Everyone grieves differently

 I have heard this phrase so many times with an addition to it: "Everyone grieves differently/in their own way and there is no right or wrong way." I disagree with this statement when it comes to how a Christian should handle grief. Here are some verses to support this:

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 (this reminds me of when you would sing the books of the Bible song and you had your lisp and it came out "Firtht and Thecond Thethalonianth"):  "But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, LEST YOU SORROW AS OTHERS WHO HAVE NO HOPE (I added emphasis here). FOR IF WE BELIEVE THAT JESUS DIED AND ROSE AGAIN (emphasis added again), even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ shall rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words."

(As I was writing this, I imagined that day when your body would be awoken and come out of your grave. Wow! Thank you Lord! I can see it in my head at Marble Park cemetery. A place that I avoid now because there is nothing going on there, but one day, EVERYTHING will be going on there! Praise the Lord!)

Here's another verse, (I was reminded of this from a tile we found behind the stove that Carter made in VBS one year I think. It was marble blue and gold and he had written this verse with Sharpie on it) Romans 8:28: "And we know that ALL THINGS work together for GOOD to THOSE WHO LOVE GOD, TO THOSE WHO ARE THE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE."

This is my blog, so this is my opinion, of course, but Christians should trust in the Lord during this time and rely on His strength. They shouldn't give up on life and happiness. They shouldn't choose to spend time at a cemetery over spending time with loved ones who are alive. They shouldn't plan on starting to drink alcohol. They shouldn't avoid going to church. I realize there are feelings and thoughts to work through and deal with and a great deal of sadness (believe me on this one), but there should be a point when they come out of it even stronger on the other side. Like Pastor's book (is he ever going to come back and finish that with us?), there is the downward spiral and the upward spiral of grief. This is not a time for someone to withdraw into themselves and wallow in their own sadness. Especially when there are other people in their family to think of and who don't need to be lashed out at in anger when all they are trying to do is hang on through the day too. Can you guess who I might be talking about?

Although I don't support his ministry approach, here is a quote I wrote down from Joel Osteen: "You can come out bitter or you can come out better. There is purpose in your pain." I agree with that. There is a choice, and it should be an easy choice as a believer. If you don't, it unfortunately reveals your immaturity as a Christian.

I am not bragging that I am a better Christian than anyone else. This actually makes me very humble and thankful that God has brought me this far. For so many years, attending church, participating in ministry, taking notes at sermons that I feel like I forgot later, I would wonder what the point of it all was when it seemed like my life was not that great with marriage problems, money problems, etc. I didn't know that God was using that along the way to support me at this time. Like little drops in a bucket that filled up the bucket for me to draw on now. Thank you Lord! It's all YOU!

Here is a quote from Zig Ziglar about how so much of life is just about showing up (although I think there is another one that more directly relates to this thought): "No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up and never give up." There was a quote that I found from Woody Allen whom I don't like, but it says: "Eighty percent of success is showing up." Nothing is going to be gained by staying at home under the covers. As hard as it is, and mornings can be hard, this morning was really hard for me for some reason, we just have to KEEP GOING!

I'm sorry-this doesn't seem like all of this is written to you. When I told Nance that I had this blog but wasn't ready to share some of the things I had written because they might hurt people's feelings, etc., she said that it's more of a journal. I don't know. Why must it be defined? Ha ha. Must look up definition of blog now. Blogging about blogs. Hmmmm.

A blog is a journal that is available on the web. I don't make it available to people I know, but I think it's available to strangers who know how to access it. Sometimes key words are underlined and I will see like a certain # of page views which I think are more than mine. I don't mind that. The reason why I wanted to have one is to be able to record thoughts about you and everything that's happened. I don't want the pressure of sharing it (right now anyway) because I don't want to censor myself with my thought flow. It's helping me a lot, so I guess that's what counts. It helps me connect with you. I bet you're glad I didn't talk to you like this when you were alive! Boring!

I heard from my friend Jenny who asked for my blog address since I mentioned the Abraham Lincoln quote and translation was from my blog. I had to explain to her that it is something I am not ready to share yet-I only mentioned the fact that it was from my blog so people know that it wasn't a random thought that popped into my head-that there was some more thought behind it than that. She seemed to understand. I feel bad about it sometimes, but maybe there is a way I can share some things and not others. I'm just afraid the whole blog would be open if I shared one thing. I will have to look into that. 

I guess that about wraps that topic up for now. Love you so much!