Here to me

A Letter from Heaven

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say

But first of all, to let you know that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from heaven, here I dwell with God above.

Here there's no tears of sadness, just pure eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy, just because I'm out of sight.

Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.

The day I had to leave you, when my life on earth was through,

God picked me up and hugged me and said, "I welcome you.

It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone.

As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.

I needed you here badly, you're part of my plan,

There's so much we have to do to help our mortal man."

God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do,

And foremost on the list was to watch and care for you.

And when you retire to your bed, the day's chores put to flight,

God and I are close to you...in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth and all those loving years,

Because you're only human, they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain,

Remember there wouldn't be flowers, unless there was some rain.

There are many roads ahead of you, many hills to climb,

But together we can do it, taking one day at a time.

And now I am contented that my life was so worthwhile,

Knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

When you are walking down the road and I am on your mind,

I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind.

And when it is your time to go on...from that body to be free,

Remember you're not going...you're coming here to me.

The next thing

by Elizabeth Elliott

Note to self:
Sometimes life is so hard you can only do the next thing. Whatever that is, just do the next thing. God will meet you there.

Friendships

In our lives we experience many different kinds of friendships. On the rare occasion we encounter someone so special that we just know that we met for a reason. These are the kinds of friendships that last forever no matter what city you live in or how often you speak, no matter how old you get or what phase of life you are in. It's the type of friendship that has no judgment and sticks by you even when you screw up. It's the kind of friendship that makes you understand unconditional love. Maybe you met your most special friend when you were 6, or 13, or 30...or maybe you are yet to cross paths. It happens at different stages for different people. But when it does, there is no greater comfort than knowing that this person will be right there beside you to share the happiness, the sadness and everything in between - Never, ever take these friendships for granted.

God does

Women glow differently once they've come into the realization that men (or anyone else, even themselves) determine their value or worth, God does.

Become

Forgive yourself

for not knowing

what you didn't 

know until you 

lived through it.

Honor your path.

Trust your 

journey. Learn,

grow, evolve,

become.

The first time

I'll never forget the first time I saw you.

Scared to lose

There's just something about you I'm scared to lose, because I know I won't find it in anyone else.

Tough

Life is tough my darling, but so are you.

Too expensive

If it costs you your peace, it is too expensive.

Truth is truth

The truth is the truth even if no one believes it.

A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it.

Get stronger

Life does not get easier, you just get stronger.

Healing light

God is saying to you today,

"Sometimes things in your life will

fall apart: you lose your job,

your relationship falls apart,

someone dies, or your health takes 

a turn for the worse. It is in those

times, I will draw near to you and 

as you trust Me with your pain,

I will gently shine My healing light

on all your wounds."

Can say no

Saying yes feels 

good, but a great

 relationship is

 one where you can

 say no and everyone

 is totally ok 

with it.

Only as beautiful

People are not as beautiful as they look or as they talk. They are only as beautiful as they love, as they care, as they share.

-Ritu Chatourey

Close our eyes

Why do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss and dream? Because the most beautiful things in life are not seen but felt only by the heart.

Setting a boundary

Setting a boundary either speeds up the healing of a relationship or its destruction, and that's the point - so you stop living in limbo which is way worse than either of these.

-Patrick Doyle

Good people

Good people pass away;
the godly often die before their time.
But no one seems to care or wonder why.
No one seems to understand
that God is protecting them from the evil to come.
For those who follow godly paths
will rest in peace when they die.

Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes in life, but it doesn't mean they have to pay for them for the rest of their life. Sometimes good people make bad choices. It doesn't mean they are bad. It means they are human.

Simultaneously

You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously.

-Sophia Bush

Not force

The biggest lesson I learned this year is to not force anything: conversations, friendships, relationships, attention, love. Anything forced is just not worth fighting for. Whatever flows, flows; what crashes, crashes. It is what it is.

I think it's brave

by Lana Rafaela

I think it's brave that you get up
in the morning even if your soul is weary
and your bones ache for a rest.

I think it's brave that you keep
on living even if you don't know how to
anymore.

I think it's brave that you push
away the waves rolling in every day and
you decide to fight yet again.

I know there are days when you
feel like giving up, but I think it's brave
that you never do.

Ten things

From Here Comes the Sun

Ten Things I Learned When My (Son) Died

10.  Death doesn't ask.
What you'd prefer. Who should go first. When it will happen. If you're ready or willing or what you'd give instead.

9.  Life doesn't mind.
You've read (his) autopsy eleven times. You're afraid to fall asleep and to wake up. Your hair is falling out and you've memorized crop circles on the ceiling and you haven't showered in five days. You get up and you go to bed and (he's) not there. You still have to pay the water bill.

8.  The true meaning of the following words, in no particular order.
Difficult. Helpless.
Numb, Futile, Blind.
Jealousy. Anxiety, Insomnia.
Beauty. Horrific.
Courage, Friendship.
Plasticity. Lost.

7.  Love conquers all.
Even death.

6.   Some people can hang.
And some cannot.

Call. Hug. Stay.
Sit with you on the hospital bed. On the hospital
floor. On the bedroom floor. On the bathroom
floor.
Hold your (son). Wrap (him) in tiny blankets
intently, softly. Sing to (him) as if (he) were alive.
Sift ashes through their fingers, entwined with
yours, into the ground.
Hold your head in their hands, hold your heart in
their words.
Check in. Send a card. Stick around.

5.   This doesn't matter.
Insert anything here. Literally anything. Whatever you're stressing over today, whatever's depriving you of sleep or making your insides loose or shortening your words, you could be laughing about in an instant, tomorrow, trust me.

4.   This does.
Their breath on the glass. Their hands on the fridge. Their cries down the hall and their hair in the shower. Their footsteps on the hardwood. Their spills. Their smells. Their eye rolls. The tops of their heads on your nose. Their texts and their awful jokes and their fevers at 3 am. Their carpet recitals and their holey sweatpants and their toys in the entryway. Rinse and repeat. Forever.

3.   Forgiveness is key.
Those people who didn't call? That person who said that awful thing? They were trying. They didn't try at all. They had no experience. They knew better. Forgive them. All of them. Forgive yourself, too.

2.    You should.
Say hello. Slow down. Eat the bread. Make the drive.

1.   You can.
Say goodbye. Endure. Remember. Survive.

Your truth

by Bryant McGill

They are going to judge you no matter what you do, so let them judge you for your truth.

Forgive yourself

from Flying Free

Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time.
Forgive yourself for giving away your power.
Forgive yourself for past behaviors.
Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma.
Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.

Empowerment tool

by Dr. George Simon

The single most important empowerment tool is to "accept no excuses" for hurtful, harmful, or inappropriate behavior.

The Other

I know that I recorded this before, but always a good reminder...

The Other Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to stop beating myself up for not doing things perfectly, the courage to forgive myself because I'm working on doing better, and the wisdom to know that you already love me just that way that I am.

It's Biblical

Enlightening...

Divorce is Biblical
by Edith Neumaier

We have been indoctrinated for thousands of years to believe that Jesus did not approve of divorce. First, the Roman Catholic Church insisted that marriage is a sacrament and cannot be dissolved at all. When realizing that in a fallen world this is impossible, they came up with annulment system so people in extreme marital situations had a way out of marriage.

Fortunately, the reformed Christian churches, which includes all evangelical churches, rejected this belief. However, they continued to insist that God doesn't approve of divorce except for adultery. They use the statements of Jesus in Matthew and Mark to prove their case.

Unfortunately, Bible scholars ignored Old Testament scripture in which Moses allowed divorce if the marriage vows were broken. Even though Jesus confirmed this practice in Matthew 19:7 and 8 and in 5:31, they deny Jesus' statements. They would rather trust false translations in order to continue the lie started by the Catholic church.

Before we can understand what Jesus said in Matthew about divorce, we have to acknowledge that Jesus, in order to be recognized as Messiah, had to fulfill the law of Moses. So he had to agree with the law of Moses. However, he also referred to the beginning, before the Fall, when God made the first human being. God's intentions were not for man and the woman to divorce. Unfortunately, after the Fall, because of sin, divorce became inevitable. And therefore, he allowed Moses to regulate divorce.

In the pagan cultures, simply sending one's wife away was normal and was considered an official divorce. However, Moses commanded that the wife was given a certificate before she was sent away, Deuteronomy 24:1. Jesus did uphold this practice.

The only time a wife was not allowed to get a divorce certificate or a get, was when she committed adultery. Any other time, when the wife did not get a divorce certificate, she was not officially divorced and neither was her husband.

During the discussion Jesus had with the Pharisees both parties agreed on these instructions by Moses. However, the problem was not with divorce according to Moses, but with simply sending one's wife away without a divorce certificate. The Pharisees brought a very different problem to Jesus. They asked him, is it lawful to send your wife away. They used the common Roman practice to send one's wife away as a legal practice of divorce and they wanted to know if Jesus approved of this Roman arrangement.

Jesus reminded them about Moses' instructions and added that if a wife does not receive a divorce certificate, even the husband who will remarry will commit adultery and the wife he marries also will do so. He makes it very clear that a divorce certificate was necessary for an official divorce under the Law of Moses.

Unfortunately, some modern translators did not understand this dynamic fully and translated the original word apoluo with divorce. They may have understood sometimes "sending away" or apoluo may infer divorce in certain cultural settings, but the word literally cannot be translated as divorce.

The Greek work apoluo was used 69 times in the New Testament. According to the research of Dan Knight, apoluo was primarily translated set free, release, pardon and secondarily it can mean


let go, send away, or dismiss.

Unfortunately under the secondary meaning, Arndt, Gingrich, and Wilbur added divorce as the use of this word and all translations after 1952 used their suggestions. However the King James Version kept the original translation as "put away." In very few situations, translating apoluo was used in the Greek speaking culture, divorce may have been implied because the behavior of sending one's wife away was synonymous with divorce, but this was not the case in all divorce situations. Clearly, sending one's wife away does not qualify for a divorce under the Law of Moses or under the present American legal system. Apoluo does not mean divorce, it may only imply divorce in very few cases. Translating apoluo with divorce is not only incorrect, but it also distorts Jesus' beliefs and instructions about divorce. Jesus approved the procedures of divorce according to the Law of Moses in which the wife was given a Divorce Certificate and then was sent away or apoluo. However he was strictly against just simply sending one's wife away. Of course Jesus also believed that divorce should be avoided as much as possible.

Not translating the Greek word apoluo correctly, also keeps people in bondage and stuck in abusive situations which God never approves. Jesus came to set us free from the bondage of sin. God allowed divorce because of the human, sinful nature.

One morning

Bears repeating...

One morning she woke up different.
Done with trying to figure out who was with her, against her, or walking down the middle because they didn't have the guts to pick a side. She was done with anything that didn't bring her peace. She realized that opinions were a dime a dozen, validation was for parking, and loyalty wasn't a word but a lifestyle. It was this day that her life changed. And not because of a man or a job but because she realized that life is way too short to leave the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket.

The only way

by A.W. Tozer

Jesus is not one of many ways to approach God, nor is He the best of several ways;
He is the only way.

No fear

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

Bad energy

The body can literally reject someone's energy. Your anxiety will start acting up anytime bad energy disturbs your spirit. Listen to your body.

Keep going

by Harriet Tubman

If you hear the dogs, keep going.
If you see the torches in the woods, keep going.
If there's shouting after you, keep going.
Don't ever stop. Keep going.
If you want a taste of freedom, keep going.

Started raining

I asked God to help me grow,
it started raining.

Didn't love her

You didn't love her

You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was just good for your ego. Or, maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn't love her because you don't destroy people you love.

Completely yourself

Be so completely yourself that everyone else feels safe to be themselves too.

A little more time

God knows that good things take a little more time...

Your reactions

Toxic people condition you to believe the problem isn't the abuse itself, but instead your reactions to their abuse.

A thousand decisions

by Katie Luse

Healing requires a thousand courageous decisions that no one sees or knows to celebrate.

Conceal our pain

True in a way...

by Narin Grewal

Time only teaches us to conceal our pain from others and we learn to grieve all by ourselves.

Subtract

Sometimes God's best way to add to your life is to subtract from it. Certain things have to end so better things can begin. Every loss isn't a loss.

With courage

Trauma permanently changes us.

This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as "getting over it." The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no "back to the old me." You are different now, full stop.

This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life - warts, wisdom, and all - with courage.

Avoid people who

Avoid people who:

1.   Mess with your head
2.   Intentionally and repeatedly do and say things that they know upset you
3.   Expect you to prioritize them but refuse to prioritize you
4.   Can't and won't apologize sincerely
5.   Act like the victim when confronted with their abusive behavior

Love this

My sin was great,
Your love was greater.

To be found

One of my favorites...

She didn't need to be saved. She needed to be found and appreciated for exactly who she was.

The battle

Pretty sure I've seen this thought before...

The reason why so many potential relationships fail is because people are broken yet still trying to date...healing requires isolation and most people haven't conquered the battle of being alone.

In the end

Learned the first part of this many times over...

Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep your mouth shut and your eyes open.
The truth comes out in the end.

Changed

She's changed. You can see it in her eyes, feel it in her touch, and hear it in her tone.
She's not the same, and she's not coming back.

Beautiful soul

A beautiful face will age,
and a perfect body will change,
but a beautiful soul will always be a beautiful soul.

A butterfly

"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked.
"You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."

Stop trying

A strong woman will automatically stop trying if she feels unwanted. She won't fix it or beg, she'll just walk away.

Help someone else

Maybe you went through it and survived just so you could help someone else make it through.

A good heart

You know you have a good heart when you feel bad doing what's best for you.

The light remains

There are some who bring a light so great to the world,
that even after they have gone
the light remains.

How to win

How to win at life:
Step 1. Let people do what they need to do to make them happy,
mind your own business
and do what you need to do to make you happy.

The End

A conversation

Worry is a conversation you have with yourself about things you cannot change.
Prayer is a conversation you have with God about things He can change.

Don't believe you

If people don't believe you, one of three things might be happening:

1.  They are abusers themselves

2.  They are being abused

3.  They are benefiting from the abusive environment.

He/you

from Flying Free

He stabbed you and you apologized for getting blood on the carpet.

Self-care

Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others.

-Parker Palmer

Speak louder

When someone loves you, they don't have to say it.
You can tell by the ways they treat you.
Actions speak louder than words.

Social hierarchies

from Flying Free

Naturally, social hierarchies are safe for those at the top. They're designed to preserve the existing social structure, which already prioritizes the needs and perspectives of the group with power. Social hierarchies don't make less powerful people and groups safer. Rather, they exacerbate any vulnerabilities and pose danger and harm to marginalized people.

If a system relies on the powerful group behaving rightly and not abusing their power, then the system is already unjust and therefore, unsafe, for less powerful groups.

Forgive yourself

by Maya Angelou

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it.

Truth

by Edgar J. Mohn

A lie has speed, but truth has endurance.

No short cut

by A.W. Tozer

No short cut exists for a deeper spiritual life. The man who would know God must give time to Him.

In front of you

Not this bad, but good to know...

Anxiety is so bad. You can have someone in front of you telling you, screaming that they love you.You'll hear it...but that voice in your head is there, telling you no they don't, no one does. It kills and always wins. No one understands.

God's truths

by Randy Alcorn

God's truths are not bricks to throw at people.
They are bread to feed people.

Where to start

Actually not that bad, but can relate...

I'm the girl that's trying to be happy again, but can't because everything is so broken that she doesn't know where to start.

Don't hold yourself back

From Flying Free

by Megan Cox

You don't have to stay with the first therapist you visit. He/she is not your authority. You can choose your child's therapist. You can choose an attorney. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, move on. You do not have to stay with them. I know that you feel that you had to stay with your abuser but not so, anymore. You can walk away. You can remove that person from social media. You can change friend groups or switch churches if you feel unsafe. You do not have to return that email and you no longer have to defend yourself. Sometimes, that is a distraction from the plan God has for you.

Beautiful child of God, Jesus paid a very high price for your freedom. We hold ourselves back because that is what we are used to. We don't have to hold ourselves back. It is a brave, new world out there that is very different from the oppressive situations in which you had found yourself. In fact, that oppressive situation is a teeny, tiny speck on a very large map. Normal, healthy people don't accuse at every turn, they don't crazy-make, they aren't passive-aggressive, and they do not make you feel like you are being questioned all the time. And, if they are and do, leave!

Outward sign

Worry is the outward sign of fear.
Peace is the outward sign of trust in God.

Your story

Don't be ashamed of your story, it will inspire others.   -Zig Ziglar

Like nothing

She can fall apart at night and still rise up in the morning, like nothing. Strong women feel pain, they just don't let it break them!

Dear me

I'm sure I've recorded this before, but good reminder

Dear me, I am sorry. I'm sorry that you tried so desperately to fix others, when your own hands were shaking. I'm sorry that I didn't give you enough time to heal, that I let you seal the wounds of everyone else whilst your own were bleeding. I'm sorry that there were days when smiling hurt but you forced yourself to laugh so that no one had to worry about you. I'm sorry that you gave all of your time and effort to people that didn't give the same amount back. I'm sorry that there were nights when you cried yourself to sleep and no one bothered to understand why. And I am so sorry that I did not love you, like you deserved to be loved.

Spiritually bent

from Flying Free

I believe that because of the fall of man, mankind is spiritually "bent". This sinful bent causes many people to identify with abusers and feel protective of them, rather than identify with survivors of abuse and be protective of them. Hence, the reason why people throw negative labels at survivors of abuse in order to discredit them and shut them up, while bring in admiration of abusers, falling for their cunning deceptions, and wagging their finger at anyone who says anything uncomplimentary about abusers and even remotely hints at the possibility that an abuser isn't a genuine believer.

Collecting stones

Never ignore a person who cares for you, because someday you'll realize you've lost a diamond , while you were busy collecting stones.

The stall

Sometimes God holds you back temporarily until the road is safe and clear to continue.
Be thankful for the stall.

No matter what

When God decides to bless you,
He will cause situations to come together in your favor,
no matter what others try to do.

Last opportunity

by Max Lucado

Forgive and give as if it were your last opportunity.
Love like there's no tomorrow,
and if tomorrow comes,
love again.

Never too much

You will never be too much for the right person: not too clingy, not too needy, not too loud, not too shy, not too caring, not too concerned. They may need their space from time to time, but you will never have to worry if you're being overbearing.

Still believe

by N.R. Hart

I still believe in fairy tales and soulmates and love.
And everything that is magic.

Ambition

Another interesting perspective...

The Cost of Ambition
-Late nights, early mornings
-Lots of associates, but very few friends
-You will be misunderstood
-You will be single unless you're lucky enough to find someone who understands your lifestyle
-You will have to acknowledge that people will want you to do good but never better than them
-For these reasons you will so many things alone

Temporary

Interesting perspective...

She was beautiful, but not like

those girls in the magazines.

She was beautiful for the way

she thought. She was beautiful

for that sparkle in her eyes when she talked

about something she

loved. She was beautiful for 

her ability to make other people

smile even when she was sad.

No, she wasn't beautiful

for something as temporary as

her looks. She was beautiful,

deep down to her soul.

Patience

Have patience and wait for the things you want most. Don't chase it. Don't run after it. If God wants you to have it, He will give it to you.

An impact

by Jane Goodall

You cannot get through 

a single day without having an impact on 

the world around you.

What you do makes a difference,

and you have

to decide what kind of difference

you want to make.

Don't feel guilty

by Daniel Koepke

You don't ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn't matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance - you don't even have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It's one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and "continues" to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.

She realized

She realized she was forgiven,

not because she was worthy, but

because Jesus is. She was loved,

not because she's lovable, but 

because God is loving. She's a 

child of God, not because she's

good enough, but because

He created her.

Authentic

by Carey Nieuwhof, Parent Cue

You have to establish an

authentic, healthy

relationship with your son or daughter if you

hope to be an

influence in their lives.

Sacrifices

Every child is born 

with two parents but

 what's sad is often

 times, only one of

 them makes all the 

sacrifices.

Overloves

Today I read
something that said
"someone who
overthinks is also
someone who
overloves" and
I felt that.

Real fact

I guess the real fact of the matter is...we don't know what tomorrow will bring, and the only thing we really have is...right now. So, don't stay mad for too long. Learn to forgive and love with all your heart. Don't worry about people who don't like you. Enjoy the ones who love you.

A replacement

Appreciate a good 

woman if you have one.

If you lose her, you may

never find a replacement.

Your own mind

I suppose my self-diagnosed anxiety counts as a mental illness... Please pardon the language

Is anyone suffering with mental illness. You are one bada... MF because nothing is more terrifying than battling your own mind every single day.

Always

Soulmates will always end up together. No matter how much love got lost, no matter how much distance there was. You lose each other to find each other again. That's what it's like when someone is meant for you...if they leave, they will return and stay forever.

All things

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

(Just realizing why so many "love" verses-because of Valentine's Day...duh)

1 Corinthians 13:6-7
...(love) does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Waste of energy

Thought I recorded this already, but maybe not...

A strong woman may remain silent when people talk behind her back. But that doesn't mean she doesn't notice. It simply means she chooses not to waste her energy on foolishness. She has more important things to do.

The scriptwriter

by B.K. Shivani

Worry means writing a
negative movie script of life
watching the movie again and again
on the screen of our mind and
creating fear each time.

YOU are the scriptwriter,
director and actor of your movie.

Create what YOU enjoy watching.

Empowers

A safe church empowers & equips all victims to walk away from those who abuse them.

The story

Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought life would be like and learn to find joy in the story you're living.

I know

I know Heaven must be 

beautiful right now...

Because it has you in it.

With someone

Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you, who understands you even in the madness, someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. Fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight.

The Queen

from Flying Free

When the Queen Gets Rejected (A Story to Help You See Who You Really Are!)

She stepped off the shaded veranda into the hot, noisy chaos of the marketplace, sitting her basket a bit to balance more comfortably on her hip. She had an errand, and she energetically set out with a purposeful gait. This was one of her great pleasures in life - to distribute fruit and chocolates to the children, the mothers, and the old folks with their walking sticks. She brought bits of dried venison for the bony dogs weaving through merchant carts. Wherever she went, she was welcomed with smiles of joy and gratitude.

Wait a minute. That's not quite true. Some people actually scowled at her when she offered them a ripe peach. They sneered, "Who do you think you are? Walking around here like you're somebody special. Are you trying to rub your wealth in our faces? So what if you've got fruit and chocolates to give away. You just want attention. You just want everyone to think you're amazeballs. But you're nothing but a stuck up, self-centered woman. You're a fake. A fraud. We see right through you. If you really cared, you'd do what we want you to do. You'd give us better houses and clothes and food. You'd take responsibility for us. You'd obey us. You'd make us happy."

They would not take her peach. They would spit on it, and she would sigh and walk away. She would not defend herself. She had an errand, so she continued on her way, spreading what joy and hope she could with the resources she had.

Because she was the queen.

What about you? When you were a child, did someone communicate to you in some way that you were worth less than nothing? Were your efforts to love and be loved mocked and ridiculed? Did the man you married in your youth treat you like you were a piece of property? Worth something only when you were giving him sex, food, or kudos?

Did you lose sight of you True Identity?

Even a queen will be mistreated at times. Rejected at times. Through no fault of her own, but simply because she will inevitably come into contact with broken individuals as she goes about her business. That's part of living in a broken world. But the queen will stay focused. It doesn't matter if someone spits. She is the queen, regardless. She will go Home to her Father, regardless. She belongs. Regardless.

Jesus paved the way for us. Some will try to have you focus on your sin and your lack. But what if we focused on our King instead? He was the King of all the little kings of the Universe. And they plucked out His beard and made fun of Him with a crown of thorns and killed Him as if He was a criminal. But He never, ever lost sight of Who He was. He knew at the end of the day where He would go. His crown was waiting for Him to put back on, but the crown didn't make Him the king.

And a crown doesn't make you a queen. He makes you a queen, and nothing and nobody can pluck you out of His hands! (John 10:28)/

So go into your day with purpose. And when you are spit on (not if, but when) do not defend yourself. You have an errand. Continue on your way, spreading what joy and hope you can with the resources you have.

Because you are a queen.

Real change

I unfortunately was fooled by something like this...

From Flying Free

The cycles of abuse and addiction contain times of apology and penance. Do not mistake these times for real change.

Specificity in taking responsibility, ongoing empathy for those whom they have harmed and changed behavior without the need to be "seen" as changed are all signs of a more substantial change.

Generalized apologies and token acts of penance are often a smokescreen to get others to believe real change has happened and manipulate others into coming to their defense. Pay attention to their behavior six months later, not their words in the moment.

Please do not ask victims or those harmed by the abuser to "forgive" just because the addict or abuser is in the penance phase of the cycle. It plays right into the cycle. Those harmed need to set and maintain healthy boundaries, not just fling the door open to the next phase of the cycle. Expecting meaningful long term changes is not unforgiveness, it is wisdom. Talking about behaviors that demonstrate an ongoing cycle is not a failure to let go of the past, it is recognition that the problem is more than just individual behaviors.

by Bob Hamp

Miracles

This is so true. Trying to line up to get direct comparison

Miracles we crave:                                                            Miracles the gospel creates:
-Immediate healing                                                           -Perseverance in pain
-Wealth                                                                              -Contentment
-Coming back from death                                                 -Life after death
-Displays of power                                                            -Displays of humility
-Ending of trials                                                                 -Enduring of trials
-Personal triumph                                                              -Divine triumph

Final judgment and glory

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

2 Thessalonians 1:3
God's Final Judgment and Glory
We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is fitting, because your faith grows exceedingly, and the love of every one of you all abounds toward each other.

Greatest gift

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

1 Corinthians 13:1-3
The Greatest Gift
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy , and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers

From Bible Gateway Verse of the Day. Nice timing for the "opposite" one I found a few days ago...

1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil.

Inner peace

I'm slowly learning that even if I react, it won't change anything, it won't make people suddenly love and respect me, it won't magically change their minds. Sometimes it's better to just let things be, let people go, don't fight for closure, don't ask for explanations, don't chase answers and don't expect people to understand where you're coming from. I'm slowly learning that life is better lived when you don't center it on what's happening around you and center it on what's happening inside you instead. Work on yourself and your inner peace.

Preface to this:  There are safe relationships where it is so important and totally worth it to go into the mess together and work through it. We will come out stronger and healthier.

And then there are unsafe relationships where it can be harmful to engage at all.

Learning to recognize which are which is the key.

Gut instinct

Never discredit your gut instinct.
You're not being paranoid.
Your body can pick up
vibrations, some better than
others, And if
something deep inside you
says something is not right
about a person or situation.
Trust it.

Walk away

Walk away...

from arguments that lead 

to anger.

Walk away from people who

deliberately put you down.

Walk away from pleasing

people who

never see your worth.

Walk away

from judgmental people

who do not know your

struggle or what

you've been through.

Walk away 

from your mistakes and

fears, they

don't determine your fate.

The more you walk away

from things

that poison your soul,

the healthier

you will be.

The fire

Some women are lost in the fire
Some women are built from it

Not love

This is eye-opening. Explains the actual verse very well by using the opposite word. Abuse is the opposite of love.

Adapted from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Abuse is impatient, abuse is unkind. It is envious, it boasts, it is proud. It dishonors others, it is self-seeking, it is easily angered, it keeps a record of wrongs. Abuse delights in evil but is miserable with the truth. It never protects, never trusts, never hopes, never perseveres. Abuse always fails...

This hemisphere

This is true. Now I don't feel so bad...

by Victoria Erickson, Rhythm & Roads

So many feel lethargic,
unmotivated or worn out
in this hemisphere.
We are really not made
to rocket straight through winter,
ablaze with energy.
Look at nature.
The ground and plants
and animals
are deep at rest.
This is the natural
way of things.
Spend some time
with the long nights,
the moon, solitude,
the bare earth, stillness.
Be easier on yourself.

Let God fight the battle

by Greg Laurie

Let God Fight the Battle

But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over these people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.  -1 John 4:4


At the time of Israel's exodus from Egypt, there was no mightier army on the face of the earth than Pharoah's army. Imagine what it must have been like for the Israelites to see that army pursuing them with chariots and horses, with shields and swords and spears. If it were happening today, it would have been tanks and hummers and aircraft coming at them all at the same time.

The Israelites thought they were dead. So what did Moses tell them to do? He said, "Don't be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm" (Exodus 14:13-14 NLT). Just stay calm....That's kind of hard to do.

Sometimes the devil comes at us with everything he has, with all his temptations and deceptions. We think we're not going to survive it. Yes, we will. The Bible says, "But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world" (1 John 4:4 NLT).

Christ is in you. You belong to the Lord. Yes, the devil can tempt you. He can hassle you. But he cannot overcome you, because you are under God's protection.

That is why Ephesians 6 tells us about the believer's spiritual armor: the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the sword of the Spirit, and so forth. But before the apostle Paul begins describing this spiritual armor, he writes, "A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power" (Ephesians 6:10 NLT).

Stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today.
 

A feast

From Flying Free

Have you ever been minding your own business, when out of the blue, who you are as a person is attacked? I experienced two of these in one week from two different sources, but after the initial wince from the blows, I was able to go back to Center because of the peace in my home and the love of healthy friends and family.

Everyone needs a place to truly let their hair down and REST in being able to be themselves with no fear. That's peace. That's what it means to be loved.

When I didn't have that in my past, I found it in the hidden place of my relationship with Jesus, and He was enough to get me through. But God's intention was never that His created beings would be so cruel as to drive others into corners where there was nothing but Jesus. God's intention for the human race was a FEAST of fellowship with one another because of what Christ did for us on the cross. He was the Scapegoat so nobody else would have to be.

It's supposed to be a BODY of believers who are unified in spreading love and peace to those around us. Jesus is IN US and living THROUGH US.

If you don't have peace in your life or your home or your relationships, I feel for you. I've spent most of my life in that dark place. Jesus is enough while you continue to feel your way toward the light. And He will help you get there. It might feel like just a tiny glowing ember, but it is there, and you can use it to give a bit of warmth and light to the soul next to you who is also stumbling toward the light.

Make your own mini-feast of fellowship. Be faithful in your dark, and one day you will have a blazing bonfire to share with a wider circle of people. And together, we can set the world on fire with the love of Jesus.

Immense strength

Seems kind of harsh, but can relate somewhat

by Helen Doy

Sometimes I think how useful it would be for people to step into my shoes for 5 minutes when I was with my ex then they would understand the immense strength it took to end the relationship. People can't understand how horrendous it is being with an emotionally abusive narcissist and I hope they never have to.

The Velveteen Rabbit

Love this for some reason...I know I have already recorded it previously

He said, "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you're Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Love your enemies

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Matthew 5:43-45
You have heard that it is said, "You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy." But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

More love

I think some of us were born to give more love than we will ever see in return.

Commitment

I'm not scared of commitment.

I'm scared of giving my all to someone and ending up with nothing again.

Intimacy

by Taylor Jenkins Reid

People think intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is "you're safe with me"- that's intimacy.

It's still

Think this is a strong term, but...

It's Still Domestic Violence

They don't have to hit you, choke you,
or slam your head into a wall
in order for it to be domestic violence.

They can degrade you, humiliate you,
blame you, scream at you, lie to you,
cheat on you, and withhold finances,
or even just try to control you and
it IS still domestic violence.

Meant to

Some things are meant to happen, just not meant to be.
Some things are meant to come into your life, just not meant to stay.

Pretty colors

This is so me...

Forever that girl that gets really excited when the sky is in pretty colors.

Do not discuss

Sending love to everyone who is trying their best to heal from the things they do not discuss.

Stay away

Stay away from people who can't take responsibility for their actions and who make you feel bad for being angry at them when they did you wrong.

Your mind

It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to has power over you, if you allow it.

No time

by Keanu Reeves

None of us is getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after-thought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you're carrying in your heart like hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There is no time for anything else.

Losing your mind

by David Hawkins posted by Toby Mac

Some of you are losing your mind about something God has already worked out.

From panic to prayer

by Greg Laurie

From Panic to Prayer

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank hi for all he has done.     -Philippians 4:6

Some people can sleep through anything. I'm not one of them. If I hear one little noise, I'm awake. If a bird chirps, I'm awake. I'm a light sleeper.

Luke's Gospel tells us that as the disciples battled a violent storm on the Sea of Galilee, Jesus was sound asleep. Water was coming into the boat as it pitched back and forth. The terrified disciples woke up Jesus, crying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!" (Luke 8:24 NLT). Yes, they panicked. But they also prayed. They cried out to the Lord.

When we are in trouble, that's what we need to do. Faith and worry cannot coexist. One chases out the other. Do you know people who don't get along? Maybe you want to invite one of them to your house, but you're hesitant to invite the other. There is always a conflict. Faith and worry are that way. If there is worry, there is no place for faith. Faith is driven out by worry, and worry is driven out by faith.

Philippians 4 tells us, "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus " (verses 6-7 NLT).

I love how the J.B. Phillips translation puts it: "Don't worry over anything whatever; tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer, and the peace of God which transcends human understanding, will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus."

It has been said that if your knees start shaking, kneel on them. When things are scary, pray. Cry out to God.

Through my mind

by Mahatma Gandhi

I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.

Never regret

Worth repeating...

Never regret being a good person to the wrong people. Your behavior says everything about you, and their behavior says everything about them.

With time

From The Black Butterfly

With time, you'll come to see that the frantic, broken, anxious, unhinged version of you was nothing to be ashamed of. You were simply a kindhearted person, reacting to a very unkind situation.

Patterns

by Dr. Thema Bryant-Davis

Pay attention to your patterns. The ways you learned to survive may not be the ways you want to continue to live. Heal and shift.

Difficult times

I'll never forget who helped me in difficult times, who put me in difficult times, and who left me in difficult times.

No place to go

by Jamie Anderson

Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.

Never forget

Never forget: How far you've come. Everything you have gotten through. All of the times when you have pushed on even when you felt you couldn't. All of the mornings you got out of bed no matter how hard it was. All the times you wanted to give up but you got through another day. Never forget how much strength you have learned and developed.

Strong women

The only people who don't like strong women (and call them cold and mean) are those who like to control others for their own purposes. It's time to set the record straight. Be strong.

Past your flaws

When you meet someone who tries their hardest to stick by you regardless of how difficult you are, keep them. Keep them at all costs because finding someone who cares enough to look past your flaws isn't something that happens everyday.

Not because he has to

I love a man who pays attention, not because he has to, but because he genuinely enjoys learning you and understanding you.

False guilting

From Flying Free
The Churchy Abuser by Give Her Wings

I'm counting on your good nature to feel sorry for me so I can use you.
If you get firm or set up boundaries, I will say, "I don't even KNOW you anymore. What happened to you?"
I do that so you will feel false guilt.
I love false guilting you.

When

When you love someone,
when you care for someone,
you have to do it through the good and the bad.
You can't just love someone only when it's happy and easy.

Reflection

Cheaters always accuse you of cheating.
Liars always accuse you of lying.
Insecure people make you feel insecure.
Pay attention to how people treat you.
It's a reflection of who they really are.

Where the love is

by Steve Maraboli

Some people are going to love you no matter what you do, and some people will never love you no matter what you do. Go where the love is.

False narrative

Little harsh but true...

Letting someone create a false narrative of you is a small price to pay for having rid yourself of their toxicity. Let them say what they want, if you and the most high know the truth, your life will flourish and their lies will rot theirs.

Silence

Sometimes, not saying anything is the best answer.
You see, silence can never be misquoted.

Sovereign Savior

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 18:1-2
God the Sovereign Savior
(To the chief Musician. A Psalm of David the servant of the Lord, who spoke to the Lord in the words of this song on the day that the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. And he said:)
I will love you, O Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I will sing

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 59:16

But I will sing of Your power; 

Yes, I will sing aloud of Your mercy in the morning;

For You have been my defense 

And refuge in the day of my trouble.

Bringeth up

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

1 Samuel 2:6
The Lord killeth, and maketh alive:
he bringeth down to the grave, and bringeth up.

Foolishness

From podcast on Flying Free on topic of Foolishness

I felt like I was the one initiating. The reality is that that foolishness, and that destructive emotional abuse was the cause of the end of our relationship.

A fool's mouth is his ruin

Purposely destructive tongue

People who are living with fools will be destroyed

Victim's brains are actually damaged

Constant stress of living with someone who is a fool

Proverbs 19:19  A man of great anger shall bear the penalty, for if you rescue him you will only have to do it again
(Another version: A man of great wrath will suffer punishment; For if you rescue him, you will have to do it again).

Quote from Jan Silvious: The only thing you can know is that if you let go you are making a positive step toward freeing yourself from the complications and chaos that bind you, and you're releasing your fool to the natural consequences of his foolish behavior. When you see the source of your problems, and are willing to admit that only God can change your fool, you will have stepped out of denial into reality, where only God can work. By letting go, you remove yourself from the fool's realm of influence, and you give up responsibility for your fool. It is a conscious effort on your part, as well as an act of faith. If you will determine to remove your fool from the center of your attention by detaching and leaving him in God's hands, then and only then will you see what God can do.

Shame

by Christine Cain

The enemy will shame you in the area God wants to use you the most.

All

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Deuteronomy 6:4-5
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

A gift

Forgiveness is a gift meant to free your mind and heart. Not a permission for your trust to be betrayed again.

More impossible

by Greg Laurie

Between the Impossible and the More Impossible

As Pharaoh approached, the people of Israel looked up and panicked when they saw the Egyptians overtaking them. They cried out to the Lord.     -Exodus 14:10

Have you ever been in a situation in which the only way out was God? Maybe it was a report from  a doctor that gave no real hope. Maybe it was a financial catastrophe where you were on the brink of collapse. Maybe it was a marriage that was completely unraveling. (My note: yes to all of these so far). Maybe it was a family conflict that was impossible to resolve. You didn't think you could possibly survive such a thing.

In Exodus 14 that's the very scenario the Israelites were facing. They were caught between an unconquerable army and and impassable sea. They were caught between the impossible and the more impossible. But what they were about to discover was that with God, all things are possible.

When God brought judgment on the earth in the days of Noah, things were looking pretty bleak. Genesis 8:1 says, "Then God remembered Noah, and every living thing, and all the animals that were with him in the ark. And God made a wind to pass over the earth, and the waters subsided" (NKJV). You see, God had made a promise to Noah that they would find land and begin again. And God always keeps His promises.

Then there was Joseph, who was betrayed by his own brothers. They thought he was dead. But God spared his life, and Joseph said to them, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people" (Genesis 50:20 NLT).

Even death does not have the final word. Death can seem so permanent, so hopeless. But Psalm 49:15 says, "But as for me, God will redeem my life. He will snatch me from the power of the grave" (NLT).

God is bigger than any problem you're facing right now.

5 things

5 Things I wish I'd known when I left:

1.  Leaving is only the first step in recovering from an abusive relationship.
2.  You may develop PTSD.
3.  Friends and family that you expect, or need, support from may not be capable of providing it.
4.  Some will not want to hear or believe your story.
5.  There is potential for re-victimization from lawyers, therapists and the court system that do not
      understand domestic violence/emotional abuse.

Preparation may not prevent the pain, but it can allow you to brace yourself for it. -Rachel

Go on

I know I've recorded this before, but a good reminder...

by Elizabeth Ammons

You can shed tears because they are gone, or you can smile because they lived. You can close your eyes and pray they will come back, or you can open your eyes and see all that they left for you. Your heart can be empty because you can't see them, or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live for yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember only that they are gone, or you can cherish their memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind and feel empty, or you can do what they would want. Smile, Open your heart, Love...and go on.

Physical pain

Psychologists say...
When you are
ignored by the
person whose
attention means
the most to you,
the reaction in your
brain is similar
to physical pain.

Treats you badly

If someone treats you badly, just remember that there is something wrong with them, not you.
Normal people don't go around destroying other human beings.

Warped

Probably from Flying Free

After finally leaving my abusive marriage, I began to realize how warped my thinking had become...
I thought God cared more about my marriage than my life.

She realized

She realized she was forgiven,

not because she was worthy, but

because Jesus is. She was loved,

not because she's lovable, but

because God is loving. She's a 

child of God, not because she's 

good enough, but because

He created her.

So short

Life is so short.

We spend so much time sweating

the small stuff; worrying, complaining,

gossiping, comparing, wishing, wanting

and waiting for something bigger and 

better instead of focusing on all the

simple blessings that surround us

everyday.

Life is so fragile and all it takes is a

simple moment to change everything

you take for granted. Focus on

what's important and be grateful.

You are blessed! Believe it!

Live your life and leave no regrets.

A good mom

Want to be a good mom?

Take care of yourself.

Cry. Run. Lift. Go to therapy. Scream. Be alone. Take a bubble bath. Get a baby sitter. Quit your job. Get a job. Ride around town and blast your radio. Get your nails done. Tell anyone who doubts you to kiss it. Whatever needs to be done, do it.

We need you to be okay. You got this.

Don't let anyone

Don't let anyone invalidate

or minimize how you feel. If you feel

something, you feel it and it's real to you.

Nothing anyone says has the power to

invalidate that, ever. No one else lives in your

body. No one else sees life through your eyes.

No one else has lived through your experiences.

And so, no one else has the right to dictate or

judge how you feel. Your feelings are

important and deserve to be heard. They 

are inherently valid and they matter.

Don't let anyone make you 

believe otherwise.

Connect

When you connect with people who are good for you, you feel it. This is a big deal. Don't forget to acknowledge how great it is to be around someone who lights you up. Tell them, even if you feel a little weird. Your people love your weirdness.

Goal

by Yung Pueblo

Goal:  calmness during difficult situations.

Without an agenda

by Toby Mac

If you want to help someone heal,
love them without an agenda.

Something comforting

by Toby Mac

There's something comforting

 about a billion stars

 held steady by a 

God who knows 

what He is doing.

Never forget

May I never forget on my best day, that I still need God as desperately as I did on my worst.

Being alone

The reason why so many potential relationships fail is because people are broken yet still trying to date...healing requires isolation and most people haven't conquered the battle of being alone...

When you're quiet

Someone told me

"Only those who care about you, can hear you when you're quiet."

Leave the table

by Nina Simone

You've got to leave the table when love's no longer being served.

One thing I am sure of

by Akif Kichloo

If there's one thing I am sure of, I am sure that you have always belonged with me.

Trust

Trust is everything in a relationship, and when it is broken, it becomes the only issue to work on. Either fix that or end the relationship.

Satisfied

A satisfied life is better than a successful life.

Because our success is measured by others,
but our satisfaction is measured by our own soul, mind, and heart.

The right relationship

By Toby Mac

The right relationship will never distract you from God. It will bring you closer to Him.

Any woman

Any woman can spend a man's money, ride in his car, order off the menu. But only a real woman can help a man achieve his goals in life, support him when he is broke, push him to be successful, shower him with positive energy, compliment him on a regular basis and never kick him while he is down. If you find a woman like that, make her your real partner for life.

What is coming

This made me tear up a little when I read it...

What is coming is better than what is gone.

A full heart

I am not perfect. I say stupid things sometimes. I laugh when I'm not supposed to. I have scars left by people who did me wrong. I'm a little crazy, and probably won't change. Love me or not. But I make you one promise, that if I love you, I do it with a full heart.

Picky

If you knew how hard 

it was and how long it took

to rebuild my little universe

of peace and happiness then

you would understand why

I'm so picky about who

I allow in my life.

Her heart

Her heart is so large that she doesn't even know how to give up on people, even when they deserve it.

Gradually

I think this was posted in response to the recent changes in abortion laws...

by Joni Eareckson Tada

And gradually, though no one remembers exactly how it happened, the unthinkable becomes tolerable. And then acceptable. And then legal. And then applaudable.

Sometimes

Sometimes you have to keep your good news to yourself.

Everybody is not genuinely happy for you.

My note: I learned this the hard way, many times over...

That kind of power

She's been through hell and came out, an angel.
You didn't break her, darling.
You don't own that kind of power.