I started this blog soon after the death of my beautiful 17-year-old son, Hayden, as a way to deal with my grief. I titled it "Dear Hayden" because at first I wrote as if I was writing to him. My use of the word "dear" ended up being twofold: "used as an affectionate or friendly form of address" and "regarded with deep affection; cherished by someone." Many posts are saved quotes, song lyrics, Bible verses, poems, etc. with credit given to the actual authors as much as possible. Enjoy~
Friday, December 28, 2018
Begging you
Always remember while she's begging you to do right, there's a man out there begging her to let him try.
So loyal
Never thought I would quote Cardi B...
When Cardi B said, "I gave you more than I gave myself. So loyal to you that I betrayed myself." I felt that.
When Cardi B said, "I gave you more than I gave myself. So loyal to you that I betrayed myself." I felt that.
Don't have to fight
I realized I don't have to fight for a place in people's lives. If someone values me, they will keep a place in their heart for me.
Sleeping
Sleeping next to someone you love makes you fall asleep faster, reduces depression and helps you live longer.
Sometimes it's better
Sometimes it's better to just let things be, let people go, don't fight for closure, don't ask for explanations, don't chase answers and don't expect people to understand where you're coming from.
I hope
I hope you find someone who doesn't make you sad at night, someone who reminds you how much they love you every day, who laughs at your jokes and wants to listen to your music and genuinely wants to be with you and doesn't make you second guess their love for you.
Dear me
Dear me,
I am sorry...
I'm sorry that you tried so desperately to fix others, when your own hands were shaking. I'm sorry that I didn't give you enough time to heal, that I let you seal the wounds of everyone else whilst your own were bleeding. I'm sorry that there were days when smiling hurt but you forced yourself to laugh so that no one had to worry about you. I'm sorry that you gave all of your time and effort to people that didn't give the same amount back. I'm sorry that there were nights when you cried yourself to sleep and no one bothered to understand why. And I am so sorry that I did not love you, like you deserved to be loved.
Letter to myself.
I am sorry...
I'm sorry that you tried so desperately to fix others, when your own hands were shaking. I'm sorry that I didn't give you enough time to heal, that I let you seal the wounds of everyone else whilst your own were bleeding. I'm sorry that there were days when smiling hurt but you forced yourself to laugh so that no one had to worry about you. I'm sorry that you gave all of your time and effort to people that didn't give the same amount back. I'm sorry that there were nights when you cried yourself to sleep and no one bothered to understand why. And I am so sorry that I did not love you, like you deserved to be loved.
Letter to myself.
Girls like you
People don't forget girls like you. They try. But they won't ever forget what your love felt like.
Complicit
By Rebecca Davis
If we must suffer
at the hands of evildoers,
let it be
while we're standing against
the evil
and calling it for what it is.
Let it not be
while we're complicit,
pretending that evil is good.
Maybe it's time
Maybe it's time for the fighter to be fought for, for the holder to be held and for the lover to be loved.
Indestructible
Sometimes two
people find each
other with both
broken foundations,
and they build
together as a team
to make a
foundation that is
indestructible.
Right away
Pretty sure I've recorded this before...
Just because it doesn't happen right away doesn't mean it won't happen for you. Don't give up. Don't count yourself out. Don't feed the negative thoughts and fear that might pop up to make you doubt yourself. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep going. Your time is coming.
Just because it doesn't happen right away doesn't mean it won't happen for you. Don't give up. Don't count yourself out. Don't feed the negative thoughts and fear that might pop up to make you doubt yourself. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep going. Your time is coming.
Provoke you
People will
provoke you
until they
bring out your
ugly side, then
play victim
when you go
there.
Struggling too
When someone
helps you, and they are
struggling too, that's
not help that's
love.
-Luis
Always
Always be kind.
If you see someone falling
behind, walk beside them.
If someone is being ignored,
find a way to include them.
If someone has been
knocked down, lift them up.
Always remind people
of their worth.
Be who you needed
when you were going
through hard times.
Just one small act of
kindness could mean the
world to someone.
Shout out
Shout out to everyone making progress that no one recognizes because you never let anyone see your darkest moments. You've been silently winning battles and transforming yourself, be proud of every step you're making in the right direction. Keep going because you got this.
My note: God's "got this"
My note: God's "got this"
Takes
Death takes the body.
God takes the soul.
Our mind holds the memories.
Our heart keeps the love.
Our faith lets us know we will meet again.
God takes the soul.
Our mind holds the memories.
Our heart keeps the love.
Our faith lets us know we will meet again.
Used to getting hurt
When a girl is used to getting hurt, she won't know how it feels when a man starts to appreciate her, so she ends up pushing him away.
True or False?
True or False?
Break up
When a man wants a break-up, he starts finding faults and complaining about everything.
When a woman wants a break-up, she stops complaining and let's you do your s....
When a woman wants a break-up, she stops complaining and let's you do your s....
Your child forever
This was on 3 am thoughts. Encouraging...
Dear Lord,
As I come before you today
I humble myself to you and
your will for my life.
I am so thankful to be your child.
Thank you for always walking
with me holding my hand.
I love you more with
each passing day for you are
the air I breathe, my very life
depends on you Lord.
So here I am today just to say
Thanks and I love you,
Your child forever
Dear Lord,
As I come before you today
I humble myself to you and
your will for my life.
I am so thankful to be your child.
Thank you for always walking
with me holding my hand.
I love you more with
each passing day for you are
the air I breathe, my very life
depends on you Lord.
So here I am today just to say
Thanks and I love you,
Your child forever
Strong friendship
A strong friendship doesn't need daily conversation, doesn't always need togetherness, as long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part.
Turn their back
The hardest pill I had to swallow in 2018 was learning that no matter how good you could be to somebody, no matter how much you love them, that they can and will turn their back on you and there's absolutely nothing you can do but suck it up and keep moving forward.
Thursday, December 27, 2018
Blessed
Blessed are the weird people.
The poets and misfits
The artists, the writers and music makers
The dreamers and the outsiders
For they force us to
see the world differently.
The poets and misfits
The artists, the writers and music makers
The dreamers and the outsiders
For they force us to
see the world differently.
Nothing
Love means nothing
without action.
Trust means nothing
without proof. And
sorry means nothing
without change.
Toxic trait
My toxic trait?
I can have my heart ripped out, stomped
on and shove down my throat and I'd
still be there for that person if they
needed me.
Rejection
When someone rejects you
for whatever reason, that rejection
reflects their wants, not your
limitations, you are in no way defined
by the rejection, or the acceptance, of
anyone else. Your worth depends on
no one. And as hard as it can be to see
it as such, there is just as big a gift in
not connecting, with those who don't
see your value, as there is in
uniting with those who do.
Want
I want somebody who wants to go out with me and wants to spend time with me and wants to go adventuring and wants to listen to me talk about my day and enjoys who I am and who I want to be and I'll be the exact same way for them. That's what I want right now.
Put aside
Sometimes you
gotta put aside
what you feel for
them, and pay
attention to what
their actions are
saying they feel
for you.
Introverted
I used to think I was
introverted because I really
liked being alone but it turns
out I just like being at peace
and I am very extroverted
when I'm around people
who bring me peace.
Tingly feeling
That tingly feeling you get when you first start talking to a guy is your common sense leaving your body.
Amazing
Isn't it amazing how God brings the right people into your life at the right time. People who support, love and pray for you, regardless of your circumstances.
Great harm
By Charles M. Blow
One doesn't have to operate
with great malice to do
great harm. The absence of
empathy and understanding
are sufficient.
Damage
Narcissistic abuse does terrible damage...
But the worst damage is done when you begin to believe it.
Recovery begins when you realize it was all a lie.
But the worst damage is done when you begin to believe it.
Recovery begins when you realize it was all a lie.
Friday, December 21, 2018
Wounded people
From Flying Free
What do wounded and traumatized people need at first? They need to be accepted - just the way they are. They need safety. They need time to let their mind catch up with exactly what happened to them. They need time to process and face the realities that are really theirs. They need to admit the truth, feel what they are really feeling, and be where they really are. They need to feel safe enough to unburden their hearts, in order to come to grips with whatever is going on inside of them and then be able to "get it off their chest."
Getting it off their chest involves admitting that it happened, describing what it was, feeling their feelings, counting their losses, expressing the pent-up emotions, and grieving those losses. They need a place where they can freely, openly vent and discharge the emotional voltage that built up as a result. Their soul needs time to truly resolve its inner conflicts and heal the wounds. By patiently helping them do this, you learn to bear one another's burdens, for real. You're not just dismissing another's distress with shallow, religious lip service. Quick fix cliches and religious, magical wand-waving merely prove that we really don't know what people need to deal with their distress, let alone teach them how to care for their hearts.
-Taken from The Ultimate Journey
What do wounded and traumatized people need at first? They need to be accepted - just the way they are. They need safety. They need time to let their mind catch up with exactly what happened to them. They need time to process and face the realities that are really theirs. They need to admit the truth, feel what they are really feeling, and be where they really are. They need to feel safe enough to unburden their hearts, in order to come to grips with whatever is going on inside of them and then be able to "get it off their chest."
Getting it off their chest involves admitting that it happened, describing what it was, feeling their feelings, counting their losses, expressing the pent-up emotions, and grieving those losses. They need a place where they can freely, openly vent and discharge the emotional voltage that built up as a result. Their soul needs time to truly resolve its inner conflicts and heal the wounds. By patiently helping them do this, you learn to bear one another's burdens, for real. You're not just dismissing another's distress with shallow, religious lip service. Quick fix cliches and religious, magical wand-waving merely prove that we really don't know what people need to deal with their distress, let alone teach them how to care for their hearts.
-Taken from The Ultimate Journey
Thursday, December 20, 2018
Deserve better
Sometimes God doesn't give you what you think you want, not because you don't deserve it, but because you deserve better.
Remade
By Ursula K. LeGuin
Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made like bread; remade all the time, made new.
Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made like bread; remade all the time, made new.
Wednesday, December 19, 2018
Y
Sent this to K
I went to my psychiatrist yesterday and the advice she gave me applied to most of us. We need to take the "y" out of our alphabet. Good advice but hard to swallow.
I went to my psychiatrist yesterday and the advice she gave me applied to most of us. We need to take the "y" out of our alphabet. Good advice but hard to swallow.
Learned a lot
I've learned a lot this year.
I learned that things don't always
turn out the way you planned, or the
way you think they should. And I've
learned that there are things that
go wrong that don't always get fixed
or get put back together the way
they were before. I've learned that
some broken things stay broken, and
I've learned that you can get through
bad times and keep looking for
better ones, as long as you have
people who love you.
So many
So many men think
women want money, cars and gifts.
But the right woman wants a man's
time, effort, passion, honesty, loyalty,
smile, and him choosing to put
her as a priority.
Confidence
Confidence
is the ability to feel
beautiful, without
needing someone
to tell you.
-Mandy Hale
Clear
Let me be clear, my love
is unconditional, but
your presence in my life
is not. The moment that
you prove that your
value of me does not
measure up to my sense
of self-worth, I'll have no
problem unconditionally
loving the memory of
you and moving on.
is unconditional, but
your presence in my life
is not. The moment that
you prove that your
value of me does not
measure up to my sense
of self-worth, I'll have no
problem unconditionally
loving the memory of
you and moving on.
A year ago
If you know me
based on who I was a
year ago, you don't
know me at all.
My growth game is strong.
Allow me to
reintroduce myself.
Greatest version
By Steve Maraboli
I find the best way
to love someone is not
to change them, but
instead, help them
reveal the greatest
version of themselves.
Some doors
Some doors that God doesn't open for you is nothing more than divine protection. And others, the timing isn't right yet. Trust Him.
Before
BEFORE YOU DATE ME. You need to understand that I an DAMAGED, I get triggered easily, I have struggled with things, I won't talk to anyone, I'll shut you out, I'm not going to be able to trust you for a while because everyone has left, cheated, or chosen someone else.
Dangerously awesome
When you truly don't care what
anyone thinks of you, you have reached
a dangerously awesome level
of freedom.
Don't settle
No pressure...
One day you're going to come across a man that will worship the ground you walk on. Do not stop until you find that man. He will love and cherish every inch of you (personality, body, mind, etc.) and he will do everything in his power not to lose you. Don't settle for half-a.. men.
Thankful
I am thankful for
nights that turned into mornings,
friends that turned into family,
and dreams that turned into reality.
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
Lose yourself
Stop chasing after people and being the only one trying to fix everything. It's mentally and physically exhausting. You have to find peace with whoever comes and goes from your life. Don't be the only one putting in effort because you will lose yourself trying to save someone else.
Monday, December 17, 2018
18 year old kid
To the 18 year old kid I stopped on SR 10,
You're welcome. I'd like to believe that you were minutes away from creating an unspeakable Christmas tragedy when I stopped you. If not only killing yourself, you were well on your way to killing some innocent person who was minding their own business doing nothing else wrong but being in front of you.
You said you didn't realize how fast you were going. That's a lie. You may not realize when you're doing 45 in a 35 but you are fully aware of every mile per hour at 100. You realize it with every bump you hit. You realize it as you pass cars so fast the wind moves your car. You realize it every time you drift over the line and when you move the wheel the car reacts a lot quicker than you're used to. You absolutely realized it.
You were scared when I stopped you. You were visibly shaking and breathing hard. Unfortunately, you were scared one minute too late and for the wrong reason. You should have been scared that you were trying to kill yourself. I know you're invincible. I know that you can't even fathom your own death.
I can tell you dozens of stories of dead and broken 18-year-old bodies that I've pulled from cars. Broken bodies that I've found in front yards after crashes. Unrecognizable bodies. They thought they were invincible too. They weren't. They were gone so they missed the part where I had to tell their parents that they were dead. Part of your soul disappears every time you have to tell parents that their kid is dead.
I don't KNOW your parents, but I know them. I know that when you leave every day they say, "Be careful. Drive safe." Those aren't just words. That is the very last act of them pleading with you to come home safe. When they get a knock on the door, it's not, "Good afternoon, ma'am. Your 18-year-old son just had a massive heart attack." It's, "Can we sit down? Your son has been involved in a very serious crash. I'm so sorry. He's died." When you leave the house they know that, far and away, the best chance you have of dying that day is in that car. Sometimes you're the innocent person hit by someone with no regard for anyone else. Today you were the latter.
You seemed like a really nice kid who made a bad decision. I don't feel bad about this ticket at all. In fact, I'm proud of it. I hope you're paying it off for months and with every payment you think about how it wasn't worth it. I hope you slow down. I hope that when your mom tells you to "drive safe" you make a promise to her, and yourself, that you will. I hope you can envision me sitting in your kitchen telling your screaming mother that you have been killed.
Slow down. Please. You are not invincible. I promise.
You're welcome. I'd like to believe that you were minutes away from creating an unspeakable Christmas tragedy when I stopped you. If not only killing yourself, you were well on your way to killing some innocent person who was minding their own business doing nothing else wrong but being in front of you.
You said you didn't realize how fast you were going. That's a lie. You may not realize when you're doing 45 in a 35 but you are fully aware of every mile per hour at 100. You realize it with every bump you hit. You realize it as you pass cars so fast the wind moves your car. You realize it every time you drift over the line and when you move the wheel the car reacts a lot quicker than you're used to. You absolutely realized it.
You were scared when I stopped you. You were visibly shaking and breathing hard. Unfortunately, you were scared one minute too late and for the wrong reason. You should have been scared that you were trying to kill yourself. I know you're invincible. I know that you can't even fathom your own death.
I can tell you dozens of stories of dead and broken 18-year-old bodies that I've pulled from cars. Broken bodies that I've found in front yards after crashes. Unrecognizable bodies. They thought they were invincible too. They weren't. They were gone so they missed the part where I had to tell their parents that they were dead. Part of your soul disappears every time you have to tell parents that their kid is dead.
I don't KNOW your parents, but I know them. I know that when you leave every day they say, "Be careful. Drive safe." Those aren't just words. That is the very last act of them pleading with you to come home safe. When they get a knock on the door, it's not, "Good afternoon, ma'am. Your 18-year-old son just had a massive heart attack." It's, "Can we sit down? Your son has been involved in a very serious crash. I'm so sorry. He's died." When you leave the house they know that, far and away, the best chance you have of dying that day is in that car. Sometimes you're the innocent person hit by someone with no regard for anyone else. Today you were the latter.
You seemed like a really nice kid who made a bad decision. I don't feel bad about this ticket at all. In fact, I'm proud of it. I hope you're paying it off for months and with every payment you think about how it wasn't worth it. I hope you slow down. I hope that when your mom tells you to "drive safe" you make a promise to her, and yourself, that you will. I hope you can envision me sitting in your kitchen telling your screaming mother that you have been killed.
Slow down. Please. You are not invincible. I promise.
Stop fighting
She said -
The best thing I did was learn to stop fighting for someone who was ok with losing me.
The best thing I did was learn to stop fighting for someone who was ok with losing me.
Four candles
Four Candles
The first candle represents our grief.
The pain of losing you is intense.
It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.
This second candle represents our courage,
To confront our sorrow, to comfort each other,
To change our lives.
This third candle we light in your memory.
For the times we laughed. The times we cried.
The times we were angry with each other.
The silly things you did. The caring and joy you gave us.
This fourth candle we light for our love.
We light the candle that your light will always shine.
As we think of you each day and share you
memory with our family and friends.
We cherish the special place
in our hearts that will
always be reserved for you.
We thank you for the gift
your living brought to
each of us. We love you.
We remember you.
The first candle represents our grief.
The pain of losing you is intense.
It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.
This second candle represents our courage,
To confront our sorrow, to comfort each other,
To change our lives.
This third candle we light in your memory.
For the times we laughed. The times we cried.
The times we were angry with each other.
The silly things you did. The caring and joy you gave us.
This fourth candle we light for our love.
We light the candle that your light will always shine.
As we think of you each day and share you
memory with our family and friends.
We cherish the special place
in our hearts that will
always be reserved for you.
We thank you for the gift
your living brought to
each of us. We love you.
We remember you.
Fights
From Sarah McDugal
I once asked a very successful woman to share her secret. She smiled and said to me:
I started succeeding when I started leaving small fights for small fighters.
I stopped fighting those who gossiped about me...
I stopped fighting with my in-laws...
I stopped fighting for attention...
I stopped fighting to meet people's expectations of me...
I stopped fighting for my rights with inconsiderate people...
I stopped fighting to please everyone...
I stopped fighting to prove they were wrong about me...
I left such fights for those who have nothing else to fight...
And I started fighting for
my vision,
my dreams,
ideas and
destiny.
The day I gave up on small fights is the day I started becoming successful and so much more content.
Some fights are not worth your time...
Choose what you fight for wisely.
(Credit: Dana Ives)?
I once asked a very successful woman to share her secret. She smiled and said to me:
I started succeeding when I started leaving small fights for small fighters.
I stopped fighting those who gossiped about me...
I stopped fighting with my in-laws...
I stopped fighting for attention...
I stopped fighting to meet people's expectations of me...
I stopped fighting for my rights with inconsiderate people...
I stopped fighting to please everyone...
I stopped fighting to prove they were wrong about me...
I left such fights for those who have nothing else to fight...
And I started fighting for
my vision,
my dreams,
ideas and
destiny.
The day I gave up on small fights is the day I started becoming successful and so much more content.
Some fights are not worth your time...
Choose what you fight for wisely.
(Credit: Dana Ives)?
Dear everyone
From Flying Free
Dear everyone: Civics 101
Rule one - you don't need your pastor's or your elder's permission to report a crime to the proper authorities.
Rule two - this rule applies even when the crime takes place on church property.
Rule three - rule one applies even when the perpetrator is a member, volunteer, staff, or pastor of your church.
Rule four - Rule one applies even if the criminal is your spouse.
Rule five - rule one applies even if you haven't "followed the steps of Matthew 18." Matthew 18 isn't about criminal activity.
When crimes are committed, it is never a violation of mercy or biblical law to report those crimes to the proper authorities.
Hope this is helpful.
P.S. - anyone who tells you otherwise most likely has something to hide. When that is the case, remember what Paul said:
Romans 13:3-4
For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same; for it is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath upon the one who practices evil.
If your church leaders are afraid of the state, maybe it is time to ask why...
Dear everyone: Civics 101
Rule one - you don't need your pastor's or your elder's permission to report a crime to the proper authorities.
Rule two - this rule applies even when the crime takes place on church property.
Rule three - rule one applies even when the perpetrator is a member, volunteer, staff, or pastor of your church.
Rule four - Rule one applies even if the criminal is your spouse.
Rule five - rule one applies even if you haven't "followed the steps of Matthew 18." Matthew 18 isn't about criminal activity.
When crimes are committed, it is never a violation of mercy or biblical law to report those crimes to the proper authorities.
Hope this is helpful.
P.S. - anyone who tells you otherwise most likely has something to hide. When that is the case, remember what Paul said:
Romans 13:3-4
For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same; for it is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath upon the one who practices evil.
If your church leaders are afraid of the state, maybe it is time to ask why...
All I want
From Flying Free
I can't stand your religious meetings.
I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions.
I want nothing to do with your religion projects,
your pretentious slogans and goals.
I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes,
your public relations and image making.
I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
When was the last time you sang to me?
Do you know what I want?
I want justice - oceans of it.
I want fairness - rivers of it.
That's what I want. That's all I want.
Amos 5:21-24
The Message
I can't stand your religious meetings.
I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions.
I want nothing to do with your religion projects,
your pretentious slogans and goals.
I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes,
your public relations and image making.
I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.
When was the last time you sang to me?
Do you know what I want?
I want justice - oceans of it.
I want fairness - rivers of it.
That's what I want. That's all I want.
Amos 5:21-24
The Message
Likes you
If a man likes you, he will move mountains to be with you. He will call you, text you, let you know how important you are to him. You will never have to wonder when he is going to call, he will call more than he texts, he will call you beautiful or pretty instead of sexy or hot. He will tell you you are his world and do anything to let you know that and see that. Actions speak louder than words and his words will follow his actions. Anything less - it's b.s. and time to move the h. on.
Never apologize
Never apologize
for how much love
you have to give.
Just feel sorry
for those who didn't
want any of it.
Stay on purpose
When you stay on purpose and refuse to be discouraged by fear, you align with infinite self, in which all possibilities exist.
The truth is
The truth is, none of us are easy to date, deal with, or please all the time. We have our vices, attitudes, and way of doing things that make us unique. You won't like everything about somebody, it's impossible. This is life, and it isn't about finding the perfect person, there's no such thing. It isn't about living some happily-ever-after fairy tale. It's about finding someone you're willing to work for, and who is willing to work for you. It's simple, but yet so hard to achieve.
One day someone will
Pretty sure I've recorded this multiple times
One day someone will
walk into your life and get it
right where everyone else got it
wrong. One day you won't have to
wait for a call or a text back. One
day you won't be the only one
giving your all.
One day you'll finally meet
someone who wants to help you
grow in life. One day you'll finally
meet someone who isn't afraid to
give "love" another chance.
One day you'll finally meet
someone you can trust with
everything. One day you'll have
your best friend, your biggest
supporter and your teammate
all wrapped up into one person.
A good woman
A good woman doesn't want a Superman. She knows he doesn't exist. All she wants is a good man who can bring stability and consistency to her life. A man who understands her emotionally and whose presence can both calm her soul and light a fire in her spirit all at the same time. That's what she wants. That's what she needs.
Never stops
"It never stops hurting, does it?"
"What?"
"Giving someone the best of you and watching them choose someone else."
"What?"
"Giving someone the best of you and watching them choose someone else."
Silent
When a woman is silent, she is either overthinking, mad as hell, falling apart, crying inside, or all of the above.
Meet someone
Sometimes you meet someone, and it's so clear that the two of you, on some level, belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you're in love or partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don't know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.
Everyone
From Toby Mac
Everyone makes mistakes. Don't let that be the reason you give up on somebody.
Everyone makes mistakes. Don't let that be the reason you give up on somebody.
How to keep
How to keep a relationship"
Communicate. Talk about things, the good and bad. Build trusts. Be honest. Be faithful. Be there for one another. Leave the past to the past. Know that having arguments is normal. Know that you won't always be happy. Don't expect change. Appreciate the flaws. Appreciate each other. Become best friends. Lastly, love each other unconditionally.
Communicate. Talk about things, the good and bad. Build trusts. Be honest. Be faithful. Be there for one another. Leave the past to the past. Know that having arguments is normal. Know that you won't always be happy. Don't expect change. Appreciate the flaws. Appreciate each other. Become best friends. Lastly, love each other unconditionally.
Native American Prayer
I give you this, one thought to keep,
I am with you still, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on the ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush...
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone ~
I am with you still, in each new dawn.
Train your mind
You have to train your mind to be stronger than your emotions or else you'll lose yourself every time.
Purpose
At church this morning the pastor said something that stuck with me. He said, "Remember, no matter what you're going through, if God woke you up this morning, He's not finished with you. There's a purpose for your pain.
Losing people
Don't be afraid of losing people. Be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you.
Seashell heart
When I lean my ear against your seashell heart, I can hear an ocean of love roaring inside.
-John Mark Green
-John Mark Green
Fall
Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you. Who understands you even in the madness; someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. Fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight.
Love like that
The thought of this is so beautiful
Even after all this time, the Sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky.
Even after all this time, the Sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky.
Friday, December 14, 2018
Flourishes
From Flying Free
Why Abuse Flourishes in Some "Christian" Marriages (and Churches Too!)
My dad was complaining of stomach pain for several weeks. He went to the doctor several times before they finally realized what was really going on. He had lymphoma. Two years later, he was dead. I keep thinking of those months before he was diagnosed. Those painful months where different doctors kept misdiagnosing him with garden variety issues. All the while, an insidious cancer was growing silently and unseen in his abdomen - every day getting larger and stronger. It was the most critical time for it to be discovered, and yet that time came and went.
And then it was too late.
There is a cancer growing unseen and silent in the Church. It has embedded itself so strongly in the fabric of the church that many Christians believe it is part of the church itself. That without it, the church would be destroyed from the inside out.
But the opposite is true. This cancer is telling a lie about God (blaspheming), destroying the children of God, and creating a huge barrier in the spread of the gospel.
This cancer, like every cancer, is devilish and deadly.
When I was first waking up to the reality of my abusive first marriage, I still had no idea about the deep connection between my experience at home and what was being taught from the pulpit of my church. God would have to take me through some pretty severe fires before I could connect all those crazy dots.
But once I did, there was no going back. Once I could see it, I couldn't unsee it. I now strongly believe that any theology that teaches and promotes the power of one group of people (men) over another group of people (women)is contrary to the Word of God and the gospel of Jesus Christ. And the putrid fruit of power-over theology is the emotional, spiritual, physical, and financial abuse of vulnerable women and children.
In the past few decades, the evangelical church has divided into two general camps on this subject: complementarians and egalitarians.
Are you already checking out? Two big words. That's enough to make most of us glaze over and click away.
But that would be a mistake.
Because understanding those two big words and how they relate to your life is a critical part of your healing. Just like my dad couldn't get help for a cancer he didn't know he had, so we can't get help for something we don't understand.
I recently heard two sermons by Pastor Bryan Wilkerson of Grace Chapel in Massachusetts that spell out these two views and explain each view's biblical arguments for their perspective. It was such a succinct message, and I wanted to share it with everyone, but most folks are not going to take an hour to listen to two sermons online. So I decided to share his main points with you and link you to his sermons if you'd like the filled in version.
I promise to make this super simple. We are going to take an X-ray of the church and find out what's inside. Ready? Here we go.
WHO IS THE PATIENT?
"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unit of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call - one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 4:1-6
This is the church. The church is a unified family with a Father and brothers and sisters. We see here a healthy patient. A healthy church exemplifies humility, patience, love, unity, and hope. And God is our Father "over all." Do you see any indication that some of the siblings are to "power-over" the others based on gender, race, or socioeconomic status?
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 2:28
COMPLEMENTARIANISM SAYS:
"Men and women are created equal but are called to distinct and complementary roles in the church and the home with women in voluntary submission to the servant leadership of men. Women are free to teach and lead women and children but are restricted from authoritative teaching and leadership roles over men. In some environments women aren't allowed to lead in any way. In others they can have limited leadership under the unbrella of men."
Here's what complementarians would say about the following subjects. (Please note that there are only 5-6 passages of Scripture that have the potential to support a case for the power of men over women. And these verses are all difficult and historically debated passages.
WHAT ABOUT CREATION?
They focus on Genesis 2:7, 20-21:
-Adam was created first.
-Eve was formed from Adam.
-Eve was called Adam's "helper." (Ezer kenegdo is the Hebrew word used - and it doesn't mean "helper" in the English sense of the word, but we'll get to that in a minute.)
WHAT ABOUT THE FALL?
Eve was deceived and took over "leadership" by sinning first, and Adam sinned by relinquishing his leadership role and following her lead. (The "leadership role" idea is read into the text.)
WHAT ABOUT THE OLD TESTAMENT AND THE WOMEN WHO HELD LEADERSHIP ROLES?
These women are the exceptions that prove the rule (no women in leadership positions over men).
WHAT ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO PLAYED ROLES IN THE LIFE OF CHRIST?
Jesus didn't choose any women to be disciples.
WHAT ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO PLAYED LEADERSHIP ROLES IN THE EARLY CHURCH?
There are no examples of or instruction for a woman serving as an elder.
Teaching roles were informal and remedial rather than authoritative.
WHAT ABOUT GALATIANS 3:28 (SEE VERSE ABOVE)?
All believers share fully and equally in the blessings of salvation. But that is where the equality stops.
WHAT ABOUT 1 CORINTHIANS 11:3 "BUT I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE HEAD OF EVERY MAN IS CHRIST, THE HEAD OF A WIFE IS HER HUSBAND, AND THE HEAD OF CHRIST IS GOD."
This is affirmation of a divine order in which men have authority over women.
WHAT ABOUT 1 TIMOTHY 2:12 "I DO NOT PERMIT A WOMAN TO TEACH OR TO HAVE AUTHORITY OVER A MAN, SHE MUST BE SILENT?"
This is a universal prohibition against women teaching or leading men.
Women are not qualified by virtue of their gender.
WHAT ABOUT 1 TIMOTHY 3:2 "NOW THE OVERSEER MUST BE ABOVE REPROACH, THE HUSBAND OF BUT ONE WIFE..."
Elders should be men.
EGALITARIANISM SAYS:
"Men and women are not only equal in creation, but in calling, and are free to exercise their God-given gifts in the church and the home in any role for which they are called and qualified in an attitude of mutual respect and submission.
Both men and women are free to serve in any capacity for which they are called and qualified, including senior teaching and leadership roles."
Here's what egalitarians would say about the following subjects.
WHAT ABOUT CREATION?
They focus on Genesis 1:27-28
-Both men and women reflect the divine image.
-Both share equally in the divine commission.
-There is no hierarchy explicit in Genesis 1 or 2.
-Helper (ezer kenegdo) means warrior and is a Hebrew word mostly used in the Old Testament to describe God and the strong ways He "helps" or "rescues" His people. It's a battle word. It is not the mamsy pamsy meaning of "helper" we have in the English language. Go "help" your mommy make breakfast." No. "She rescued her people using wisdom and strength." Yes.
WHAT ABOUT THE FALL?
Both Adam and Eve were equally deceived.
Eve wasn't qualified to lead in this particular instance NOT because she was a woman, but because she didn't receive the instructions from God. Adam did. (Egalitarians believe both men and women need to be qualified to lead. Their leadership is based on gifting and qualifications. Not gender.)
WHAT ABOUT THE OLD TESTAMENT AND THE WOMEN WHO HELD LEADERSHIP ROLES?
These women are the exceptions that prove there is no rule - God wouldn't have raised up gifted and qualified female leaders if it violated His vision for humanity - he could have just as easily only raised up male leaders.
WHAT ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO PLAYED ROLES IN THE LIFE OF CHRIST?
Jesus stretched the culture as much as it would bear. To select female disciples would have been morally and culturally unacceptable.
He invited women to follow him, serve in his ministry, and be the first witnesses to his resurrection.
Jesus didn't choose any Gentiles to be His disciples either, but later on they figured into the growth and spread of the church.
WHAT ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO PLAYED LEADERSHIP ROLES IN THE EARLY CHURCH?
The culture would not bear a woman in an elder role at that time in history. Paul doesn't call for the abolition of slavery either for the exact same reason - the culture could not tolerate that kind of sudden transformation. BUT...Paul lays down principles that would later lead to the abolition of slavery. Likewise, He laid down principles that would later lead to the full inclusion of both male and female in the leadership of the church and the spread of the gospel.
Women filled formative teaching and leadership roles - Lydia, Priscilla, Phoebe.
WHAT ABOUT GALATIANS 3:28 (SEE VERSE ABOVE)?
This verse abolishes all distinctions in the body of Christ based on race, social status, or gender.
WHAT ABOUT 1 CORINTHIANS 11:3 "BUT I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE HEAD OF EVERY MAN IS CHRIST, THE HEAD OF A WIFE IS HER HUSBAND, AND THE HEAD OF CHRIST IS GOD."
This verse refers to husbands and wives (translation is wrong).
WHAT ABOUT 1 TIMOTHY 2:12 "I DO NOT PERMIT A WOMAN TO TEACH OR TO HAVE AUTHORITY OVER A MAN, SHE MUST BE SILENT?"
This is a situational prohibition (will get to this in a minute).
Unqualified people should not teach and have authority. But their lack of qualification should have nothing to do with their gender.
WHAT ABOUT 1 TIMOTHY 3:2 "NOW THE OVERSEER MUST BE ABOVE REPROACH, THE HUSBAND OF BUT ONE WIFE..."
Elders should be faithful and monogamous regardless of their gender. This is a principle, and it should be applied to the church back then which was born into a patriarchal culture. This is not a statement of what gender is qualified to be an elder for all of history.
JOURNEY FROM COMPLEMENTARIANISM TO EGALITARIANISM
In Pastor Wilkerson's second sermon, he tells the story of how he went from being a die-hard complementarian to having egalitarian views. It's a great story, and if you've got some time, I encourage you to hear the whole thing.
But if you want the short version, here are some things he noticed over the years that bothered him about the inconsistencies of complementarianism and how it played itself out in real life.
-He noticed women were allowed to lead and teach as missionaries overseas, but not here in the U.S. So women were allowed to teach Asian, African, and Latin American men - but not white men? That felt racist to him. (Because it is.)
-A female professor had a huge impact on his life. Why was she allowed to influence his life through her teaching as a professor, but not influence the lives of men and women as a teacher in a church setting?
-He realized that fellow female students with incredible gifts would never be able to use those gifts in the church of Jesus Christ.
-He served with women on the boards of several organizations and appreciated their wisdom and perspective. But these same women were not allowed to serve on church boards because they were female.
-Did it make sense to expect that only men could provide insight and leadership for a church that was half female?
-When he had a daughter of his own, he realized God could use her gifts in the secular world but never in the church.
As a complementarian he was afraid of what might happen if women were allowed to lead beside men in the Church of Jesus Christ.
Now he is afraid of what might happen if they don't.
He goes on to explain the THREE BIG FACTORS that changed his mind about all of this.
1. THE BIG PICTURE SCRIPTURE GIVES US
I actually write about this exact thing in my new book.
Complementarianism depends on a certain interpretation of a few isolated texts (see above). But Wilkerson points out that we need to interpret isolated texts in light of the WHOLE counsel of God - and difficult texts in light of clearer ones.
Throughout Scripture we see that God's vision for men and women is that they are created equally and share equally in His image and purpose for His creation. We are brothers and sisters. Not rivals. We are a partnership of equals. There is no power-over. There is no hierarchy.
Hierarchy is the curse in Genesis 3. It's a curse to be corrected, not a pattern to be followed. He goes into more detail here about how this looks as far as key women playing roles in God's redemptive plan, how Jesus affirmed, taught, and empowered women, how the Holy Spirit was given to both men and women at Pentecost, and how women helped lead the early church.
The trajectory of God's purpose in history is toward peace and unity of all people regardless of gender, race, or social status.
2. CONTEXT
The 3-5 texts used by complementarians to promote power over women SEEM to restrict women from teaching and leading. But as Wilkerson says, if we are going to tell HALF the church they can't use their leadership gifts, we better be reading those texts right.
We need to read them in the context from which they were written.
He takes the most difficult text, 1 Timothy 2, and examines it more closely.
Verse one: "I urge them, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgiving be made for everyone - for kings and all those in authority..."
Is God saying we should have kings? This verse was used in history to say that God ordained monarchy to be the proper form of government. But now we understand why it was written this way (because THEY HAD KINGS when this was written) - and we apply the principles today accordingly.
Verse eight: "I want men everywhere to lift holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing."
Does Paul only want men to pray? Why didn't he mention women? CONTEXT! Men were doing more arguing and fighting that praying, BUT we know from the whole Bible that God wants women to pray too. Also, this verse is not saying men need to lift up their hands when they pray. That's just how they did it back then. Get it?
Verse nine: "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes..."
Do we wear jewelry? Clothes that cost a lot of money? CONTEXT! This verse means that we dress in moderation, and it applies to both men and women.
Verse eleven: "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent."
-But Paul permitted Priscilla to teach and even correct the preacher Apollos.
-In Corinth Paul taught that women could pray and prophesy in church.
-Paul told the church in Rome to honor Phoebe, a deacon, and Junia, an apostle.
So this verse contradicts other Scriptures. That means something must be going on in this particular context.
Here's what it was: there was a feminized, sexualized view of spirituality in Ephesus. They worshiped Diana. In this false teaching, women were superior to men spiritually. Also, in this culture, most women had no formal education or opportunities to lead. The Greek word used here for "authority" is the only time it's used in the New Testament. Outside the New Testament this word means a domineering kind of authority.
So the instruction here is that as new followers of Christ, women (under the influence of the religion there) should not usurp (grab for) authority over men. They weren't qualified - not because of their gender, but because they had very few accepted opportunities to be trained.
So the principle we apply to the church today is that qualified teachers (regardless of gender) should not usurp their authority (grab for it) or misuse their masculinity or femininity when they teach.
Again, he goes into more detail in his message, and I encourage you to listen to it.
3. HISTORY OF THE CHURCH
Toward the very end he talks about all the women throughout the history of the church of Jesus Christ who have effectively led the church and spread the gospel. He points out that it is a relatively new development in this last century that the church has cut off women at the knees and placed them at a disadvantage.
"The evangelical community has an exceptionally substantial and sustained history of affirming women in public ministry...When evangelicals have prioritized the gospel and the Bible, this has often led them to affirm women in public ministry."
Timothy Larsen
So there you have it. The differences between two views of how men and women should relate as children of God. One view is power-over and the other view is unity and equality. Seems like a no-brainer to me, but I AM just a woman, after all.
May the church of Jesus Christ wake up to see how they have blasphemed God and stunted the growth of the church in exchange for power over other human beings. It is this very attitude and belief system that perpetuates abuse on women and causes the world to turn away from the Savior who loves them.
Why Abuse Flourishes in Some "Christian" Marriages (and Churches Too!)
My dad was complaining of stomach pain for several weeks. He went to the doctor several times before they finally realized what was really going on. He had lymphoma. Two years later, he was dead. I keep thinking of those months before he was diagnosed. Those painful months where different doctors kept misdiagnosing him with garden variety issues. All the while, an insidious cancer was growing silently and unseen in his abdomen - every day getting larger and stronger. It was the most critical time for it to be discovered, and yet that time came and went.
And then it was too late.
There is a cancer growing unseen and silent in the Church. It has embedded itself so strongly in the fabric of the church that many Christians believe it is part of the church itself. That without it, the church would be destroyed from the inside out.
But the opposite is true. This cancer is telling a lie about God (blaspheming), destroying the children of God, and creating a huge barrier in the spread of the gospel.
This cancer, like every cancer, is devilish and deadly.
When I was first waking up to the reality of my abusive first marriage, I still had no idea about the deep connection between my experience at home and what was being taught from the pulpit of my church. God would have to take me through some pretty severe fires before I could connect all those crazy dots.
But once I did, there was no going back. Once I could see it, I couldn't unsee it. I now strongly believe that any theology that teaches and promotes the power of one group of people (men) over another group of people (women)is contrary to the Word of God and the gospel of Jesus Christ. And the putrid fruit of power-over theology is the emotional, spiritual, physical, and financial abuse of vulnerable women and children.
In the past few decades, the evangelical church has divided into two general camps on this subject: complementarians and egalitarians.
Are you already checking out? Two big words. That's enough to make most of us glaze over and click away.
But that would be a mistake.
Because understanding those two big words and how they relate to your life is a critical part of your healing. Just like my dad couldn't get help for a cancer he didn't know he had, so we can't get help for something we don't understand.
I recently heard two sermons by Pastor Bryan Wilkerson of Grace Chapel in Massachusetts that spell out these two views and explain each view's biblical arguments for their perspective. It was such a succinct message, and I wanted to share it with everyone, but most folks are not going to take an hour to listen to two sermons online. So I decided to share his main points with you and link you to his sermons if you'd like the filled in version.
I promise to make this super simple. We are going to take an X-ray of the church and find out what's inside. Ready? Here we go.
WHO IS THE PATIENT?
"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unit of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit - just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call - one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 4:1-6
This is the church. The church is a unified family with a Father and brothers and sisters. We see here a healthy patient. A healthy church exemplifies humility, patience, love, unity, and hope. And God is our Father "over all." Do you see any indication that some of the siblings are to "power-over" the others based on gender, race, or socioeconomic status?
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 2:28
COMPLEMENTARIANISM SAYS:
"Men and women are created equal but are called to distinct and complementary roles in the church and the home with women in voluntary submission to the servant leadership of men. Women are free to teach and lead women and children but are restricted from authoritative teaching and leadership roles over men. In some environments women aren't allowed to lead in any way. In others they can have limited leadership under the unbrella of men."
Here's what complementarians would say about the following subjects. (Please note that there are only 5-6 passages of Scripture that have the potential to support a case for the power of men over women. And these verses are all difficult and historically debated passages.
WHAT ABOUT CREATION?
They focus on Genesis 2:7, 20-21:
-Adam was created first.
-Eve was formed from Adam.
-Eve was called Adam's "helper." (Ezer kenegdo is the Hebrew word used - and it doesn't mean "helper" in the English sense of the word, but we'll get to that in a minute.)
WHAT ABOUT THE FALL?
Eve was deceived and took over "leadership" by sinning first, and Adam sinned by relinquishing his leadership role and following her lead. (The "leadership role" idea is read into the text.)
WHAT ABOUT THE OLD TESTAMENT AND THE WOMEN WHO HELD LEADERSHIP ROLES?
These women are the exceptions that prove the rule (no women in leadership positions over men).
WHAT ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO PLAYED ROLES IN THE LIFE OF CHRIST?
Jesus didn't choose any women to be disciples.
WHAT ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO PLAYED LEADERSHIP ROLES IN THE EARLY CHURCH?
There are no examples of or instruction for a woman serving as an elder.
Teaching roles were informal and remedial rather than authoritative.
WHAT ABOUT GALATIANS 3:28 (SEE VERSE ABOVE)?
All believers share fully and equally in the blessings of salvation. But that is where the equality stops.
WHAT ABOUT 1 CORINTHIANS 11:3 "BUT I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE HEAD OF EVERY MAN IS CHRIST, THE HEAD OF A WIFE IS HER HUSBAND, AND THE HEAD OF CHRIST IS GOD."
This is affirmation of a divine order in which men have authority over women.
WHAT ABOUT 1 TIMOTHY 2:12 "I DO NOT PERMIT A WOMAN TO TEACH OR TO HAVE AUTHORITY OVER A MAN, SHE MUST BE SILENT?"
This is a universal prohibition against women teaching or leading men.
Women are not qualified by virtue of their gender.
WHAT ABOUT 1 TIMOTHY 3:2 "NOW THE OVERSEER MUST BE ABOVE REPROACH, THE HUSBAND OF BUT ONE WIFE..."
Elders should be men.
EGALITARIANISM SAYS:
"Men and women are not only equal in creation, but in calling, and are free to exercise their God-given gifts in the church and the home in any role for which they are called and qualified in an attitude of mutual respect and submission.
Both men and women are free to serve in any capacity for which they are called and qualified, including senior teaching and leadership roles."
Here's what egalitarians would say about the following subjects.
WHAT ABOUT CREATION?
They focus on Genesis 1:27-28
-Both men and women reflect the divine image.
-Both share equally in the divine commission.
-There is no hierarchy explicit in Genesis 1 or 2.
-Helper (ezer kenegdo) means warrior and is a Hebrew word mostly used in the Old Testament to describe God and the strong ways He "helps" or "rescues" His people. It's a battle word. It is not the mamsy pamsy meaning of "helper" we have in the English language. Go "help" your mommy make breakfast." No. "She rescued her people using wisdom and strength." Yes.
WHAT ABOUT THE FALL?
Both Adam and Eve were equally deceived.
Eve wasn't qualified to lead in this particular instance NOT because she was a woman, but because she didn't receive the instructions from God. Adam did. (Egalitarians believe both men and women need to be qualified to lead. Their leadership is based on gifting and qualifications. Not gender.)
WHAT ABOUT THE OLD TESTAMENT AND THE WOMEN WHO HELD LEADERSHIP ROLES?
These women are the exceptions that prove there is no rule - God wouldn't have raised up gifted and qualified female leaders if it violated His vision for humanity - he could have just as easily only raised up male leaders.
WHAT ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO PLAYED ROLES IN THE LIFE OF CHRIST?
Jesus stretched the culture as much as it would bear. To select female disciples would have been morally and culturally unacceptable.
He invited women to follow him, serve in his ministry, and be the first witnesses to his resurrection.
Jesus didn't choose any Gentiles to be His disciples either, but later on they figured into the growth and spread of the church.
WHAT ABOUT THE WOMEN WHO PLAYED LEADERSHIP ROLES IN THE EARLY CHURCH?
The culture would not bear a woman in an elder role at that time in history. Paul doesn't call for the abolition of slavery either for the exact same reason - the culture could not tolerate that kind of sudden transformation. BUT...Paul lays down principles that would later lead to the abolition of slavery. Likewise, He laid down principles that would later lead to the full inclusion of both male and female in the leadership of the church and the spread of the gospel.
Women filled formative teaching and leadership roles - Lydia, Priscilla, Phoebe.
WHAT ABOUT GALATIANS 3:28 (SEE VERSE ABOVE)?
This verse abolishes all distinctions in the body of Christ based on race, social status, or gender.
WHAT ABOUT 1 CORINTHIANS 11:3 "BUT I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE HEAD OF EVERY MAN IS CHRIST, THE HEAD OF A WIFE IS HER HUSBAND, AND THE HEAD OF CHRIST IS GOD."
This verse refers to husbands and wives (translation is wrong).
WHAT ABOUT 1 TIMOTHY 2:12 "I DO NOT PERMIT A WOMAN TO TEACH OR TO HAVE AUTHORITY OVER A MAN, SHE MUST BE SILENT?"
This is a situational prohibition (will get to this in a minute).
Unqualified people should not teach and have authority. But their lack of qualification should have nothing to do with their gender.
WHAT ABOUT 1 TIMOTHY 3:2 "NOW THE OVERSEER MUST BE ABOVE REPROACH, THE HUSBAND OF BUT ONE WIFE..."
Elders should be faithful and monogamous regardless of their gender. This is a principle, and it should be applied to the church back then which was born into a patriarchal culture. This is not a statement of what gender is qualified to be an elder for all of history.
JOURNEY FROM COMPLEMENTARIANISM TO EGALITARIANISM
In Pastor Wilkerson's second sermon, he tells the story of how he went from being a die-hard complementarian to having egalitarian views. It's a great story, and if you've got some time, I encourage you to hear the whole thing.
But if you want the short version, here are some things he noticed over the years that bothered him about the inconsistencies of complementarianism and how it played itself out in real life.
-He noticed women were allowed to lead and teach as missionaries overseas, but not here in the U.S. So women were allowed to teach Asian, African, and Latin American men - but not white men? That felt racist to him. (Because it is.)
-A female professor had a huge impact on his life. Why was she allowed to influence his life through her teaching as a professor, but not influence the lives of men and women as a teacher in a church setting?
-He realized that fellow female students with incredible gifts would never be able to use those gifts in the church of Jesus Christ.
-He served with women on the boards of several organizations and appreciated their wisdom and perspective. But these same women were not allowed to serve on church boards because they were female.
-Did it make sense to expect that only men could provide insight and leadership for a church that was half female?
-When he had a daughter of his own, he realized God could use her gifts in the secular world but never in the church.
As a complementarian he was afraid of what might happen if women were allowed to lead beside men in the Church of Jesus Christ.
Now he is afraid of what might happen if they don't.
He goes on to explain the THREE BIG FACTORS that changed his mind about all of this.
1. THE BIG PICTURE SCRIPTURE GIVES US
I actually write about this exact thing in my new book.
Complementarianism depends on a certain interpretation of a few isolated texts (see above). But Wilkerson points out that we need to interpret isolated texts in light of the WHOLE counsel of God - and difficult texts in light of clearer ones.
Throughout Scripture we see that God's vision for men and women is that they are created equally and share equally in His image and purpose for His creation. We are brothers and sisters. Not rivals. We are a partnership of equals. There is no power-over. There is no hierarchy.
Hierarchy is the curse in Genesis 3. It's a curse to be corrected, not a pattern to be followed. He goes into more detail here about how this looks as far as key women playing roles in God's redemptive plan, how Jesus affirmed, taught, and empowered women, how the Holy Spirit was given to both men and women at Pentecost, and how women helped lead the early church.
The trajectory of God's purpose in history is toward peace and unity of all people regardless of gender, race, or social status.
2. CONTEXT
The 3-5 texts used by complementarians to promote power over women SEEM to restrict women from teaching and leading. But as Wilkerson says, if we are going to tell HALF the church they can't use their leadership gifts, we better be reading those texts right.
We need to read them in the context from which they were written.
He takes the most difficult text, 1 Timothy 2, and examines it more closely.
Verse one: "I urge them, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgiving be made for everyone - for kings and all those in authority..."
Is God saying we should have kings? This verse was used in history to say that God ordained monarchy to be the proper form of government. But now we understand why it was written this way (because THEY HAD KINGS when this was written) - and we apply the principles today accordingly.
Verse eight: "I want men everywhere to lift holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing."
Does Paul only want men to pray? Why didn't he mention women? CONTEXT! Men were doing more arguing and fighting that praying, BUT we know from the whole Bible that God wants women to pray too. Also, this verse is not saying men need to lift up their hands when they pray. That's just how they did it back then. Get it?
Verse nine: "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes..."
Do we wear jewelry? Clothes that cost a lot of money? CONTEXT! This verse means that we dress in moderation, and it applies to both men and women.
Verse eleven: "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent."
-But Paul permitted Priscilla to teach and even correct the preacher Apollos.
-In Corinth Paul taught that women could pray and prophesy in church.
-Paul told the church in Rome to honor Phoebe, a deacon, and Junia, an apostle.
So this verse contradicts other Scriptures. That means something must be going on in this particular context.
Here's what it was: there was a feminized, sexualized view of spirituality in Ephesus. They worshiped Diana. In this false teaching, women were superior to men spiritually. Also, in this culture, most women had no formal education or opportunities to lead. The Greek word used here for "authority" is the only time it's used in the New Testament. Outside the New Testament this word means a domineering kind of authority.
So the instruction here is that as new followers of Christ, women (under the influence of the religion there) should not usurp (grab for) authority over men. They weren't qualified - not because of their gender, but because they had very few accepted opportunities to be trained.
So the principle we apply to the church today is that qualified teachers (regardless of gender) should not usurp their authority (grab for it) or misuse their masculinity or femininity when they teach.
Again, he goes into more detail in his message, and I encourage you to listen to it.
3. HISTORY OF THE CHURCH
Toward the very end he talks about all the women throughout the history of the church of Jesus Christ who have effectively led the church and spread the gospel. He points out that it is a relatively new development in this last century that the church has cut off women at the knees and placed them at a disadvantage.
"The evangelical community has an exceptionally substantial and sustained history of affirming women in public ministry...When evangelicals have prioritized the gospel and the Bible, this has often led them to affirm women in public ministry."
Timothy Larsen
So there you have it. The differences between two views of how men and women should relate as children of God. One view is power-over and the other view is unity and equality. Seems like a no-brainer to me, but I AM just a woman, after all.
May the church of Jesus Christ wake up to see how they have blasphemed God and stunted the growth of the church in exchange for power over other human beings. It is this very attitude and belief system that perpetuates abuse on women and causes the world to turn away from the Savior who loves them.
Supposed to
A man is supposed to come into a woman's life and take some pressure and problems off her hands, not come and cause them.
Thursday, December 13, 2018
True friends
K posted this on FB last week
True friends are those rare people who come to find you in dark places and lead you back to the light.
True friends are those rare people who come to find you in dark places and lead you back to the light.
Single too long
People who have been single for too long are the hardest to love, because they have become so used to being single, independent, and self-sufficient that it takes something extraordinary to convince them that they need you in their life.
My note: Here's to something extraordinary...
My note: Here's to something extraordinary...
Quiet
I hate when people ask me, "Why are you so quiet?" Because I am. That's how I function. I don't ask others, "Why are you so noisy? Why do you talk so much?" It's rude.
It's time
When God shows you it's time to let someone go and you refuse to, He will allow the person to hurt you to the point you have no choice but to let go.
Nothing
Nothing is sexier than a man who admits he wants you and does anything and everything he can, to have and to keep you...
Single people
By Keanu Reeves
Someone told me the other day that he felt bad for single people because they are lonely all the time. I told him that's not true. I'm single and I don't feel lonely. I take myself out to eat, I buy myself clothes. I have great times by myself. Once you know how to take care of yourself company becomes an option and not a necessity.
Someone told me the other day that he felt bad for single people because they are lonely all the time. I told him that's not true. I'm single and I don't feel lonely. I take myself out to eat, I buy myself clothes. I have great times by myself. Once you know how to take care of yourself company becomes an option and not a necessity.
Break
Sometimes you need to take a break from everyone and spend time alone, to experience, appreciate, and love yourself.
Best thing
Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep your mouth shut and your eyes open. The truth always comes out in the end.
Important
It's important to do what's best for you, whether people approve of it or not. This is your life. You know what's good for you, and remember, self-love takes strength.
Harder
It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's harder to give up when you know it's everything you want.
Same time
Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It's the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It's wanting friends but hating socializing. It's wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It's caring about everything then caring about nothing. It's feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb.
Beautiful thing
What a beautiful thing it is, to be able to stand tall and say, "I fell apart, and I survived."
Partner not a project
By Julia Roberts
Women, you are not rehabilitation centers for badly raised men...It is not your job to fix him, change him, parent him, or raise him. You want a partner not a project.
Women, you are not rehabilitation centers for badly raised men...It is not your job to fix him, change him, parent him, or raise him. You want a partner not a project.
Narcissistic-types
From Flying Free
A friend wrote:
I've been watching Les Carter, a counselor, on YouTube, talk about trying to have a relationship with the narcissistic-type person. He makes the point that a narcissistic-type person will not be honest about who they really are or what they really feel.
Everything they do is more transactional than relational, having objectives and goals in mind to accomplish. And their objectives and goals usually involve maintaining a certain persona and maintaining a certain amount of power and control in order to accomplish their objectives and goals.
They aren't listening or watching or interacting or connecting with people at a level of awareness or curiosity for everyone's identity and gifts and purposes, which they might cooperate with if they were "awake" to others.
A narcissistic-type person often likes and "loves", or dislikes and hates you according to whether or not and how much you will affirm and acquiesce to their persona and plans. They make life very unpleasant if you differ or disagree or delineate from them. You will likely be shamed or guilted or devalued or dismissed - in body language or direct words or slander behind your back.
You learn it is not emotionally or psychologically or physically or reputationally safe to be yourself, to share your thinking or feeling, or to act on these around an n-type person. You feel you often have to "hide" yourself for your own safety, or even for the safety of children or of others around you. This is a way an n-type person sometimes punishes you and makes you think twice about the cost to yourself or innocent others if you choose to stand in who you are and what you believe to be in Christ.
You pray for wisdom! You realize that hiding yourself, and being coerced into "smiling" and being "appreciative" and "grateful" and "reasonable" and going along with the narcissistic-type person damages your own and others' conscience and self-respect. And it enables and entitles a narcissistic-type person to go on self-deceived and/or disrespecting others.
Sometimes the mental and emotional stress of keeping self and others safe in heart and soul and body from a narcissistic-type person, causes the person around the n-type person just to disassociate fro their own real thoughts and feelings. They need a break from the weariness of the continual mental and emotional games and work necessary to keep "safe."
And, during this wearying work, you may have hoped or dared to search for some spark of enduring humanity in the narcissistic-type person, some human connection and sanity. They you get tricked by them only "mimicking" humanity! Time and behavior revealed they were working only to get what they wanted - not to really care about another who is made-in-the-image-of-God.
Long story short, it's very difficult, if not impossible, to live an up-front and honest life, a non-anxious, non-guarded, non-calculated life with a narcissistic-type person.
And this is heartbreaking for the people around an n-type person...and for the n-type person themself...so, if a person with narcissism has to feel to heal, maybe separation can crack the hard shell of pretense that years of trying to love and connect hasn't.
But whether separation helps an n-type or not, I think it may help to be able to live more honestly, in a way where there is no need to stuff away feeling and ability to participate in a less encumbered way in sharing the Lord...or is it sometimes God's will to go down in flames right in a hard place with flying arrows and personality-twisting manipulations all around? Separation may not stop the attack of the enemy. It may increase attacks and hurt to others, and continue until death.
I confess, I imagine a freedom in separation from an n-type person...and it isn't just for righteous reasons...probably really dreaming of feeling free of the wearying mental work of always being guarded...and being free of being in an environment where a significant person doesn't even really know you or want to know you. But, still, they keep maintaining a superficial or shallow connection of "lunch dates" and talk about "deep topics" that still avoid personal-ness. It's insidious, covert craziness. Dreaming of freedom from it is torturous...for I fear freedom may not be really freedom, but would bring worse trouble for innocent ones.
A friend wrote:
I've been watching Les Carter, a counselor, on YouTube, talk about trying to have a relationship with the narcissistic-type person. He makes the point that a narcissistic-type person will not be honest about who they really are or what they really feel.
Everything they do is more transactional than relational, having objectives and goals in mind to accomplish. And their objectives and goals usually involve maintaining a certain persona and maintaining a certain amount of power and control in order to accomplish their objectives and goals.
They aren't listening or watching or interacting or connecting with people at a level of awareness or curiosity for everyone's identity and gifts and purposes, which they might cooperate with if they were "awake" to others.
A narcissistic-type person often likes and "loves", or dislikes and hates you according to whether or not and how much you will affirm and acquiesce to their persona and plans. They make life very unpleasant if you differ or disagree or delineate from them. You will likely be shamed or guilted or devalued or dismissed - in body language or direct words or slander behind your back.
You learn it is not emotionally or psychologically or physically or reputationally safe to be yourself, to share your thinking or feeling, or to act on these around an n-type person. You feel you often have to "hide" yourself for your own safety, or even for the safety of children or of others around you. This is a way an n-type person sometimes punishes you and makes you think twice about the cost to yourself or innocent others if you choose to stand in who you are and what you believe to be in Christ.
You pray for wisdom! You realize that hiding yourself, and being coerced into "smiling" and being "appreciative" and "grateful" and "reasonable" and going along with the narcissistic-type person damages your own and others' conscience and self-respect. And it enables and entitles a narcissistic-type person to go on self-deceived and/or disrespecting others.
Sometimes the mental and emotional stress of keeping self and others safe in heart and soul and body from a narcissistic-type person, causes the person around the n-type person just to disassociate fro their own real thoughts and feelings. They need a break from the weariness of the continual mental and emotional games and work necessary to keep "safe."
And, during this wearying work, you may have hoped or dared to search for some spark of enduring humanity in the narcissistic-type person, some human connection and sanity. They you get tricked by them only "mimicking" humanity! Time and behavior revealed they were working only to get what they wanted - not to really care about another who is made-in-the-image-of-God.
Long story short, it's very difficult, if not impossible, to live an up-front and honest life, a non-anxious, non-guarded, non-calculated life with a narcissistic-type person.
And this is heartbreaking for the people around an n-type person...and for the n-type person themself...so, if a person with narcissism has to feel to heal, maybe separation can crack the hard shell of pretense that years of trying to love and connect hasn't.
But whether separation helps an n-type or not, I think it may help to be able to live more honestly, in a way where there is no need to stuff away feeling and ability to participate in a less encumbered way in sharing the Lord...or is it sometimes God's will to go down in flames right in a hard place with flying arrows and personality-twisting manipulations all around? Separation may not stop the attack of the enemy. It may increase attacks and hurt to others, and continue until death.
I confess, I imagine a freedom in separation from an n-type person...and it isn't just for righteous reasons...probably really dreaming of feeling free of the wearying mental work of always being guarded...and being free of being in an environment where a significant person doesn't even really know you or want to know you. But, still, they keep maintaining a superficial or shallow connection of "lunch dates" and talk about "deep topics" that still avoid personal-ness. It's insidious, covert craziness. Dreaming of freedom from it is torturous...for I fear freedom may not be really freedom, but would bring worse trouble for innocent ones.
Wednesday, December 12, 2018
The vine
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
John 15:58
I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.
John 15:58
I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.
Never give up
Never give up, because you never know if the next try is going to be the one that works.
Good things
Sometimes the reason good things are not happening to you is because you are the good thing that needs to happen to other people.
This job
This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God's way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness.
Rather strugggle
She'd rather struggle than ask for help, because she's tired of empty promises and getting it thrown in her face. She deserves effort and loyalty without asking.
Biggest thief
Worrying is the biggest thief on the planet. It robs you of your peace, your joy, your sleep. Trust God and enter into His rest.
Monday, December 10, 2018
Overloves
Today I read something that said, "because someone who overthinks is also someone who overloves" and I couldn't agree more.
Live
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
John 11:25
Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live."
John 11:25
Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live."
Lost respect
Have you ever lost all respect for someone? Like you don't hate them, but you don't feel the need to associate yourself or say anything to them anymore?
Some people
Some people don't love you, they don't even care about you, they just want to stay connected to you. They love the benefits...so they do the minimal...a little phone call here and there, just checking/thinking about ya. What they are really doing is maintaining a connection, so when they need you...they still have a way in.
Saturday, December 8, 2018
A year from now
A year from now, everything you're stressing about won't mean a thing. Be thankful, smile more, spend more time with family and don't stress the small things. This is our once chance at life. Don't let anyone or anything take away your happiness.
Biggest lesson
The biggest lesson I learned this year is to not force anything: conversations, friendships, relationships, attention, love. Anything forced is just not worth fighting for, whatever flows flows, what crashes crashes. It is what it is.
Sickens
It sickens me that there are people who can make up so much lies about someone and make themselves look so innocent and they destroy someone's reputation all because they are jealous and pathetic and so many people believe them without finding out the truth.
Repeatedly
If you repeatedly have to tell someone the exact same thing about how you feel and nothing changes, they don't respect you.
Placed
By Toby Mac
God has placed you where you're at in this very moment for a reason. Remember that and trust He is working everything out.
God has placed you where you're at in this very moment for a reason. Remember that and trust He is working everything out.
Confidence
Confidence isn't walking into a room thinking you're better than everyone, it's walking in and not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.
You lose her
This Is How You Lose Her When She Wanted To Be Yours
You lose her when you stop paying attention to her. To her feelings. To the changes in her behavior. To the sadness in her eyes. To the things she's been subtly asking you to do but you've been oblivious to them all.
You lose her when you give her the feeling that her presence in your life is not important. That you're fine without her, that you don't need her in your life as much as she needs you. When you make her feel that spending time with her is an obligation and not something that will make your day better.
You lose her when you stop paying attention to her. To her feelings. To the changes in her behavior. To the sadness in her eyes. To the things she's been subtly asking you to do but you've been oblivious to them all.
You lose her when you give her the feeling that her presence in your life is not important. That you're fine without her, that you don't need her in your life as much as she needs you. When you make her feel that spending time with her is an obligation and not something that will make your day better.
Still learning
From Rachel Wiley, Nothing is Okay
I am still learning how to ask for what I deserve without it also sounding like an apology.
I am still learning how to ask for what I deserve without it also sounding like an apology.
Maybe
Maybe we just want somebody to see us without imagining a future without us.
-William Evans, Still Can't Do My Daughter's Hair
-William Evans, Still Can't Do My Daughter's Hair
End of the day
At the end of the day,
I'm a good woman. I'm not
perfect by any means but my
intentions are good, my heart
is pure and I love hard with
everything I've got and because
of those things...I'm worth it.
Always have been and
always will be.
How you handle it
Yesterday someone said to me, "I would've never guessed you've been through what you have, you carry yourself so well," and that's when I realized, it's not what happens to you, it's how you handle it.
Way ahead
No matter how many mistakes
you make or how slow you progress,
you are still way ahead of
everyone who isn't trying.
you make or how slow you progress,
you are still way ahead of
everyone who isn't trying.
Busy with her kingdom
Don't be a queen
waiting on a king
Be a queen busy with
her kingdom until
her king arrives
waiting on a king
Be a queen busy with
her kingdom until
her king arrives
Everything shifts
By Toby Mac
When you replace
"Why is this happening to me"
with "What is He trying to teach me?"
Everything shifts.
When you replace
"Why is this happening to me"
with "What is He trying to teach me?"
Everything shifts.
Sit still
From Corrie Ten Boom
When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark,
you don't throw away the ticket and jump off.
You sit still and trust the engineer.
When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark,
you don't throw away the ticket and jump off.
You sit still and trust the engineer.
Didn't love her
You didn't love her
You just didn't want to be alone. Or
maybe, maybe she was just good for your
ego. Or, or maybe she made
you feel better about your miserable life,
but you didn't love her. Because you don't
destroy people you love.
-Grey's Anatomy
Never beg
Never beg for love.
Never beg someone to be with you.
Never beg someone to come back or stay.
Never beg for attention, commitment,
affection, time and effort.
You should never have to ask to feel wanted.
Begging is demanding and degrading.
If someone doesn't willingly give you
these things with their arms wide open,
they aren't worth it.
No one, under any circumstances,
is ever worth begging for.
Never beg someone to be with you.
Never beg someone to come back or stay.
Never beg for attention, commitment,
affection, time and effort.
You should never have to ask to feel wanted.
Begging is demanding and degrading.
If someone doesn't willingly give you
these things with their arms wide open,
they aren't worth it.
No one, under any circumstances,
is ever worth begging for.
Prosperity
Prosperity cannot be a proof of God's favor, since it is what the devil promises to those who worship him. -John Piper
Life advice
Life advice: Always be the person you can be. Be kind even when you're tired. Be understanding even when you're angry. Do more than you're asked and don't ask for anything in return. Don't silently expect anything either. Listen when someone talks, stop just thinking of how you'll reply. Tell people that you love them and that you appreciate them. Go out of your way to do things for people. Be the greatest person you can possibly be and when you mess up, make up for it in the next moment or minute or day. One thing you should never do? Never spend your time trying to prove to anybody that you're great, your actions will speak for themselves and we only have limited time on this earth, don't waste it. If someone doesn't see your light, don't worry. Like moths, good people are attracted to flame and to light, and they will come.
Friday, December 7, 2018
It's time
It's time to just be happy. Being angry, sad and overthinking isn't worth it anymore. Just let things flow. Be positive.
Rise up
You can rise up from anything. You can completely recreate yourself. Nothing is permanent. You're not stuck. You have choices. You can think new thoughts. You can learn something new. You can create new habits. All that matter is that you decide today and never look back.
Smiling
A man that will go out of his way to keep you smiling is a gift. A lot of men want to make your body feel good, not many aim to make your soul feel good.
Ready
Repeat, but worth repeating
My mom once said to me,
I can tell you over and over to leave the situation, but you won't until you are ready. One day you will wake up and realize that this isn't what you want to feel like anymore and you'll be done. And I think it's important that everyone hears this.
My mom once said to me,
I can tell you over and over to leave the situation, but you won't until you are ready. One day you will wake up and realize that this isn't what you want to feel like anymore and you'll be done. And I think it's important that everyone hears this.
Losing
I have always been afraid of losing people I love, but sometimes I keep asking myself, Is there anyone who's afraid of losing me too?
Someone who
Someone who has been mentally abused will:
-Constantly apologize
-Hide their feelings in fear of upsetting you
-Break down during small disagreements thinking it will explode
-Need a lot of reassurance
Please be patient, we are trying
-Constantly apologize
-Hide their feelings in fear of upsetting you
-Break down during small disagreements thinking it will explode
-Need a lot of reassurance
Please be patient, we are trying
Thursday, December 6, 2018
Okayden
Saw this on FB the other day-obvious why I saved it:
Girls nowadays be like "I got 5 kids
Brayden Hayden Jayden Kayden & Zayden"
I be like Well Okayden
Girls nowadays be like "I got 5 kids
Brayden Hayden Jayden Kayden & Zayden"
I be like Well Okayden
From you
Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy until you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you.
Keep
How to keep a man?
Being pretty won't keep a man,
sex won't keep a man,
a baby won't keep a man,
heck being a good woman barely keeps a man...
the only thing that'll keep a man
is a man that wants to be kept.
Being pretty won't keep a man,
sex won't keep a man,
a baby won't keep a man,
heck being a good woman barely keeps a man...
the only thing that'll keep a man
is a man that wants to be kept.
Pause
Practice the pause.
When in doubt, pause.
When angry, pause.
When tired, pause.
When stressed, pause.
And when you pause, pray.
When in doubt, pause.
When angry, pause.
When tired, pause.
When stressed, pause.
And when you pause, pray.
Not that powerful
If you think you've blown God's plan for your life, rest in this.
You, my beautiful friend, are not that powerful.
You, my beautiful friend, are not that powerful.
Too scared
She's too scared to get close to anyone, because anyone that ever said, "I'll be there" left her with a broken heart.
For the sheep
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
John 10:14-15
I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own. As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.
John 10:14-15
I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own. As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.
Good shepherd
Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
John 10:7, 9-10
Jesus, the Good Shepherd
Then Jesus said to them again, "Most assuredly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."
John 10:7, 9-10
Jesus, the Good Shepherd
Then Jesus said to them again, "Most assuredly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."
Wednesday, December 5, 2018
Inhibits
From Derek Prince
There's nothing that inhibits our faith more than the fear of looking foolish, isn't that right? A lot of times people will not move out in faith because they think, "I might look like a fool." But Moses was willing to look like a fool. He took this piece of wood, this tree trunk and threw it into the water with a splash. Everybody could see, everybody could hear. But the result was everybody could drink.
There's nothing that inhibits our faith more than the fear of looking foolish, isn't that right? A lot of times people will not move out in faith because they think, "I might look like a fool." But Moses was willing to look like a fool. He took this piece of wood, this tree trunk and threw it into the water with a splash. Everybody could see, everybody could hear. But the result was everybody could drink.
Storm
And once the storm is over,
you won't remember how you made
it through, how you managed to survive.
You won't even be sure, whether the storm
is really over. But one thing is certain.
When you come out of the storm,
you won't be the same person who walked
in. That's what the storm is all about.
you won't remember how you made
it through, how you managed to survive.
You won't even be sure, whether the storm
is really over. But one thing is certain.
When you come out of the storm,
you won't be the same person who walked
in. That's what the storm is all about.
With someone
From Faraway
Be with someone who loves you harder on the days you can't love yourself at all.
Be with someone who loves you harder on the days you can't love yourself at all.
Your year
If you want 2019 to be your year:
Don't sit on the couch and wait for it. Go out. Make a change. Smile more. Be excited. Do new things. Throw away what you've been cluttering. Unfollow negative people on social media. Go to bed early. Wake up early. Be fierce. Don't gossip. Show more gratitude. Do things that challenge you.
Be brave.
Don't sit on the couch and wait for it. Go out. Make a change. Smile more. Be excited. Do new things. Throw away what you've been cluttering. Unfollow negative people on social media. Go to bed early. Wake up early. Be fierce. Don't gossip. Show more gratitude. Do things that challenge you.
Be brave.
Process
People never want to be part of the process, but they want to be part of the outcome.
The process is where you figure out who's worth being part of the outcome.
The process is where you figure out who's worth being part of the outcome.
Most beautiful
Falling in love with someone you had no intentions on falling for, is the most beautiful kind of love. No forcing chemistry, or trying to save them. Just a pure, raw connection that created on its own.
DNA
Pretty sure this is from Priscilla Shirer Bible Study book
Using your own grit and personal resolution to force changes in your behavior is not only exhausting to maintain but nearly always proves to be nothing more than a temporary fix. Inevitable relapses churn up into a never-ending cycle of disappointment, frustration, self-hatred, along with other unhealthy emotions. Lasting change - the kind that frees you to walk within rhythms of grace, fueled by the power of God - must stem from the inside, not the outside. Despite your sinful deficiencies, which each of us shares, trust yourself to His care and cooperate with Him in the ways He's instructed. The DNA is there. Trust Him to fashion your behaviors in the image of Christ.
Using your own grit and personal resolution to force changes in your behavior is not only exhausting to maintain but nearly always proves to be nothing more than a temporary fix. Inevitable relapses churn up into a never-ending cycle of disappointment, frustration, self-hatred, along with other unhealthy emotions. Lasting change - the kind that frees you to walk within rhythms of grace, fueled by the power of God - must stem from the inside, not the outside. Despite your sinful deficiencies, which each of us shares, trust yourself to His care and cooperate with Him in the ways He's instructed. The DNA is there. Trust Him to fashion your behaviors in the image of Christ.
Owning
From Brene Brown
Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.
Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.
Tuesday, December 4, 2018
Courage
Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."
The light
From Bible Gateway Verse of the Day
John 8:12
Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, "I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness but have the light of life."
John 8:12
Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, "I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness but have the light of life."