Jacob's Driving Letter

You had this in your car. Jake gave this to you when you turned sixteen. The print-out itself was in bad shape from being in your car in the tow yard, exposed to the elements, so I wanted to get a good copy of it.
                                        
                                       Merry Happy Jolly Birthday!
                You're not only sixteen, but you're SEXteen! You get to drive now! Maybe Some Nights you can drive out and see me on the weekend! But we both know that probs won't happen. You got to be careful parking your car around in the high school parking lot, people might try and Sabotage your car because they are jealous of your awesomeness. Being able to drive around when ever you want, all by yourself, makes you feel so Alive and free; being able to drive off into the night to the place Where the Lines Overlap. There will be a Reptilia of new responsibilities you have now. Back in 1901 only few people had cars and drove around.
                 I can see it now, you will be cruising around in your car with the windows down and All the Pretty Girls will be Howlin' For You. You will be doing that all the time just for some Entertainment. Gravity is what keeps us flying so we have to drive around to get everywhere. You can drive To Kingdom Come. Being sixteen will give you a whole New Perspective on life. I Want You To not be afraid to go Against the Grain and try new things, just nothing too stupid. Only one more year in high school and two more until you're an adult. Seriously though, enjoy it while you can. I know I didn't as much as I should have and I regret it. I know after high school, You're Gonna Go Far, Kid. I have no clue how to fit Ode to Sleep in hear so that sucks.
                All seriousness happy birthday! Hope its a great one and sorry I'll miss it. I put my rules for driving on here that I made for Katie, Michael and Dunkel. I know I won't need to worry about you breaking some of them but I kept them on here anyways.

Jacob's Rules for Driving.
       1)  Be/leave 15 minuets early
            -That will generally give you enough buffer time if you hit traffic or something
       2)  On main roads you can get away with 5 over
            -But you should never have the need to speed cause you should give yourself enough time to
            get to where you are going
       3)  On highway you can get away with ten over
            -But don't be weaving in and out through traffic.
       4)  Don't talk on the phone while driving
            -Just for the first couple months till you get use to driving then use speaker phone when
            driving so you have both hands on the wheel
       5)  Never text while driving, it can wait!
            -Have a passenger read and send messages for you
       6)  Don't be that jackass blasting his music so the whole city can hear you
            -Feel free to blast your music but be able to hear whats going on outside of the car, such as
            police sirens.
       7) Road Rage will get you know where
           -You're gonna drive worse and more aggressive if you're pissed. So just take a breath and calm
           down
       8) If you can't see pull over
           -Sounds stupid, but it's for days of inclement weather. If it's pouring/blizzard and you can't see
           pull into the nearest PARKING LOT not the side of the road
       9) Obey parental curfew
           -Driving is a privilege respect what they say and be home at least five minutes before curfew
      10) If you are not in the state to drive DON'T DRIVE
            -If you are under the influence just call your parents and tell them the truth, don't drive around
            drunk, worse things can come from that. If worst comes to worst you can call me.