Things I Know

Saving this topic for future writing on details/facts about the accident that I definitely know and why I know them.

I know God loves me.

I know God loves Hayden.

I know that Hayden wasn't distracted because he was texting, talking on the phone or on the internet. I know this because the phone records don't show any activity around that time.

I know that Hayden didn't swerve in front of the truck on purpose because he couldn't have seen it coming over the hill.

I know Hayden wasn't aware that he was crossing the center line because he didn't react when the other car (before the truck) got out of his way. If he had just been temporarily distracted, he would have noticed and tried to swerve back into his lane.

I know he didn't try to swerve back into his lane or he wasn't too far in the other lane when the other car got out of his way because of the angle his car hit the truck. It was an offset crash where he the two front ends clipped and bounced off and hit Hayden's driver's side.

I knew before I was told it was an offset crash by the tow yard and not a head-on crash as reported by the Ann Arbor News because of the damage to the driver's side and the trajectory of both vehicles.

I know that the truck couldn't swerve out of the way when he saw Hayden in his lane because of the hill.

I know that Wagner Rd. is dangerous because there are mostly ditches on each side of it and when somebody crosses the center line, there is nowhere for the other car to safely go. (Thanks to Jeanette Brenner for pointing that out to me).

I know that there have been many fatal accidents on this road.

I know that Hayden was very familiar with Wagner Rd. because he drove it all the time to Quality 16, Skyline, etc.

I know that Hayden was a good driver.

I know that the Sable was a safe car.

I know Hayden wouldn't want to hurt himself or anyone else.

I know Hayden was saved and is now in Heaven.

I know that I will see Hayden again.

I know that it is better for Hayden to be with the Lord than it is for him to be here. I know this because the best day of a Christian's life is the day he dies.

I know that Hayden's death was used to glorify the Lord. I know this because the gospel was clearly preached at his service at a time when people were contemplating life and death issues. I also know that many earthly relationships were mended as a result of his death.

I know that Hayden feels close to me and he tries to communicate with me. I know this because of songs that come on and other "coincidences" that occur that can only be him. For that I am thankful because I never expected that.

I know that I was a good mother to him.

I know I have no regrets except the regret of not having more time with him and not actually saying "goodbye", just "goodnight".

I know that when he is in my dreams it is really him because I can feel that it is really him. I am also extremely thankful for that.

I know that God knew that Hayden would be on this earth for 17 years, 10 months and 3 days.

I know that I will miss him every day of my life.

(I just realized that this was not addressed to you as it usually is. I think I will leave it though. I might add to this-I just wanted to record some of these thoughts for when I questions things, I can come back to this. By the way, I love seeing your name).