The Best Years

This was a speech that was on Honorine's wall by Octavia Spencer. Here are some excerpts. It's from a graduation speech she gave at Kent State.

Title: The Best Years Are Very Much Ahead of You

Now, there may be a temptation to think that these were the best years of your lives because of everything and everyone you discovered here. But that would be too narrow of a vision, too myopic. I promise you that everyone here has been a part of shaping you for a future you never dreamt for yourself.

But, my dear graduates, let me be frank, the best years of your life are very much ahead of you. And they can be whatever you want them to be. Your work, your life, your weekdays, your weekends, can all be filled with as much meaning as you dictate.

As you go off now to start new jobs or new graduate programs, or maybe you already have a career or maybe a million followers on Instagram and you don't even need my advice. But whatever chapter, whatever your next chapter is, define it by being true to your authentic self. Fill it with meaning. Because you're on the other side now, and maybe fear is starting to creep in, perhaps aggressively-fear of the unknown. Oh, the excitement of today is about to become a memory, and you will have to join the rest of us in a world where there are no more graduations. It's your turn to choose and define what success means to you. Now, others will try to define it for you, but yours is the only voice that matters.

This journey you take now will be led by you alone. Let me say that again. The journey you take now will be led by you alone. Don't let that scare you, oh no, let that liberate you. Remember, no one came here the same way, and you won't all achieve success the same way. But because you all have shaped your path to graduation in a way that is uniquely and undeniably yours, I am pretty confident that you will continue to do that. But as you move forward, please, please, please, oh please, don't let yourself get caught up in the trap of comparison. You know what I'm talking about. Ignore the silly 30-Under-30 list that the internet throws at you before you've even had your morning cup of coffee. Those will be the bane of your existence post-graduation, trust me. Comparing yourself to other's success only slows you down from finding your own. If I had to read '25 Actresses who Broke Through Before 25' when I was first starting out, I tell you guys, I would have stayed in bed. Because I guarantee you that none of them looked like me. None of them. So know this: As much as you've changed during your time here, more change is coming. You're going to have to continue to evolve in unforeseen ways. You are full of complexities and wonders that haven't even begun to surface. Life's unpredictability will draw these out and what defines you now will be mere shades and hues of a more vibrant you over the next five, ten, fifty years. Honestly, I can't think of anything more liberating than that, knowing that life will look differently than you think it will. It's sure different for me.

Don't let who you're becoming be shaped by disappointments and also don't let yourself be shaped by achievements either. Remember your Kipling: If you can meet with triumph and disaster but treat those two imposters the same. Treat them just the same. Define success and define your best years by every day that you work hard towards achieving your goals. Your talent and efforts got you here today and that talent will continue to open doors for you. And luck will play its part too. But a strong work ethic is vital and it will get you farther than talent and luck ever could, trust me, I know. Little talent, lot of hard work.

So keep moving forward. And don't be frustrated when your path gets messy because it will get messy. You'll fall and you'll fail along the way. Wildly. Embrace the mess. Say it with me, embrace the mess, as Nora Ephron used to say. Get ready for it. And don't let the potential of fail stop you from moving forward.

Now this is a big lesson because when you're starting out in your career, it is important that you say yes more than you say no. If I didn't say yes to all of the early roles that I took on, I don't know that I would have gotten to this point. Saying yes allows you to find your voice. It lets you uncover new opportunities and it reveals new relationships. But when it's time to say no, say it loudly and firmly. There will be occasions when saying no is necessary to maintaining your values and your self worth. You define your value. No one else.

Now some of you will be able to make your voices heard through the careers that you choose. But some of you will have to take an extra step. We all have to continue to stand up for our beliefs. No matter what path you're stepping on tomorrow, please take that beautiful voice of yours and share it with us. We're counting on you, and we want to hear you.

Now I do have an asterisk here. Because whatever that voice of yours might be saying,..., I'm asking that your words, your actions, and your voices be rooted in a true empathy for others. Understand each other and let that understanding shape your values. Our voices grow more powerful when they're together. They're more powerful when they're diverse. There are conversations and movements happening in our country right now that will affect each and every one of you, and it's your chance to contribute right now. You're already seeing what happens when we come together emphatically for others. What makes our communities powerful are all of the different viewpoints, the different perspectives. And what creates change is when we stand for values we hold true to ourselves.

So what's next for you? What path will you choose? While you reflect on that, I will leave you Emerson: Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path, but leave a trail.