Shattered-Part Two

Part Two  The Mental Impact

Chapter 13   Confusion:  "I Don't Know Which End Is Up"
"For in grief nothing 'stays put'. One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral? But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?"  -C.S. Lewis

"It's like I experience (his) death over and over again, multiple times every day."

The world as we knew it is no longer.

"No wonder I'm confused. Life without you is unimaginable."

Chapter 14   Crazy:  "I Feel Unhinged At Times"
"The pain of the leaving can tear us apart." -Henri Nouwen

Our child has died. That's crazy. We're in the center of this, and it will make us think we're nuts at times too.

Chapter 15   Racing Thoughts:  "My Mind Spins"
"Everyone can master a grief but he that has it."  -William Shakespeare

"My mind is never still. I'm always thinking about and looking for you."

Chapter 16   Forgetfulness:  "I Forget Stuff and Lose Things"
"Grief is the proof love is still here."  -Tessa Shaffer

Grief takes up enormous space and energy. As a result, we simply have less brain available for everyday life.

temporary condition

Forgetfulness is common and natural during times of grief. Especially when the loss is a child.

"It's amazing I can remember anything. All I can think about is you."

Chapter 17   Concentration:  "I Can't Seem to Focus"
"I feel so much I can't seem to think."  -Unknown

temporary

"I can't focus or concentrate. I'm not surprised. My heart is missing you."

Chapter 18   Addictions:  "I'm Running, Pure and Simple"

We believe we're responsible somehow, so we punish ourselves.

Child loss rattles the most stable of hearts.

"I'm tempted to run, but that would mean running from you. No thanks."

"Don't rush through this, but don't stay stuck either. Get the help you need."

Chapter 19   Suicidal Thoughts:  "I Want To Die Too"
"You think you have a memory; but it has you!"  -John Irving

...difficult to discern where genuine love stops and enmeshment begins. Instead of our child being a crucial part of our lives, they can become our life, our meaning, and our purpose on this planet.

Grieving is the process of learning to adjust, over time, to this unthinkable loss in the healthiest way possible.

"I love you, so I will live on and honor your memory."

"Your child would want you to live. Live! Survive! If you don't, that's one less voice to speak their name and tell their story."