Stop thinking

 By Shastin Stracener

I wasn't even listening to the lesson. I was six

paragraphs ahead, rehearsing the word

"particularly" like my entire future depended on it.

Then somebody would read two paragraphs 

instead of one and ruin the whole operation. Now

I'm recalculating like NASA, my heart is racing, and

suddenly I don't know how to pronounce "the."

So when somebody tells me to relax and stop

thinking so much, please understand: I have

YEARS of experience preparing for situations that

haven't happened yet.

I can turn a slightly different tone in a text 

message into a full investigation. You said "okay"

instead of "okayyy," and now apparently I need to

review our entire relationship.

It's funny until you realize how exhausting it is.

Rehearsing conversations. Replaying what you

said. Trying to anticipate every possible outcome

so nothing catches you off guard. Sometimes

you're sitting somewhere perfectly peaceful, but

your mind has already created three problems and

an emergency exit plan.

If you relate, I hope you get a little break from your

own thoughts today. You deserve to enjoy a good 

moment without having to figure out what could

go wrong with it.

But if we're reading out loud, please stick to your

assigned paragraph. Some of us have a system.

"Stop overthinking."

I used to count how many kids

were ahead of me so I could

figure out exactly which 

paragraph I'd have to read

out loud.

You think I developed this

personality last week?