Making others happy

10 Lessons from When Making Others Happy is Making You Miserable

1. People-Pleasing is a Form of Self-Sacrifice

Constantly trying to please others comes at a cost to your own mental and emotional health. People-pleasers often neglect their own needs, leading to burnout and resentment.

2. Saying "No" is a Healthy Boundaries Practice

Learning to say "no" is essential for preserving your energy and maintaining healthy relationships. It allows you to focus on what truly matters without feeling guilty.

3. The Root of People-Pleasing is Often Fear

Fear of rejection, conflict, or not being loved is a driving force behind people-pleasing behavior. Understanding this can help you address the underlying issues and work through them.

4. You Can't Control Others' Reactions

No matter how hard you try, you can't control how others perceive you. Letting go of this need for control frees you from the stress of constantly seeking approval.

5. Self-Worth Shouldn't Be Tied to External Validation

Your value isn't determined by others' opinions or expectations. True self-worth comes from within, and aligning your actions with your values leads to greater fulfillment.

6. It's Okay to Disappoint Others Sometimes

It's impossible to please everyone all the time. Disappointing others can be uncomfortable, but it's necessary to your own well-being and authenticity.

7. Recognize the Dangers of Enabling

People-pleasing can sometimes lead to enabling others' poor behavior. It's important to recognize when you are overextending yourself and enabling unhealthy dynamics.

8. Practice Self-Care Without Guilt

Taking time for yourself isn't selfish. It's essential for maintaining emotional health and having the energy to care for others when needed.

9. Reframe Your Perspective on Conflict

Conflict isn't necessarily a bad thing. Healthy disagreements and differing opinions are a part of life, and they can lead to stronger, more honest relationships.

10. Seek Support and Accountability

Breaking the cycle of people-pleasing can be challenging, but seeking support from trusted friends, a counselor, or a mentor can help you stay accountable and reinforce your new mindset.

(Book is by Karen Ehman)