Sunday, February 28, 2016

"When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Harold Kushnar

This book was amazing! It started out weird like I wondered if he believed in God at all. I will have to re-read the book to get some more notes, but it lifted a giant weight off my chest!

"The God I believe in does not send us the problem; He gives us the strength to cope with the problem."

2 Samuel 12: 19-23: When David saw that his servants were whispering, David perceived that the child was dead. Therefore David said to his servants, "Is the child dead?"
And they said, "He is dead."
So David arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. Then he went into his own house; and when he requested, they set food before him, and he ate. Then his servants said to him, "What is this that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child died, you arose and ate food."
And he said, "While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, "Who can tell whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?" But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me."

The book said it so much better, so I will have to get quotes, etc. but the bottom line is that suffering and death do not come from God's hand. They are part of this sin-cursed world. Most people when they are trying to make sense of tragedy try to look at it as a punishment for themselves or their loved one. It is not. Aahh-I'm not doing it justice. I will have to consult the book. God can't put a protective bubble around believers. There are laws of gravity and laws of nature that apply to everyone equally. Most tragedy is random. It doesn't care who it is. God doesn't single out certain people to strike down. He gave humans free will.  The only thing that we can do is choose how we respond to the tragedy in our lives. And that God will be there to help us through it.

The author referred to the book of Job a lot. There were three ideas that he presented that made it seem like they couldn't all be true at the same time: That God is good, that Job was good, and that God is all-powerful. (I am so botching this up. I just want to record some of the ideas that stood out to me so I can come back to this later). Anyway, I feel better about so many things!

Well, I re-read the book and I have so many notes! I guess I better get started.

"Like most people, I was aware of the human tragedies that darkened the landscape--the young people who die in car crashes,..." (this was in the foreword I think but I just kept re-reading it, so I decided to include it.)

Chapter 1:  Why Do the Righteous Suffer?
  only question that really matters
  troubled by unfair distribution of suffering in the world
  raise question about the goodness, kindness and even existence of God
  try to understand why ordinary people should have to bear extraordinary burdens of grief and pain
  one way people try to make sense of world's suffering is by assuming we deserve what we get
     limitations to this idea
        people blame themselves
        creates guilt-no basis
        makes people hate God
        does not even fit the facts
    console themselves with idea that God has His reasons for making this happen to them, reasons
     they are in no position to judge
    "weaver"explanation-no one sees this hypothetical tapestry
    "teaching a lesson"
    "pain helps us"
          not every painful thing beneficial
          never told what being punished for
          price too high for that
   "testing"because we can handle it-not a comfort
        many of us fail the test
        try to tell us tragedy comes to liberate us from a world of pain and lead us to a better place
  All responses share-God is cause of our suffering and try to understand why God would want us to
   suffer
Psalm 121:1-2 Does not say-my pain comes from the Lord, but my help comes from the Lord

Chapter 2: The Story of  a Man Named Job
   why God lets good people suffer
   what kind of God would kill innocent children and visit unbearable anguish on His most devoted
     follower in order to prove a point/win a bet with Satan?
  challenges God to appear with evidence
  God appears-what do you know about how to run a world?
  Three statements
   (1) God is all-powerful and causes everything that happens
   (2) God is just and fair and stands for people getting what the deserve
   (3) Job is a good person
 which one to sacrifice to prove others true
 blaming the victim
 God may choose to be fair but can we say that He must be fair?
 author of Job-believes in God's goodness and in Job's goodness
 misfortunes do not come from God

Chapter 3:  Sometimes There Is No Reason
  randomness of universe
  someone safe in an accident-give credit to God
   what about those who don't make it-less worthy or valuable in God's sight?
 arbitrary acts of condemning and saving
 some things just happen at random, for no cause
 randomness=chaos
 causing tragedies at random
 prevents people from believing in God's goodness
 angers and saddens God too (the tragedy does)

Chapter 4:  No Exceptions for Nice People
  laws of nature-unchanging character
    gravity, chemistry
    human bodies
 treat everyone alike
 bullet has no conscience nor a malignant tumor nor an automobile gone out of control
 could certain people be immune to laws of nature while others left to fend for themselves?
  would cause more problems
 nature is morally blind, without values
 becomes much easier to take God seriously as the source of moral values if we don't hold Him
   responsible for all the unfair things that happen in the world
pain-unpleasant but necessary part of being alive
pain does not represent God's punishing us
only humans can find meaning in their pain
pain is the price we pay for being alive
what we do with our pain so that it becomes meaningful and not just pointless empty suffering
it is result of pain that makes some experiences of pain meaningful and others empty and destructive
God gives strength and courage to those who suffer pain and the fear of death
Imagine if people lived forever
   world impossibly crowded
   people would avoid having children
Vulnerability to death is one of the given conditions of life
Rise beyond "Why did it happen?" and ask, "What do I do now that it has happened?"

Chapter 5:  God Leaves Us Room to Be Human
  Let us make man in our image
  Adam & Eve-more than disobeying God and being punished for it
  know good vs. bad (vs. animals)
  punishments/consequences
    sexual tension
    parenting
    working hard for our food
    human beings know they're going to die
  being free to make choices
   not really choosing if only choice is good
  God has to leave us free to choose
  God has set Himself the limit that He will not intervene to take away our freedom
    (thought-only God can limit God)
  Being human leaves us free to hurt each other
   i.e. Holocaust
     God couldn't prevent it
"We owe God our lives for the few or many years we live, and we have the duty to worship Him and do as He commands us."

Chapter 6:  God Helps Those Who Stop Hurting Themselves
  one of worst things that happens to a person who has been hurt by life--sees himself as a bad
   person who had this coming to him--drives people away
 what not to say in a tragedy
   anything critical of mourner
   minimize mourner's pain
   asks mourner to disguise/reject feelings
 what to do-come, listen
 survivors feel guilty
  (1) strenuous need to believe that the world makes sense, that there's a cause and effect and a
        reason for everything that happens
  (2) notion that we are the cause of what happens, especially bad things
 death of another child for children
   child's sense of vulnerability
   very unusual-that's why everyone is talking about it
   not a punishment-just a senseless, terrible accident
depression-anger turned inward
ok to be angry at God but what happened is not His fault
angry at situation
jealousy-for us to suffer an accident/bereavement is bad enough--worse for us to suffer it while
 those around us don't
 truth-people have wounds and scars of their own
"Anguish and heartbreak may not be distributed evenly throughout the world, but they are distributed very widely.'

Chapter 7:  God Can't Do Everything, But He Can Do Some Important Things
  praying for a person's health, for a favorable outcome for an operation, has implications...
  If prayer worked the way many people think it does, no one would ever die because no prayer is
    offered more sincerely,...
Why didn't I get what I prayed for?
 We cannot ask God to change laws of nature for our benefit, to make fatal conditions less fatal or to       change the inexorable cause of an illness
  miracles do happen
  prayers meant to do someone harm-bad
What does prayer do-
  puts us in touch with other people, redeems people from isolation
  puts us in touch with God
    pray for courage, strength to bear the unbearable, grace to remember what they have left instead of      what they have lost
  strength to go on day after day
  God gives us the strength to cope with the problem
  turn to Him, admit that we can't do it on our own
  people who pray for strength, hope and courage get it
"You didn't get a miracle to avert a tragedy. But you discovered people around you, and God beside you, and strength within you, to help you survive the tragedy.I offer that as an example of a prayer being answered."

Chapter 8:  What Good, Then, Is Religion?
  affirm life
  No one ever promised us a life free from pain and disappointment
  The most anyone promised us was that we would not be alone in our pain, and that we would be
    able to draw upon a source outside ourselves for the strength and courage we would need to
    survive life's tragedies and life's unfairness
 Recognize God's limitations
  limited by laws of nature and human moral freedom
  God does not cause our misfortunes
 Bad things that happen to us in our lives do not have a meaning when they happen to us. But we can
    give them a meaning
"Now that this has happened, what shall I do about it?"
 Our reaction to tragedy-devil's martyrs vs. God's martyrs
    let them be witnesses for God and for life
    the dead depend on us for their redemption and their immortality
  God-created world where more good things happen than bad
  God-inspires people to help other people
  He does not give us the calamity but gives us the strength and perseverance to overcome it
   choosing to go on living and creating new life

"Man depends on God for all things; God depends on man for one.Without Man's love, God does not exist as God, only as creator, and love is the one thing no one, not even God Himself, can command. It is a free gift,or it is nothing. And it is most itself, most free, when it is offered in spite of suffering, of injustice and of death."
(from Dimensions of Job, MacLeish)

"We do not love God because He is perfect. We do not love Him because He protects us from all harm and keeps evil things from happening to us.We do not love Him because we are afraid of Him, or because He will hurt us if we turn our back on Him. We love Him because He is God, because He is the author of all the beauty and the order around us, the source of our strength and the hope and the courage within us, and of other people's strength and hope and courage with which we are helped in our time of need. We love Him because He is the best part of ourselves and of our world. This is what is means to love. Love is not the admiration of perfection, but the acceptance of an imperfect person with all his imperfections, because loving and accepting him makes us better and stronger."

End of book (author's son who died was Aaron): I think of Aaron and all that his life taught me, and I realize how much I have lost and how much I have gained. Yesterday seems less painful, and I am not afraid of tomorrow.


   






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