Remembrance service

The day started with us having to be at church early so Hope could practice the song with the group. We picked up Katie Wagner since she wanted to come to the service and Carter came along with us too. I checked in with Pastor when I got there and asked if he wanted to introduce Ruby or what. We agreed that we would ask her when she got there. He said something about it always being a good idea to ask permission first. I took that as an acknowledgement of our concerns about the whole day's activities. I also checked to see if somebody was taking care of Mrs. Banks' class and there had been arrangements made, so that was one less thing to worry about. I brought a flower arrangement from home to set on the altar that the Laws sent up from Florida. Pastor mentioned something about it at the beginning of Sunday School, so that was nice. (Side note: Katie really enjoyed the new little class Pastor has for Jr. high and Sr. high, so maybe she can start coming to that-yay!)

Sunday School went fine-we had an older gentleman who has been attending our church recently who taught since James was out of town. His name was Mal (short for Malcomb) Borden I think. He talked about enjoying the ride of life which meant something to me since sometimes I feel like I just want to skip everything down here and go to heaven to be with you and the Lord.

At about 10:20, it was cute because the Judges came in with Beck and Ellery during Sunday School. They seemed a little confused and I hoped that they didn't think they were late for the service. Soon after that, Ruby appeared at the end of our row with JR, her daughter Angel and granddaughter Cheyenne. I told them when they squeezed by us that it was Sunday School and not church yet.

At the end of the Sunday School service, that's when people started pouring in. E, Grammy, Grandma Joonie and E's friend Cindy Czubko came and sat in the row behind us. I took Ruby to meet Pastor and she said it was fine for him to introduce them, so I wrote their names on a piece of paper for him. People who I remember seeing come in: Nance and Rache (John too!), Enrico and his parents, the Calders, the Browns (Matt, Andrew and their mom), Scott Thomas and his dad, our neighbors Rick and Kris, the Johnsons, and Mike and Sydney Pope (even though they are members of our church, they don't come very much because they work a lot). It was truly overwhelming. I'm so glad I knew about it first. My face was burning up and I kept asking Carter to get me drinks of water because my mouth was so dry. Johnny and Gretchen came along with the girls, Mike and Becky, there were so many! Hope sat in the front with the kids-oh, yeah, Rob was there too, Luke and Emily, Justin and Jake Diuble too. A lot of the boys wore their striped yellow and blue ties from your funeral too which was really special. So many people love you!

(Side note:  A lot of people told me in person how much the story I wrote about the day of your accident meant to them and how beautiful it was. That made me feel even better about sharing it on Facebook). Jake also made it and stayed for the whole service which made me happy to hear.

An extra special surprise was the Kimballs made it down. I didn't know for sure that they were coming, so it was great to see them. They had a two-hour drive but they wanted to be there to support us. I felt very strong as I often do on such days because I think people pray extra for us then.

Pastor opened the service and acknowledged the one-year anniversary and mentioned that Ruby and her family were with us. (I started crying then). I don't remember if that was before or after the first two hymns. Jael played a beautiful rendition of "Amazing Grace" on her penny whistle. Soon after, the ensemble that Hope was in sang the song from your funeral, "God Reigns in the Storm." Mrs. Widgeon, Alexis and Jon Snoeberger sang it with her since Anna and Steve weren't able to. Ashley was supposed to sing too but said she was "sick." I thought I would be able to make it through the whole song without crying, but I was wrong.

I will probably share the notes I took from the sermon, but it was all about you (!) and us and about how God is good even in the midst of tragedy. Pastor explained how many people will take the equation of God's love and God's power/sovereignty and incorrectly conclude that they both can't be true simultaneously in such a situation. Pastor explained that we are using the wrong "math" and compared it to computer language where 1 + 1= 10 and not 2 as in traditional math. We aren't able to comprehend the system God uses now, but we will understand someday.

I remember him also saying something about how sad their family gets when they think about us, but to multiply that by 1000 to understand the pain that we have gone through. He even broke down a few times up there which shows how much he cares for you. He also went on to explain what you are doing now and used you as an example of what all believers will experience after death and when the Lord returns. It was so encouraging. He basically said that God permitted this tragedy for whatever reason, which I know is something that we weren't ready to hear last year at this time. Even though that thought can be disturbing, how much more disturbing would it be if this had been out of God's hands. It reminds me of an article I read and recorded about a couple who lost their newborn child and a quote from someone old and important about our trials being measured out by God's own hand. (now I have to look that up).

Pastor had me and Dad by the back of the sanctuary to greet people as they left, so we got and gave lots of hugs. Aunt Becky asked if I was still mad at her and I told her "no" and added "not anymore". She promised no more surprises so it sounded like she and Pastor understood our position from earlier about all of this.

Anyway, the service ended well and Dad announced that we would be going to the Panera by Briarwood for anyone who wanted to join us. (I was surprised when I got to the van with Carter to leave for the restaurant to see Grandma Elsie sitting by herself in his car waiting for him. Why wouldn't she stay and talk inside when so many of her family members were in there? Dad didn't know either). There were fewer people there than I thought there would be, but there was at tableful of kids, and then us with the Kimballs and the Watts and some other family and friends. The only people who came from church were the Brattins. I made sure we sat with the Watts and the Kimballs since they didn't know anyone else. We had a good conversation with them and it was good for the Kimballs to talk with the Watts since they know so much about Gift of Life.

After lunch, we offered to take them to the cemetery. Dad asked Grandma Elsie to go with us, but she said no and he kept bugging her to go. I told him to leave her alone if she wasn't interested in going. We had to find a ride for her though, so it worked out that she got a ride with Grandma Joonie who was also driving Aunt Becky home since Mike couldn't come to lunch. We also asked if Katie Wagner could get a ride home with them too since the kids went with Jake, Rache and Rob to paint the rock right after. It all worked out well. It was a special time at the cemetery with them and it was a beautiful day. Love you so much!