There

I wrote this out to tell K. I still am not sure how he took it. He just kept saying, "Wow!" Apparently he didn't realize that Dad and I were having problems. I'm glad I told him this. He's been kind of quiet since, but I'm glad it's out there.

"There's something I need to talk to you about. I was going to wait but I didn't want you to worry about my trip Up North or anything. I also don't want you to feel pressured or anything or feel like anything is your fault.

A week after we got back from Florida, I finally told Bill that I am done with our marriage and that I want out. We have had a troubled marriage to say the least and have tried counseling several times. We could never figure out why we, as two professing Christians, could not make our marriage work. We still don't know the answer to this.

At first when I told Bill this, he said he wouldn't agree to a divorce and that he wanted to still work on our marriage even tho I didn't. We see the same counselor separately (I started first and then he started in the summer). We had an appointment for a joint counseling session on August 17th. Before he left for Orlando, I told him that I didn't want to discuss our marriage until we were at the counseling appointment. Bill mistakenly took this as a sign of hope that maybe I was going to give our marriage another try.

When he got home last night, I wanted to make sure he knew nothing had changed. He basically said he would go ahead with the divorce. I asked him if we could keep it quiet for a while until we figured everything out, especially where church/Pastor was concerned. My main concern was still being able to help with the wedding decorations on August 19th and I really wanted Carter to get baptized before any of us were asked to leave church.

At first, he wouldn't agree to this which made me very upset, especially because I wanted to help with the wedding. Then he left for a few hours. When he came back, we started talking about everything. It was bad at first but then the conversation improved and we figured a lot of things out. He also agreed to keep things quiet for a while to give us time to deal with everything.

I'm telling you this because, when all was said and done, Bill told me that I should date you once the divorce was final. Just so you know, he doesn't know about anything that's been going on between us since we came back from FL and I think it's best to keep it that way. He also said that maybe that's the reason we met you. I would have to agree with him. Please don't take too long to respond."