Start there

 From Marriage Revolution

There's a prayer almost

nobody prays. Not God

 change my spouse. Not

God fix my marriage.

But God, show me what

I've become in this, and

start there.

Most of us have prayed about our marriage. We've asked God to soften our spouses, to open their eyes, to fix what's broken. Those prayers feel right. They're also the easy ones, because they keep the problem out there where we don't have to look at it.

There's a harder prayer. God, show me what I've become in this. Not what they did. What I've turned into while it was happening. The coldness I've gotten comfortable with. The score I keep. The way I've quietly written them off and called it being realistic.

Nobody wants to pray that. It costs something to ask God to turn the light on you when you've built a good case against someone else.

But that's where God starts. Jesus asked why we stare at the speck in someone else's eye and miss the log in our own (Matthew 7:3-5). Not because your spouse has no speck. Because the log is the only one you can actually do anything about. And here's the part that makes it bearable: God doesn't show you because He already dealt with it at the cross. You can afford to look at what you've become. It's already been forgiven.

So pray the harder prayer this week. Before you tell God one thing about your spouse, sit still and ask Him to show you your part. Then wait long enough to hear the answer.

What makes that prayer so hard to pray?