Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
Psalm 136:1,26
Thanksgiving to God for His Enduring Mercy
Oh, give thanks to the Lord for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever.
Oh, give thanks to the God of heaven!
For His mercy endures forever.
Friday, November 30, 2018
Thursday, November 29, 2018
Gambling
From Flying Free
Many irresponsible people, especially abusers, will say, "I've tried SO HARD," or "I've done everything I can possibly do" or whatever. Great emotional emphasis, pleading for sympathy and support for their 'efforts'.
But they're gambling.
You know what they are gambling? They are gambling that their manipulative emotional appeals will be accepted, not challenged. They are gambling that if they keep the conversation emotional, they can avoid the practical. If they can keep the conversation generic, they can avoid specifics.
Emotional generalities are powerful tools in the hands and mouth of a manipulator. Most people accept emotional generalities. It is easy for manipulators to distract most counselors from asking the important, confrontational questions. And it is usually easy to distract everyone so they don't notice that the manipulative person isn't really answering the important questions.
Another strategy is that manipulators fill up the air with their own talking. They do not leave space for the thoughts of others. This is conversation control and mind control.
They also keep the conversation at high speed, with no breaks. This keeps the interaction reactive, instead of responsive. They leave no time for deep and careful thinking.
It takes discernment, skill, patience, and self-control to deal with this. Again, most people don't even recognize what the irresponsible person is doing.
But when someone does recognize it, and calls it out, the abuser will either slink away or blow up.
One of the most important things to do is to cut through the emotionalism and to ask specific questions - then to insist on specific answers, with bulldog tenacity.
"You said that you 'tried so hard.' What exactly did you do?"
Watch the abuser flounder, panic and throw a fit when specific questions are directed at him."
Many irresponsible people, especially abusers, will say, "I've tried SO HARD," or "I've done everything I can possibly do" or whatever. Great emotional emphasis, pleading for sympathy and support for their 'efforts'.
But they're gambling.
You know what they are gambling? They are gambling that their manipulative emotional appeals will be accepted, not challenged. They are gambling that if they keep the conversation emotional, they can avoid the practical. If they can keep the conversation generic, they can avoid specifics.
Emotional generalities are powerful tools in the hands and mouth of a manipulator. Most people accept emotional generalities. It is easy for manipulators to distract most counselors from asking the important, confrontational questions. And it is usually easy to distract everyone so they don't notice that the manipulative person isn't really answering the important questions.
Another strategy is that manipulators fill up the air with their own talking. They do not leave space for the thoughts of others. This is conversation control and mind control.
They also keep the conversation at high speed, with no breaks. This keeps the interaction reactive, instead of responsive. They leave no time for deep and careful thinking.
It takes discernment, skill, patience, and self-control to deal with this. Again, most people don't even recognize what the irresponsible person is doing.
But when someone does recognize it, and calls it out, the abuser will either slink away or blow up.
One of the most important things to do is to cut through the emotionalism and to ask specific questions - then to insist on specific answers, with bulldog tenacity.
"You said that you 'tried so hard.' What exactly did you do?"
Watch the abuser flounder, panic and throw a fit when specific questions are directed at him."
Authentic selves
By Shannon Thomas, Healing from Hidden Abuse
Recovery from psychological abuse involves having the freedom to be our authentic selves, not some watered down versions so as not to offend the delicate senses of finicky abusers.
Recovery from psychological abuse involves having the freedom to be our authentic selves, not some watered down versions so as not to offend the delicate senses of finicky abusers.
Too short
By Dr. Suess
Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So, love the people who treat you right, forgive the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get the chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So, love the people who treat you right, forgive the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get the chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
Anxiety attacks
This was helpful information. Unfortunately, I've experienced some of these forms
Anxiety attacks aren't always hyperventilating and rocking back and forth
Anxiety attacks can take different forms, such as:
-Unpredictable bouts of rage or irritability
-Nit-pickiness (obsessive behavior, which may be a part of OCD), and even a hypersensitivity to disarray, chaos, or any sort of change
-Fast-talking, stuttering, stumbling over words
-Not talking at all
-Sitting rigid, staring into space, almost seeming "zoned out"
Understanding the way our or other's anxiety works can help to decrease the stigma and help to calm the person faster and get them out of that state. These are just a few, but it gives an idea of the range in which attacks can come.
Anxiety attacks aren't always hyperventilating and rocking back and forth
Anxiety attacks can take different forms, such as:
-Unpredictable bouts of rage or irritability
-Nit-pickiness (obsessive behavior, which may be a part of OCD), and even a hypersensitivity to disarray, chaos, or any sort of change
-Fast-talking, stuttering, stumbling over words
-Not talking at all
-Sitting rigid, staring into space, almost seeming "zoned out"
Understanding the way our or other's anxiety works can help to decrease the stigma and help to calm the person faster and get them out of that state. These are just a few, but it gives an idea of the range in which attacks can come.
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