Should write about it

Things have been better between Dad and I, but for some reason I don't feel like writing about it. Last night he snapped at me at Grandma Joonie's because he had been in the other room on his phone during dinner with work stuff and then he was on it at the table. Last time we were there he was on his phone the whole time with non-work stuff and I asked if he could not do that this time. He agreed, so when I saw him doing that again, I reminded him of that.

He snapped back that is was for work and that Jill never bothers Kerry about taking care of work stuff when they are there. I told him I didn't know it was for work, that I thought he was just on Facebook or something. Grandma Joonie got involved and asked us to stop and said that Jill doesn't say anything to Kerry because she's scared of him. Dad said that means she respects him.

I hate getting in trouble with Dad for fighting. If people listen to what's going on, it's clear that he is in the wrong. I also feel bad because Grandma Joonie got dinner together for us at the last minute last night even though she is having a tight week and nobody wants to sit and hear us fight.

Now I am thinking when Hope and Carter fight and I don't care who's right or wrong, I just want them to stop. Usually I will pinpoint Hope since she is older. I never stop to listen to the issue either of who is right or wrong. Hmmm-might have to think about that one.

Since we have been "getting along", it's even clearer to me how Dad is still doing the same things he always has. On Sunday, he begged me to spare $50 out of our accounts to go along with $50 from his account to buy another pair of new basketball shoes since the ones he bought a few weeks ago aren't working out and he can't return them. First of all, he ended up spending a total of $200 with some socks he bought. He had already promised last week when he spent an unplanned $160 on some probiotics that he would hold off on basketball shoes in place of this. What happened to that promise? It's from the same money-there was not another pay day in there. Then on top of all that, I asked him to get the $50 back into the Bank of Ann Arbor account as soon as possible which he promised, and he didn't do it yesterday so far.

This "getting along" phase is eye-opening to me because the issues are still there. The other day I was going to get on him about something and everyone "shushed me." There are still things we have to discuss and have to figure out how to discuss without fighting. It makes me a little sad but also gives me affirmation that there have been real actual problems over the years that I have tried to deal with that I'm not going to overlook just for the sake of "keeping the peace." (quote overload)

Oh boy, I am a handful. I don't think that's what God meant by submission. To let your husband railroad you and just to go along with bad decision after bad decision, broken promise after broken promise. It's not right! There is something very wrong in his heart attitude! Lord, help me to deal with this! (Sorry for the rant-love you boy!)