The notebook

This is the monthly post for April. I took a picture of that notebook from the UM Trauma Burn unit.

This was handed to us at the hospital at the time of Hayden's accident. At first, I didn't know what it was for. It was just a blank notebook. At the time, we used it for everyone to write a message to be read at the end of Hayden's surgery for his organ donation. Gift of Life offered to do that for us as well as select songs to be played during the surgery. That was a great blessing to be able to do that, by the way.

It was then used at home for us to each write our "letters" to Hayden which were part of the eulogy at his service. Soon it became a place to record poems, Bible verses, quotes, and song lyrics. After that, I used it to plan Carter's birthday party and a few vacations, and it went on those vacations with us. Most of it after that is filled with notes from the many grief books I read.

I wanted to share this, because, after 2 years and 8 months, the notebook is finally filled. It tells a story of a journey, a journey that I would never ask to be on. A situation that was handed to me, like the notebook, with a question attached..."What are you going to do with this?" After looking through the completed notebook, every page filled, it is encouraging to see how far I've come. I am thankful to God for that and my sweet boy Hayden Smith.

(I also included two poems that are recorded on this blog: "When I Lost You" and "When Tomorrow Starts Without Me")

K's comment: "The 20th of each month is sorta like a torrential downpour. Thank you for allowing us to join you in the rain."