Too many stories

This is really good~

from Flying Free

by Ellen Renee

Married Man/Divorced Father:

Yes, I struggle with porn addiction. I just have so many pent up emotions, physical needs and my wife doesn't/didn't make herself available enough. She's let herself go, she doesn't work out or eat well, she didn't lost the baby weight still, and she isn't willing to try new things in bed.

Church leaders:

We totally understand, of course, you'd turn to porn. It's almost inevitable, what other choice did you have? You're trying to cope with sexual neglect and getting your NEEDS met. We're here to help you, remove shame and gently hold you accountable so you can be free. You're not alone. Let us know what we can do to help you.

Court professionals:

What he's doing sexually is completely none of our business, as long as he isn't showing it to the kids or in front of the kids. He's a great dad irrelevant of what choices he makes to cope with pain.

Married Woman/Divorced Wife:

Yes, I struggle with depression/anxiety/trauma and I've turned to alcohol, substances, food or romantic relationships. I'm hurting so much in this relationship and I don't know where else to turn for help. My husband/ex threatens, dismisses, undermines, betrays, manipulates, intimidates, neglects, assaults, etc. me and I'm so scared and exhausted all the time. I'm so sorry. I'm so ashamed.

Church leaders:

We are stunned by your sin. You realize you have ruined your family. You are clearly unstable. How can your husband possibly manage such an unruly, sinful wife? You are the one who sets the tone of the home. You should have done more, been more, not done, not been and then you wouldn't be dealing with this. Obviously your husband isn't the problem, it's your heart. It's deceitful above all things and you've given yourself over into temptation. Shame, guilt, condemnation, punishment.

Court professionals:

What you're doing is completely our business, even if you're not doing these things during your custody time with your children and they haven't seen you engage in these poor coping skills. This reveals your weak and unstable character. I think we need to consider removing the children from your home until you can prove to be a more fit mother.

Stop the double standard. Change the narrative. Get to the root of the problem and show mercy to the humble and justice to the contempt.