Where I'm Going With This

I shared some of that verse/song with K earlier, and I wasn't sure why I was even doing so. Here are the verses I was focusing on. I'll include with them the texts.

K: Some of the verses I've seen or read before...
Me:  Me too-the garden thing I've heard before and the "part of us went with you" part. I had some thoughts on the parts I found interesting. I'll follow up on that in a minute. After I shared the poem/song with you I wondered why I even did that, but I think I know why now.
K:  We just landed in ATL. This is the part I've been thinking about:  He knew you were in pain,
Me:  I know I believe, since Hayden's accident, that there are worse things than dying. I think I told you that probably the worst thing that could happen to him, after going through an accident of that magnitude, was waking up and having to deal with the damage to his mind and body. Here are the verses that tie to this: He saw your road was getting rough, And the hills were hard to climb, So he closed your weary eyes, And whispered, "Peace be thine." When we saw you sleeping, So calm and free of pain, We would not wish you back to us, To suffer once again. Do you know where I'm going with this?
K:  Hoping I'm not taking it out of context. At no point do I recall being "in pain"...when I began my journey back, I only felt uncomfortable. I know Hayden was never "in pain"...
Me:  But wouldn't you say you went through a great deal of suffering? (By the way, thank you for saying that about Hayden. I don't believe he felt any pain either).
Me (again):  I'll give you some time to respond, but will continue shortly
K: Suffering...hmmmm...Guilt...yes....Why's...yes
K (again): "When we saw you sleeping, So calm and free of pain"...guessing we were the lucky ones...
Me: You feel guilty that you lived when Hayden died. You think you were given a gift that Hayden didn't receive. But he just received a different type of gift. God blessed Hayden with the gift of not having to endure the aftermath of his injuries for the rest of his life. That is a blessing to those of us he left behind as well. Even though we didn't want him to ever leave us, how horrible would it be to see him suffer with all of that and not even be himself anymore. He wouldn't want that and if we really thought about it, neither would we.
K:  To answer your questions, I'm not sure where you're going with this...
Me: Ok-I'll think about it and try to explain it in a different way
K: I fully understand the suffering part. Think I shared with you the guy I met this past year on the road bike crashing through the passenger's window of the car and ending up on the drivers lap. He recalled his entire ordeal along with the severe pain and suffering of his injuries.
Me: This actually might make a better phone conversation-I don't know. I don't mean just the physical pain and suffering of the accident itself. I mean afterwards if he would have woken up and he couldn't walk, or he couldn't see, or he couldn't do anything. Or he couldn't think the same, or he couldn't do all the things he planned on doing in his life the way he wanted to, etc. By the way, I wasn't intending to make this all about Hayden-I thought this could tie into your situation too but I guess I'm not doing a good job of that. I'm sorry about that.
K: No worries. Never once took the point of view that it was all about Hayden. Guessing I'm still caught up in something...
Me: I have time for a phone call between 5 and 6. Would that work at all? I know you said you had a long layover in Atlanta.
K: That may work. I'm here til 7:30. Meeting up with a colleague at some point after 5. Reach out when you can...
Me: Ok