Deserve more

Sometimes God doesn't give you what you want.
Not because you don't deserve it, but because you deserve more.

Listen to your emotions

from Flying Free

Bitterness shows you where you need to heal, where you're still holding judgments on others and yourself.

Resentment shows you where you're living in the past and not allowing the present to be as it is.

Discomfort shows you that you need to pay attention right now to what is happening, because you've been given the opportunity to change, to do something different that you typically do it.

Anger shows you what you're passionate about, where your boundaries are, and what you believe needs to change about the world.

Disappointment shows you that you tried for something, that you did not give in to apathy, and that you still care.

Guilt shows that you're still living life in other people's expectations of what you should do.

Shame shows that you're internalizing other people's beliefs about who you should be (or who you are) and that you need to reconnect with yourself.

Anxiety shows you that you need to wake up, right now, and that you need to be present, that you're stuck in the past and living in fear of the future.

Sadness shows you the depth of your feeling, the depth of your care for others and this world.

Colder

There are very few things colder than a woman who has lost interest.

In the midst

from Toby Mac

Giving thanks isn't living in denial of difficult circumstances. It's choosing to turn to God in the midst of them.   -Lysa Terkheurst

What he wants

Men go hard for what

 they truly want, so ladies, 

if he is not going hard for

 you, then you're not what

 he truly wants.

Hold on to you forever

by Lysa Terkeurst

God takes us by the hand and whispers,
"No matter what, I've got this. I've got you.
And I'll hold on to you forever."

In the clouds

by Anna W.

I think it's good for me to be in the clouds from time to time. To remember the fact that I can't see anything doesn't mean there isn't anything there. And that the fact that I might be struggling to get my bearings doesn't mean that I'm not exactly where I'm supposed to be.

That you love

by John Lennon

It matters not who you love,
where you love, why you love,
when you love or how you love.
It matters only that you love.

Face of evil

from Flying Free

by Ari Renae

"Silence in the face of evil is itself evil:
God will not hold us guiltless.
Not to speak is to speak.
Not to act is to act."
(Dietrich Bonhoeffer)

It brings my heart deep comfort to know that my Abba is on the side, always, of the oppressed. He stands, always, against the wicked, and He strengthens us to stand when our own strength gives out. May we have the courage to speak out, and speak out again, and again, regardless of the personal cost.

He who justifies the wicked, and he who condemns the righteous
Are both repulsive to the Lord.
(Exodus 23:7; Proverbs 24:24; Isaiah 5:23)

Exodus 23:7
Keep yourself from a false matter; do not kill the innocent and righteous. For I will not justify the wicked.

Proverbs 24:24
He who says to the wicked, "You are righteous,"
Him the people will curse,
Nations will abhor him.

Isaiah 5:23
Who justify the wicked for a bribe,
And take away justice from the righteous man!

Bob Marley

Bob Marley said,

The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman's love with no intention of loving her.

Understand that

A woman could love you to death and never talk to you ever again.

Understand that.

40 (48) years of torture

This was on FaithIt

by Brie Gowen

(My own note: This just happened to me like two weeks ago)

How I Got Rid of My Anxiety After 40 Years of Torture

This post comes from a person who has dealt with anxiety for as long as she can remember. It's not from someone who hasn't been in the trenches of panic and all the side effects it induces, yet want to tell everyone else how to live a stress-free life. Nope. This post is from someone who dealt with fear, anxiety, worry and depression for 40 years, the last 10 of those being the worst. This individual got so used to the way she felt that she considered it to just be the way it was going to be, and accepted that those feelings were her lot in life. She called herself an over-thinker, a worry wart, and other pet names to poke fun at what was, in fact, an irrational thought life, one which controlled her, made her dislike social situations or hanging out with groups of people, and kept her from being the kind of person deep down she knew she could be. Her anxiety controlled her. Until one day it didn't.

This person is me.

I assumed I would always deal with anxiety. I would feel myself anxious over absolutely nothing. It's sometimes kinda like the feeling that you forgot something.

Did I remember my keys?!

Did I turn the stove off?!

I would eventually realize I had not forgotten anything.

At least, I don't think I did. (Cue increased heart rate).

The way my brain worked said that I had done something wrong, people were upset with me, didn't like me. If people were whispering I would wonder if it was about me. My logical brain knew it wasn't. My anxious mind told a different story.

It's like a dream where you're naked on stage in front of your peers. But, it's not a dream. And it's every day.

I got anxious about problems that didn't exist. Problems that weren't even problems. Problems that I created. I worried a lot about finances.

What if I lose my job?

What if I bounce a check?

Pay a bill late?

Go into more debt?

Lower my credit score?!

Gasp.

And on, and on.

I can remember driving to Florida when I first decided to become a travel nurse. As we drove through Birmingham I found myself anxious. I was in a panic as we drove through the city.

What is that smell?!

Oh, gosh, our new truck is going to break down! Then what will we do?!

It's so bumpy! We've sold all our possessions; what if the meager collection of our stuff that's packed in the back of the truck blows out?!

Y'all, I can't even. It was exhausting. Anxiety is exhausting. And I got tired of being tired.

You'll hear all kinds of ways to beat anxiety. I had heard exercise is a good one. Well, that wasn't happening. So, I moved on to other practices I had heard, but even the power of the ultimate, positive thinking couldn't squash my anxiety. I mean, it was illogical, so no logical thinking could reverse or prevent it.

You always hear that you "need to give it to God," but what does that even mean?! There's not an app for surrender, know what I'm saying? And I guess that was my problem. I was trying to do whatever I could to not be anxious. I mean, nobody wants anxiety. I wanted to get rid of it, but I wasn't sure what I needed to do.

I prayed. Oh, Lord, did I pray. But I still had problems with anxiety. Was I not praying hard enough?!(Side note: these "?!" remind me of Dad's angry texts because he used those all the time. Bleh.)

I read a verse this morning that summed it up pretty nicely, how I dealt with my anxiety once and for all, about a year ago.

John 8:31-32: So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, "If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Funny thing about the word abide. It's not so much something you do, as something you are. I came to a place, through reading God's Word, meditating on Scripture, and reading fantastic Christian books and studies, where I truly, and I repeat truly believed where the Bible states I am in Him, and He is in me.

See, the thing about anxiety is that you can't control it! How can you fix something you can't control? You can't! But Jesus could. I could do all things through Him. He was in me, and I was in Him. Therefore, if Jesus could see anxiety for the lie it was, and if He could make it go away completely, then doesn't it just stand to reason that I could too? Because it wasn't just me; it was Him.

I began to see myself as seated with Christ in Heavenly places. I fixed my eyes on things above, not things below. You don't worry about your bank balance when you realize that money isn't everything. You can stop fretting about finances when you really believe Jesus will provide for you. I had never faithfully and consistently tithed because I didn't think I could afford to do so, but I was proclaiming God couldn't provide for my needs when I didn't. So, I followed through my faith by tithing every week. I watched more money that I had ever given in offering before leaving my bank account, and it gave me zero anxiety. I considered it an investment.

I stopped worrying about health concerns that might come my way or to my children and instead focused my attention on God as my healer and sustainer. I'm not saying I stopped taking care of my temple, but I stopped fearing illness. The flowers of the field didn't fret. Why should I?

What is the worst that could happen to me? Would it affect me for all eternity? If the answer was "no" then it wasn't worth concerning myself about.

But what about the uncontrollable, irrational anxiety? Well, I got rid of it too. When I remained in Christ, through frequent reading of my Bible, consistent prayer time (I talk to God all day, my eyes pop open and I'm immediately thanking Him for the good sleep I got), and surrounding myself with things pleasing to Him, I became saturated with truth. Y'all, where truth resides, anxiety cannot be. Anxiety isn't from God, and if you can fill yourself so completely with the truth of who Jesus is personally to you and in your life, anxiety just slips away.

I can't pinpoint when I precisely realized I didn't suffer from anxiety anymore. It didn't disappear all at once. It wasn't a magic spell. I simply, consistently absorbed more of Jesus. I abided in His truth. I rested in it. I took it in so frequently that it became reality to me. You can read the Bible and know in your heart that a verse is true, but you almost have to pound it into yourself for it to click. You can't read the truth once. I know atheists who have read the Bible. You have to read it again and again, ruminate on it, get guidance from other believers on it, pray on it, listen to God impress to your heart what He's trying to tell you through it. I did this over and over, and one day I realized that I believed so deeply in my spirit every word of Scripture to be true, and true for me (that's the kicker), that I couldn't let lies stay for very long.

Do anxious thoughts try to come my way? Not as much as they once did, but they still try to sneak in. The cool part is that God's truth shines a light on my anxious thoughts, and it exposes them as the lie they are. I speak Scripture to my anxiety, and if it tries to come on me, I fight it off with God's Word. This may sound like it couldn't possibly work. I may sound like mumbo-jumbo. Maybe you're saying, "You haven't dealt with real anxiety, not anxiety like mine."

Well, I don't know what your anxiety is like, but I know that I have experienced suicidal ideation in the past and a failed suicide attempt due to mine. I wanted to be asleep forever rather than deal with the anxiousness I felt. Sound familiar? I remember even having a psychiatrist diagnose me as bipolar when I was a teenager.

All I know, now, is that it feels good to be free. It's not anything I did, per se, but what Jesus did in me. When I realized and truly believed, rested on, and drew strength from the fact that through the Holy Spirit, Jesus lived in me, I was able to abide. I was able to continue in truth. The truth set me free. I was able to move forward by being still. I was able to get rid of my anxiety by letting go of my ability to fix it. I was able to get rid of my anxiety by allowing Christ to. You see, He never had anxiety (sin) for me. He took it on Himself on the cross. He already died and was resurrected so I could be anxiety-free. I just couldn't see that. I was blind to that fact.

When I opened my eyes to the truth that Jesus had already made the way to trash my anxiety for good, it simply stopped being a thing. Heck, I didn't even have to get rid of it; it was just gone.

Peacemaking

from Flying Free

Peacemaking doesn't mean passivity. It is the act of interrupting injustice without mirroring injustice,
the act of disarming evil without destroying the evildoer, the act of finding a third way that is neither fight nor flight but the careful, arduous pursuit of reconciliation and justice.

Wherever

from Toby Mac

Quote from Charles Spurgeon

Wherever Jesus may lead us,
He goes before us.
If we don't know where we're going,
we know with Whom we go.

Even after

Pray to God

even after he

gives you what you

were praying for

The woman

Have seen something similar to this, but appreciate the "God" twist:

Becoming the woman God

designed you to be

Will cost you friends,

relationships, plans, and

material things.

Become her anyway.

Refuse

Refuse to take Satan's bait by becoming angry, frustrated or bitter over life's blows.
Instead, seek to display God's fruit of the Spirit and know that you will be blessed.

That's love

A relationship isn't always 50/50.
Some days a person will struggle.
You suck it up and pick up that
80/20 because they need you.
That's love.

Stop

from Will Smith

Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.

Making you wait

If God is making you wait, then be prepared to receive more than you asked for.

Greatly concerned

The evidence of genuine conversion is not sinless perfection, but a life marked by genuine repentance and confession. The one who professes faith in Christ and yet lives in sin with little or no brokenness or divine discipline should be greatly concerned.

Not enough room

from Toby Mac

There is not enough room in your mind for both worry and faith.
Only you can decide which one will live there.

In the fire

Remember Shadrach,

Meshasch, and

Abednego?

God didn't put out the 

fire.

He just put Jesus in 

with them and 

they came out unsinged,

and without smoke.

It's not about God

stopping all the things

that look bad; it's about

Who's in there with you.

(My comments: "just" put Jesus in; stopping all the things that "look" bad)

Lose focus

Satan's biggest fear 

is for you to become

 what God created you

to be.

 That is why he

 has tried everything to 

make you lose focus.

Grieve for

from Flying Free

by Shahida Arabi @ selfcarewarrior

Grieve. For the man or woman you never got to because monsters took that away from you.

Grieve. For the peace of mind, safety, and confidence you deserved to feel every day and didn't get to because people who were threatened by you dimmed your light and made you feel small.

Grieve. For the innocence and potential that could have been celebrated, awakened, and encouraged but was instead brutalized and violated.

And after you have grieved, I hope you come to take back everything that was rightfully yours. May you get everything that was stolen from you - tenfold. This is your inheritance. There is still life ahead of you and I hope you get everything good that you deserve.

And I hope that because you have lost so much in the past, you go forward in the future with that much more determination. Sometimes you have to grieve who you never got to be to become who you truly are meant to be. May it be better than you could have ever imagined.

Good way to look at it

(One) time, my dad gave 50 bucks to a guy who said he needed to buy medicine for his kids. I told my dad he was probably going to spend the money on alcohol or something, but my dad said, "Whether he was lying or not says something about HIS character, but hearing someone in need and choosing not to help when I have the means to, says something about mine."

(Saw this on Facebook)

This year

God said:

This year I made you strong.

Next year, I'm going to make you happy.

Your weakness

by Charles Spurgeon

God doesn't need your strength; He has more than enough of His own.
He asks for your weakness.

The towel

I tried to throw in the towel,
God threw it back and said,
"Wipe your face, you're almost there!"

Saying today

God is saying to you today,

"I know you have been struggling for a long

time. Financially, spiritually, and emotionally.

You have a good heart and people have abused

you in many ways. The devil has tried to make

you lose your mind many times. You have been

betrayed in many ways, yet you stand in the 

midst of your storms. You are still here because 

I am with you. I will not allow any weapon that

is formed against you to prosper. Fear not, I am

going to turn things around and bless you in 

the presence of your enemies.

Hold on to your faith."

Too short

by C. Sikes

Life is too damn short
to constantly be at war
with yourself.

You are better than
this, you are important.
You are loved.

Don't ever let your dark
thoughts make you think
otherwise.

Learn

from Toby Mac

Asking God
"What can I learn?"
instead of
"Why me?"
is a much better
place to park
our minds.

Do not owe explanation

I do not owe a single person an explanation for why I'm living my life the way I am or why I do the things I do. 

Uncertainty and fear

from Toby Mac

Quote from John Piper:

When the darkness of uncertainty and fear hangs over you, don't let go of the one you knew in the light.

Accept by faith

from Toby Mac

Quote from Dr. Billy Graham:

I have been asked hundreds of times in my life why God allows tragedy and suffering. I have to accept by faith, that God is sovereign, and He is a God of love and mercy and compassion in the midst of suffering.

Your mountain

from Toby Mac

Tell your mountain about your God.

Infinite liberality

from John Calvin

However many blessings we expect from God,
His infinite liberality
will always exceed all our wishes and our thoughts.

(Definition of liberality: the quality of giving or spending freely)

Identify with

from Flying Free

We support and defend those we most identify with.

Remember that the next time someone you know defends an abuser.

She was beautiful

by Susan Reynolds

SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL...

...but she didn't know what that meant.

When she was a little girl
they told her she was beautiful
but it had no meaning
in her world of bicycles
and pigtails
and adventures in make-believe.

Later, she hoped she was beautiful
as boys started to take notice
of her friends
and phones rang for
Saturday night dates.

She felt beautiful on her wedding day,
hopeful with her
new life partner by her side
but, later,
when her children
called her beautiful,
she was often exhausted,
her hair messily tied back,
no make-up,
wide in the waist
where it used to be narrow;
she just couldn't take it in.

Over the years, as she tried,
in fits and starts,
to look beautiful,
she found other things
to take priority,
like bills
and meals,
as she and her life partner
worked hard
to make a family,
to make ends meet,
to make children into adults,
to make a life.

Now,
she sat.
Alone.
Her children grown,
her partner flown,
and she couldn't remember
that last time
she was called beautiful.

But she was.

It was in every single line on her face,
in the strength of her arthritic hands,
the ampleness that had
a million hugs imprinted
on its very skin,
and in the jiggly thighs and
thickened ankles
that had run the race for her.

She had lived her life with a loving
and generous heart,
had wrapped her arms
around so many to
give them comfort and peace.
Her ears had
heard both terrible news
and lovely songs,
and her eyes
had brimmed with,
oh, so many tears,
they were now bright,
even as they dimmed.

She had lived and she was.
And because she was,
she was made beautiful.

A major life disruption

Trauma permanently changes us.

This is the big, scary truth about trauma:

there is no such thing as "getting over it."

The five stages of grief model marks

universal stages in learning to accept loss,

but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major

life disruption leaves a new normal in its

wake. There is no "back to the old me." You

are different now, full stop.

This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing

from trauma can also mean finding new

strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a 

papering-over of changes in an effort to

preserve or present things as normal. It is to

acknowledge and wear your new life - warts,

wisdom, and all - with courage.

The good shepherd

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

John 10:14-15
I am the good shepherd and I know my sheep, and I am known by My own. As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.

The door

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

John 10:7, 9-10
Jesus the Good Shepherd
Then Jesus said to them again, "Most assuredly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

Light of the world

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

John 8:12
Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying "I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life."

Look good...

Posted by Jennifer Rhine Williams

from an Instagram post by Sarah Nicole Landry

Years ago, I listened to a well-intended man speak on how he was on a "look good naked" diet. He went on to explain his desire to be aesthetically pleasing for his wife by making his body thinner and fitter, to look good naked.

It's amazing to me how some things are said so casually, yet in your mind they reveal themselves like a gas leak, slowly poisoning your thoughts.

And that's exactly what happened to me that day. A slow leak.

I remember sitting there, listening and feeling like it was over for me. I was 225 lbs., had birthed and breastfed 3 children. My body showed for it.

In the years to come it didn't matter how thin or fit I would come to be. "Look good naked" felt like an impossible standard placed on me in today's society.

Sure, I could look good dressed up. I could wear T-shirts in the bedroom, or be laying down just so. Pillows placed strategically. Thought put into every single move. Just be covered. Hide.

Nakedness was not something I looked forward to; it was something I feared.

And let me stop and say now that you don't owe anyone your nakedness. You really don't. Your body is forever your choice. No matter the relationship status.

But over the last few years I've slowly allowed myself to be seen. To myself first, and then to a man whose children these were not. With scars and the signs of the life and the nourishment that my body gave those children present and in sight.

And I realized, in all this guilt and shame in feeling I had to "look good naked", I had missed the entire point of nakedness.

A complete vulnerability, connection, intimacy. With oneself, and if chosen, another.

I had sold myself short.

With these gas leaks in my mind, I was missing the experience and gift of intimacy and connection by focusing on LOOKING good instead of FEELING good.

Missing how worthy I ALWAYS was of it.

Because I was always more than my body.
All stripped away, I see that now.
I can see that I was always more.
A feel good naked truth.

His gates

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 100:4-5
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.
For the Lord is good;
His mercy is everlasting,
And His truth endures to all generations.

Walk in Him

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Colossians 2:6-7
As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving.

Whatever you do

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Be thankful

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Colossians 3:15
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body, and be thankful.

Know why

from Toby Mac

by Adrian Rogers

You don't have to know why when you know who.

Sorry

God, I am so sorry for the way I complain about circumstances.
Please forgive me for my bad attitude when things don't go my way.
I know you have a beautiful plan for my life, and have already showered me with more blessings than I can count. Amen.

Do not lean

When the Bible says, "Do not lean on your own understanding,"
the Bible is being serious.
Your heart is deceitful,
your emotions fluctuate,
your understanding does not see the overall, big picture.
God never lies, God never changes, God knows all.
Trust Him.

Than you

You are stronger than you know.
More capable than you ever dreamed.
And you are loved more than you could possibly imagine.

Give thanks

from Toby Mac

Many people give thanks to God when He gives.
Job gave thanks when He took.

Figured out

The Bible never once says, "Figure it out."
But over and over it says, "Trust God."
He's already got it all figured out.

You and God

What if your struggle is simply God's way of saying, "I miss you"? It's time to slow down and go to the Father, and lay your burdens down at His feet. No more running from God. No more trying to fight by yourself. No more trying to please man. Just you and God together.

Preparing you

God is preparing you, not punishing you.
Trust His plan, not your pain.

Blessings

Abundant blessings come your way when you are being a blessing.

Undone

from Toby Mac

by Elisabeth Elliot

To pray, "Thy will be done,"
I must be willing,
if the answer requires it,
that my will be undone.

Survivors

from Flying Free

by Darlene Ouimet

Survivors of any and all abuse become very good at anticipating moods of others, looks, actions; all of it in an effort to survive. Believing that if we can be agreeable, be compliant, and loving, do things how they want, that we will be safe. This becomes our way of life.

The Helper

Some people aren't good at asking for help because they're so used to being "the helper."

Throughout their life they've experienced an unbalanced give and take, so their instinct is usually "I'll figure it out on my own." The self-reliance is all they've ever known.

Later roles

from Toby Mac
by Louie Giglio

God is using your present
circumstances to make you
more useful for later roles
in His unfolding story.

Be grateful

by Toby Mac

Be grateful for the wound that pushes you toward God.

Trouble and anguish

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 119:143
Trouble and anguish have overtaken me,
Yet your commandments are my delights.

Suffering

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

1 Peter 3:18
Christ's Suffering and Ours
For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit.

Can't get enough

You will never be too much for someone who can't get enough of you.

Surprised

Psalm 18:16-19
But me He caught-reached all the way from sky to sea;
He pulled me out of that ocean (of despair),
that enemy chaos,
the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved - surprised to be loved!

NKJV:
He sent from above, He took me;
He drew me out of many waters.
He delivered me from my strong enemy,
From those who hated me,
For they were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
But the Lord was my support.
He also brought me into a broad place;
He delivered me because He delighted in me.

Life to live over

If I Had My Life to Live Over
by Erma Bombeck (I've always loved her)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have just bought anything because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or wasn't guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of willing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside of me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle...

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would have never said, "Later...now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's", more "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute, look at it and really see it, live it and never give it back...

Stop sweating the small stuff!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us...

Include/exclude

At the end of the day, I'd rather be excluded for who I include, than be included for who I exclude.

Missed myself

I missed myself.
I'm glad she's coming back.

Whispers

Grief shows up for many reasons, in many moments, in many shapes and forms and experiences.
Grief whispers, "Love lived here."

My own note in regards to the last line: It still does

The day you left me

Since the day you left me, I realized that in grieving, one never heals from the pain of losing a loved one. I have just learned to live one day at a time with a heartache that has become a part of me.

She tried

She tried talking to you, but you won't listen.
She's cried herself to sleep at night,
but you're not paying attention.
She's tried everything in her power to get you to show her that you still care.
The sad part is - you may not see it until she's no longer there.

The world

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

1 John 2:15-16
Do Not Love the World
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-is not of the Father but is of the world.

Snow

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Job 37:5-6
God thunders marvelously with His voice; He does great things which we cannot comprehend. For He says to the snow, "Fall on the earth;" Likewise to the gentle rain and the heavy rain of His strength.

Never been a day

There has never been a day when God has panicked and thought - she's ruined everything.

A woman's soul

If a man loves a woman's soul, he'll end up loving one woman, but if he loves a woman's face, all the women in the world won't satisfy him.

A day

Never regret a day in your life:
good days give happiness,
bad days give experience,
worst days give lessons,
and best days give memories.

Rewires

from Flying Free

by Ryan North

Our brains are wired for connection, but trauma rewires them for protection. That's why healthy relationships are difficult for wounded people.

The Merton Prayer

This was shared by Jill in the prayer group from the Sunday night Bible Study

The Merton Prayer
by Thomas Merton

My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though
I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

After the storm

from Flying Free

After the Storm

They were in the galleys of the clouds, roaring and rowing the menacing gloom across the beaming, hopeful expanse. Unsolicited and enraged, they pelted her with thunderous labels:

"Toxic"

"Unstable"

"Unworthy"

  The unwarranted lightning which they struck her only reflected their own corruption. Her unrelenting trust and faith were rendered irreparable by those charlatans who called themselves leaders. They despised her inexhaustible optimism and radiating harmony, so they lacerated her soul, barbarously slashed away her dignity, and discarded her as if she were filth. Their opaque clouds of destruction and hatred smothered her once-ferocious gleam of passion.

   Then, the rain fell swiftly. The torrents of tears lasted for years. She and her loved ones were flooded with injustice and pain. 

She was drowning.

   Even so, she sustained those diminishing embers of aspiration. She endured the unyielding storms. Those meager flames, her tearful smiles, and her unconditional love were often the only sparks igniting joy within her home. With tenacity, she stood firm.

   Years later, she progresses toward healing and revival. Her sparkle has returned, and she is unbelievably radiant.

   Those calloused casuists have not yet seen her again, but they will. When they creep out from their dastardly fortresses, they will search the ground for remnants of her trampled optimism.

   Nevertheless, they will not find her there. They will lift their eyes and discover that she resides above them. Just as a rainbow glimmers after the storm, she will emerge triumphant and renewed despite their hostility. Her illustrious colors will overwhelm the sky and vanquish her agony. They will have no choice but to describe her as she truly is:

"Undefeatable"

"Flourishing"

"Worthy"

Some more

Thank you for the songs last night...I knew that was you

I will love you until the moment I pass from this existence to the next,
and then I will find you again and love you some more.

Worthy

"I love the writing of Canadian farmer's wife Ann Voskamp. One night, while her husband unexpectedly massaged her feet, she wondered, 'Why is it easier to pour out than to let yourself be loved?...Letting yourself receive love means trusting you will be loved in your vulnerable need; it means believing you are worthy of being loved. Why can that be so heartbreakingly hard?'
   I know why: because I know what's inside me. The pride. The selfishness. What I did yesterday. The things I thought - just an hour ago.
  Stop it now. God is love. And our vulnerable God opens himself to cover my love-fears with himself. Love is not about my worthiness, my enough-ness. It's about God's unendingness."

by Elisa Morgan, The Prayer Coin

Reminder: Take This Cup. Not My Will.

Suspicion

This is a profound thought...

The root of all sin is the suspicion that God is not good.
-Oswald Chambers

Your adversary

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

1 Peter 5:8-9
Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.

Living sacrifices

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Romans 12:1
Living Sacrifices to God
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.

Two-edged sword

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of the soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Choose her

The woman you are becoming will cost you people, relationships, spaces and material things.
Choose her over everything.

Theological identity

from Flying Free

by Connie A. Baker

Perhaps the most difficult identity crisis for spiritual abuse survivors is the loss of theological identity. The survivor has to question his/her identity in relation to God. It can feel very much like God no longer has any regard for the survivor.

All of a sudden

Everything will happen for you all of a sudden and you will be thankful you didn't give up.
Blessings are coming. Believe that.

Decide

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

Don't tell anyone

Don't tell anyone what you're doing until it's done-outside energy can throw off goals.

Favorite place

"What's your favorite place?"

"I don't have a favorite place. I have my favorite people. And, whenever I'm with my favorite people, it becomes my favorite place."

Meant to do

by Doris Lessing

Whatever you're meant to do, do it now.
The conditions are always impossible.

Your power

Sometimes people try to destroy you, precisely because they recognize your power - not because they don't see it, but because they see it and they don't want it to exist.

Yours to carry

from Toby Mac

A gentle reminder:
Not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry.

Broken little girl

Beneath every

strong, independent woman lies a

broken little girl who had to learn

how to get back up and to never

depend on anyone. 

It happens

And then it happens...

One day you wake up and

you're in this place.

You're in this place where

everything feels right.

Your heart is calm.

Your soul is lit.

Your thoughts are positive.

Your vision is clear.

You're at peace, at peace with

where you've been, at peace

with what you've been through

and at peace where 

you're headed.

We never die

Renowned Scientist Says We Never Die - So Does It Mean "Death Is Just an Illusion"?

by EMG Inspired Staff, The Epoch Times

It seems real when we lose a loved one, but what if they are not really dead? One famous scientist believes that the death of the body is far from the end. Meanwhile, a renowned neurosurgeon who has gone through a near-death experience confirms there is "life after death." Eastern civilization has believed since antiquity that death is an illusion - and now it seems the rest of the world, especially the scientific community, is catching on. So is death just an illusion?

(Side note for me: the Bible says that physical death is real)

Dr. Robert Lanza - who was listed in TIME magazine's 2014 list of of the top 100 most influential people on the planet - believes death is an illusion and not real. Dr. Lanza is the head of Astellas Global Regenerative Medicine. He is also an adjunct professor at Wake Forest University Medical School.

According to him, even when the body disintegrates upon death, we still exist as a form of 20-watt energy. "Although individual bodies are destined to self-destruct, the alive feeling - the "Who am I?"- is just a 20-watt fountain of energy operating in the brain," says Dr. Lanza.

Some might argue that this energy just disappears after death. But Dr. Lanza highlights the universal principle of conversation of energy to back his claims. He says, "But this energy doesn't go away at death. One of the surest axioms of science is that energy never dies; it can neither be created or destroyed. But does this energy transcend from one world to the other?" he adds.

A new scientific theory known as "Biocentrism" expounds on the ideas of "multiverse" and "many worlds" - the idea is similar to the one of parallel universes. "There are an infinite number of universes, and everything that could possibly happen occurs in some universe. Death does not exist in any real sense in these scenarios," says Dr. Lanza, who has written over 30 books and published hundreds of scientific articles.

So, does this mean the near-death experiences that many people have gone through could be real, and possibly explain that "Who am I" part of our consciousness or our "souls"? Read below the near-death experience (NDE) of a famous American neurosurgeon. Dr. Eben Alexander is a well-known American neurosurgeon who has been into this profession for the last 25 years, including 15 years at the Brigham & Women's Hospital and Harvard Medical School in Boston, Massachusetts. On one night of 2008, he woke up with severe spasms and pain in his head, and then he collapsed. In a matter of hours, this healthy neurosurgeon, who's a son of a neurosurgeon, was on a death stroller.

When his family got him to the hospital, he was already in a coma. The diagnosis report said that it was caused by severe bacterial meningitis. The doctors told his wife that his body showed no recognizable brain activity and the he might not survive. But Dr. Alexander says he was already into some "other world" that he always thought never existed as a man of science, and he experienced firsthand what he himself once labeled as "hallucinations" and "illusions" like any other medical professional would name it. He says he traveled through some dark formless place. "I was rescued from that by this spinning melody of light. It came closer and opened up, and was a rip in the fabric of reality, that just opened up around me," says Dr. Alexander in an interview with ABC.

Dr. Alexander says that a gorgeous girl with deep-blue eyes, whom he had never seen before, guided him in the "vivid new world" as the both "flew by." He says she never spoke to him, but her thoughts were conveyed the moment she would look at him. "She said, 'You're loved. You're cherished. There is nothing you can do wrong,'" he says.

He says, "I remember being told that 'we will teach you many things, but you will be going back." He recalls that she told him,"all is well, don't worry," before he was back into his body. Then he came out of the coma after seven days.

Within a few weeks, he made an astonishingly full recovery. Dr. Alexander, who was raised by an adoptive family, then met his biological parents and came to know that he had a biological sister whom he'd never met and that she died at the age of 36. When he saw her picture, it was the same fairy he saw in the "other world" - same features, same person whom he had never seen in his life before.

"It was so stunning," he says. "I cannot tell you how powerful that was, there was no mistaking it, that's exactly who it was."

Skeptics say it is "normal" to experience all such illusions or hallucinations while in a coma and under medication. But Dr. Alexander says in his case, bacterial meningitis had infected all of his brain, including the areas that control vision, thoughts, imagination, and that areas that control our ability to dream. He has recorded his account in the book, Proof of Heaven (read it).

Wait for the Lord

4 Ways to Wait for the Lord When Life Feels Like Garbage
by Stephen Altrogge on FaithIt

Life has felt pretty crappy lately.

Nevertheless, it still feels...hard.

For the last three months, we've had at least one child sick and home from school almost every day. On top of that, my old nemesis depression has been dogging my footsteps, making me feel like I wake up under a dark cloud.

It's been hard to wait for the Lord to bring relief. Rest. Peace. Joy.

And I know I'm not alone. All of us have something we're waiting for the Lord to do.

To bring a spouse.

To give life to a barren womb.

To save a wandering child.

To repair a once-treasured, now shattered relationship.

We know God is faithful. We know that He's good and He loves us. But it's so excruciatingly hard to wait for the Lord to act. To move. To deliver. To rescue.

Thankfully, Scripture itself is a story of waiting. Abraham waited for a son, Joseph waited for deliverance, David waited to be made king, Israel waited for a Messiah, and we all wait for the return of the serpent crusher.

God's word has much to say about how we wait. Biblical waiting isn't passive, like waiting for a train to arrive. It's an active, aggressive sort of waiting.

So how do we wait for the Lord in a way that honors Him, fills us with hope, and gives us strength to carry on even when we feel like we're in the dark?

Waiting for the Lord: 4 Ways

1.  We Wait For The Lord In Faith

There are two types of waiting.

The first type is unsure, fearful waiting. We're not sure if God is going to come through, as if He's some sort of unreliable parent who forgets to pick up His kids at soccer practice/

We hope God delivers us...

...but what if He doesn't?

This kind of waiting is displeasing and dishonoring to God.

The second type is waiting in strong faith. We've run all the numbers, calculated the odds, and can't figure out how God is going to come through for us.

Nevertheless, we trust Him because we know His character. We know that He's infinitely good and loving and that He will deliver us, even if that deliverance isn't the kind we expected.

Proverbs 3:5-6 spells it out clearly:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.

When life is in shambles, one of our greatest temptations is to lean on our own understanding. To try to figure everything out. To play out every scenario in our heads and determine which one is most likely.

We become like divine weathermen, trying to map out which way God's providence will blow.

But when we wait for the Lord in faith, we make a conscious effort to reject our own understanding. Our understanding is extraordinarily limited.

I mean, seriously, think about it...

We're aware of about 1/1,000,000,000th of what is happening in every circumstance.

God knows everything that's happening in our lives and HE knows exactly what He will do.

Waiting that honors God is characterized by faith in His character.

2.  We Wait For The Lord Loudly

Have you ever noticed when David was waiting for the Lord to deliver, he was very loud about it?

For example, in Psalm 35:17, he says:

How long, O Lord, will you look on? 
Rescue me from their destructions,
My precious life from the lions.

David waited in faith, but he certainly wasn't quiet, meek and mild while he was waiting. He was constantly crying out to the Lord for deliverance. At times, you could even mistake the intensity of his requests for irreverence.

But David knew that God was good, faithful, and kind. He knew that God loved to give good gifts, including deliverance, to His children. And so, like any child, he asked for that deliverance repeatedly and loudly.

Jesus reinforced this truth with the parable of the persistent widow. She pestered and harassed the unrighteous judge until he couldn't take it any longer. If even a corrupt judge will respond to persistent requests, how much more will our loving God?

Waiting that honors God is characterized by persistent pleas for deliverance.

3.  We Wait For The Lord Patiently

When it comes to waiting, I am the world's least patient person. They could make a reality show about my impatience. When traffic gets congested, I transform into Jeff Gordon, cutting left, zagging right, anything to make forward progress.

If a YouTube video buffers for more than 3.2 seconds, I'm gone. Heck, I even watch some YouTube videos on 2x speed (IT'S A SICKNESS, OKAY?)

When it comes to waiting for God to deliver me...

...again, not so patient.

To quote Queen, "I want it all and I want it now."

And, of course, God always gives me what I want, when I want it, because I know what's best for me.

Except that I don't, and if God did give me everything I wanted right when I asked for it, I would probably be dead or living in a van down by the river (See: Matt Foley, motivational speaker).

Psalm 84:11 is a sharp reminder of how God operates:

For the Lord God is a sun and a shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.

If something is good for me, God will give it to me at the appropriate time. He's not going to hold back a single blessing from me, and He's going to give them to me when I'll get the most goodness from them and He'll get the most glory.

It was good for David to be king of Israel, but first, he had to hide in the desert caves.

It was good for Abraham to have a son, but first there needed to be no doubt that both (he) and Sarah were completely barren.

It will be glorious when Christ returns, but first, the full number of people must be saved.

God doesn't serve up undercooked blessings. When the time is right, He delivers the full course meal.

Until then, we're called to wait for the Lord patiently.

4.  We Wait For The Lord Dependently

The apostle Paul knew a thing or two about waiting. In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, he wrote about the thorn in the flesh:

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

This thorn in the flesh was no joke. Paul was no pansy. He had been tossed in prison, almost stoned to death, beaten with rods, pursued by people who wanted to kill him, and shipwrecked, all for the sake of the (G)ospel.

And yet, this thorn was so bad that Paul pleaded with God three times to take it away. Whatever the thorn was - blindness, persecution, demonic attack - it made Paul feel desperate for deliverance.

There's no indication in (S)cripture that God ever removed the thorn, but what we do know is that while Paul was waiting for deliverance he depended mightily on the sustaining grace of God.

Paul's thorn forced him to throw his entire weight on God's sustaining grace and power. That was the only way he could survive.

The same is true for us. The only way we can survive in our waiting is to throw ourselves fully on God. We are completely and totally dependent on Him.

If we don't wait dependently on the Lord, we end up bitter, dried up, and hopeless. The only way to survive the long dark is to cling to Christ, the true light.

We wait for the Lord dependently, relying on His power and not our own.

Don't Just Stand There, Get Waiting!

There are few things harder than waiting for God to deliver us. But it's crucial to remember that even when it feels absolutely nothing is happening, God is working.

I'm reminded of the scene in C.S. Lewis book, "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" when the ship sails into an inky black cloud. They encounter a man who tells them that they're in a place where their nightmares come true.

Just when things seem to be at their worst, Lucy calls out to Aslan, asking him to deliver them. Suddenly, a brilliant, shining albatross flies over the ship and around Lucy, who is standing in the (crow's) nest. It leads them out of the darkness and back into the light.

Lewis then writes:

But no one except Lucy knew that as it circled the mast it had whispered to her, "Courage, dear heart," and the voice, she felt sure, was Aslan's, and with the voice a delicious smell breathed in her face.

You may be in the dark, and it may seem as though it's never going to end.

But take courage, dear heart.

His truth

The devil wants you to pay attention to your feelings.
Jesus wants you to pay attention to His truth.

Small things

by Zoe Clark Coates

Small things can trigger a fresh wave of grief. A smell, a look, or perhaps a song. Within seconds you are flung into a time machine and transported back to that "moment" where time stood still and the world had crashed at your feet.

Bear burdens

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Galatians 6:2
Bear one another's burdens,
and so fulfill the law of Christ.

End of life

This was an article in the Detroit Free Press by John Wisely. It was posted on the Gift of Life Facebook page. I've always wondered a little about this...

Why parents don't get a say about end of life when a child is brain dead

The parents of 14-year-old Bobby Reyes of Ash Township were outraged Tuesday when officials at C.S. Mott Children's Hospital withdrew life support from their son, whose heart and lung functions stopped moments later.

But hospital officials said to continue the ventilator after a confirmation of brain death would be unethical, arguing in essence that the boy was dead already and had been for almost three weeks.

The drama surrounding the death of the Monroe County teen raises two questions: When is someone really dead? And who gets to say so?

Medical ethicists acknowledge that the clinical definition of death doesn't always align neatly with the layperson's understanding of it, especially that of grieving parents.

"It's always been very difficult because the technology allows the brain-dead body to be warm and perfused and to have a beating heart," said Dr. Daniel Sulmasy, acting director of the Kennedy Institute of Ethics at Georgetown University. "It's always very difficult for anybody to sort of say, 'Well, how is my child dead?'"

Sulmasy said parents are accustomed to making medical decisions for their children, but brain death is different.

"If the child were comatose, but not brain dead, then yes, the parents would be the people who would make a decision whether surgery was going to be done, whether the child was going to be put on a ventilator, or a feeding tube was going to be put in," he said.

"But you don't need someone's consent or a family's consent to declare them dead. It's a medical judgment. It's not a moral sort of judgment or quality of life judgment."

Parents' plea on Facebook
Bobby's case drew wide attention after his parents, Sarah Jones and Jose Reyes, posted a plea on Facebook to keep their son alive.

Bobby suffered a severe asthma attack Sept. 22nd which left him unresponsive. He was taken to Beaumont Hospital in Trenton and then airlifted to C.S. Mott Children's Hospital at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. Doctors there conducted a brain death examination Sept. 24th and found no signs of electrical impulses in his brain stem and no blood flow to his brain. They declared him brain dead and sought a second test to confirm their findings.

Bobby's parents waged a court fight to prevent that second test. They lost that fight Tuesday. Hospital officials then conducted the second test, which they said confirmed the findings of the first.

Hospital staffers disconnected the teen from life support that afternoon. His heart and lung functions stopped moments later.

"The family is heartbroken and do not feel that anything was done with any compassion," said William Amadeo, a lawyer for Bobby's parents.

Amadeo was trying to get the Michigan Court of Claims to issue a stay in the case on Tuesday afternoon as hospital staffers were disconnecting Bobby's life support.

The family had spoken with other doctors who had given them reason to hope that Bobby could recover, including Richard P. Bonfiglio, who practices in Murrysville, Pennsylvania,, and attended the Tuesday court hearing in the case.

"The problem is the whole determination of brain death is not a precise science at this point, so when you're dealing with this kind of situation, I would rather err on the side of giving him a chance than on terminating things," Bonfiglio told the Free Press Tuesday.

Electrical activity and blood flow
The hospital explained its decision in a statement.

"The brain death examination showed Bobby had no detectable brain or brain stem function. Further testing - including an electrical encephalogram (EEG) and a cerebral blood flow study - detected no electrical activity and no blood flow to Bobby's brain," the statement said. "By law in Michigan, an individual is dead who has sustained either irreversible cessation of circulatory and respiratory functions or irreversible cessation of all function of the entire brain, including the brain stem."

Trevor Bibler, an assistant professor of medicine at the Center for Medical Ethics & Health Policy at the Baylor College of Medicine in Texas, said continuing life support temporarily might be considered for family purposes, such as giving an out-of-town relative time to travel to see the patient.

(Side note: I am feeling physically ill as I copy this article)

But that's not necessarily the right answer in all cases.

"Part of the reason why people are willing to give family time to gather, time to get more comfortable with the decision itself," he said. "Sometimes that ends up being exactly what's needed and sometimes they might end up regretting not taking a very strict approach right at the beginning and saying, look, this patient is dead. And so now I have an obligation to stop support because it's no longer life support right? There's no life to be supported at this point."

In 2016, the Society of Critical Care Medicine Ethics Committee published a statement on potentially inappropriate interventions in such a case.

"ICU interventions should generally be considered inappropriate when there is no reasonable expectation that the patient will improve sufficiently outside the acute care setting," the statement reads, adding that it could also be considered inappropriate "when there is no reasonable expectation that the patient's neurologic function will improve sufficiently to allow the patient to perceive the benefits of treatment."

Three stages

by Hudson Taylor

I have found that there are three stages in every great work of God:
first, it is impossible,
then it is difficult,
then it is done.

Communicate

Communicate. Even when it's uncomfortable or uneasy.
One of the best ways to heal,
is simply getting everything out.

It's still

IT'S STILL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

They don't have to hit you, choke you,

or slam your head into a wall

in order for it to be domestic violence.

They can degrade you, humiliate you,

blame you, scream at you, lie to you,

cheat on you, and withhold finances,

or even just try to control you and 

IT IS STILL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.

-Morgan McKean

Don't waste anything

From God

I don't waste anything in your life, including your suffering.

Situation

It's funny how we ask God to change our situation.
Not knowing He put us in the situation to change us.

The lighthouse

Don't forget that maybe you are the lighthouse in someone else's storm.

The queen

She is always the queen
no matter how shuffled the cards are.

Desires of your heart

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He will give you the desires of your heart.

Restore to me

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 51:12
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.

I delight

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 40:8
I delight to do Your will, O my God,
And Your law is within my heart.

Wait!

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 27:14
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!

All the world

Posted by Jenny Rhine Williams

written by Maya Angelou

In all the world there is
no heart for me like yours.
In all the world there is
no love for you like mine.

Mistakes

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life,
but if
every single one
had to happen to make sure I was
right here,
right now,
to meet you,
then I forgive myself
for them all.

Posted by Jenny Rhine Williams
Written by K. Towne Jr.

Truly loves you

If he truly loves you
he will love you
when you are an ocean breeze
but also
when you are a summer storm.

You were not made
to be loved in parts,
You were meant
to be loved as a whole.

Posted by Jenny Rhine Williams

One day

Posted by Jenny Rhine-Williams

One day,
when I wake up at 3 am,
unable to sleep,
I will look next to me
and you will be there.
Sleeping peacefully beside me
and suddenly,
the world won't seem so lonely.

Never not

by Virginia Woolf, Selected Diaries

Posted by Jenny Rhine-Williams

In case you ever foolishly forget:
I am never not thinking of you.

Relentless

I was so undeserving,
And yet, you were
so relentless.
I pushed - you pulled.
I wept - you embraced.
I bled - you repaired.
I faltered - you shushed.
I stopped - you smiled.
I was a disaster -
the worst of its kind.
And yet, you still
had the audacity
to let me know
that I was beautiful.

Posted by Jenny Rhine-Williams

Him

When your eyes met mine,
my soul pointed at you and whispered to my heart,
"Him"...

Posted by Jenny Rhine-Williams

Secret of the Lord

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 25:14-15
The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him,
And He will show them His covenant.
My eyes are forever toward the Lord,
For He shall pluck my feet out of the net.

How much strength

by Horacio Jones

I don't think people realize how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a dark place mentally. So if you've done that today or any day, I'm proud of you.

Your future

by Toby Mac

Your future needs you.
Your past doesn't.

A shovel

by Andrew J. Bauman
Stumbling Toward Wholeness

Grief serves as a shovel for the soul: it digs, mines, and excavates painfully, at times violently. But deep love enters those very same spaces. If we never allow ourselves to feel the pain of loss and betrayal, we will not feel the fullness of love.

Praying

by Corrie Ten Boom

The wonderful thing about praying is that you leave a world of not being able to do something, and enter God's realm where everything is possible. He specializes in the impossible. Nothing is too great for His almighty power. Nothing is too small for His love.

Take care of her

Take care of her, because life doesn't reward you with a good woman twice.

Words of my mouth

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 19:4
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart,
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.

Be patient

from Flying Free

Someone who's mentally abused will...

• Constantly apologize...because they're used to being criticized excessively.
• Hide their feelings...because they're used to being blamed for them/having them discredited.
• Breakdown during small disagreements...because it'll trigger a flashback to a time when their abuser exploded out of nowhere.
• Need a lot of reassurance...because they're used to being constantly told they're "not enough"

Please be patient, they're trying.

Train your mind

You have to train your mind to be stronger than your emotions or else you'll lose yourself everytime.

The only one

by Toby Mac

The only one qualified to throw a stone...didn't

Powerful place

Grapes must be crushed to make wine. Diamonds form under pressure. Olives are pressed to release oil. Seeds grow in darkness. Whenever you feel crushed, under pressure, pressed, or in darkness, you're in a powerful place of transformation and transmutation. Trust the process. Trust God.

Own the day

by Ralph Waldo Emerson

He said, "Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety. Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in. Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays."

Best weight

The best weight you'll ever lose is the weight of other people's opinions of you.

Called weird

Being called weird is like being called limited edition.
It means you're something people don't see that often.
Remember that.

Phenomenal woman

by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder

where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to

suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell

them,

They think I'm telling lies.

I say,

It's in the reach of my 

arms,

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips,

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Real love

by Toby Mac

Real love is often the hardest love.

Your own understanding

When the Bible says "do not lean on your own understanding," the Bible is being serious. Your heart is deceitful, your emotions fluctuate, your understanding does not see the overall, big picture. God never lies, God never changes, God knows all. Trust Him.

Took my hand

I know I've recorded this before, but it's so beautiful...

Mom, He Only Took My Hand

Last night while I was trying to sleep, my son's voice I did hear.

I opened my eyes and looked around but he did not appear.

He said, Mom you've got to listen, you've got to understand

God didn't take me from you Mom, He only took my hand.

When I called out in pain that morning, the instant that I died,

He reached down and took my hand, and pulled me to his side.

He pulled me up and saved me from the misery and pain

My body was hurt so badly inside, I could never be the same.

My search is really over now, I've found happiness within.

All the answers to my empty dreams and all that might have been.

I love you so and miss you so, but I'll always be nearby

My body's gone forever, but my spirit will never die

And so you must go on now, live one day at a time

Just understand, God did not take me from you...

He only took my hand.

A seed

For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.

Responsible

If you ran out of money after paying all your bills and taking care of your home, you are not broke, you are responsible.

Know your worth

by Al Leaston

A father, before he died, said to his son, "This is a watch your grandfather gave me, and is more than 200 years old. But before I give it to you, go to the watch shop on the first street, and tell him I want to sell it, and see how much he offers you."

He went, and then came back to his father, and said, "The watchmaker offered 5 dollars because it's old."

He said to him, "Go to the coffee shop."

He went, and then came back, and said, "He offered $5, Father."

"Go to the museum and show that watch."

He went to them, came back, and said to his father, "They offered me a million dollars for this piece."

The father said, "I wanted to let you know that the right place values you in the right way."

Don't find yourself in the wrong place and get angry if you are not valued.

Those that know your value are those who appreciate you. Don't stay in a place where nobody sees your value."

Know your worth.

Butterflies

Butterflies can't see their wings. They can't see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well.

Treat others

from Toby Mac

Every person you see is someone Jesus thought enough of to die for.
Remember that in how you treat others.

None like you

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

2 Samuel 7:22
Therefore You are great, O Lord God.
For there is none like You,
nor is there any God besides You,
according to all that we have heard with our ears.

A future and a hope

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Be transformed

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Romans 12:2
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Day by day

Anxiety happens

 when you think

 you have to figure out

 everything at once.

Breathe.

You're strong.

You've got this.

Take it day by day.

Waits for God

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

A Calm Resolve to Wait for the Salvation of God.
To the Chief Musician.
To Jeduthun.
A Psalm of David.
Truly my soul silently waits for God;
From Him comes my salvation.

Counsel

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Proverbs 19:20-21
Listen to counsel and receive instruction,
That you may be wise in your latter days.
There are many plans in a man's heart,
Nevertheless the Lord's counsel - that will stand.

The giant

The giant in front of you
is never bigger
than the God
inside of you.

Don't care

When you truly don't care what anyone else thinks of you,
you have reached a dangerously awesome level of freedom.

Be both

from Toby Mac

You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.
-Sophia Bush

One day

Because one day you're going to meet someone who teaches you, you're enough. One day you're going to meet someone and everything you've done for others is going to come back to you. One day you're going to cross paths with someone who makes you realize how great you are and you'll start to see yourself through his eyes. And you won't look at your flaws or the things you wish you could change. Because to him you're going to be perfect.

Nothing to prove

Learn to be okay with people not knowing your side of the story.
You have nothing to prove to anyone.

Overwhelmed

Whenever you feel overwhelmed...remember Whose daughter you are and straighten our crown.

Losers

from Flying Free

Narcissists do not pick losers. They target the best of the best. The strongest. The smartest. The most capable. The ones who surpass their own level. So if you happen to have a narc in your life, take a moment to think about the reality of that. You're stronger than them. You're smarter than them. You're a survivor. And they know it. They need you. Not the other way around.

Everlasting strength

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Isaiah 26:4
Trust in the Lord forever,
For in YAH, the Lord,
is everlasting strength.

He is near

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Isaiah 55:6
Seek the Lord while He may be found,
Call upon Him while He is near.

Fellowship of God

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 63:1
Joy in the Fellowship of God, A Psalm of David when he was in the wilderness of Judah
O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.

Do not boast

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Proverbs 27:1
Do not boast about tomorrow,
For you do not know what a day may bring forth.

A living hope

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

1 Peter 1:3
A Heavenly Inheritance
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

Safe

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Proverbs 29:25
The fear of man brings a snare,
But whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.

You will know

John 13:7
Jesus answered and said to him, "What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this."

When are apologies appropriate

from Flying Free

Say Sorry When...

• You've crossed a boundary
• You become aware that someone felt hurt by an action of yours
• You were mistaken about something

Don't Apologize For...

• Taking up space
• Consuming resources
• Existing
• Expressing yourself
• Asking for something
• Asserting yourself
• Putting yourself first
• Being different
• Disappointing others
• Choosing what works for you
• For saying no
• For saying yes
• For being happy
• For being sad
• For being upset
• For having needs
• For having feelings
• For having wants
• For being 

Give thanks

From Days of Praise

In Everything Give Thanks
"Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no more herds in the stalls; Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation."
(Habakkuk 3:17-18)

It is easy to be happy and cheerful in times of prosperity, when one has all the comforts of an affluent lifestyle and everything seems to be going well. The testing times come, however, when these material comforts are somehow taken away, and one feels defeated and all alone.
   Except for God! Whatever else may fail, God "will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5). Since we still have the Lord (assuming we have trusted Him for forgiveness and salvation through Christ), we can always "rejoice in the Lord,...in the God of my salvation."
   Job, for example, lost all his possessions, then his children, finally his health, and even his wife turned against him. Yet he could say, "The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:21)
   God has commanded the Christian: "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Not for everything, but in everything!
   This has always been one of the greatest testimonies a Christian can give to an unbeliever - the testimony of a life rejoicing in God's salvation even in the midst of trouble. This was the example of Christ Himself, "who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God" (Hebrews 12:2). "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory" (2 Corinthians 4:17).

Don't see anything

by Toby Mac

Just because you don't see anything happening
doesn't mean God is not working.

Complain

When you complain,
you make yourself a victim.
Leave the situation,
change the situation
or accept it.
All else is madness.

-Eckhart Tolle

He found you

by Matt Chandler

You didn't find Jesus,
He found you.
He wasn't lost,
you were.

Your side of the story

Learn to be ok with people not knowing your side of the story.
You don't have to prove anything to anyone anymore.

The spiral

The Spiral

One of our most ancient and enduring symbols,
it represents the winding journeys
we must take inward if we're to
truly know & love ourselves.
From these never-ending journeys
we return with infinitely more
power and wisdom.

Read your Bible

Girl, read your Bible.

you can eat all the kale,
buy all the things,
lift all the weights,
take all the trips,
trash all that doesn't spark joy,
wash your face and hustle like mad,
but if you don't rest your soul in Jesus,
you'll never find your peace and purpose.

My perspective

from Toby Mac

Lord, when I can't change my valley, help me to change my perspective. 
-Jennifer Rothschild

Second chance

Sometimes all you need is a second chance, because time wasn't ready for the first one.

If you're lucky enough to get a second chance at something, don't waste it.

Persecute you

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Matthew 5:11-12
Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Blessings

From an article about motherhood...

But now I'm realizing more and more that just because something's a huge blessing doesn't mean it's easy.

But that's just what I'm learning - that some of life's most amazing blessings also bring our greatest struggles.

Tired

She believed she could but she was tired

...so she rested and you know what?
the world went on and it was okay.
She knew she could try again tomorrow.

From experience

Someone said, "Don't be afraid to start over again. This time, you are not starting from scratch, you are starting from experience."

The more you approve

The more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less you feel the need to have them approved or accepted by others.

from Flying Free

I think it's hard for survivors who are women of faith to make decisions. It's scary at first. We were taught that our authority should make all the decisions for our lives. We were taught that this was God's plan.

That was a propaganda lie taught by...guess who?

God didn't create you as a puppet and hand your strings to someone else. He created you a human being in His likeness, gave you His Spirit, and told you to rule your sphere of influence as a Christ-following queen.

Now go do that.

Seek first

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Matthew 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Also glory in

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Romans 5:3-4
And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance, and perseverance, character, and character, hope.

Healed

When you can tell your story and it doesn't make you cry,
that's when you know you've healed.

Wrong and right

by Saint Augustine

Wrong is wrong even
if everyone is doing it.
Right is right even if
no one is doing it.

Don't quit

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low and the debts are high;
And you want to smile but you have to sigh.
When all is pressing you down a bit~
Rest if you must, but don't you quit
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint on the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are;
It may be near when it seems far.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit.

-John Greenleaf Whittier

People ruin

by Kahlil Gibran

Travel and tell no one.

Live a true love story and tell no one.

Live happily and tell no one.

People ruin beautiful things.

Have to care

To make a difference
in someone's life, you
don't have to be brilliant,
rich, beautiful, or perfect.
You just have to care.

Start over

So worth repeating every time

Start over, my darling.

Be brave enough to find the
life you want and courageous
enough to chase it. Then start
over and love yourself the
way you were always
meant to.

-Madalyn Beck

So positive

Be so positive that negative people don't want to be around you.

Tell me

by Mary Oliver

Tell me,
what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Move mountains

A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves.

Anxiety

Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once.
Breathe. You're strong. You got this.

-Karen Salmanzohn

Someday someone

Someday someone is going to look at you with a light in their eyes you've never seen, they'll look at you like you're everything they've been looking for their entire lives. Wait for it.

Control

The only way
God can show us
He's in control
is to put us in
situations
we can't control.

Proof

Death was proof that Jesus was human.

Resurrection was proof that He is God.

Full of

The problem with
the world is that
the intelligent people
are full of doubt, while
the stupid people
are full of confidence.

A good woman

A good woman is hard to find,
easy to lose
and nearly impossible to replace.

God knows

Good reminder

God knows
Exactly what you need.
Who you need.
How much you need.
When you need it.
Trust Him.

More blessed

From Daily Bible Verse calendar

Acts 20:35
I have showed you all things, how that so laboring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

Heavenly vs. demonic wisdom

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

James 3:13
Heavenly Versus Demonic Wisdom
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom.

God is love

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

1 John 4:16
And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

His truths

The devil wants you to pay attention to your feelings,
Jesus wants you to pay attention to His truths.

Not fail

This is from a Bible verse, but I forgot which one

God is with her, she will not fail

The help

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

(As you recall, I also love it when a Bible verse has its own little "title")

Psalm 12:1-2
God the Help of Those Who Seek Him, A Song of Ascent
I will lift up my eyes to the hills,
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

Rejoice

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

(If you recall, I love Bible verses with exclamation points!)

Philippians 4:4

Rejoice in the Lord always.

Again I will say, rejoice!

Love yourself

You don't have to "love yourself" first in order to be worthy of love in return.
You are worthy of being loved, of being safe and well-cared for regardless of
how you feel about yourself.

Stop

by Tony Robbins

Stop being afraid
of what can go wrong.
Start being excited about
what can go right.

Old age

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Isaiah 46:4
Even to your old age,
I am He,
And even to gray hairs
I will carry you!
I have made, and I will bear;
Even I will carry,
And will deliver you.

Afraid

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid,
I put my trust in you.

Awesome things

by Toby Mac

Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow.

Land of uprightness

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

Psalm 143:10
Teach me to do Your will,
For You are my God,
Your Spirit is good.
Lead me in the land of the uprightness.

Strong?

Strong?
No, my dear,
I am far from it.
What you're seeing
is simply
a weak person
with a very
strong
God.

The dead shall live

Isaiah 21:19

Your dead shall live;
Together with my dead body they shall arise.
Awake and sing, you who dwell in dust;
For your dew is like the dew of herbs,
And the earth shall cast out the dead.

The broken

by Zachry K. Douglas

The broken will always be able to love harder than most.
Once you have been in the dark, you learn to appreciate everything that shines.

Write it

by Ralph Waldo Emerson

He said, "Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year. He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety. Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in. Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays."

The caterpillar

Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she began to fly.

Healing

by Toby Mac

HEALING TAKES TIME.

There is a reason the Lord
waited 22 years to reunite Joseph
and his brothers.

THE LESSONS WERE FOUND
IN THE WAITING.

Keep My word

Bible Gateway Verse of the Day

John 14:23
Jesus answered and said to him, "If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word, and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.

Trauma response

From one of the child loss sites

Feeling the need to
be busy all the time
is a trauma
response
and fear-based
distraction
from what
you'd be forced to
acknowledge and fear
if you slowed down.

My translation of this: Weekends