Last night at RydeOn, there were so many songs that were played that reminded me of you and the theme of the night was "Backwards Videos" because all of the videos the instructor played along with the songs were all backwards. When he has a theme, he has us guess it, and I was the one who guessed it.
One of the songs was The Scientist by Coldplay (I have recorded the lyrics) which talks about going back to the start. In the video, the lead singer is in a car accident, and I don't recall what happens to the passenger, but in the backwards part, it shows her taking her jacket off and then before that she took her seatbelt off, so something might have happened to her in the accident.
That made me think of imagining your accident going backwards and you going back into your lane and coming back home, etc. and none of this nightmare even happening. Then I imagined your childhood in reverse even to when you were born and in my tummy, etc. I'm even tearing up thinking about it now.
When I first got to class, the song Counting Stars was on which I have never seen the video for and at the end of class, City of Angels was coming on. You were coming on strong last night! I wondered why-but then I wondered if it was because tomorrow is the 20th which will mark 1 year and 5 months since your accident. It's always interesting to me how my subconscience knows the 20th is near even before I fully realize it in what I guess might be my regular conscience. I mentioned that to Dad, but of course he didn't know what I was talking about.
You are amazing. I know you're still here. I can feel you. I love you so much! Thank you!
Counting Stars came on Pandora a few minutes after I wrote this. Love you!
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