Gretchen gets it. Period. I will tell you what I mean directly related to you because it feels like some of my recent posts don't even have much to do with you. Sorry about that.
Today was the London family reunion. Always a joy. Last night I stayed up late locating, washing and drying the reunion shirts only to find out this morning that Grandma Elsie suggested we wear our Hayden shirts. I was a little disappointed that we weren't going to wear the reunion shirts and that they were going to sit on a shelf for another year before they are worn again, but I agreed to it because it felt funny to object to it.
When we got to the reunion and the Ardners showed up, they were wearing just regular stuff. I told Gretchen that Elsie had asked us to wear the Hayden shirts. She said she knew and that she asked them too but they decided not to. The next paragraph explains why.
When we were catching up over lunch, I mentioned how the one-year anniversary is coming up. I said we weren't sure how to handle it but we heard that a special service was being planned possibly at church because of a suggestion from an extended family member. That blew me away as no one has approached us about anything. I asked Pastor who that was but he didn't say who in his most recent reply. I'm thinking it's Becky. Gretchen agreed with this and said that they aren't going to participate in anything unless we invite them, no one else. She knows that we might just want to be left alone that day. I really appreciated her saying that. I told her I felt pressured to address the issue because I felt if I didn't that someone else would. And I was right.
Who does Becky think she is to just take over without asking us? She has never lost a kid. She doesn't know what it's like. She barely knew you too. We were discussing the time of your accident and Gretchen said that there was no reason for her or Brenda (or Dad for that matter) to stay overnight at the hospital past Friday, especially since you were already gone. She asked them to leave I think on Sunday to give us some time with you and Becky got all upset and said, "Gretchen said we have to leave!" What's her problem? It was so disrespectful.
Gretchen told me too that she was at the cemetery the other day and was just getting in her car to leave when a car drove up behind her (she didn't know who it was at first) and they were honking all the way into the cemetery until they pulled up behind her and it was Becky! What is her problem? In a cemetery?
Anyway, Gretchen and I had another great talk (with our feet in the lake) and covered all kinds of things, like how money problems can make marriage so much harder (which is so true), how much we've struggled in general, some of the ins and outs of when they lost their home and Grandma Elsie "bought" it to get it out of foreclosure at a variable rate and then changed her mind when it was time to refinance, etc. I guess a lot of it was about money. It's a problem! When someone isn't making enough or any but still making bad decisions with it, etc. Among another million things.
She also said she can't believe how I let Grandma Elsie move in with us (I still can't either) and I told her that she was supposed to help with bills, etc. and she didn't. There were so many other things. Talking to her is like therapy for me. I thank the Lord for her and I thank the Lord for YOU! Love you!
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