The shadow of death

I thought of this part of Psalm 23:4 when we were in the meeting with Gift of Life at the hospital the day of your accident. Here is the full verse: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear no evil for You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me." When I thought of this verse I was still in denial somewhat that you were going to die. I thought that they were preparing us for decisions IN CASE you died. I thought, "Ok, we have to go through all these motions and decisions which are the valley of the shadow of death but you aren't actually going to die. It's the VALLEY of the SHADOW of death, not DEATH. I thought that it was like death but not actually death.
   Then you died. What did that verse mean then? It said "valley of the shadow of death" not "death". This didn't seem like a valley or a shadow. This seemed like death. Seeing you in your box (remember I don't like the word "casket") seemed like death. Picking out your plot and watching them put you in the ground seemed like death. Meeting with Todd about your service seemed like death. Following the hearse to the cemetery seemed like death. (These are all out of order-sorry!) So what does that verse mean?
   I've been listening to a CD by Steven Curtis Chapman called "Beauty From the Ashes" which he recorded soon after his 5-year-old daughter was killed in a car accident. In one of the songs it mentions the valley of the shadow of death and that's what made me think more about it. (Side note: I am continually amazed by how God answers my questions. He doesn't have to, but He hears me when I even wonder about things without even directly answering and the answer comes at some point in most cases).
   I realized that this IS the valley of the shadow of death. In earthly terms, you have died. But you are still alive in and with Christ. As a believer, this is the closest we get to death. It's a temporary separation on earth which hurts because we always want to be together. But we will be again SOON. You just went ahead of us. God is so near to us (to me anyway) in this valley of the shadow of death for which I am so grateful.
   Since I've been into definitions lately, here is the definition of "shadow": (noun) a dark area or shape produced by a body coming between rays of light and a surface. (I don't remember if I usually quote the word or the definition). When I was looking up the verse I read a commentary to gain some more insight into the verse, but it didn't help much because it wasn't talking about death-just hard times. It did, however, point out that there can't be a shadow without light and the definition ties into that. I might have to think about that one a little bit. Jesus is the light of the world-hmmmm...

Side note: I find myself saying "us" and "we" a lot, but I can only speak for myself, I guess. It feels weird, like I'm selfish, but I find myself correcting it back to "me" and "I" when I read through it again.