You're okay

Shared by Nichole Richard Lewis

Me: Okay, God, here's the thing. I'm scared. I'm trying not to be, but I am.

God: I know. Want to talk about it?

Me: Do we need to? I mean, you already know.

God: Let's talk about it anyway...We've done this before.

Me: I know, I just feel like I should be bigger or stronger or something by now.

God: *waiting patiently, unhurried, undistracted, never annoyed*

Me: Okay. So, I'm afraid I'll do everything I can to protect my family and it won't be enough. I'm afraid of someone I love, dying. I'm afraid the world won't go back to what it was before. I'm afraid my life is always going to feel a little bit unsettled.

God: Anything else?

Me: EVERYTHING ELSE.

God: Remember how your boys woke up the other night and came running down the hall to your bedroom?

Me: Yes.

God: You were still awake, so when you heard him/her running, you started calling out to them before they even got to you...remember? Do you remember what you called out to them?

Me: I said, "You're okay! You're okay! You're okay!"

God: Why did you call to them? Why didn't you just wait for them to get to your room?

Me: Because I wanted them to know that I was awake, and I heard them, and they didn't have to be afraid all the way to the end of the dark hallway.

God: Exactly. I hear you, daughter. I hear your thoughts racing like feet down the dark hallway. There's an other side to all of this. I'm there already. I've seen the end of it. And I want you to know right here as you walk through it, you're okay. I haven't gone to sleep, and I won't.

Me: *crying* Can we sit together awhile? Can we just sit here a minute before I go back to facing it all?

God: There's nothing I'd love more.