Monday, December 30, 2024

Don't leave me

 I have an angel holding my hand

Don't really leave me,
don't ever fully go.
Be the rain,
be the sky I look up to,
be the stars,
or a rainbow.
Give me a sign,
any sign,
and I'll know you're still walking beside me.
Be a butterfly
or a rose petal,
or the scent of snowy mornings.
Come visit me often.
Speak to me in all the ways you know.
And in any way, I'll listen.
But don't truly leave me.
Call me, talk to me, whisper to me.
Drop a feather
at the foot of my bed
on a weary morning,
my angel,
and I'll know you're still here.

Everything is returned

You reap what you sow,
No matter how long it takes.
Everything you do gets 
returned to you.

Big beautiful ways

sometimes
we honor them
in big beautiful ways.
we write. we paint. we sing.
we share their story. their picture.
we do good things in their name.
and sometimes we honor quietly.
we cry. we break. we get out of bed.
we try to stay alive and love them.
we can honor a person's life by
sharing things. creating things.
and we can also honor a life by
surviving in a world without it.


There

find me there

by sara rian

please don't be afraid
to sit with someone's grief.
it is just love learning to cry
and memories turning to gold.

Ruining

 He is ruining someone else's life now.
You are safe.

A year later

 And a year later ~

she looked back with so much
peace in her heart.

Her heart, once weighed down by
the past, now danced with
gratitude, for the present, a 
melody of joy echoing through
her every step.

~annawin


For itself

 Worth reposting...


Nothing in nature lives for itself.

Rivers don't drink their own water.
Trees don't eat their own fruit.
The Sun doesn't shine for itself.
A flower's fragrance is not for itself.

Living for each other is the rule of nature.


Big heart

You have a big heart for a reason, my darling. You stand out from the rest of them because you can endure far more than what you think you can. You are so strong and so brave, even when your heart has been ripped apart and is beyond recognition. Even when you have been left alone by the ones you needed most, you still got up to face another day. You are the bravest of them all. A survivor who makes sure she's a thriver.

~Kayil York

Friday, December 20, 2024

Not a pushover

 This is from The Sun Times News. Article by Steve Gwisdalla

(Favorite part is about giving)

Be Kind, But Not a Pushover

Hello, my friends. It is the time of year we look back and reflect on a year nearly complete. For most of us, it is also the time of year we offer to help the less fortunate. Perhaps it is a food donation to a local pantry. Perhaps a little something in a red kettle next to someone ringing a bell. Whatever it may be, acts of kindness are worthy, noble, and ever-more necessary to our society.

With all that being said, it is easy to become a target for those looking for easy marks to take advantage of. The old adage of  'nice guys finish last' comes to mind, but it is more than that. Nice can be faked. Nice can be temporary. Anyone can be nice when they want something. Being nice isn't what the Tribe of Up is about, my friends. Nice lasts only as long as necessary to achieve a desired outcome. Let me challenge all of you with something a little more...robust than simply being nice.

Be a good person.

You can be a good person and not be nice all of the time. A good person knows boundaries, practices empathy, is honest, and takes care of themselves before taking care of others. Why you may ask? If you do not take care of yourself first, or as the late Dr. Stephen Covey called, sharpening the saw, simply being nice will fade and burn out can happen. Find inner peace. Seek to understand before being understood. Good people know that they cannot truly help others build themselves up if their own foundation is faulty. In a previous article, I spoke of deposits and withdrawals. Giving to those in need is certainly from you, but at the end of the day and at the same time, it is also for you. Let me say that again. Acts of kindness are for you first. Otherwise, there is reliance on the feedback we receive to help to determine the value of the act. If the feedback isn't what we think it should be, the act feels lessoned and the aforementioned kindness burnout becomes a realistic possibility. If we are truly good people, we do good simply because the opportunity is there. While we certainly hope the act yields a deposit in other people's emotional bank accounts, it absolutely will add a deposit in ours. Once our account reaches a high enough level, we can give from the interest earned in our accounts, not the principal. Being nice is one thing. Making sure our emotional finances are in good order makes us good people. Advocating for more joy makes us kind people. 

On the contrary, saying yes to every request and burning your emotional candle at both ends just to please everyone is not the way a truly good person lives. Sometimes, we must say no. Sometimes, we need time to recharge, to rebuild our emotional finances a bit. Don't be a pushover. Be true to your values while helping those you choose to help for the reasons that matter to you. It has been my experience that I have never found happiness in the reactions or feedback I have received. Positive feedback is nice. It surely is better than the alternative. But when I do, or give, or act, it is for me. It is for the example I am trying to be for myself first. Only I know the bar I am trying to clear. Only I know how close I am to the person I want to be all the time. Admitting imperfection and admitting limits are a very real thing are tremendously important to avoid emotional burnout. Help where you can. Give what you can. Don't worry if statues aren't built in your honor as a result. By having a rock solid foundation, you will be well armored to go out into the world and be a great person, not a pushover.


Wednesday, December 18, 2024

Introvert

You think you're an introvert
because you like being alone.
But in reality, you just love being at peace.
And you're actually extroverted
around people who bring you peace.

Now

 By Toby Mac

One of the 
biggest 
mistakes we 
make in life
is thinking
we have time.
Be present.
Be kind.
Love more.
Love now.

Beautifully fragile

 Another repost...


We are all just a car crash, a diagnosis,
an unexpected phone call, a newfound love,
or a broken heart away from becoming
a completely different person.

How beautifully fragile are we
that so many things can take but a
moment to alter who we are
for forever?

~Samuel Decker Thompson

Love yourself

 Have posted this before, but always a good reminder.

"Do you love me?" Alice asked.
"No, I don't love you!" replied the White Rabbit.
Alice frowned and clasped her hands together as she did whenever she felt hurt.
"See?" replied the White Rabbit.
"Now you're going to start asking yourself what makes you so imperfect and what did you do wrong so that I can't love you at least a little.
You know, that's why I can't love you.
You will not always be loved, Alice, there will be days when others will be tired and bored with life, will have their heads in the clouds, and will hurt you.
Because people are like that, they somehow always end up hurting each other's feelings, whether through carelessness, misunderstanding, or conflicts with themselves.
If you don't love yourself, at least a little, if you don't create an armor of self-love and happiness around your heart, the feeble annoyances caused by others will become lethal and will destroy you.
The first time I saw you I made a pact with myself: "I will avoid loving you until you learn to love yourself."

From Alice in Wonderland

Later

Don't leave anything for later.
Later, the coffee gets cold.

Later, you lose interest.
Later, the day turns into night.

Later, people grow up.
Later, people grow old.
Later, life goes by.

Later, you regret not doing
something...when you had
the chance. 

Intelligent people

 I'm not saying I am one, but interesting...


Happiness in intelligent people
is the rarest thing I know.

~Ernst Hemingway

Valid

 Your feelings are
valid, even if no one
understands them


Thursday, December 12, 2024

Making others happy

10 Lessons from When Making Others Happy is Making You Miserable

1. People-Pleasing is a Form of Self-Sacrifice
Constantly trying to please others comes at a cost to your own mental and emotional health. People-pleasers often neglect their own needs, leading to burnout and resentment.

2. Saying "No" is a Healthy Boundaries Practice
Learning to say "no" is essential for preserving your energy and maintaining healthy relationships. It allows you to focus on what truly matters without feeling guilty.

3. The Root of People-Pleasing is Often Fear
Fear of rejection, conflict, or not being loved is a driving force behind people-pleasing behavior. Understanding this can help you address the underlying issues and work through them.

4. You Can't Control Others' Reactions
No matter how hard you try, you can't control how others perceive you. Letting go of this need for control frees you from the stress of constantly seeking approval.

5. Self-Worth Shouldn't Be Tied to External Validation
Your value isn't determined by others' opinions or expectations. True self-worth comes from within, and aligning your actions with your values leads to greater fulfillment.

6. It's Okay to Disappoint Others Sometimes
It's impossible to please everyone all the time. Disappointing others can be uncomfortable, but it's necessary to your own well-being and authenticity.

7. Recognize the Dangers of Enabling
People-pleasing can sometimes lead to enabling others' poor behavior. It's important to recognize when you are overextending yourself and enabling unhealthy dynamics.

8. Practice Self-Care Without Guilt
Taking time for yourself isn't selfish. It's essential for maintaining emotional health and having the energy to care for others when needed.

9. Reframe Your Perspective on Conflict
Conflict isn't necessarily a bad thing. Healthy disagreements and differing opinions are a part of life, and they can lead to stronger, more honest relationships.

10. Seek Support and Accountability
Breaking the cycle of people-pleasing can be challenging, but seeking support from trusted friends, a counselor, or a mentor can help you stay accountable and reinforce your new mindset.

(Book is by Karen Ehman)


Wednesday, December 11, 2024

Hesitate

 Don't Hesitate
by Mary Oliver

If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy,
don't hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty
of lives and whole towns destroyed or about
to be. We are not wise, and not very often
kind. And much can never be redeemed.
Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this
is its way of fighting back, that sometimes
something happens better than all the riches
or power in the world. It could be anything,
but very likely you notice it in the instant
when love begins. Anyway, that's often the
case. Anyway, whatever it is, don't be afraid
of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.

(Posted by Nona)

Imitation

 Rudeness is the
weak man's imitation
of strength.

~Eric Hoffer

Shaped you

 In order to love who you are,
you cannot hate the experiences
that shaped you.

~Andrea Dykstra

Boats and storms

 We are not all in the same boat.
We are in the same storm.

Some have yachts, some canoes,
and some are drowning.

Just be kind
and help whoever you can.

Resolution

This feels impossible to me, but...


My 2025 resolution is to stop
wondering if I'm good enough for
other people and start wondering
if they're good enough for me.