequences

you're walking on

eggshells, constantly

monitoring your 

behavior to avoid

angering, triggering,

or disappointing 

them

you feel like you can't

relax or be yourself

without negative

consequences

they withdraw

love, affection, or

respect in order to

punish or control

they accuse you of

things that aren't

true or things

they're doing

the goalposts

constantly move: no

matter how much you 

try to meet their

expectations, it's not

enough - the rules

keep changing or

demands keep 

increasing

they isolate you

from loved ones:

criticizing them,

discouraging

activities, guilt-

tripping, relentless

calling or texting

when you're with

them

you're expected to 

always be there

for them &

validate and soothe

them, but your

achievements or

struggles are

belittled or

dismissed

Their character

 When someone knows

exactly what they're

doing, but still chooses

to hurt you, that's a

reflection of their

character, not yours.

Remember that.

Nothing wrong

There is nothing wrong with you for being anxious when they withdraw.

You're not crazy for feeling crazy when they do not communicate.

It's not because you have anxious attachment that you feel anxious when they give you mixed messages.

It's not your fear of abandonment that makes you uneasy with a lot of time apart.

The only thing that's wrong is that you don't validate your feelings and stand up for what you know you deserve.

Stop diagnosing yourself for being human.

~Jillian Turecki

Low maintenance

 Are you actually "low maintenance" or did you just internalize at a young age that the less resources, attention and energy you require, the more lovable you are? So you take the least amount space possible, because you think you're unlovable if you express desires or needs.

~Soul in Ink

Can't answer

 A man who CAN'T

answer your questions 

without getting angry or 

defensive is just hiding more

than just the answer.

REMEMBER THAT.

Calling it love

From Bella's Journal

You kept calling it love, even when it felt like

walking on eggshells. You kept giving chances,

thinking maybe this time they would choose you

gently.

But love does not make you afraid to speak.

It does not twist your words.

They did not forget your needs, they ignored

them. They did not lose control, they used control

and every time you tried to stand up for yourself,

they found a new way to pull you back down.

That was not love.

That was control dressed up as care.

That was manipulation hiding behind just enough

tenderness to keep you questioning yourself.

You are not crazy.

You are not too much.

You are not too hard to love.

Walking away from someone who made you feel

small when all you ever did was try is not a 

weakness. It is courage and you have every right

to start over, without apology.

Your birthday

and how does it feel?

to be remembered on your birthday?

I never wanted a big party. I never liked loud music or

being around many people. I've always been fine with

something simple and quiet, but sometimes, I think about

it. how does it feel to be remembered? not because you

told someone. not because they saw it on social media.

but because they care.

some people forget, and that's okay. life gets busy. people

have things going on. we all forget sometimes. but when

someone remembers it on their own, it feels different. it feels

like butterflies fluttering in your stomach. it feels like you

matter. it's not about how many people say happy

birthday. it's about the ones who mean it. the ones who

remember because you're important to them.

maybe that's what most of us want. not a big celebration,

not attention, but to be remembered. to be cared for in a 

quiet, simple way.

to know that someone out there is happy you were born.

Matching energy

 From If you miss me

Can I ask you a question seriously? If you meet a woman who clearly has a lifestyle she enjoys - she dresses well, takes care of herself, loves going out, exploring new restaurants, traveling, trying new things, making memories - why do you pursue her just to bring absolutely none of that energy into her life? Why chase a woman who's full of life, constantly curating joy, only to offer her half-hearted "vibes"?

You see her glowing. You see her putting intention into the life she's creating for herself. She's not waiting around for someone to entertain her -- she's already building her own version of happiness. So why come in talking about, "Well I wanna see you, but I don't really like to go out like that," like that's some type of attractive selling point? Sir, what exactly are you bringing to the table besides inconvenience and confusion? The worst part is that some of y'all will see her lifestyle, be drawn to it, and then immediately start trying to shrink her into your comfort zone. Why? If you're not a man who enjoys dates, experiences, or putting in effort to make a woman feel special, then go find someone whose idea of quality time is sitting in silence and staring at the wall. Because that woman -- the one out there living, laughing, glowing -- is not for you.

Matching energy is a real thing. And no, that doesn't mean spending money recklessly or faking a personality. It means intentionality. It means showing up in ways that enhance her life, not dim it. If you can't match what she's already giving herself or at least be willing to contribute to her joy, then please -- respectfully-- stop bothering women who are happy, fulfilled, and not asking for a man to drag them backward.

You don't have to be rich. You don't have to be flashy. But if you don't have effort in your spirit, if thoughtfulness is foreign to you, and your version of dating is "you can come over and chill," then you're not ready for a woman like her. And that's okay. Just don't waste her time pretending like you are.

Kind of girl

 She was the kind of girl

who loved deeply,

who remembered the little things.

who stayed, even when it hurt.

~lettersofannawin

Didn't settle

 She didn't settle --

She almost said yes.

To a love that felt safe,

but not right.

She almost chose comfort

over the unknown.

But then she remembered --

she was never meant for almosts.

She was meant for something real.

And so she waited.

Even when it was hard.

Even when the loneliness whispered, "Settle."

Because she knew,

love was worth the wait.

~lettersofannawin

Loved me anyway

 He didn't wait

for me to get

it right. He

died knowing I 

couldn't, and 

loved me 

anyway.

~I Am Ro Remedios

Stuck

 From If you miss me

You're not stuck because you can't leave -- you're stuck because you gave them everything. Everything you ever wished someone would give you. The love you never received, the understanding you always craved, the safe space you needed but never found...you gave it all to them. Your heart, your body, your time, your softest pieces. You loved them from your wounds, not your scars. That's why it hurts so deeply. You opened up in ways you swore you never would again. You told them things you kept buried for years. You shared your insecurities, your trauma, your dreams, your fears. You made space for them in your most sacred places. And now that it's over or crumbling, it feels like you've lost a piece of you -- because you kind of did.

And the idea of starting over? Exhausting. Because who wants to explain themselves all over again? Who wants to reintroduce their triggers, their past, their favorite songs, or what helps them feel safe? You don't want to hold your breath around someone new wondering if they'll use you vulnerabilities against you the same way the last person did. You're not afraid of being alone...you're afraid of being let down again after opening up.

But hear this -- you are not foolish for loving deeply. You didn't mess up by being vulnerable. That was strength. That was love in its purest form. The mistake was thinking someone else could love you as much as you loved them, without realizing they hadn't learned to love themselves yet. It's okay to rest. It's okay to mourn what could've been. But don't let the wrong person stop you from eventually giving the right one the version of you that still believes in love. You're worthy of being loved the way you love others. And that person? That person will thank you for surviving the people who didn't know how to treat your heart.

They know

 They know your worth.

They just hope you don't.

Love isn't

 What Love Isn't

It isn't silence when you're hurting.

It isn't distance when you need closeness.

It isn't you doing all the work.

Real love doesn't pull away when you're most vulnerable.

Remember that.

Write it down.

Live by it.

Holy goodbyes

 From lettersofannawin

Not all endings are heartbreaks;

some are holy goodbyes.

Loud children

Child Psychologist: Loud

children are a sign of a

safe and loving home.

 

War inside

From wild spirit, soft heart/butterflies rising

you will hurt her

and rage against her and completely

push her away, and once she's gone...

you're going to find that this war was

inside of you all along

~the mirror

Can't handle

  A man can't handle the

same hurt he gives a 

woman.

He expects her to be loyal,

soft, and forgiving

while he moves recklessly,

assuming she'll stay.

But the moment she

mirrors his behaviour.

he breaks.

~No one cares

Best trait

falling out of love with you

was a revelation.

i realized there was

nothing magic about you -

i loved you

and that was your best trait.

Refuse

 Emotional Maturity

Refuse to be offended. When people ignore,

or are mean or rude to you...they're revealing

themselves. They're telling you what's within

themselves...not what's within you. How you

treat those who mistreat you, reveals your

emotional and spiritual maturity.

Enough power

Don't ever give anyone enough power over

you to bring back the triggered, unhealed

version of you when you've worked so hard

to become better than that.

~The Super Powered Mind

Terrifying

 From Soulology

"She won't break you like those other girls will.

That's exactly why you're terrified of her.

She could make you happy.

And you know being happy is the most terrifying thing in the universe.

Once you're happy it can be taken from you."

~The girl who terrifies you

Starve

 HOW TO STARVE A NARCISSIST:

NO emotions.

SHORT responses.

MINIMAL interaction.

NO contact.

Convince

One of the biggest signs of childhood trauma

is trying to convince people who are hurting us

to treat us well, instead of walking away.

~The Comeback Coach

Re-open

Disrespect can permanently

shut doors that apologies

cannot re-open.

Read that again. 

Papercuts

We don't talk nearly enough about "papercuts" in a relationship.

Every time there are raised voices, cruel words, lack of support,

short temper, lack of affection, etc., a tiny wound is created.

Not enough to make you leave, but enough to make part of you

pull away and lose a little love every time.

Meet again

 until we meet again.

in english we say, "until we meet again."

in poetry, we say, "and on that beautiful

morning, every emptiness i felt at your

absence, every breath i counted in the

days and years where i could no longer

share the earth with you and every ache

that pierced my lungs with the kind of pain

that takes the place of only the very deepest

kinds of love, will be brought to a hush in

a single instant, and there will be great

rejoicing."

ullie-kaye

Unfinished

 A Love That Could Have Been

I think of you on quiet nights,

in the spaces where "what if" still lingers.

Not as a regret,

but as a love that was never given enough time

to grow into what it could have been.

Maybe we were meant to meet,

but not meant to last.

Maybe we were only ever supposed 

to be a reminder

of how powerful love can be,

even when it is unfinished.

Challenge

 I forgive myself

for viewing someone's 

lack of reciprocation

as a challenge to

convince them of 

my worth.

Move on

 Move on..

Move on like you never knew them;

because in reality...

you didn't.

Wrong place

 By Brad Lea

A steak can be $7 from a butcher,

$10 at a supermarket.

$25 at a diner,

and $150 at a high-end restaurant.

Same steak.

Only thing that changed was location.

The next time you feel you're worthless,

ask yourself if you're just in the wrong place.

How much

 "And the worst part is that you don't

understand how much you're hurting me."

Keep on shining

 From Queen Luciano

Admit it. You got a dope soul. Stop

regretting being a caring person. Who ever

got to experience you, needed your light at

that time. You stay kind, and committed to

your love. Don't you dare doubt your worth

or the beauty of your truth. Just keep on

shining like you do.

Part of me

 "I love you not only for what you are,

but for what I am when I am with you.

I love you not only for what 

you have made of yourself,

but for what you are making of me.

I love you for the part of me

that you bring out."

~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Blame

you can blame the

bee for the sting, 

but you learn nothing

from that.

the bee is what it

always was.

sooner or later you

have to find fault

in yourself for

believing it could

be something else.

~JmStorm

Stopped choosing

 From Peaceofdeace

They didn't drift away.

They slowly stopped choosing you.

And you felt it. 

In the way their texts got shorter.

In the way their energy shifted.

In the way your presence became something they tolerated

instead of something they treasured.

They didn't wake up one day and change.

They just started caring less --

bit by bit,

day by day.

And you kept giving.

Kept overthinking.

Kept blaming yourself

for a disconnection they silently created.

But don't confuse emotional distance

with destiny.

Don't mistake their indifference

as a reflection of your worth.

You didn't lose them.

They let go without telling you.

And now, it's your turn to do what they couldn't:

Close the door

with the same silence

they left you in. 

Please heal

 Please heal

so you can see that

attention is not love,

attachment is not connection,

and bare minimum is not effort

If they

 From Peaceofdeace

If they wanted to talk to you, they would.

If they cared, you wouldn't be confused.

Read that again -- slowly.

People make time for what matters.

They don't forget the ones they love.

They don't go days without checking in

if their heart is truly involved.

So stop writing paragraphs

for someone who gives you one-word replies.

Stop overthinking your every move

just to keep their interest.

Stop calling inconsistency "busy" 

and silence "space".

You deserve communication without chasing.

Reassurance without begging.

Love without wondering.

And I know --

you want to believe they're just going through

something.

But you're the one carrying the weight

while they keep you waiting.

The truth?

If it's mutual, 

you won't have to keep proving it.

Have to ask

 If I have to ask for flowers,

I no longer want them.

And that applies to everything --

love, attention, appreciation.

Because the moment I have to ask,

it's no longer given freely. It's only

happening because I asked. And

that changes everything.

~@mamiiworthy

The invitation

 From Cameron Hannah

Weak men fear powerful women.

Not because they're wrong --

But because she reflects everything they're too

afraid to become.

She doesn't intimidate him because she's too much.

She intimidates him because he's not enough.

Not yet.

Not in his body.

Not in his mission.

Not in his truth.

And so he tries to shrink her.

Tame her.

Control her.

Mock her.

Judge her.

Because if he truly saw her...he'd have to confront everything he's not.

The men who complain about women being too "masculine" are the same men who haven't stepped into their own masculine.

She had to lead.

She had to protect herself.

She had to survive. Because no man showed her what it meant to be safe.

Powerful women don't want to lead forever.

They want to soften.

But they won't sacrifice themselves for a man who hasn't grown.

You want her to respect you?

Then you better be building something worth respecting.

A life.

A backbone.

A mission.

A kingdom.

You don't need to silence her.

You need to awaken yourself.

Because the moment you rise...she will relax.

She's not the problem. She's the invitation.

Yourself

Seeking validation is the same as saying,

"Tell me who I am, tell me what I'm worth."

Tell yourself.

Lost someone

I may have lost

someone who didn't

love me, but you lost

someone who truly

loves you.

Loved right

 From Peaceofdeace

You didn't love them wrong.

You just loved someone who wasn't ready to be

loved right.

You gave fully.

You were patient.

You listened between the silences

and forgave things you never spoke about.

And still --

they pulled away.

Not because your love was flawed,

but because their wounds were louder than your

presence.

You tried to be their peace,

but they weren't done choosing chaos.

You tried to be their safe place,

but they weren't done running from themselves.

And I know that hurts.

Because when your love is real,

you believe it can heal.

But it's not your job

to fix what they won't face.

To carry what they keep dropping.

To break yourself

trying them make them whole.

You didn't mess this up.

They just weren't ready for the very thing

they said they were searching for.

Imagine

 Imagine making the

 mother of your child's life

difficult when her whole

life is surrounded by

providing security, love

and safety for your child.

Reaction

 Silence after disrespect isn't

weakness --it's self control.

Some people don't deserve a

reaction.

~@lonewolfmotivation

You are

 You are not a one in a 

million kind of girl. You are

a once in a lifetime kind of

woman. Remember that. 

The mountain

 One day, the mountain that is in 

front of you will be so far behind

you, it will barely be visible in the

distance. But the person you

became in learning to get over it?

That will stay with you forever -

and that is the point of the 

mountain.

Some people

 Some people will

walk all over you

with the shoes you

bought them.

Indifference

 From Choose Yourself

There was a time when she would voice every

concern, fight for every little thing, and hold on

with all her strength. She cared enough to argue,

to ask for more, to hope that things would change.

But silence is louder than any complaint, and when

she stops speaking up, it's not because everything

is fine -- it's because she no longer sees the point.

The woman who once begged to be understood

now simply watches, detached and distant, as she

slowly lets go.

Indifference is the final goodbye long before she

walks away. No more questions, so more

expectations -- just a quiet acceptance that what

once mattered no longer does. When a woman

stops complaining, it's not peace, it's resignation.

And by the time you notice the silence, she's

already made up her mind.

~Balt Rodriguez

Try to change

A healthy man will try to change if

he's hurting you. A toxic man will

ask why you stay if he's so bad.

Read that again.