Patience

 Patience is bitter,

but its fruit is sweet.

~Jean-Jacques

Better

 From All True Men

After you get married, you're going to meet

"better" people than your spouse. You're going to

meet more good-looking people, kinder and more

romantic people; more intelligent and funny

people. You will meet people who have in

abundance what your partner lacks. The mushy

and romanticized idea that your partner will be

everything to you, and will satisfy all your needs

and wants is idolatry. Contentment in marriage is a

virtue not often spoken about.

You must wake up every day appreciating

everything your partner is to you, everything they

have, their beauty and the things that made you

marry them because if you focus on everything 

they don't do well, you'll always meet better

people. Protect your heart! See their best part,

and always remember that your commitment to

marry is more of a duty than it is of mushy

feelings. You have to stay committed even on the

days you feel your spouse is no longer the best fit 

for you...

~Buchi

Build

When God wants to build a man,

He breaks the boy first.

Stay strong, the shaping hurts.

~Traditional Male

Insecure

It's insane, how many people are 

insecure about their appearance but

not their character...

Desperately want

 WE WILL ALWAYS desperately

want FROM OTHER people

WHAT WE fear WE WILL
never GET FROM God.

~Lysa Terkeurst

As they are

Go and love someone exactly as they are.

And then watch how quickly

they transform into the greatest,

truest version of themselves.

When one feels seen

and appreciated in their own essence,

one is instantly empowered.

~Wes Angelozzi 

Small space

 I asked my 5 year old if he

wanted to go to dinner and he

really said to me -- "I've been in 

the large world today & now I

need to be in a small space."

There has no point in 

my life that I've been able to

express that feeling as well as

he just did.

Dusted

 I bet

if we dusted

his heart for 

fingerprints,

we'd only

find yours.

~Rudy Francisco

Challenge you

A healthy relationship will

challenge you to love your

partner the way they need to be

loved, not just the way that is

comfortable for you.

The situation

This year taught me that

God does not always 

change the situation.

Sometime He changes you

so the situation no longer

has power over you.

~Nii A Okromansah Jr.

How great

The moment anyone tries to demean or degrade you 

in any way, you have to know how great you are.

Nobody would bother to beat you down if you were

not a threat. 

~Cicely Tyson

Join you two

God didn't join you two

for comfort. He joined you

for calling. Don't quit

the marriage that heaven is

still shaping. 

Before the blessing

 From Word of Encouragement

Right before the blessing hits, life somehow feels

impossibly heavy. Lord, sometimes it feels like too

much, like maybe I've missed it or I'm not strong

enough to keep standing in this place. But then

You remind me: this pressure isn't random, it's the

birth of something. You have set it in motion. That

ache? That stretching? That's You: ushering in

something new, something holy. You didn't say

we'd never face hard things, but You did say, "Be

strong and courageous...for the Lord your God is

with you." (Joshua 1:9). You're still here in the 

middle of my waiting, in the thin place just before

breakthrough. So, I'll push. I'll trust. I'll believe that

breakthrough is crowning. God, finish what You

started.

Not too much

 from @reviveyourroar

nothing

was wrong with her.

she was reacting

to a life

that

wasn't

safe.

she wasn't too much.

she was in too deep.

a big difference.

Ask again

 "Ask God again."

Ask again. No matter how big or small.

Ask again. No matter how easy or impossible.

Ask again. Just ask God again.

Today, as you open your mouth and ask God

again, you'll meet a miracle with your name

written all over it.

In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Don't be surprised

Don't be surprised when God aligns your partner,

your purpose, and your prosperity in the same 

season.

Healing clears space.

Obedience opens doors.

Patience prepares your heart.

What felt delayed was actually protection.

What felt lonely was alignment.

God does not bless chaos.

He blesses readiness.

When love feels safe, work feels lighter.

When purpose is clear, money follows peace.

You will not have to force it.

You will not have to beg.

What is meant for you will arrive connected, not

scattered.

This season will make sense of the tears.

The waiting will finally feel holy.

And you will realize God wasn't taking anything

away.

He was setting everything up at once.

Don't be surprised when God

aligns your partner, your

purpose, and your prosperity in 

the same season.

Not incompatible

 THE THERAPIST SAID

SOMETHING THAT

CHANGED EVERYTHING:

"You're not incompatible. You're just

both trying to feel safe in opposite

ways.

One person needs closeness to feel

secure.

The other needs space to feel okay.

One person talks through problems.

The other needs to process alone first.

One person wants reassurance.

The other shows love through action,

not words.

We spent years thinking we were wrong

for each other.

Turns out we just needed to understand

what safety looks like for each of us.

And stop taking it personally when our

partner's needs looked different.

Compatibility isn't about wanting the

same things.

It's about respecting different ways of

getting there.

Unpopular opinion

 Unpopular opinion:

Marriage only benefits a

woman when the man is

truly capable of guiding,

supporting, and securing.

Otherwise, she's just adding

burdens to a life she already

handles alone.

Unpopular opinion: Marriage only benefits a woman when the man is truly capable of guiding, supporting, and securing. Otherwise she's just adding burdens to a life she already handles alone. Let's be honest, too many women get married and end up with more work, not less. They're still doing everything they did before, but now they're also managing a grown man who acts like another child.

A women who's already financially independent, emotionally mature, and capable of taking care of herself doesn't need marriage to survive. So why would she choose it? She chooses it because she believes a partner will add value to her life, not subtract from it.

She expects someone who can genuinely lead when needed, contribute meaningfully, and create a sense of security and partnership. But what does she often get instead? A man who needs to be managed, reminded, and mothered.

If she's still paying all the bills, making all the decisions, handling all the emotional labor, doing all of the housework, and carrying the mental load of the entire household, what exactly does marriage add to her life besides legal paperwork and someone else's laundry? That's not partnership; that's taking on a dependent while losing your freedom.

Women don't need marriage for survival anymore. They need it to enhance an already good life. So if a man isn't bringing leadership, financial contribution, emotional support, and genuine partnership to the table, then marriage becomes a downgrade, not an upgrade. And no woman should settle for that just to say she's married.

Paid daily

 from @reviveyourroar

it's wild

how little it takes

to destroy yourself,

& how much 

it costs

to

come

back.

the price

is paid

daily.

About gratitude

Truth about gratitude.

It's not about being thankful for what you

have. It's about being aware of what you 

could lose. Your health, freedom, loved

ones, opportunities. Everything you take

for granted someone else is praying for.

Gratitude is just perspective properly

adjusted.

~@scottdclary

Deserves

 You live in a body that has survived

medical trauma, emotional betrayal,

sexual violation, and psychological

warfare. And that body deserves

peace, trust, and tenderness. From 

now on, the privileges of you come

with the responsibilities of you.

Never the problem

 I heard a therapist once say...

"Healing is the child discovering they

were never the problem."

And that one hit hard.

Confused

 From Dishkiyoo

A confused man

will only steal

your peace,

your love,

and your time.

he won't offer clarity.

he'll offer mixed signals.

he won't build stability.

he'll create anxiety.

his uncertainty becomes

your overthinking.

his indecision becomes

your emotional labor.

confusion is not harmless.

it's expensive.

it costs you sleep.

self trust.

and years you don't get back.

a man who doesn't know

what he wants

will use your patience

to delay his growth.

choose clarity.

choose consistency.

peace doesn't live

where direction is missing.

Mistreats

 The Bible is clear:

A man who mistreats his wife

blocks his own blessings.

God does not honor a heart that

dishonors his home.

Cried enough

I saved this a few weeks ago...

From Ancestral Healing

You've cried enough for him.

You've spent countless nights holding back sobs, hoping he would come back, hoping he would change, or at least acknowledge the pain he caused.

But all that pain, all those tears, you carried them alone while he moved on without a second thought.

You broke yourself trying to understand why he couldn't love you the way you deserved. You begged, stayed silent, forgave too much, and gave too many chances.

You loved him deeply, even when he gave you nothing but confusion and heartache in return.

But now, it's time to stop. You've cried enough. Your tears won't bring him back, and even if they did, he isn't the kind of love you need.

He isn't the safe place you thought he could be. You have mourned the love you hoped for, and that's okay, but you can't keep living in that space.

There comes a moment where you must choose yourself, even if it hurts. There is strength in letting go, power in standing back up, and beauty in rediscovering yourself beyond the pain.

So wipe those tears, not because you're fully healed, but because you're choosing to rise.

You're choosing to heal, to grow, to stop begging for love that should have been freely given.

You've cried enough for someone who never deserved your softness. Now, it's time to pour that love back into you.

~Minda A. Mateo

Find her

 When you find her you'll

know. She's going to change

your life. Let her. It's going

to hurt. Embrace it. She's

going to show you who

you're meant to be. "Grow."

She has healing to do too...

Don't push her away, she

needs you more than you

know. Carry her, as she

carries you. She is yours!

When you find her, you'll know.

There won't be confusion, hesitation, or second-

guessing -- just a quiet certainty in your chest that

this woman is different.

She's going to change your life in ways you didn't

even realized you needed. Let her.

She'll challenge the parts of you that you've kept

hidden, the parts you've ignored, and the parts

you've been afraid to face.

It's going to hurt sometimes -- embrace it. Growth

always does.

She's going to show you who you're meant to be.

Grow with her.

Not out of pressure, but because being loved by

her will awaken parts of you you never knew you

had.

She will push you toward your potential, not by

force, but simply by being who she is.

But remember this:

She has healing to do too.

She carries her own scars, fears, and memories

she doesn't talk about.

Sometimes she'll pull back, not because she

doesn't love you, but because she's scared of 

being hurt again.

Sometimes she'll overthink, shut down, or test the

safety of your love.

Don't push her away.

That's when she needs you the most --

not to fix her, not to rescue her, but to stand

steady while she finds her balance.

Be her calm when her past tries to shake her.

Be her warmth when the world feels cold.

Be her reassurance that good love still exists.

Carry her, just as she carries you --

not with weight, but with understanding.

Not with control, but with care.

Not with expectation, but with loyalty.

Love her through her healing,

support her through her becoming,

and watch how she blooms in a way only safe love

allows.

Because she is yours --

not because you claimer her,

but because her soul chose yours,

and you chose hers right back.

See?

 I promise you that one day

when we are old, I will take

your hand and looking into

your eyes, I will say:

See? I was right.

You are the love of my life.

~From my poetry book, "Confessions to the Moon"

A thousand ways

I've looked at you

in a thousand ways.

And I swear,

I love you

in every one of them.

~From my poetry book "Confessions to the Moon"

The innkeeper

I wonder if the 

innkeeper ever

regretted not

making more room

for Jesus.

And I wonder if we

do that too sometimes --

close our doors

on the most important

knock in the world.

And then miss out

on the miracle.

~ullie-kaye

Difficult

 In English we say,

"I will not give up,

even though things are difficult.

But in poetry, we say:

"Though storms may rage and thunder roll,

They cannot break my anchored soul.

I'll stand amidst the driving rain,

And forge my armor out of pain."

Passive

 I grew up with this...

A passive man damages

his home without ever

raising his voice.

A passive man

damages his home

without ever raising his voice.

silence can wound

just as deeply as shouting.

a man who refuses to lead,

refuses to communicate,

refuses to take responsibility

creates a heaviness

his family learns to carry alone.

his absence shows up

in her stress,

in her exhaustion,

in the tension no one talks about

but everyone feels.

homes don't fall apart

from chaos alone.

sometimes they crumble

from neglect,

disengagement,

and a man who chooses comfort

over commitment.

passivity is not peace.

it is destruction

done quietly.

The value

 God placed this on my

heart for you...Someone is

realizing the value of your

presence, and their heart

is shifting in ways only

God could influence.

That dream

God whispers: I didn't give you

that dream just to tease you. I 

gave it to you because we

gonna make it happen.

So rooted

 By Toby Mac

Be so rooted

in God's plan

that even

disappointment

feels like divine

protection.

The plane

 If you knew the plane was

going to crash, would you still

board it just because you

spent a lot on a ticket?

I'm not talking about planes.

Don't leave

 Women don't leave

safe, stable, supportive,

loving men.

Remember that.

Heal

 I've seen marriages heal when a

man finally decides to mature.

Not overnight. Not instantly.

But day by day, pattern by

pattern, he becomes who God

called him to be.

Pearls before swine

 By Todd Coconato

You Need To Hear This...Don't Cast Pearls Before Swine

There are times when the Lord presses something on your heart so strongly that you almost feel it before you think it. You need to hear this...not everything God has given you is meant for everyone.

Not every person in your life is ready for the depth of what He has placed in your spirit. Jesus said, "Do not cast your pearls before swine," and even though that sounds intense at first, it is actually tender wisdom from a Father who wants to protect you. Pearls don't look dramatic. They are quiet....steady...formed through pressure and hidden process. They are valuable because they cost something. The things God has been building in you, the things you've prayed over, wept over, waited for, and fought through...those are your pearls.

And in today's world, you really see how important this warning is. Everyone has a platform. Everyone has an opinion. People judge quickly...comment quickly...misunderstand quickly. There are people who watch your life without truly seeing you. Some don't want to understand what God is doing in you...they just want something to talk about. Some only show up to criticize or compare.

When Jesus said not to cast your pearls before swine, He wasn't calling people names. He was saying,"Be careful who you trust with the holy things." Some folks simply don't have the spiritual capacity or maturity to handle what God has given you. That doesn't make them bad...it just makes your pearls too precious for careless hands.

Maybe you've been trying to open your heart to people who don't value what you carry. Maybe you've been explaining your calling to people who aren't walking with the Lord at that depth. Maybe you've been sharing dreams with folks who barely believe for their own future. You need to hear this...you are not required to hand over the treasures God gave you to people who don't recognize their worth.

Protect what is sacred. Guard your anointing. It's not pride...it's wisdom. There is a difference between being open and being unprotected. God never asked you to be transparent with people who are committed to misunderstanding you.

This matter even more right now because the spiritual atmosphere is intense. The battle is real. The world feels noisy. People are easily triggered by truth. And here you are, carrying revelation...carrying discernment...carrying a sense of what God is doing in this hour. But not every ear can hear it. Not every heart is ready for it. And not every person is safe.

The Holy Spirit will show you who can handle your pearls. He will highlight the ones who will cherish what you share...who will pray with you...who will carry the burden with you instead of picking it apart.

So here is the word for today. Be kind. Be loving. Be generous. But be wise. Stop explaining yourself to people who only show up to argue. Stop trying to convince people who have already made up their minds. Stop setting yourself up for unnecessary hurt by giving sacred things to people who don't know what to do with them. Instead, pour your pearls into the Kingdom. Into the hungry. Into the faithful. Into those who walk in honor and humility. Those are the ones who will value what God has placed inside you.

You need to hear this...your pearls are precious. Treat them like they are.

Born again

 born again.

in english, we say, "i am born again."

in poetry, we say, "some people are so

poor that they have only been born once.

but to know a second birth is to be rich

in such a way that death will not have

the final say over my existence."

~ullie-kaye

Nothing to do

A gentle reminder that the

way people treat you, has 

everything to do with their

character and nothing to do

with your worth

A difference

 There is a difference

between giving up

and

knowing when you

have had

enough.

Clarity

 God wants you to 

hear this today...

Someone is thinking

about you with a  

clarity they didn't 

have before.

Repeated actions

From Issues of Life

Before she broke up with me, she said:

"I'm not here to control you. I'm here to build with

you. I wanted a partnership, a connection where

both of us feel safe, valued, and respected. You

have every right to live your life, make your

choices, follow your path...but the choices you

kept making kept showing me exactly where I 

stood in your life -- and it wasn't where I deserved

to be.

I've told you what hurts me, what makes me feel 

unsafe, what crosses the boundaries I've set with

love and care. I've been honest, I've

communicated, I've tried to be clear -- but you kept

doing the same things anyway.

At some point, repeated actions stop being

mistakes and start showing who a person truly is.

And I can't keep loving someone who won't stand

with me, who won't meet me in this life we were

trying to build. I can't keep giving my heart to

someone who won't protect it as fiercely as I

protect theirs."

Before she broke up with me she said:

"I'm not here to control you. I'm here

to build with you. You have every

right to live your life...but your

choices keep showing me exactly

where I stand in it. I've told you what

hurts me, what makes me feel unsafe,

what crosses a boundary but you still

do it anyway.

At some point it stops being a mistake

and starts being who you are. And I

can't keep loving someone who won't

stay on my side."

Silent treatment

The silent treatment:

1.  Silent treatment is emotional punishment disguised as "needing space."

2.  Silent treatment is withdrawing love to control your reactions.

3.  Silent treatment is manipulation that forces you to chase clarity.

4.  Silent treatment is a power play meant to create insecurity.

5.  Silent treatment is refusing communication to avoid accountability.

6.  Silent treatment is blocking healing by shutting down dialogue completely.

7.  Silent treatment is making you beg for basic human connection.

8.  Silent treatment is emotional abandonment used to regain dominance. 

What do you do

 "What do you do when the person you

love doesn't love you back?" she asked.

"You keep loving them," I said. "Because

love is like a disease. You don't get to

decide when to stop. You don't get to

make that choice."

Power

there is power

between

the two of us

an electricity

we could power a city with

if only we knew how

there is something

between us

you and I

some kind 

of magic

Go silent

 People who go silent when something

upsets or hurts them, are often

experiencing a coping mechanism called

emotional withdrawal. It's not that they

have nothing to say, it's that their system

learned that silence is safer than being

misunderstood. Instead of expressing anger

or frustration, they hold it in.

High place

 God didn't design marriage

to be an idol or the source

of your peace, rest, and stability.

That's why it hurts so bad when

your spouse lets you down. You've 

had them lifted up in a high place

that they never belonged.

In return

I didn't even realize

that I was lying

when I told you

"I will love you,

unconditionally..."

Because, I did

have a condition.

I expected

to be loved in return.

~E.V.

Allowed

 If God allowed the 

separation, He has a reason

for the season, even this

Thanksgiving.

Real

 From Soulful Videos

we slept together,

showered skin to skin,

created soul ties,

said i love you,

kissed with morning breath,

talked about our past, present, future,

our dreams,

cried in each other's arms.

so no,

i cannot thug this out.

it's not just a physical connection,

it's the emotional bond,

the intimacy shared,

the vulnerability exposed.

you can't just walk away from that,

not without feeling the weight of it.

it's not something you can turn off,

not something you can ignore.

this was real.

and it hurts more than people think.

Purest things

 One of the purest things is

someone trying to fix themselves so

they can love you exactly how you

deserve to be loved.

Avoided

 The person who avoided their own

feelings was never going to know

how to hold yours. You were asking

for something they didn't know how

to give, even though they cared.

~Dean Blankfield

Not happy

 Only people who are not

happy with themselves are

mean to others. Always 

remember that. 

Busy solitude

 The happiest of all

lives is a busy solitude.

~Voltaire, Correspondence

Love right

"It's okay, I didn't know how to love

you right either. The only difference

is that while you gave up, I never

wanted to stop trying to learn how."

~Moriah Pearson

All of it

 I'm thankful

for all of it.

The highs.

The lows.

The blessings.

The lessons.

The setbacks.

The comebacks.

Everything.

by TobyMac

Softening the heart

 Before you start

your day, God wants

to remind you...He's

softening the heart

of someone who

needed divine

correction.

Loves best

 A wife loves her husband best

when she cherishes God most.

Different person

 ALICE IN WONDERLAND

Lewis Carroll

"It's no use going back to yesterday,

because I was a different person then."

Lighthouses

Lighthouses aren't loud.

They don't argue with the sailors.

They don't ban the ships with

stains from coming through.

They don't grab them by their

masts and turn them around.

They don't claim to own the waters.

They simply shine

in the right direction.

Be a lighthouse.

~ullie kaye

Can love

You can love God and still suffer.

You can love God and still question

where He's been lately.

You can love God and still be

a long griever.

A deep feeler.

A slow healer.

You can love God and still be

disappointed at the chapter

you are walking through.

You can love God and still

struggle to find gratitude

on the day where everybody

else makes it look so easy.

~ullie-kaye

Come back

 Posted recently, but worth repeating...

"I think that maybe I would always let

you come back," she said, softly. "Not

that I'd stay here waiting, exactly. But, if

you came, told me you loved me, and

asked me to be yours...I'm not sure if

there's anything in the world I wouldn't 

drop for you."

-Or anyone

Tired

 When a woman starts getting quiet, unbothered,

and letting you do whatever you want, that's the

moment she's tired.

Not tired of loving you, but tired of hurting over

the same actions.

She's drained from repeating herself, exhausted

from giving chances, and done begging for the

bare minimum.

Her silence isn't peace, it's her heart protecting

what's left of it.

And once a woman reaches that point, she's not

sulling away to punish you, she's pulling away to

save herself.

Knocks harder

When God comes knocking

on your door and you choose

not to listen - 

don't be surprised if He knocks

a little harder.

Sometimes He runs after our

hearts through illness, loss or

anything else that brings us down

to rock bottom and forces us to

rely on Him.

Because when God knocks on

your door once, twice, or even

three times and you still do not

answer, He will find another way.

If a soft wind isn't enough,

you may get a storm.

This is a measure of His love

that we do not always understand.

~ullie-kaye

Wait

 From J.I. Packer, Knowing God

"Wait on the Lord" -- is a constant refrain

in the Psalms, and it is a necessary word,

for God often keeps us waiting.

He is not in such a hurry as we are, and it is

not his way to give more light on the future

than we need for action in the present -- or to

guide us more than one step at a time.

When in doubt -- do nothing -- but continue

to wait on God. When action is needed,

light will come.

Second chance

 From Ancestral healing

A second chance isn't a free pass.

It's someone looking at the mess you made, the

tears they cried, the trust you smashed, and still

deciding you're worth one more try. That's not

normal. That's sacred. That's the kind of

forgiveness most people never get in a lifetime.

If somebody hands you that, you don't just say

"thank you" and go back to your old ways.

You get on your knees (not literally, but close) and

you do the hardest thing you'll ever do: you look at 

exactly how you broke them and you swear, on 

everything you have, never to do it again.

This time you don't talk about change.

You become it.

You show up early, you answer the text, you keep

the promise even when it's not convenient, you sit

with the discomfort instead of running from it.

Every single day you prove, with actions, not

words, that their crazy faith in you wasn't wasted.

Because second chances are made of glass.

One lazy lie, one old habit, one "I'll fix it later," and

it shatters for good. And when it does, it's not

because they stopped loving you. It's because 

they finally ran out of hope to give.

So if you're lucky enough to be standing in the

ruins and they still reach out for your hand, grab it like

it's the last lifeboat on earth.

Then spend the rest of your life making sure they

never regret it.

A mess

We're a mess

you and I

but the truth is,

you captivate me in ways

no soul ever will.

~perry poetry

The enemy

The enemy wants you

quiet, insecure, and

second-guessing

because he knows what

happens when a woman

fully believes who

she is in Christ.

The enemy isn't fighting you because you're weak,

he's fighting you because of the woman you

become when you stand in your true identity.

He wants you quiet.

He wants you insecure.

He wants you second-guessing every God-given

thing about you.

Why?

Because a woman who knows who she is in Christ

becomes a threat to darkness.

A woman who believes Heaven's truth about her

becomes unstoppable.

A woman who refuses to shrink becomes a 

weapon in the hand of God.

So straighten your crown.

Silence the lies.

And step into the confidence that was already paid

for by Jesus.

Space

 From Blake Goldsmith

I know you need space.

Time to be in your own energy.

And I respect that.

Your solitude is sacred to you.

the same way connection is sacred to me.

I'm not here to take that from you.

But when I don't hear from you...

when I feel you drifting

something inside me panics.

My nervous system thinks love is leaving again.

Not because of you

but because my body was wired to expect

absence.

I never had consistent love.

It was always hot & cold.

My father wasn't really there.

And my mother taught me to be a "good girl:

who never needed too much.

I learned to smile when I was hurting,

chase love that felt just out of reach.

Now I attach quickly & try harder,

I lose myself trying to keep love from leaving.

I question myself.

I mistake distance for rejection.

So now I struggle to trust the warmth will stay.

When I met you

there was something familiar about the way you

didn't chase me.

A part of me was drawn to it

to the strength, to your fire,

but also to the feeling that I had to earn your

attention.

It felt like maybe this time

I could finally be enough to be chosen.

I didn't see it at first,

but I was replaying the same story

hoping I could rewrite the ending.

I know you've got 1000 things going on.

I just need  feel you sometimes.

And I know you're trying.

You're working, providing, holding a lot.

I'm not here to make that harder.

I just want to feel that I still matter.

When I criticize or complain,

it's not because you're not enough.

It's because I don't feel safe.

It's my wound speaking

the part of me that's terrified

you'll disappear like everyone else did.

I know it's not your job to fix that.

It's my work. And I'm doing it.

But please know:

when I feel you're really present with me,

even just for a moment,

my whole body exhales.

I don't need you to save me.

Just don't disappear when I'm scared.

Let me know we're okay.

Let me know I still matter.

Let me know I'm not too much.

Because I'm still learning

that love can be safe

and that I don't have to earn it.

And that's all I ever wanted

to be seen, held, and chosen

even when I'm messy.

Your job

It's your job to 

love people.

It's God's job

to change 

their hearts.

Look for

Until you have given up yourself to Him you will not have a real self.

Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead.

Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ, and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.

~C.S. Lewis

As worship

 From Marriage Revolution

When you see loving

your spouse as

worship to God,

everything changes.

When the way you speak, serve, forgive, pursue, and show patience becomes an offering to God, not a reaction to your spouse's behavior, your marriage takes on a different posture.

Worship shifts the motivation.

Not "Do they deserve this?" but "God, you deserve my obedience."

This is where consistency grows...

where resentment gives way to grace...

where ordinary moments become holy opportunities.

Loving your spouse well isn't about marriage skills, it's about seeing Christ in every choice you make.

Act heartless

 Every time I tried to act heartless,

a small voice inside me whispered...

"This isn't who you are."

Silent treatment

The silent treatment is a form of abuse that says:

I'll ignore your existence as punishment,

and I'll decide when you're spoken to again.

Waiting on nothing

 Once you realize that

you're waiting on nothing.

It's easier to let go.

Disorienting

Healing is disorienting.

One day you're laughing and

glowing...the next you're triggered

and in a spiral. And somehow,

that's still progress.

~Truly Healed Women

Bare bones

Bare Bones.

Hope is not always soft and lovely.

She is not always cascading rivers

and sunlit skies, dancing.

Hope knows there is work to be done.

There are roads to be traveled and 

turns to be made.

She is bare bones and deep waters.

She is weary and weak.

She is barely a glimmer.

She shakes when she speaks.

This is where hope lives.

Smothered in sweat, full of war and

on the verge of crumbling into the sea.

Yet there she is - 

quietly breathing.

~ullie-kaye

If you wish

If you wish to be a warrior,

prepare to get broken,

if you wish to be an explorer,

prepare to get lost,

and if you wish to be a lover,

prepare to be both.

~Daniel Saint

All of you

"Give me all of you! I don't want so much

of your time, so much of your talents and

money, and so much of your work.

I want you. All of you.

I have not come to torment or frustrate the

natural man or woman, but to KILL IT!

No half measures will do.

Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your

desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams.

Turn them all over to me, give yourself to me

and I will make of you a new self - in My image.

Give me yourself and in exchange I will give

you Myself. My will, shall become your will.

My heart, shall become your heart."

~C.S. Lewis

Changing you

If God does not work

the miracle to change your

circumstances, trust that

He is performing a

greater miracle in 

changing you.

~Sarah Walton

Unequally yoked

By Tam Watts

There's a Cost of Unequally Yoked Connections...

See...Being unequally yoked doesn't always mean sinner vs. saint.

Sometimes it's disciplined vs. distracted.

Faithful vs. flaky.

Focused vs. comfortable...

Purposeful vs. emotional.

And if you don't learn to discern the difference, you'll be connected in relationships calling them loyal when they're really delay.

Unequally yoked called chemistry confirmation.

Calling trauma bonds a soul mate.

And you'll convince yourself it's love when really, it's warfare.

Choosing to be unequally yoked will cost you more than you can ever imagine.

It will cost you time...years you can't get back.

It will cost you money...funding what God never approved.

It will cost you peace...because confusion becomes the new normal.

Wholeness because you'll keep breaking yourself to fix someone else.

Discernment because you can miss God's voice while trying to hear theirs.

See...the enemy doesn't just send attacks, he sends attachments that are on assignment.

He'll make you think you're rescuing someone when really, you're the one being hunted.

He'll make you think you're planting seeds of faith when really, they are growing weeds in your garden.

And here's what I learned the hard way...

Your light doesn't always transfer.

Sometimes it just gets dimmer without you even knowing it.

Because while you're trying to save them, they're draining your oil.

And by the time you realize it you're too tired, too confused, and too spiritually exhausted to think clearly...because the enemy doesn't mind if you go to church to find peace, as long as you're comfortable keep war at home.

Look at the Bible..

Samson was anointed but when he connected with Delilah he lost strength and was distracted from his mission.

Solomon had wisdom...but foreign wives turned his heart away from God and messed up his bloodline.

Every story proves the same truth...every wrong connection leads to destruction.

You can be powerful, prayerful, and still pick the wrong person if you're not careful...

You can speak in tongues and still sleep next to someone sent to test you...

You can quote Scripture and still ignore who was sent to hurt you.

So be careful who you align with.

The enemy knows your type.

He knows what looks safe to you but is poison to you.

So before you connect...pray

Before you commit...discern.

Before you call it connection...make sure it's God approved.

Because the price of peace

is too high to waste on people who were never assigned to your purpose.

Let that sink in.

My girl

and one day...

you'll wake up & realize

God never took anything from you.

He just saw things and said,

"NOT with my girl"

Venom

 From She's of Love

When people are rude/offend/attack/hurt you, they have unhealed trauma, they are full of venom and that venom is pouring out. The important thing is that you don't allow them to poison you too. Answer evil with good, don't answer evil with evil. If you get caught up in a conflict, if you offend/attack/hurt the other person, then you can know that you have already allowed another person to contaminate you.

Don't let a man behaving in a toxic way ruin your day. Do not allow a man full of venom to fill you with venom. It can't stop a man from spreading his venom, but you can keep that venom from getting inside you. Guard your heart!

No matter how good/generous/polite you are, in life you will have to deal with people who will treat you in a disrespectful/kindless way, who will hurt you. And each time you will have a choice between filling yourself with venom, acting unbalanced, making a scandal, offending yourself or responding in a balanced way. You have a choice between taking the bait or not. Every time someone offends you, trips you up, attacks you, be aware: "Now I'm being baited. And it's my choice if I bite or not." Most people take the bait. And most of the time it's the same bait day after day, year after year, but they keep biting.

Choose your battles wisely. If you get caught up in any conflict, if you let yourself be challenged by anyone, consuming your energy with things and people that don't matter, you won't have energy for the battles that really matter.

~Joel Osteen

That energy

 Hate on her all you want, animals run

to her, kids smile at her, strangers tell 

her their stories, people feel safe around

her, and if I've learned anything it's

that energy doesn't lie.

~Positive Vibes

That place

 From J.M Barrie

Peter Pan

You know that place between

sleep and awake, that place where you

still remember dreaming? That's where

I'll always love you. That's where I'll

be waiting.

One drop

 Not one drop of my self-worth

depends on your acceptance of me.

Second chances

 If you're dating a woman that's divorced after a 

long marriage.

Don't expect second chances. She won't ever

need you.

She stopped needing people a long time ago.

But she sure as hell wants you. She just doesn't

have time to teach a man how to treat her.

Remember she walked away from a lifetime and 

the father of her children.

Makes her

 Her home doesn't make her.

Her career doesn't make her.

Her look doesn't make her.

Her beauty doesn't make her.

Her Heavenly Father makes her.

Reappraised

I sold my love to you so cheaply because

you convinced me that was the most

I would ever get for it.

I got it reappraised.

Turns out

you can't

afford it.

~Kristina Mahr

First

 Wait until you realize the

Red Sea didn't part until

Moses stepped forward.

God didn't move the obstacle

until the obedience came first.

Disappearing

 She covered for his bad 

choices.

She swallowed what should've

ended it.

He thought her silence meant

safety.

It was actually the sound of 

her disappearing.

Just redeems

 Job didn't get his old life

back; he got a new one.

God didn't restore what

he lost; He rewrote the

ending and gave him

more than he had before.

God doesn't always explain

our pain; sometimes,

He just redeems it.

Your EI

People will admire your emotional intelligence until

it's time for them to swim in it. They will appreciate

your empathy, understanding, or validation until

your emotional intelligence demands accountability,

difficult conversations, or sitting with emotions they

want to suppress.

The moment your emotional intelligence disrupts

someone's avoidance, denial, or self-centeredness,

they may push back. Not everyone is ready to foster

honesty, accountability, and depth in relationships.

Fiercely

 Love fiercely. Because this all ends.

Don't confuse

"Love didn't hurt you. Someone 

who doesn't know how to love

hurt you. Don't confuse the two."

Discards

 When somebody discards you, it

can feel like you were thrown in the 

garbage, like you have no value, like

you were never special in any way.

But be grateful that it doesn't make

sense to you. Because it shouldn't.

Someone going from loving you to 

treating you like you're worthless

will never make sense...and the fact

that your heart can't understand it

means it's still good.

Isn't being difficult

 Sometimes your partner isn't

being difficult. They're being ten

years old and terrified they're

about to lose love again.

Choose you

I know it's a hard lesson

to learn, but the truth is 

you cannot love yourself

and love someone who hurts

you at the same time.

Please choose you.

~Stephanie Bennett-Henry 

Last message

 From The Last Page

(But Not the Last Meeting)

And after that last message, I told myself wouldn't

reach out to you again. Not because I stopped caring.

Not because I didn't miss you. But because deep down,

I realized - you didn't want me to. I had already said

everything I needed to say. I had already cried. I sent

words that came from the deepest parts of me, hoping

they'd mean something to you, hoping they'd be enough.

But silence became your answer, and I knew then - I

couldn't keep chasing someone who wouldn't even turn

around. I couldn't keep offering my heart to someone

who had already walked away.

I wanted to fight. God knows, I did. But how do you

fight for something that doesn't want to be saved? So

I stayed quiet. I let the silence do what my words no

longer could. And even though it hurt, even though

everything in me still aches for what we had, I forced

myself to stop. But please don't mistake that silence for

not caring - because it's the hardest thing I've ever

had to do.

Show up

 You cannot 

have a healthy

relationship if

you refuse to

let them show

up for you.

~@jason.vanruler

Attachment

 "Trauma bonding" is the

confusing attachment we

feel toward people who

hurt us -- but we need to

remember that it's not 

"love" or a "choice."

It's the kind of instinctive

bond that a kid -- or a 

person of any age -- who

has been starved of 

connection and forced to be

dependent forms.

~Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle

Without permission

 From TobyMac

God heard the 

conversations 

behind your

back, that's why

He changed

your circle without

your permission.

Something better

 Sometimes two 

people need to fall apart to realize

how bad they need to fall back together...

It's not always about

fixing what's broken, but instead

starting over and creating 

something better.

Coming back stronger.

Unbreakable

Sometimes the two people who are

truly meant for each other will face

the hardest battles. Not because they

are wrong for each other, but because

the world will test everything real. 

Love like that doesn't come easy; it's

built through pain, distance, 

misunderstandings, growth. But if

they can hold on through the chaos, if

they choose each other over and over

again, they'll find something most

people only dream of - a love that

didn't just survive the storm, but 

became unbreakable because of it.

She used to be mine

My "anthem" as of late...

"She Used To Be Mine" 

It's not simple to say

Most days I don't recognize me

That these shoes and this apron

That place and its patrons

Have taken more than I gave them

It's not easy to know

I'm not anything like I used to be

Although it's true

I was never attention's sweet center

I still remember that girl

She's imperfect but she tries

She is good but she lies

She is hard on herself

She is broken and won't ask for help

She is messy but she's kind

She is lonely most of the time

She is all of this mixed up

And baked in a beautiful pie

She is gone but she used to be mine

It's not what I asked for

Sometimes life just slips in through a back door

And carves out a person

And makes you believe it's all true

And now I've got you

And you're not what I asked for

If I'm honest I know I would give it all back

For a chance to start over

And rewrite an ending or two

For the girl that I knew

Who'll be reckless just enough

Who'll get hurt

But who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised

And gets used by a man who can't love

And then she'll get stuck

And be scared of the life that's inside her

Growing stronger each day

'Til it finally reminds her

To fight just a little

To bring back the fire in her eyes

That's been gone

But used to be mine

Used to be mine

She is messy but she's kind

She is lonely most of the time

She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie

She is gone but she used to be mine

~Sara Bareilles

Meant for you

You asked for a sign from God and here it is --

Nothing meant for you will ever pass you by. Not the

opportunity, not the moment, not the person. What's

written for you doesn't need chasing -- it will find you

when you're ready. You haven't missed your chance;

you're being prepared for it. God's timing isn't late, it's

intentional. He's aligning you what you've prayed for with

the person you're becoming, ensuring that when it 

arrives, it can stay.

Every delay carries purpose. Every detour is protection.

Even the seasons that feel quiet are filled with blessings

you can't yet see. You don't need to force what's divine.

It will meet you in clarity, not confusion; in peace, not

pressure. So take a breath, stay faithful, and keep 

becoming. What's meant for you will always recognize

you, and when it does, you'll understand why it had to

take its time.

~Rebecca Simon

Power

 From Georgios Charpantidis

Avoidant attachment is about power.

Every time an avoidant pretends they don't like you - they get the power of being desired

without desiring (being chased without chasing).

Every time an avoidant withdraws, asks for "space" or stone-walls you -- the avoidant gets the

power to control the relationship through distance. The avoidant decides when to communicate and 

when to withdraw.

Every time an avoidant complains that you are being too needy or clingy, the avoidant conditions

you to expect less and ask for nothing in the relationship.

What each of these behaviors tell you:

The avoidant needs to be in control - making all the decisions while indirectly and quietly conditioning you to feel ashamed about your needs, boundaries, and expectations

The result?

Erasure and submission. Through manipulation and control-tactics -- you become a tool without a voice. A slave without needs -- and a victim that's waiting to be saved.

To enforce this dynamic and make sure that you never leave -- the avoidant uses intermittent reinforcement and breadcrumbing to keep you like a dog on a leash. 

Like an animal/dog experiment -- the avoidant throws you a bone every time that you're starving/just to keep you around.

Like a vampire that feeds his vassal with his own blood -- the avoidant controls you in a trauma bond or parasitic enmeshment that weaponizes your natural biological need for intimacy and turns it into a tool to control you.

Like a narcissist -- you are turned into supply.

The avoidant gets validation, time, energy and money because he knows how to take advantage of the

very same "neediness" that he loves to complain about.

The end-game? To condition you to self-abandon and become addicted like a pigeon to their breadcrumbs.

Which is why an avoidant is not much different in behavior and relating from a leech that needs a host to feed on.

But "tell me again" how different that is from narcissism.