I was thinking last night about this "grief journey" and wondered how I would answer someone if they asked me how I was doing. I was thinking this last night after Hope's game because there were people I hadn't seen for a while like Mrs. Calder, Mrs. Brown, etc.
I feel like I am out of the deep trenches of the initial grief, like I am a little bit detached from it and am able to view everything that happened from "above", even though that sounds weird. Initially, there was so much sorrow and pain tied to everything that everything was blurred through tears. Now I feel like I have transcended that somewhat and can look at everything more objectively with the information that I have learned about grief, truths from the Bible, etc. I feel like I am on a higher level now. Even though everything still hurts, it doesn't cut through my heart so painfully. I'm thankful for that in a way, but it's also weird. Back to looking at everything from above, I feel like I can look at all of the different pieces of this situation and maybe think about how they fit together.
Now I have to figure out what I am coming back to and what the purpose of the rest of my life is. I know my main purpose is Hope and Carter for the rest of the time they are home. I guess I don't have to figure it out for myself-God will tell me. Love you so much sweet boy!
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