Hold tightest

WHY WE HOLD

TIGHTEST

to the things

THAT AREN'T 

MEANT FOR US

I used to wonder how you let go of things that are killing

you, when it feels like it would kill you to let go. How you decide

between "if things are meant to be, they will be" and "if

you want it, you have to go get it."

I think we hold on tightest to the things that aren't meant

for us because at some level, we know they aren't really

ours. We're always seeking the love we know we don't have.

We're always trying to prove the things that are not entirely

self-evident.

We know that when we stop thinking about talking and racking

through the details again and again, it will really be over.

When all that exists is an idea, holding on is the only way to

keep it.

Because letting go has little to do with giving somebody

permission to leave our lives, or declare that they don't love

us anymore, or walk away for good, and everything to do with

accepting that they already have.

I don't know about fate. But I do know the things that are

yours don't require us to mentally and emotionally latch onto

them to remain. That the best things are never forced, are

never created out of ultimatums, never leave us reeling and

questioning them for months or years at a time.

I do know that you cannot prove how much you love by

how much you're pained over loss. That you do not prove

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