I don't feel like I am ready at this moment to start writing this, but I wanted to set it up for when I am, hopefully later today. This weekend I was thinking of all of the extra-special times we had with you that showed that God knew your accident was coming and he orchestrated extra-special times for us to have with you like Disney, the Mud Hens game with Hope, your graduation party, time at the Bush's lake, dinner at Sonic, etc. (Note to self-please rewrite this intro-just jotting down ideas).
This keeps popping up even though I want to avoid it for some reason. Feeling very restless today and antsy. Dad is bugging me so much with all this money he is just spending everywhere when he doesn't even technically have a job right now and doesn't know for sure when he is going to start. I don't know how he can operate that way, thinking everything is going to work out a certain way or a certain time when he should know that it never happens that way. I just want to hold on to as much money as possible because I don't know how long it needs to last, and he's buying power tools and paying for extra work to be done while Jim across the street is available, etc.
He doesn't realize how lucky he is that I have a good job that I can still function and perform even though he can't right now and that I get that bonus which is helping greatly and recently was able to get health insurance, etc. He takes everything for granted! And then he treats me like crap when I'm the one that is keeping everything together! I don't know how much more strength I have to do all of this. It's one thing to do it, but to get pestered about everything to boot is a little too much.
I pretty much ruined this post. I will change the title and start another one. Sorry! Love you!
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