Shattered-Part Four

Part Four   The Spiritual Impact

Chapter 26   Spiritual Confusion:  "I'm Not Sure What I Believe Anymore"

One thing is certain-our spiritual life, whatever we define that to be, will change. It cannot stay the same. We will either choose to grow deeper into our beliefs, distance ourselves from them, or adopt new ones (or a combo of all these).

"I wonder about a lot now. I'm sure of some things, but less sure of others."

"Hang on. Survive. I wandered, but in the end my faith saved me."

Chapter 27   Anger With God:  "How Could God Let This Happen?"
"Something inside this heart has died." -Unknown

Anger with God about a child's death is a common reaction for our shattered hearts.

"I'm angry with God. I'll honor you, my child, by dealing responsibly with that anger."

Chapter 28   Spiritual Searching:  "Where is (He) Now?"
"Not all those who wander are lost."  -J.R.R. Tolkien

Did our child just cease to exist? Are they alive in another dimension? Are they a spirit now, or do they have a body too? Would we recognize them? Where are they now? What are they doing? Who are they with? Are they happy? How does all this work? Can we know anything for sure?

comfort and hope

"I want to know about you, my child. I need answers. I will search for them."

"Figure out what you believe and why. What you believe must be bigger than your loss."

Chapter 29   Spiritual Numbness:  "I Feel Dead Inside"
"There is an empty place within me where my heart once was."  -George Martin

"This will probably be the worst thing you will ever go through. Hold onto your faith and your memories. Nothing can take these away from you."

Chapter 30   Guilt-Punishment:  "God Won't Forgive Me, and I Can't Forgive Myself"
"But of all of Heaven's lessons, guilt isn't one of them. You don't need to hold onto it. It doesn't need to be a practice and it shouldn't be your life."  -Tessa Shaffer
(Side note: This is helpful to me for other things I've been contemplating recently relative to my faith and my marriage)

Someone is to blame. Someone should pay. We're the parents. Who's more responsible than we are?

In grief and in life, we often confuse being responsible with being in control. That never works, because it's simply not true.