Expectations

I'm trying to work on your monthly post for tomorrow, the 20th. 2 years and 9 months? I think so.

I plan on including a picture of your oak tree that is coming to life again after the long winter. I don't have any particular poems or sayings to share, so it's up to me to share a thought. The above word, "expectations" came to mind. (Another side note-I want to have people "guess" what that is, excluding those who might already know)

I didn't expect the tree to be doing so well. I'm glad I was proven wrong. That happens all the time. I find myself saying that all the time. I didn't expect to be able to function, to even be able to breathe, after losing you. Yet, here I am. And some days, I actually feel very, very happy.

(Reminder-there is one quote I want to share-one about the reason why I post. It says something like I don't post for sympathy, I post to remember you. I wanted to include that because a lot of times people make comments that indicate they feel sorry for me, which I appreciate, but I'm actually fine.)

Continued...I have you and God to thank for that, my sweet boy. Because now I can look back and be so grateful for the time I had with you and how wonderful it was to be your mother. How wonderful it is to be your mother still. For always and forever.

"And for always, forever,
Now we can fly.
And for always and always,
We will go on beyond goodbye."

-Josh Groban

Another try:


"When I post about my loved one, it is not to get sympathy, it is to keep their memory alive."

             <3 <3 <3 Hayden Milton Smith <3 <3 <3

I wonder if anyone can guess what this is. It makes me realize how many times in these past two years and nine months I've said, "I didn't expect that..." or "I'm thankful for..." I'm thankful the tree is doing so well. I didn't expect that.

I didn't expect to be able to function, to even be able to breathe after losing you. Yet here I am. And some days, I feel very, very happy. I'm thankful for that.

I have you and God to thank for that, my sweet boy. Because now I can look back and be so grateful for the time I had with you and how wonderful it was to be your mother. How wonderful it is to be your mother still. For always and forever.

"And for always, forever,
Now we can fly.
And for always and always,
We will go on beyond goodbye."

-Josh Groban