I have been avoiding reading the claims notes I have access to at work about your claim because they stress me out. I checked them today though because I was curious how the survivor benefits were coming. Turns out there is no record of the claims department's contact with the lawyer, but maybe that's a separate issue.
Anyway, I was reading through this summer's notes and apparently they got a hold of the other driver finally. It seemed as if he was avoiding their calls for a while until the investigation was over. The main thing that I wanted to record from that is that when your car hit his, he said there wasn't a horn blowing or screeching tires, so that confirms in my mind that there wasn't a problem with the car. I think, anyway. It seems like if that's what it was, there would have been evidence of you trying to regain control of it and there wasn't.
It sounds like this guy is in really bad shape, emotionally. He's had nightmares, he's scared of driving, he and his family have had therapy, and I think they are even moving. His wife left the Saline office of Old National and transferred to Dexter because she couldn't handle the constant talk in the bank about the accident.
I'm not sure how to feel about all of this. Do we have some kind of responsibility to this guy? We already made a statement to him at the funeral that we harbor no ill will towards him-that it was your time to go and he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes I get mad about it when I think about him and wondered why he didn't see you and couldn't get out of the way in time. His part of the road is the one that shifts a little and if he was a little close to the center and we know you were already over on his side, that is a problem.
Something else that stood out to me is that he stated he was not responsible-that none of this was his fault. I know that can happen-people get hit by drunk drivers and nothing can be done about it, for example. You at least expect other drivers to be fully functional, etc. (I'm saying this in defense of him and people who get hit by drunk drivers). I keep blaming your death on the accident, but maybe something happened in your brain, like you passed out or you had a brain aneurysm or something. (Look-I can spell aneurysm now). I hope it wasn't an aneurysm because it makes me fearful of the other kids, if it's something hereditary or something. I think passing out is a more likely scenario than that. There are so many reasons why someone can pass out, and if they happen to be behind the wheel, that's disastrous.
I'm thinking now of some of your health issues earlier in the summer again, like the broken blood vessel in your eye from puking "so hard", some headaches you got, etc. But what were we supposed to do, get an MRI? I don't know. They weren't debilitating, so it didn't seem like that big of a deal.
I looked up in time out of my window today at work to see a beautiful blue Sable drive by. Thank you for that. (Morphing into random thoughts). Last night I was talking about you in the car with Carter and he said sometimes it feels like he never had a brother and he almost forgot that you died. I don't know how to feel about that. Maybe that's just how kids' brains work. Like when we first went to Ele's Place and I told the lady that Carter said it doesn't seem like you were real or ever alive. She said that's normal for kids because they can't comprehend the idea of somebody being alive one day and dead the next.
On a related thought to above (surprise, surprise), I asked Hope how she could handle everything so well when you and she were best friends. People always comment on that, so I thought I would ask her. She said she realizes that you are gone and aren't coming back, so she needs to move on. Wow! That girl! She has her sad moments, of course, but what a great outlook.
This turned out a little weird and random, but oh, well. I have to record a change to the "timeline" that Hope corrected me on last night. Love you!
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