Miserable

 from "Old Collection"

How to Be Miserable

1.  Use "I" as often as possible.

2.  Always be sensitive to slights.

3.  Be jealous and envious.

4.  Think only about yourself.

5.  Talk only about yourself.

6.  Trust no one.

7.  Never forget a criticism.

8.  Always expect to be appreciated.

9.  Be suspicious.

10. Listen greedily to what others say of you.

11. Always look for faults in others.

12. Do as little as possible for others.

13. Shirk your duties if you can.

14. Never forget a service you have rendered.

15. Sulk if people aren't grateful for your favors.

16. Insist on consideration and respect.

17. Demand agreement with your own view on everything.

18. Always look for a good time.

19. Love yourself first.

20. Be selfish at all times.