This is a book I read a few times by a pastor whose young daughter died. It's really good. I am going to re-read it and take notes.
Introduction The Naked Eye
(You know there's going to be a lot of notes when even the intro is included!)
"It's as though I am in an abandoned movie theater inside my mind, being forced to watch archival footage from a horror movie that is my life."
(Wanted to save this song reference: Christ Tomlin's "I Will Rise")
"Every moment of every day, you are in an invisible battle that ever rages on."
"...every moment of every day, we must make the all-important choice of whether we will rely on the naked eye. Will we trust what we can see if there, or believe what God says is there?"
2 Corinthians 4:18: So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
"...the issue isn't whether your life is going well or falling apart; the question is, what makes you so sure you can tell the difference?"
Section heading Present But Not Always Accounted For
Story of Elisha and his servant Gehazi when soldiers were coming after them: He told his servant that there were more their side than on their enemies'. Elisha prayed that Gehazi would see with his own eyes and when he looked outside again, he saw a bigger army. The angels didn't show up when G's eyes were opened. They were there but he couldn't see them.
"He now understood that the thing that had him surrounded was itself surrounded by God. So it always is."
Section heading Hidden In Plain Sight
stargazing-even when you can't see the stars, they are still there
"No matter what time of day or night it is, there are always stars in the sky. Just because you can't see them doesn't mean they aren't there."
"What you think you see is not all that is there. There are unseen things. Spiritual things. Eternal things."
seeing life this way will not only allow you to perceive the invisible, it will give you strength to do the impossible
Chapter One Destined For Impact
"When you don't recognize the value of what you have in your hands, you will always get from it far less than what it is worth."
talking about you
Section heading You Are the One, Neo
"There are things God intends for you to accomplish that no one else has been chosen for."
"But if you don't understand that calling, you will undervalue it."
Section heading You Matter More Than You Know
God made you
Lets us make our own decisions
Immortal
What God was willing to spend to redeem you and give you hope
"There is no higher price that has ever been paid for anything in history."
You have been entrusted with the Holy Spirit
You have been given gifts and unique privileges
Have been tasked with greatest mission-the Great Commission
Section heading Royal Representatives and Spiritual Superheroes
part of royal line of heaven-kings and priests to our God
we get to represent God
today your life is made up of moments that don't feel all that special
doing things in an entirely new way
example of getting pupils dilated and everything close seems fuzzy but you can see far away
"My aim is for God to use this book to dilate the eyes of your soul so that you will see things as laser sharp that are yet far off, and so that all the things that seem so real, but are not going to last, would lose their crispness."
Chapter Two Cows Die There
sometimes there is more than one good option
Job in will of God-didn't know it at the time
faith-necessary part of process
Section heading Levi's Genes (parents' testimonies)
Section heading Breaking Bad
"...I had too much of the truth in me to be happy in the world, but too much of the world in me to be happy in the truth."
"Corrie Ten Boom's sister Betsie said, 'There is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still.'"
Section heading Killer Dana
Section heading Our Gatorade Just Froze
can cut butterflies out of cocoons but will never develop the strength they need in their wings to be able to achieve takeoff
flight only comes after the fight
figuring things out for yourself is valuable
(Personal note: I've often felt very physically alone in this grief journey, but some of it you just have to figure out for yourself. It's based on the relationship between Hayden and I and no one knows exactly how that was besides me and him)
Section heading Fresh Life
"The fingerprints of God are often invisible until you look at them in the rearview mirror."
"Discerning God's calling is more a relationship than a route, more journey than destination. It's about who you are becoming more than where you are going. Perhaps it's less about what you do and more about how well you do whatever you do. It's not something you have to sit around waiting for; it's something that's all around you, even now. It's here and it's ready, if you would just open your eyes."
Chapter Three The Christmas From Hell
"Death doesn't always call ahead. It comes to us in a lot of ways, but often it is a surprise."
"So too, when death came to our home, it blindsided us. To say that we weren't expecting it is putting it mildly. It came out of nowhere and delivered a sucker punch so fast that we didn't have the chance to even think about flexing. Like a thunderous blow to the solar plexus, it knocked the wind out of us and left us gasping for breath on an emergency room floor."
Section heading Nightmare Before Christmas
"I had seen God do the impossible in my life. Dreams had come true. Now, my worst nightmare had too. I would have died on the spot if it could have helped (him). But I wasn't given that option. There was no miracle. (His) body remained motionless. (He) was pronounced dead."
(Personal note: I looked up when she died and it was on a Thursday, Dec. 20th)
no title for parent who loses a child
"Though we were afraid, we were not alone. We experienced peace that passes understanding. Everything we preached in the sunshine we believed in this valley--the valley of the shadow of death. We lifted our hands to the air, right there in the ER, and blessed the name of God who gives and takes away."
Section heading Shock and Awe
C.S. Lewis: Crying is all right in its way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you will still have to decide what to do.
"It was difficult and traumatizing to confront death in such a savage and vicious way on a day that was supposed to be so much fun. If we did not have hope, I honestly don't know how we could have stood up to it. It was terrible to face it even with the promise that Christ had conquered the grave."
Section heading The Gift of Sight
Jesus was the first and ultimate organ donor
"To think of a part of our (son) helping people see or enabling someone to go through lifesaving surgery that could give him or her more time to come to know Jesus was too beautiful of an opportunity to pass on."
There was an asterisk at the bottom of the page the past two times I read this, so I wanted to record it: "Throughout this book I will refer to (Hayden) in the past tense. This is not only difficult to do, but it feels dishonest, as I know that she is today more alive than (he) has ever been. I do so for clarity and because (he) has finished her race and fought the good fight, not because (his) life is over."
"I hated the world for not having (him) in it any more."
"I have also been given the gift of sight. Having my (son) travel to the distant shores of heaven has opened my eyes to things unseen."
Chapter Four Turn Off the Dark
Section heading The Message
The light of Jesus' birth turns off four things:
(1) Loneliness
(2) Fear
(3) Despair
(4) Guilt
One more thing-death!
Section heading Preach the Word, Dad!
realized there would be hole in every picture we look from here on out
2 Timothy 1:10: but has now been revealed by the appearing of our Savior Jesus Christ, who has abolished death and immortality to light through the gospel
Section heading Sorrow Upon Sorrow
Hebrews 2:15: and release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage
Philippians 2:27: For indeed he was sick almost unto death; but God had mercy on him, and not only on him but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow.
describes waves crashing on the shore
randomness to pattern
"No wonder Paul compared grief to the viciousness of dangerous surf. Grief is powerful and unpredictable. Your skin flushes, your heart burns, and your eyes sting. It's very difficult to keep your thoughts collected, and all but impossible to keep your emotions at bay. With the expection of when you're under the influence of drugs or alcohol, grief is probably the most powerful mood/mind/body-altering state you can be in, especially in the initial shocking of the aftermath of the traumatic event that caused it."
"Then one day you feel good--and you feel bad for feeling good."
Sorrow upon sorrow upon sorrow, with a side of sorrow
Paul sad even though he knew heaven is for real and he had been there (that's where Philippians 1:21 came from: For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain)
Section heading Hurting With Hope
hurting with hope still hurts
there will be something missing the rest of our lives
God's not happy about it either: "He knew that sin would trigger death. He never intended for us to struggle in the surf, with wave after wave after wave of sadness crashing down upon us."
Lazarus-Jesus groaned in spirit
became angry at death, enough to do something about it
"Any physical miracle is just a delaying of the inevitable."
Jesus always focused on spiritual work because that lasts forever
"The thing we normally focus on--tangible demonstrations of God moving--was a failure to Jesus if it didn't accompany something greater that happened on an invisible level!"
Jesus used death against Satan-Hebrews 2:14: Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of the flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil
The gospel: Jesus turned off the dark
God is not finished yet
"If there is one thing you need to know about God, it's that he always gets the last word."
2 Timothy 2:10 (already quoted earlier)--abolished
future event in past tense--something that hasn't happened yet, but because it is so certain to occur it can be referred to as having been completed already
only God can make promises like that
"God doesn't have to build any buffers in the promises he makes, because (a) he is outside time, and what he will do is already complete to him... and (b) there is no one who can stop him, and nothng can stand in his way."
Section heading Carved in Stone
(Personal note:even though some of these headings don't have notes, it helps me to keep track of where I'm at)
Section heading Preaching in Pain
2 Corinthians 5:8: We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.
(Personal note: I have Bible Gateway pulled up as a tab so I can go back and forth to look up Bible verses. Very handy!)
Section heading Coming Full Circle
Chapter Five No Inhalers in Heaven
we have one in the target, (two) in the quiver
"The same (day) that was the worst of our lives by far was the beginning of endless summer and joy unspeakable. (He) fell asleep on earth and woke up in the presence of the Father of eternity. While we began to live a nightmare, (he) had woken up from the dream of this life, and a bright and glorious day was dawning that would never end."
Section heading The Easy Part and the Hard Part
"Heaven is a place, like New York or Paris. Untainted by sin and disease, and unspoiled by evil, it is like earth, only better. Heaven is full of laughter and play, eating and drinking, working and exploring--all infused and energized by the presence of God and pulsating with holy wonder. When I think about (Hayden) being there, I don't picture (him) looking back longingly at (his) life here on earth, wishing (he) could go back, like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite. I see (him) riding a horse down the beach, (his) hair whipped by the warm wind, a huge smile across (his) face. (He) is living in the midst of (his) glory days and no doubt is thrilled when (he) thinks of us getting to join (him) there."
desperate to learn (that's how I was/am)
Section heading Breaking Camp
2 Corinthians 5: For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed with our habitation which is from heaven, if indeed, having been clothed, we shall not be found naked. For we who are in this tent groan, being burdened, not because we want to be unclothed, but further clothed, that mortality may be swallowed up by life. Now He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who also has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. For we walk by faith, not by sight. We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord. (vv.1-8)
this life is a camping trip
eventually-tent irreparable so can't be used anymore
"The tent that you leave behind is not you. You are not your body. You will never be buried. There is not a single person in the cemetery. Those who used to inhabit those tents have moved on into eternity. Death is not the end of the road; it's just a bend in the road."
have to reframe thinking
Section heading Death Was Never the End of the Story
resolving to believe
John 5:28-29: Do not marvel at this; for the hour is coming in which all who are in the graves will hear His voice and come forth--those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation.
cemetery-temporary sleeping place
1 Corinthians 15: 42-44: So also is the resurrection of the dead. The body is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption. It's sown in dishonor; it's raised in glory. It's sown in weakness, it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body.
we will return to our bodies once again
intermediate state now
location suitable for living with a body
1 Corinthians 15:55: O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?
RIP- Raised In Power
Chapter Six Cue the Eagle
Ring of Fire-last step of birth, first step of grief
pregnancy in reverse
"Nothing can ever be as severe as the initial crushing blow when the person you love is torn from you."
next-heavy sorrow
no longer in shock-can feel more pain
when something ripped out, always a hole
God can coat raw and jagged edges in grace like a pearl in an oyster
being able to enjoy life doesn't mean you don't miss the person who is gone
enjoy bittersweetness and longing as proof of love
"Just as pregnancy has a pleasurable beginning and a painful ending, grief starts with something brutal and ends with something beautiful: heaven."
Section heading Saturdays
between Jesus' burial on Friday and his resurrection on Sunday
"Perhaps for those in heaven, Saturday is 'Narnia time," lasting just a second, since to the Lord a thousand years is as a day and a day as a thousand years (2 Peter 3:8). Maybe when we get to heaven, it will be like going through a wormhole in the movie Interstellar (you loved that movie!) and we will all enter heaven's gates just moments from each other, no matter how many years apart we died."
Saturday lasts way too long
Section heading Eagle Alert
"Living with your heart set on heaven but your feet still on earth is not easy."
"...as a blood-bought child of the King of Kings, you have the right to cue the eagle anytime you need to."
Isaiah 40:30-31: Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not be faint.
graveyard spiral
"I am not superstitious, but that was superspecial."
Section heading Take Heart
heart also translated as courageousness-take it from His hand
"The truth is, your heart will get lost if you let it."
Psalm 27: 13-14: I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!
Chapter Seven There's No Such Thing As a Wireless Anchor
symbol of the anchor stands for hope
Hebrews 6:19: This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil
"And because of hope, even in the midst of the worst storms of our life, we have an anchor for our souls."
"The most important battle is the one you fight within, in your mind and heart, to not give up."
Section heading But What Is Hope?
"...to have hope is to believe that something good is going to happen. That help is on the way. That it's not over yet, and no matter how dark it seems, there's going to be light at the end of the tunnel. Hope is a confident expectation. A joyful anticipation. An active, dynamic, energizing enthusiasm. When you have hope, gale-force winds can blow and tsunami waves can smash into the hull of your life, but you are buoyed by the belief that the best is yet to come, that brighter days are ahead. Hope quietly tells your heart that all is not lost, even as storms rage. Our hope is a living hope, because Jesus lives forever."
we are anchored to heaven by Jesus
to be effective, an anchor has to be attached to something
the Holy Spirit is the chain to the anchor
Section heading Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear
"(He) is with him, and he is in me."
we are holding hands with the one holding (Hayden)
"The more we are filled with the Spirit, the more heaven comes near."
Section heading The Gospel According To Iron Man
important to gather together with the church-feel closest to (Hayden)
Section heading Planted, Plugged In, Prepared
train for the trial you're not yet in
strength of lions comes from whole pride
trials reveal foundations, whether sand or rock
Chapter Eight Pain Is A Microphone
my pain can be used to give hope and courage to others
Section heading There Will Be Blood
"Suffering isn't an obstacle to being used by God. It is an opportunity to be used like never before."
used powerfully and suffer greatly
pain is guaranteed
the world hates Jesus and hates His followers too
Section heading Crushed Like An Olive
anointed like kings and priests
no anointing without a crushing
A.W. Tozer: It is doubtful whether God could ever bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply.
Section heading Nothing Is Wasted
the more we hurt, the louder we become
must not be selfish with your pain
Two reasons why your volume gets louder as life gets harder:
(1) when you're going through a great time of trial, people around you tend to get quieter
want to see if your claims are true
(2) in trials, you can hear God better because He is closer
"There's perhaps no time you are as powerful as when you minister in the midst of pain."
hard times are a passport to get to places you wouldn't be otherwise-i.e. hospital, etc.
Section heading A Door Unlocked
Section heading Impossible Pain, Incredible Power
brings peace to your own heart to help others
think about others who helped you
the more impossible your pain, the more incredible the power he will bring out of it
God gives his toughest assignments to his most trusted soldiers
"God doesn't cause bad things to happen, but he is sovereign, and nothing happens outside his permission."
"His endgame is to sabotage all your suffering and use what was meant for evil to accomplish his purposes."
"I also want you to believe in Jesus' name that there will come a day when the devil will regret ever asking God's permission to give you your trials, because you will end up twice as blessed as you started out."
Section heading Sight For the Blind
pray about the people you are opened up to reach through your microphone called pain
Chapter Nine Homesickness: An Ache You Can't Shake
camping analogy from 2 Corinthians:5-we are on our way home
Section heading Hardwired To Chase Heaven
rush of feeling of being home
"All of us have been hardwired to pursue eternity, to chase heaven, our true homeland."
Randy Alcorn from book "Heaven" (I don't know if I will do notes on that book-it's huge!): You have been made for a person and a place. That person is Jesus, and that place is heaven.
Section heading Groaning: The Soundtrack To Our Homesickness
nostalgia: return home + pain=discomfort you feel when longing to get back to your home
spiritual homesickness-not actually a desire to go back to a place where we used to live, it's an aching for a place where we will live one day
future nostalgia: homesick for a place we have never been
groan: to sigh with anxiety or to yearn
Romans 8:22: For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now.
things aren't as they are supposed to be
Section heading Wrecked-and Reset
all the code here on earth has been compromised
Section heading Lean In To the Groan
Romans 8:19-22: For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly; but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now.
earnest expectation
"When you heart is properly focused on the things that are to come instead of paralyzed by the hard and the horrible things you have had to handle, you are postured to be effective in the present."
Quote from C.S. Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia": "You do not look so happy as I mean you to be." Lucy said, "We're so afraid of being sent away, Aslan. And you have sent us back to our own world so often." "No fear of that," said Aslan. "Have you not guessed?" Their hearts leaped and a wild hope rose within them. "There was a real railway accident," said Aslan softly. "Your father and mother and all of you are-as you used to call it in the Shadowlands-dead. The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning." And as He spoke He no longer looked to them like a lion; but the things that began to happen after that were so great and beautiful that I cannot write them."
Chapter 10 Panem Et Circenses
Section heading Satan: A Lying Hyena
The devil is headed to hell but wants to take as many people with him as possible to hurt God
If you are saved, Satan can't do anything about it, but he can try to keep you from taking anyone to heaven
he can't make you do anything-you always have a choice
we often underestimate our enemy's creativity
Section heading Satan's Weapon: Bread and Circuses
food and entertainment
destruction by distraction-good things that take the place of the most important things
Section heading We Don't Belong Here
Philippians 3:19: whose end is destruction, whose god is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame-who set their mind on earthly things
On receiving his child's death certificate in the mail: "Seeing (his) beautiful name on such a ghastly document was crushing."
"Salvation affects spiritual citizenship because it is an event that encompasses both birth and death."
Colossians 3:3: For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
Section heading Corrective Lenses
"That is the goodness of grief, the grace of suffering. The flood of sorrow blasting its way through your soul wipes out attention previously devoted to trivial things."
can almost taste heaven
as though a lens that was misaligned in my soul jolted into place
my soul cries out for what my (son) is experiencing
Section heading I Seek a Homeland
must make an ongoing decision to walk in faith
we are pilgrims
E.M. Bounds: Heaven ought to draw and engage us. Heaven ought to so fill our hearts and hands, our manner, and our conversation, our character, and our features, that all would see that we are foreigners, strangers to this world...The very atmosphere of the world should be chilling to us and noxious, its suns eclipsed and its companionship dull and insipid. Heaven is our native land and home to us, and death to us is not the dying hour, but the birth hour.
Section heading The Harm of Being Hybrid
keep your eyes on heaven
Chapter Eleven Run Toward the Roar
disorienting endlessness to suffering that makes it easy to lose your bearings
gut reaction is to run away
Section heading The Nearest Lion May Be Behind You
example of hunting lions and lionesses-the lion roars and the prey runs away from the roar to the hiding lioness, in other words, the prey's instincts are wrong
when you get fight-or-flight sensation run towards the roar
don't let anything sneak up on you
can't let fear play a part in decision-making
for there to be faith, there has to be mystery
Section heading Let It (the Fear of Failure) Go
Section heading A Manifesto in the Face of Fear
what choice do we have but to make it through?
Section heading Facing Up to Mr. Freeze
facing your fears
"I dare you to believe that the day will come where what you are most scared of right now will be included in your highlight reel as a triumphant victory."
Chapter Twelve Pencils Down
inevitability of you dropping dead
life is a timed test
James 4:13-14: "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit"; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away."
Section heading Premonitions
1 Samuel 20:3: Then David took an oath again, and said, "Your father certainly knows that I have found favor in your eyes, and he has said, 'Do not let Jonathon know this, lest he be grieved.' But truly, as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, there is but a step between me and death."
death is not a departure, it is also an arrival
"The Two Ships" by Francis Bret Harte
As I stand by the cross on the lone mountain's crest,
Looking over the ultimate sea,
In the gloom of the mountain a ship lies at rest,
And one sails away from the lea:
One spreads its white wings on a far-reaching track,
With pennant and sheet flowing free;
One hides in the shadow with sails laid aback,-
The ship that is waiting for me!
But lo, in the distance the clouds break away!
The Gate's glowing portals I see;
And I hear from the outgoing ship in the bay
The song of the sailors in glee:
So I think of the luminous footprints that bore
The comfort o'er dark Galilee,
And wait for the signal to go to the shore
To the ship that is waiting for me.
Section heading Plus Ultra and Carpe Diem
more beyond
recap of book: you are destined for impact, there is a price you will have to pay to activate your calling, the devil will do anything he can to stop you
potential is perishable
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, only what's done for Christ will last.
Warren Weirsbe, "On Being a Servant of God": It's not ability God is looking for but availability.
What we do in life echoes in eternity
Afterword To Infinity and Beyond
No comments:
Post a Comment