Good answer

From Flying Free FB page

I was asked on another site about the blood of Christ and an abusive man. Can Jesus change the heart of an abusive and violent man, who has lived only to harm and tear down and destroy? Here is my answer to a very good question:

That is a very good question. We, of course, believe that the blood of Christ has infinite power and worth, since he is the Eternal Son of God. His blood can cleanse from all sin - even heinous sin. But the new birth of the Holy Spirit is God's prerogative, and the "wind blows where it wants" (John 3:8). Ephesians 1 and 2 teach us that the new birth and salvation are miraculous, supernatural events - the same power that raised Jesus from the dead.

When it comes to applying this to abusive and deceitful men, the Bible teaches us that we are to make our decisions and act according to wisdom. Believing in the power of God means that we understand that Jesus can turn water into wine; but wisdom means we buy wine before our dinner parties and don't just fill waterpots with water. Faith teaches us that Jesus can walk on water, but wisdom builds bridges. Building a bridge and buying a bottle of wine are not acts of unbelief, since God also created the natural order of things, and we trust him with our crops and our science and our bridges.

But wisdom acts according to natural order, and wisdom teaches us that as the dog returns to vomit, so a fool returns to folly. Wisdom teaches that abusers say all sorts of things, cry all sorts of tears, they can and do fake every fruit of the spirit, and as soon as the pressure is off, like a dog returning to vomit, they return to abusing. It is what they do.

Can God change them? Of course he can. But I won't put my loved ones in danger any more than I will jump off a cliff and say "Catch me, Lord!" In fact, that is forbidden. Thou shalt not tempt the Lord your God.

David truly repented, and we read about it in Psalm 51. True repentance didn't make any demands, didn't insist on restoration, didn't demand that everyone just move on and forget about it. Real sin has real consequences and true repentance accepts those and accepts the blame in its entirety. Of course God can change a heart. But I've never seen it in the case of an abuser. They say all sorts of stuff, and then they return freely to their own vomit. It's in their nature. They continue to choose freely to abuse and hurt and destroy.

Accepting that doesn't make one less faithful; it brings one in line with the teaching of Scripture. In fact, accepting that and acting accordingly is truly the only way to heal and to begin to live in freedom - putting away anger and wrath and malice. Be free in the gospel, and leave the abusers in the hands of the One Who judges rightly.

Hope this helps.