Shattered-Part One

This is a book that was brought to my attention by the Kimballs/Getzingers. It's called Shattered: Surviving the Loss of A Child by Gary Roe. Lydia emailed me a link to the book, so it's easy to read at work. It's amazing so far! It's broken up into little digestible parts. Here are some notes from Part One.

Part One  The Emotional Impact

Chapter 1   Shock: "This Can't Be Real!"
"The only education in grief that any of us ever gets is a crash course." -Gail Calwell

Chapter 2   Stunned: "I Can Hardly Talk"

Chapter 3   Surreal: "This Is So Weird"
Living in an alternate universe (so true!)
"Everything is weird now. You're not here anymore, and I don't want that to be real."

Chapter 4   Sadness: "It's All So Sad"
"I'm terribly sad. That's natural. I love you and miss you desperately."

Chapter 5   Anger:  "I Might Explode!"

Chapter 6   Anxiety: "I'm Anxious About Everything Now"
Anything can happen at any time to ourselves or to anyone we love and we care about:
anxiety is the natural result.

"I'm anxious. That's natural. Losing you is traumatic."
 
Just breathe

Chapter 7   Fear:  "I'm Terrified"
"No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear." -C.S. Lewis

"No wonder I'm afraid. Your death is like a nightmare."

Chapter 8   Guilt:  "It's My Fault"
"Grief is an ocean, and guilt the undertow that pulls me beneath the waves and drowns me."
-Shaun David Hutchinson

Chapter 9   Bitter:  "I Feel Poisoned"
Pain can produce bitterness

Chapter 10   Numb:  "I'm Not Sure I Feel Anything"

Chapter 11   Lost:  "I Feel Like A Shadow"

So much of our lives revolve around our kids that whenever one of them exits, at whatever age, they leave a huge, gaping hole in our existence.

Feeling lost can come from a sense of total separation from your child. Part of grieving is keeping them alive in your heart. They are a part of you and staying connected to them somehow is important.

Chapter 12   Depressed:  "The Color is Gone"
"Life without you is depressing. No wonder I feel this way."