For some reason, this thought came to mind today:
He used to walk out of restaurants on me. He did this on several occasions.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(I decided to add more as I thought of them to remind myself):
He screamed at me that I was a horrible example of a Christian wife and mother in front of you kids.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He was against having your graduation party at the house because of his perceived issues with the uneven yard, embarrassment of home condition, etc. I had wanted to have your party at the house since they day we filled in the pool because I knew it was the perfect size. In addition, we didn't have the money to rent anything.
Needless to say, he didn't help at all with anything party-related. The day before the party when it was "crunch time" and I needed as much help as I could get, he started telling you guys to pull weeds along the fence, etc. I told him there wasn't time for that, that I needed your help (and that I could have used his help) for other pressing matters. Instead of asking how he could help, he left for the entire day (he didn't get home until 10 pm). When I asked what he did all day, he said he saw 4 movies. 4! What a colossal waste of time while the rest of us were all working hard to get ready for the party.
It was an amazing party, BTW, but he should have been willing to help with what needed to be done.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He pretty much ruined every holiday/special occasion-even his own.
For the "even his own" remark, I had planned a small surprise birthday party for his 40th birthday if you recall (mostly his family). I had a lot to do that day and was horrified earlier in the day to come home to a giant mess from him taking another wall down when I left the house. It looked awful-the ceiling was all torn up, drywall everywhere. I got upset naturally and told him we were having company later for this surprise party and then he got mad back because he said he didn't know about the party (I told him, that's how surprise parties work). He wasn't sorry at all, and I had to clean up the giant mess along with preparing for the party. I was so behind, that I couldn't go out to dinner as planned with everyone, so I stayed behind to continue cleaning up while he, his mom and you guys went to dinner.
He then told me later that the only reason I planned the surprise party was to make myself look good and that it wasn't really for him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(I just keep adding to this as I think of things):
He didn't come to my birthday dinner at Grandma's last year (2017). He was mad at me about something and said he wasn't going. I even asked him to specifically to just come anyway and he refused.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At one point, he was bugging me to clean out the garage. Not for any particular occasion or anything, just because he wanted it cleaned up. I wanted to clean it up too, but had a hard time finding the time. One Friday night I came home to him having everything out of the garage on the driveway, so I had to do the work that night because it was supposed to rain. I was exhausted, plus I had to wake up early the next morning to go into Target to work.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That reminds me-one time the hot water heater leaked. I didn't realize until later that night that it had soaked the carpet in our bedroom on the other side of the wall. I didn't realize the whole room was saturated with water until a few days later on a Saturday. It took me six hours to rip up and remove that carpet all by myself while he sat upstairs watching TV. I asked for help on several occasions-the only thing he did was bring out a few trash bags full of wet carpet because they were too heavy for me to carry up the stairs. I was exhausted from working all morning at Target and then had to turn around and wake up early Sunday to work again after all that work. Even one of Hope's friends who was over asked Dad why he wasn't helping me. He didn't have an answer. I think that was one of the hardest jobs I've ever done.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm sure you remember this situation, but it just came to mind the other day. A few years ago in the fall, Dad asked me/made me go with him to some stupid "Meechigan party" at German Park in Ypsi. He was working for BOAA at the time and wanted to schmooze, which I actually hate. Anyway, I agreed to go with him. It was crazy, crowded and everyone was drunk.
We got some hot dogs soon after we got there, and tried to squeeze in to sit down and eat them at a super crowded picnic table. A huge live band was playing and it was super loud. Naturally, Dad was pretty much ignoring me. We got done eating and one of Dad's co-workers came over (Joe) with his very pregnant wife. They had food too, so when they came over to sit near us, I got up to offer my seat to her. This was grossly misunderstood, because later Dad accused me of being rude by doing that because they were coming over to sit with us/talk with us. I had no idea of this and was trying to be nice by giving them more room to sit down.
I guess Dad's explanation to them of my "rudeness" is "that is how she is." Even though I tried to explain to him what I thought I was doing, he didn't believe me. I heard about this situation for probably the next six months. It went so far as to when Dad went out with you guys and Joe and his kids, Joe re-told the story to you guys and laughed at how rude I was. Why would you say that to someone's kids? And why didn't Dad defend me at all? It was awful. Since you died, Joe has been really nice to me, but that did some major damage. Who does that?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment