The Revenge of a Good Life

The title of this is a little weird and I almost didn't read it, but I'm glad I did. It's from the #OCA series, and it was written by Tamara Gabriel.

Looking back on where I am today, I realize that every step in my life somehow prepared me for my worst nightmare...I had to learn to be tough...I think having the foundation and the influence of great faith served me well in the midst of multiple tragedies.

(She was in an abusive marriage, had two miscarriages, had her own health issues which affected her work, didn't get any financial support from family when she left her husband)

It took me a while to get on my feet, but I finally got my own place with my two children...I received no support from my family and a lot of anger from my husband's family.

But life was settling. For the first time in a long time, there was no yelling, no negativity, and I could live my life the way I wanted to. (Her son moved in with her parents because of some emotional disorders).

One day, Janna and I were on our way to visit a friend telling jokes and laughing when my car lost control and hydroplaned and ended up on the other side of the road. Janna was airlifted and I was taken to a local hospital. Our family came together, but unfortunately Janna died a week later due to head injuries. I wanted to die because I felt she was the only one who ever loved me unconditionally.

(Started drinking heavily-wanted to punish herself for killing her daughter)

(Started attending Alcoholics Anonymous)

My mom said "the best revenge is the revenge of a good life," and that stuck with me. Why kill myself when I can stay alive and piss everyone off because they will all have to deal with me?

I have been told I'm strong, but I just tell others that I am rebellious. I have gratitude for everything and I put my trust in God. It has also been said in the book of Job, that whatever you lose you will be replaced with tenfold.

(Tells what she has gone through)

I live every aspect of my life in memory of my daughter so that her death will not be in vain...My family is back in my life and has also moved close to me as well. What I lost in my daughter, I have gained tenfold...

There is life after death, and I believe my husband (her new one) is my reward for all that I have been through.

I love helping people and never want them to feel alone and like nobody cares. I have felt that way and know the pain. But I also know that every step in my life brought me to where I am today and he gifts of forgiveness, compassion, and unconditional love have helped to heal all the wounds of the past, creating a better future.

Taking that first step toward healing all started with me.