Avid reader

I'm debating over whether to order this book or not. It's called Emotional Abuse: Silent Killer of Marriage by Austin James, an admitted abuser. One of the reviews of the book on Amazon was amazing. It was written by someone named Avid Reader.

There was something about how counseling is not the answer to this problem-I will have to look that up.

When the church is pitying the abuser and putting all the pressure on the victim to try harder in the marriage, they have forgotten that "He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous are both alike an abomination to the Lord" (Proverbs 17:15).

...abuse is Biblical grounds for divorce

What she needed to do was obey the Bible's command to "Go from the presence of a foolish man when you perceive not in him the lips of knowledge" (Proverbs 14:7).

The abusive form of anger puts the abuser in the category of "foolish" according to Proverbs 14:17. "He that is soon angry, deals foolishly." And warns us that someone "with a quick temper, sins a lot" (Proverbs 29:22).

But instead of teaching the Bible, what you hear all the time preached from the pulpit is that divorce is sinful and reconciliation is your only option. Hang on a second-if reconciliation is your only option than why does Proverbs 22:24 say, "Do not even associate with a man given to angry outbursts."

While overnight repentance is possible, it takes time to change behavioral patterns.

What it said about counseling: He warns people that if they visit a counselor for help and that counselor insists on joint marriage counseling first---then walk away because you won't find the help you need there. He points out that even when he and his wife sought professional help "not once did the question of abuse come up during years of seeing both secular and Christian counselors." That's a real problem, especially in the church. However, just to be clear, Austin does recommend seeking professional help---but distinguishes between types of counseling that aren't helpful in dealing with abuse.